Sacrifice (8 page)

She didn’t say anything else to me until we made it inside the quiet safety of her apartment. The place was filled with little trinkets. Photos in home made frames decorated the tables. Rachel was a colourful person, she liked to have pretty things around her in some ways she reminded me of a magpie, always needing shiny little baubles surrounding her in her nest.

“So you have to tell me everything that happened?” She sat me down in a seat next to her breakfast counter as she began to make coffee. I watched without opening my mouth as she headed for the fridge and pulled a carton of milk and a can of cola from its depths.

She plonked the can down in front of me before smiling. “I thought you’d prefer that.”

Grinning I nodded and popped the ring pull, the satisfying hiss of the fizz instantly relaxing me. She had her back to me when she spoke again.

“So, I remember you were sitting on the couch talking to Ian… And then you disappeared.”

“You didn’t notice him leaving with me?”

Rachel turned to me and set the french press down on the counter and two mugs. She chewed her lip and tried not to make eye contact with me. “I didn’t…” She seemed to hesitate for a second before bursting out. “It wasn’t my fault. The drummer from Backward Sliding Domino started talking to me… And he is just so cute and funny and a little bit shy and…” She paused again, cutting off her own excited outburst. “I’m sorry. I’m a terrible friend I should have noticed.”

I shook my head and sipped from the can. I didn’t hold it against her. If it had been me and the drummer from Domino had started talking to me I doubted I would have noticed anything odd happening.

“It’s fine. And anyway Ian is a creep. He planned it that no one would notice. He didn’t count on Sam…” I trailed off as a blush crept up my cheeks. I couldn’t shake the image of him lying in my bed, stripped to the waist, his dark hair tousled.

Rachel sat down opposite me, a glint in her eye as she noticed my sudden discomfort. “Did something happen between you and Sam?”

“No.” I answered to quickly, the word practically jumping from my mouth. Inwardly I cursed myself, she knew now that something had happened. But how was I supposed to explain it. Technically nothing had happened but I had felt it and I knew Sam had too. I knew from the look in his eyes that he had felt what I felt…

“Na-tash-a…” She drew out the sound of my voice like I was a small child and she needed to fight with me to get the truth.

“Fine, nothing actually happened but something almost did…”

She looked shocked for a minute, her hand covering her mouth. “He didn’t… You know try anything on while you were?”

Laughing I shook my head. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I watched her try to recover her expression. She wiped the look of shock away and replaced it with indignation.

“God, no. He was a perfect gentleman… Although I almost wasn’t a lady when I woke up this morning and saw him lying in my bed half naked.”

The look of shock was back on Rachel’s face instantly. “But how?”

I shrugged and sipped the drink she had given me. “I don’t know. I presume he thought it was best to sleep over when he brought me back last night… Maybe he was worried or something?”

With everything that had gone on it hadn’t even occurred to me to wonder why he had been half naked in my bed. Could he really have been worried about me? He didn’t know me enough to worry about me, or at least I presumed. Maybe because he had been the one to take me from Ian. Maybe he felt responsible somehow?

“Or maybe he likes you. Maybe he just wanted to make sure you were alright?” Rachel’s looked at me with such earnestness reflected in her eyes. It made me want to believe her. I didn’t know how she did it. How she could always look at people and only see the best of intentions.

“So what almost happened?”

“I think we almost kissed…”

“You think?” She sat back in her seat and poured a cup of black coffee for herself. She pushed the french press towards me but I shook my head. The last thing I needed right now was more caffeine in my system.

“How can you only think you nearly kissed? It’s pretty obvious when a guy is about to kiss you?”

“Maybe for you? But with Sam, I don’t know. We shared something. Something happened and we were so close and I closed my eyes… What I saw in his eyes…” I shivered as I remembered the look of unbridled desire that had lit up his entire face.

“He wanted to possess me.”

“Possess you?” Rachel scoffed into her cup. “That’s not a real thing. No one actually wants to possess someone else.”

Frustrated I picked at the ring pull on the top of the can. “Well I don’t know how else to describe what I saw in his face.

