Sacrifice (9 page)

“Yes.” He kept his replies curt and clipped.

“And?” Marcus asked, his voice betraying his impatience.

“I need more time… I’ve only just begun to get close to her.”

It wasn’t strictly a lie but it would work to throw Marcus off, for a little while at least. Or that was Sam’s hope. At the end of the day he didn’t if Marcus would have the patience to keep waiting for Natasha’s father to give in. If he loved his daughter then he would. It was the chance she had. Her life depended on his feelings for her. And from what Sam had heard from Natasha today it didn’t look to good.

“You need to work faster. Wouldn’t it be terrible if your mother’s care started to slack off… Think of how quickly she could deteriorate, Sam.”

An icy shiver raced down Sam’s spine. He shut his eyes and drank in a deep breath. He needed to keep a cool head. Marcus wanted him to lose control, any excuse to claim the deal was void. He would do anything to win and Sam knew that.

“I need to gain her trust if you want this to work properly. Something like that can’t be rushed.”

“Then be your charming self. I know how good you are at that… I’ve seen you in action remember? It’s the reason I gave you this opportunity, Sam. And don’t forget everything hinges on your compliance, if I get so much as a whiff of you going off the reservation…” Marcus paused, probably more for dramatic effect than anything else. But on Sam it worked, he knew what the stakes were.

“Then you know what the consequences will be.”

The line went dead and Sam finally let out a long sigh. It wasn’t relief or frustration. It was simply that when he talked to Marcus he found it harder to breathe. The man had a way about him that made even the most mundane of tasks seem practically impossible.

Sam stared down at the phone and contemplated calling his mother. Calling her and telling her everything… In the end he didn’t. He couldn’t. She needed what Marcus could provide, even if she didn’t realise it herself. Sam couldn’t lose her too. Life was hard enough without losing the one person on this earth who actually cared about you.

She had pulled him back from the brink on more than one occasion. His father had talked of her goodness as though it were a real thing. Something tangible that could be held, treasured. She had saved him too… Until she had gotten sick for the first time. And then, just like that, it was as though all those years of her protecting him were gone. Wiped away by a disease.

Sam didn’t want that to happen to him. He wanted to protect her. And if he could give back to her even a fraction of what she had given him… The he would do whatever it took.

An image of Natasha popped unbidden into his mind. The sight of her smile, the look in her eyes when they had almost kissed… With her he could be happy. In Natasha, Sam could see for the first time in his life, a future. A real honest to god future. He just wished he could have met her before any of this. Met her back when he was just an ordinary guy. When he wasn’t what he was now. 

All he could hope for now was that her father came through for her. If he did that then a sacrifice wouldn’t be necessary. If he did that, then maybe Sam had something to be hopeful about. He had something to cling to…

CHAPTER TEN

Natasha

After I’d left Rachel’s apartment, I wandered the streets for a little while. There wasn’t a particular reason I was doing it. And it certainly had nothing to do with the fact that I was afraid to go back to my apartment. Afraid to go back and look at the bed that we had shared…

It was all so innocent and that was what bugged me. I didn’t want it to be innocent. I was tired of always pulling away. Of always hiding myself from guys that expressed even the remotest interest in me. What was wrong with me? Most girls my age would have revelled in the attention. It wasn’t that I even attracted that much attention. But when I did… I ran.

And now I’d done it again with Sam. There was something in him, something so dangerous and yet I wanted it. I wanted every part of him. I wanted to feel his burn. Skin slicked with sweat as he pressed against me. Owning my body, his hands holding me down…

I shook my head, my cheeks heating with colour. I was thinking like someone who had lost their mind. Sam was a stranger and yet I wanted all of that with him? It didn’t make sense and it wasn’t like me to think that way. Luckily I hadn’t acted on any of the impulses I was feeling…

Yet…

The little voice in the back of my mind prompted, drawing even more colour into my cheeks. The first rain drop hit my cheek as I turned back towards my apartment. By the time I made it inside the front door, I was soaked to the skin. My skin dripped and my hair hung limply around my face. And yet my skin burned with unfulfilled desire. I’d heard of people having cold showers to calm themselves down… And it was something I planned to attempt if I couldn’t get him out of my head.

