Ruthless (7 page)

She twisted her diamond wedding band around on her finger. “I don’t know. It doesn’t make sense to me. You’re not a quitter, Luc. If you’re willing to give up on her, even though you clearly don’t want to, there must be some other reason. And don’t give me that bullshit about your crummy childhood or divorce statistics or the fact that you’re not ready to commit to just one woman. You and Marisa were together for two years. Did you ever cheat on her?”

He reared back. “What? No, I’d never do that to her.”

Lexi grinned. “My point exactly. You were already committed to her, whether you had the piece of paper to prove it or not. My guess is this is more about kids than marriage, am I right?”

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. This conversation was venturing into dangerous territory. “You know I don’t want kids, Lexi.”

She stared at him as though she was trying to read his body language. “Why not?”

He looked over her shoulder at the threesome behind them talking, laughing, and drinking beer. “I’m not good with kids.”

“Ever tried?”

He swallowed, trying to avoid eye contact. He had the feeling she was on to him. “No, why would you ask me that?”

She shrugged. “How do you know you’re not a natural? If you had a baby...”

He stood up. He was not going to have this conversation, not tonight. “I don’t wanna talk about this anymore, Lexi. I know you’re trying to help, but don’t bother.” He left her sitting in the booth. He could feel her eyes boring into him as he claimed the seat beside her husband.

“Uh oh.” Josh inclined his head toward Lexi and chuckled. “It looks like somebody’s got her pissed off. Sure glad it wasn’t me.”

“Pour me a beer,” Luc said, pointing to the pitcher of brew.

Tim looked at Marisa. “You wanna dance, darlin’?”

She cast a glance at Luc. “Uh, sure. Why not?”

He watched them walk towards the dance floor as he took a swig of beer. “What the hell does she see in that hick?”

Josh laughed. “He’s not a bad guy, Luc.”

Lexi beckoned Josh over and he excused himself.

Luc sat back and watched Marisa dance with her fiancé. He knew Tim wasn’t the man for her.

Something was missing, that glow that lit her up from the inside out. That sparkle she used to get in her eyes whenever he teased her, or told her he loved her, or just held her in his arms. He’d bet his last dollar he could still put that sparkle in her eyes. The song ended and he stood up, ready to test his theory.

Tim was making his way to the men’s room as Marisa walked toward their table. He decided to head her off at the pass. The music started to play and he smiled. Perfect.

He stood in front of her, making it impossible for her to make her way past him. “I believe they’re playin’ our song, pretty lady.”

She shook her head and cast her eyes at the ground. “I can’t, Luc.”

He took her hand in his. “Come on, baby. Just one dance, for old time’s sake.”

She bit her lip as she looked toward the restrooms.

“Come on, he’ll have you for the rest of his life. I’m just asking for the next four minutes. What do you say?”

She led him onto the dance floor. She placed her hand on his shoulder, trying to keep a respectable distance between them, but he stepped in, closing the gap between them.

He flattened his palm against the curve of her spine, just above the swell of her round bottom. He took her other hand in his and held it against his chest. “I haven’t heard this song in a long time,” he whispered.

“I have it on my iPod,” she whispered back. She looked up at him and quickly looked away when their eyes met.

He knew she was trying to fight their attraction, and it broke his heart. “Do you ever listen to it?”

She stared at a button on his shirt. “Sometimes.”

“Do you ever think of me, of us?”

She looked up at him, her eyes shining with tears. “You know I do. Why are you doing this to me?”

He tightened his hold on her, wanting nothing more than to ease her pain. “Doesn’t that tell you something, sweetheart?”

“It tells me I’m a fool for falling in love with you.”

He shook his head. “I was watching you with him, Marisa. He’s not the one.”

She bit her bottom lip. “Don’t say that. You don’t know anything about him.”

“I told myself that if I saw that look in your eye, I’d get up, walk out, and never bother you again. I didn’t see it.”

She looked up at him. “What look?”

He smiled. “The look you have in your eyes right now. It’s that look you get every time you look at me. I love you so much, baby.”

Luc felt a firm hand on his shoulder. “What the hell?”