“He wanted to screw you?” Rachel added, a helpful note in her voice.

“No…” I thought about it for a second before continuing. “Well yes, but it was more than that. That’s why I said possess…”

She quirked her perfectly arched eyebrows at me, cradling the cup in her hands. “I think you’re reading too much into all of this. Guys want to screw us… Sometimes we get lucky and they want to date us at the same time… But let’s be honest here. At our age, do you know of any guys who are capable of looking at us as though they want to possess us? It’s a look you see in movies.”

I shook my head and chewed on my lip thoughtfully. On one hand she was right. It was a look that seemed to exist in the movies. And she was right when she said there was no guys our age who could pull off a look like that… I’d have fully agreed with her if I hadn’t seen that exact look in Sam’s eyes in the coffee shop. Surely, somewhere along the line there had to be an exception to the rule?

“You’re wrong about Sam. That was how he looked at me. I can’t explain it but I know I saw it and what I felt…” I sucked in a deep breath. “What he made me feel… It was like nothing I’ve ever experienced on this earth before.”

Rachel watched me for a few moments before slowly taking a long drink of the coffee in her cup. “Well if that’s true, then why are you here with me, and not with him?”

It was a good question and it was one I didn’t have a proper answer for. How could I turn around and tell her after all of that I was scared. I was scared of what Sam made me feel. Scared of the possibility that seemed to lie between us. Nope I had well and truly blown it. He probably thought I was complete nut job now. A nut job that went out and allowed random guys from bands to drug her… I was hopeless…

“I ran away… I wasn’t sure how I should handle the almost kiss…”

Rachel’s eyes widened in surprise before she finally started to laugh. “You didn’t?”

I nodded and began to laugh myself. At this point there wasn’t much else I could do. Laughing seemed like the only sensible thing left to me.

“Nat, you know you have to go back don’t you?”

I shook my head and defiantly drank the last of the cola before dropping the can into the bin tucked in the corner. 

“Nope, I don’t ever have to go back. If we don’t see each other again then we can pretend that all this never happened…”

Rachel shook her head and continued to nurse her cup. “It’s not that simple and you know that. Especially if you shared a moment like you said… That doesn’t just get forgotten.”

I shrugged. As far as I was concerned it was something that would have to be forgotten. I wasn’t willing to go looking for Sam, no matter how much I wanted to. No matter how much I desperately wanted another chance at that kiss…

CHAPTER NINE

Sam

Watching Natasha run from the restaurant Sam tried to follow her. Something had passed between them. He had felt it and from the look in her eyes she had felt it too. It wasn’t like anything he had ever experienced before. And Sam found himself left with a deep fear that if he didn’t find her then he might lose that feeling forever.

“Let me just get that for you.” Kimberly blocked his path from the booth, her hands filled with paper towels as she attempted to wipe down the front of him. She patted and pressed at him as Sam tried to dodge out past her.

“Really it’s fine you don’t have to.” 

“I know I don’t have to, I want to.” She smiled up at him, the look in her eyes only to clear on her intent. Sam let out a long sigh of frustration.

“Kimberly, I’m sure you’re a lovely girl and I have no doubt that the right guy is out there looking for you. But I’m not him.”

Several emotions seemed to flit across her face, hurt, disappointment, anger, before it circled back around to lust. Sam didn’t want to just push past her. The last thing he wanted was to humiliate her.

Should have thought of that before you decided to pull your little stunt with Natasha.
 

The little voice was right but then it was always right. He had gotten himself into this mess. Kimberly didn’t deserve to be caught in the middle of something that wasn’t of her creation.

Sam dropped a wad of notes on the table and hopped over the edge of the table effectively skipping past Kimberly. She watched him for a second before calling out to him.

“She’s not worth it. Not if she’d just up and leave you.”

Sam didn’t answer, he was far too intent on racing out the door. But Kimberly’s words resonated with him. The only problem was she didn’t know Natasha. She hadn’t seen the look in her eyes. Such longing, craving. Sam hadn’t known it before or if he had he had buried it as far down inside himself as he could but what he saw in Natasha he recognised in himself.