“Who was he?” Lorraine’s nasally voice stopped me dead in my tracks.

“Who was who?” I asked completely taken by surprise and baffled by the tone in her voice.

“The guy you slept with last night? I didn’t think you were in the habit of bringing home your one night stands?”

Heat flooded my face and I balled my fists in an attempt to keep my anger in cheek. Who the hell was she to snoop in my business. And then to make it sound like I was some sort of hooker?

“And what do you mean by that?”

She smiled sweetly at me and turned off the t.v before giving me the benefit of her full attention.

“Well you need to bear in mind that it’s not just you living here. I’d like to know when you plan to have strange guys over. With the way you pick them, how am I to feel safe in my own home?”

I knew instantly what she was talking about. Her words brought that night flooding back to me. It stole my breath and left me scrambling to regroup my thoughts. She knew how painful it was for me… Knew it wasn’t something I was proud of. And yet she still brought it up. Still used it to slap me down when she wasn’t happy about something.

“I’m not the one who brings home strangers all the time. I’m not the one who throws parties and then doesn’t bother to clean up after it. And I’m certainly not the one that makes this apartment unsafe.”

I stormed through the living room towards my room.

“I just hope you took precautions. Who knows what he might have given you…”

I slammed the bedroom door on the sound of her laughter. We had never particularly gotten on but this attack was new. Normally she took her anger out on me when something in her life had gone wrong. But there was just something different this time. Something I couldn’t put my finger on.

Shrugging out of my dripping clothes I climbed into the shower and switched the water to cold. The second the freezing droplets hit my skin it took my breath away. I slipped in the shower and careened back into the tile wall slamming my head painfully.

I gasped as I tried to switch the heat up, my body shivering violently. Whoever had come up with the idea of a cold shower was obviously a liar and a sadist. My head ached as the water warmed up and I stood beneath the spray. My mind still spent its time dwelling on Sam. Going over every little detail from our breakfast.

The worst possible scenario was if he thought I was crazy and never tried to see me again. He knew where I lived, what bars I frequented. Even knew which coffee shop I drank in and yet I knew almost nothing about him. It was unfair.

Irritated with myself I scrubbed shampoo into my hair. Why had I allowed him to get so close? I knew what that meant. What happened when I let people in. Hell if my family couldn’t even stand to be around me, how could I expect a stranger to want to be anywhere near me? He wouldn’t. He’d seen the crazy irrational side of me now. The side of me that had other sane people running for the hills.

The side of you that brought out the worst in Daniel… The side of you that drove him to do that…
It was like a slap to the face. I didn’t want to be a victim, I was stronger than that. And yet whenever I hit a low point. Whenever something happened in my life to make me feel worthless it was the first place my mind went to. It was my fault.

I stood in the shower for longer than I intended and the water ran cold. But this time I barely felt it. The shock of the thought in my head rendering me motionless. It wasn’t until my subconscious physical reactions set in and I started to shiver that I finally switched off the shower. The water dripped from my skin as I climbed out of the shower and padded to retrieve my towel from the back of the door.

My head swam for a second and I flashed back to the night before. Ian’s mouth near my ear as he whispered to me, “Daniel says hi.”

They knew each other… Ian knew Daniel. My stomach rolled and I dropped to my knees, my stomach emptying its contents into the toilet. They knew each other and Ian had planned to… I cut my mind off as it went to the worst place imaginable. What if Daniel had known about last night? What if it was a plan between him and Ian to get me drugged and alone?

It seemed sick and perverse even by Daniel’s standards. But it wouldn’t surprise me in the least. He was capable of the worst things imaginable. Climbing to my feet I brushed the steam from the mirror and stared at the girl reflected back at me. Without any real thought I brushed my teeth, my eyes taking in every little detail of my face in the mirror.