Tim pulled him back. “I’m cuttin’ in, buddy.”

Luc turned out of Marisa’s arms and stood toe to toe with his adversary. “The hell you are.”

Marisa stepped between the two men. “Please don’t do this.” She flattened her palms against Luc’s chest and looked up at him. “Luc, you need to go, now.”

He tore his gaze away from her fiancé long enough to look down at her. He could see this was tearing her apart. The last thing he wanted was to cause her any more pain. “Fine. Just remember what I said.”

Chapter Six

Marisa cradled her niece in her arms and pressed her lips against the girl’s downy soft hair. She inhaled the fresh scent of baby shampoo and felt the longing that had been ever-present in the weeks since Alisa graced their lives. “You’re so beautiful,” she whispered. “Your mommy and daddy are so lucky to have you.”

“You can say that again,” Trey said, coming up behind her. He put his arm around his sister’s shoulder and smiled down at his daughter. “I still can’t believe it. Some days I ask myself what the hell I did to deserve all this.” He laughed. “I must’ve been a saint in a previous life.”

Marisa looked up at her brother. He’d been more at peace in the weeks since Alisa’s birth than she had ever seen him. It was as though this tiny, perfect baby had healed his broken heart, making him whole again. “I’m so happy for you guys.”

Trey kissed the top of her head. “I wish I could say the same about you, kiddo.”

Marisa tensed at Trey’s words. He’d said very little about her engagement. He offered the obligatory congratulations when she told him the news, but she knew he had reservations about her decision. “Why do you say that?”

Trey sighed and took a step back, staring at her intently. “Do you really have to ask? You’re trying to force yourself to feel something you don’t, honey. It’s not that I don’t like Tim; I do. I just don’t think he’s the right man for you.”

“Now you sound like Luc.” She knew her brother was concerned about her, but she resented the implication that she wasn’t capable of making her own decisions. Tim wanted her to be happy, unlike Luc, who only seemed to care about his own happiness.

“Luc has an ulterior motive; I don’t. I just don’t want to see you make a mistake.” He reached over to kiss her forehead. “You know how much Sierra and I love you, darlin’. We’re just concerned that you’re not in the right state of mind to make decisions that’ll affect the rest of your life.”

She smoothed a crease in Alisa’s silk christening gown. “I just want what you have, Trey.” She choked back a sob. “I want someone to love me. I want a baby to fill this hole in my heart.”

Trey carefully took Alisa out of her arms and settled the sleeping baby in her bassinet. “Honey, a baby isn’t gonna do that for you. A baby is an amazing addition to your life when the time is right, but they can’t erase the mistakes of the past or help heal your broken heart. Only time can do that.”

She turned away from him and went to the window. She watched the caterers unloading their trucks, preparing for the reception in honor of Alisa’s christening. “I wish things could be different.” She touched the cool glass and watched the sparkle of her engagement ring dance in the sunlight. “I care about Tim, but...”

Trey came up behind her, resting his hands on her shoulders. “But he’s not Luc.”

Marisa leaned against her brother, grateful for his support. “When is it going to stop hurting so much, Trey?” She brushed at the tears streaking her face.

He kissed the top of her head. “I wish I could answer that, honey. I still hurt like hell after five years of being without Sierra. I don’t know that I ever would have gotten over her.”

She turned into his arms and leaned her head against his chest. “Are you saying you don’t think I’ll ever be able to get over Luc?”

“I don’t know,” he whispered, stroking her hair.

“I wake up with this dull ache in my chest every morning when I remember he’s not there.”

Trey sighed. “If you feel that way, maybe you need to re-think things. Don’t rush into anything, Marisa. Take some time to decide if this marriage is what you really want.”

She tipped her head back to look at her brother. “You don’t think I should marry Tim, do you?”

He shook his head. “Not right now. I think you need time to heal first.”

She closed her eyes. “I want to get married and have a family, not five or ten years from now, but now, while I’m still young enough to enjoy it. Tim wants those things too, and I know he loves me.”

“But do you love him?”

She forced herself to open her eyes and look at him. “I do love him. Not the way I love Luc, but maybe that’s a good thing. I don’t think I ever want to open myself up to this kind of pain again.”