Glancing up and down the street there was no sign of Natasha. She was gone. Slipped away while Kimberly had kept him occupied. How Natasha had done it was beyond him. Either she had a some sort of teleportation device or she was an incredibly fast runner. But then if he had spent his entire life running from things he’d be good at it too.

His phone buzzed and he pulled it from his pocket. The number that flashed across the screen made him swallow hard. It was about time they checked in… The only thing he was thankful for was they hadn’t contacted him when he had been with Natasha. He knew he wouldn’t have been able to hide his reaction.

Sliding his finger across the screen he pressed the answer button and lifted the phone to his ear. The faint sound of crackling was the only sign that there was someone else on the line. Until he heard his voice.

“Hello, Sam, how is it going?”

The voice was cold, practically devoid of human emotion, or at least that was how Sam liked to think of it. There was no way another human could do the things this man had done and still sleep at night. In Sam’s mind he had to be something else, something less than human. Purely evil.

“How do you think it’s going?” He answered, his voice equally cold.

The laughter grated on Sam’s nerves. Sweat dripped down the back of his neck. He remembered his first ever meeting with this Marcus. The big warm smile on his face as he had entertained guests and welcomed Sam… Welcomed him as though he hadn’t been the one to send his brother off to get killed… The memory was like battery acid on the back of Sam’s tongue. It made him want to gag.

“Sam, anyone would think you didn’t want to be there?”

“You know full well this isn’t what I want.”

The line went silent for a second before the Marcus answered him again. “Is she not beautiful?”

Sam spluttered, disbelief and uncertainty making him unable to collect his thoughts into a coherent answer.

“I’ll take that as a yes. There is one thing in all of this that you need to remember, Samuel.”

When he used his full name it grated on Sam’s nerves like nails on a chalk board. He would do anything to put a stop to the voice at the other end of the line. His manipulations were beyond forgiveness. And after everything he had put Sam’s mother through, the last thing he wanted was for him to simply carry on as though nothing was the matter.

“And what would that be?” Sam let the sentence slip out from between gritted teeth. It pained him to even have to answer him. To basically allow him to do whatever in hell he wanted with no repercussions.

“We have a deal. You remember that deal, don’t you?”

Sam nodded, his throat going suddenly dry. The world seemed to tilt and heave around him. Yes they had a deal. One he would have preferred not to have to make but what choice did he have? She needed him. She needed what Marcus could provide for her if he just…

“Your mother is receiving the very best care. The doctors seem quite hopeful that she might make a recovery… And even if she doesn’t. Well we both know that you don’t want her to suffer and the only way that is guaranteed is if you do exactly as I say.”

“I know.” It choked him to answer but he did it.

“Good boy, your mother must be very proud of you?”

“I don’t think she is…”

“Oh and why is that?”

Sam paused, unsure if he should allow some of the truth to slip out. Allow Marcus to hear how much Sam’s mother loathed him. How she would rather die in agony than have anything to do with him… But Sam couldn’t let that happen to her. If she knew the truth… If she knew what he was doing. She wouldn’t be proud of him, she would hate him.

“She hates you.”

“You told her?” Marcus sounded genuinely surprised as though he had honestly suspected Sam would never tell his mother the truth. And of course he was right.

“No. That would kill her faster then the cancer.” Sam’s tone was bitter. He didn’t want Marcus to really know how he felt but he just wasn’t up to keeping the vitriol from his voice anymore. And what did it matter? Marcus wasn’t a fool, he would know, even if he didn’t hear it.

“Ah.” Marcus’ voice was back to normal, all trace of surprise wiped clean as though Sam had imagined it.

“What progress have you made? Have you gotten close to her?”

Sam swallowed hard. It pained him to answer yes but his hands were tied. He didn’t want to betray Natasha. And he certainly didn’t want Marcus to have anything to do with her. If he could keep them as far apart as possible then it would be better for her. Part of Sam wanted to believe that by doing this he was protecting her. With him she was safe. Far safer than if Marcus had sent one of his goons…