The haunted look was back in my eyes. I’d sworn I’d never allow that to happen again. That I’d never allow Daniel to reduce me to that again. But he knew how to press my buttons, even from a distance. How he did it? How he had such a hold on me, I didn’t understand. Did I really just allow him to do it to me? Was I a glutton for punishment?

Making my way back into my bedroom I climbed into my bed and pulled the covers up over my head. They smelled of Sam. For a second I lay perfectly still unable to move. As the realisation slid over me. All thought of Daniel erased from my mind. Sam made me feel safe. For the first time in years I actually felt like I had someone I could turn to…

If you haven’t ruined it.

Closing my eyes and drinking in his scent I did my best to push the thought from my mind. I didn’t need that kind of thought right now. I had to believe that he would come back to me. That my crazy behaviour hadn’t driven him away completely. I let myself drift, my mind finally blank as I cocooned myself in the memory of him.

The sound of pounding on my bedroom door drew me out of my sleep. Opening my eyes blearily I stared around in confusion. The room was dark and I had no idea what time it was. Rolling over I stared at the clock beside my bed, the time blinking back at me.

23:02

“Natasha, get your butt out here. There’s someone at the door looking for you.” Confused I scrambled from the bed and pulled some sweats on over the long t-shirt I’d worn to bed. There had to be something wrong. No one I knew would turn up at this time looking for me. There was no text from Rachel so I knew it wasn’t her. Pulling the door open I stared out into the main area of the flat.

Lorraine was back sitting on the couch, some guy sat with her. I couldn’t make out who he was, all I could see was the back of his head. Clearly she had found someone new to dispel her loneliness. I didn’t bother saying anything to her as I made my way to the front door and tugged it open.

Sam stood outside, his dark hair plastered to his head. Clearly it hadn’t stopped raining since I’d come home. His grey shirt had turned dark and his black jeans were stuck to him like a second skin. Water dripped from him as though he had stood underneath a shower head just before coming to the door. But it was his eyes that made me gasp and take a step backward. The look was anything but friendly. It was the look I had glimpsed earlier in the diner.

“Can I come in?” He asked me, his voice gruff.

“Yeah.” The word left my mouth before I even had a chance to think about what it might mean. It was late and I was letting a strange guy into the apartment. Except Sam wasn’t a stranger. Not anymore. That was just something I used to as an excuse.

I automatically moved to the side and let him in. I closed the door without uttering a word and he followed me back through the apartment and down the hall to my bedroom. I could hear the steady drip, drip, drip, as the water fell from him onto the floor. The sound was muted the second he stepped onto the carpet in my room.

I turned and watched as he stood awkwardly in the centre of the bedroom. Unsure where to put himself, and all too aware of the large puddle he was beginning to create on the floor. I grabbed a fresh towel from the pile of folded towels on a chair behind the door and threw it to him. He caught it easily and began to mop up the worst of the wet from his face and hair.

“What are you doing here?” I asked finally.

“Things went weird this morning… I didn’t want to leave it that way. I didn’t think it was a good idea.”

I didn’t know how to answer him. He wasn’t wrong when he said things went weird. They had gone really weird. But then things had been kind of off ever since I’d lain eyes on him. Maybe it was just one of those things. Maybe we weren’t particularly compatible.

I snapped my attention back to him when I realised he was still talking and I had missed most of the beginning of it.

“Sorry what did you say?” 

Sam sighed and brushed his hand back through his hair. He took two quick steps towards me. I took two small steps backwards until my back was pressed firmly up against the hard wood of the door. The handle dug into me as Sam stood in front of me. I could smell the freshness of the rain on his skin. One small droplet rolled down his cheek and I had the overwhelming urge to lick it from his face.

The moment the thought entered my mind I blushed, the colour racing up through me. My face felt hot, too hot and the room began to spin. But it had nothing to do with the embarrassment I was feeling. No. This was all about what Sam was doing to me.