He grabbed her shoulders. “Honey, that intensity is what will get you through the hard times in a relationship. When you don’t have that, the relationship isn’t even worth fighting to save.”

“But I can’t change him, Trey. Luc’s a strong man. He’s knows what he wants and what he doesn’t want. Trouble is, he doesn’t want the things that I can’t live without.”

He sighed. “I know. I wish I had the answers, honey. I don’t, but what I can tell you is that you’ll never be happy if you settle for less than you deserve.”

She dropped her chin to her chest. “I know you’re right. Thanks. You’ve given me a lot to think about.”

Alisa started to fuss, and Trey walked over to her bassinet. He smiled as he watched her open her eyes and look up at him. “Hey, pretty lady.”

Marisa walked over and put her arm around her brother’s waist. “It’s a big day for her. For her mommy and daddy too.”

Trey looked down at her. “I hope you understand why we asked Josh and Lexi when Luc backed out on us.”

Marisa gripped his forearm. “Of course I understand. Josh is already a great dad, and I’m sure he and Lexi will be the perfect godparents. You made the right choice, Trey. Please don’t feel guilty.”

“Luc is like a brother to me. I still can’t understand why he wouldn’t want to do this for us.”

“The idea of being responsible for a child terrifies him. I have no idea why; it just does.”

“He’s gonna be there today. Are you okay with that?”

“It’s not like I have a choice. He’s a part of your life. I know that. I wouldn’t ask you to choose between us.”

Trey turned her to face him, holding her hands. “You know if I had to choose, I’d choose you, right?”

Marisa laughed and reached up to kiss his cheek. “You’re lying, but thanks for saying that.”

Luc didn’t know how he was going to get through this day. He hadn’t attended a christening in fifteen years because they reminded him of everything he was trying so hard to forget. As if the event itself wasn’t going to be torturous enough, Marisa would be there with the new man in her life, rubbing his nose in the fact that she was moving on without him.

He thought about calling Trey and telling him he was feeling under the weather, which was true, given the migraine that had been plaguing him since he woke up that morning, but he’d already disappointed his friend by refusing to be Alisa’s godfather. He couldn’t bring himself to disappoint him again.

The church parking lot was already teeming with cars when he arrived. He slid his Maserti into a parking spot bordering the grass and turned off the ignition. He stared straight ahead, trying to work up the courage to reach for the door handle. A car horn startled him, making him jump.

He looked out the window to see Avery seated behind the wheel of her convertible, laughing at him. He shook his head and reached for the door handle, suddenly grateful his friend had a warped sense of humor. He could use a little levity today.

She met him around the front of the car, still chuckling to herself. “You should have seen the look on your face.”

He took a moment to admire her. With her long hair swept off her neck, skillfully applied make-up, and a form-fitting designer suit, the woman was a sight to behold. He extended his arm. “Quit bustin’ my chops, lady.” He waited for her to wrap her hand around his bicep. “You look beautiful, by the way.”

She gave him a thorough once over. “You don’t look so bad yourself, Spencer.”   

He took a deep breath. “I gotta be honest, Avery. I’m really not looking forward to this.”

She shot him a curious side-long glance. “I heard Trey asked you to be little Alisa’s godfather and you turned him down. What’s up with that?”

He watched Marisa make her way across the parking lot, holding hands with her cowboy. “Let’s just say I’m not very good with babies.”

She laughed. “Given your history with women, I’m surprised there isn’t at least one dark-haired, dark-eyed little devil out there with that irresistible Spencer cleft in his chin.”

He stopped in his tracks when the rush of blood to his head made him feel dizzy.

“Hey, you okay? I was only joking, Spencer. I know from personal experience that you don’t have sex without protection. Hell, you’re fanatical about it.”

He had to get his act together. It had been fifteen years, and he was still allowing it to affect him like it happened only yesterday. Avery was too smart not to see right through his inane excuses. “Truth is, I’ve got a killer migraine. I think I’m gonna head back to the car and get my meds. You head on in. Save me a seat.”

She stared at him. “You sure you’re okay, Luc?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll catch up with you in a bit.”