Sacrificing Sloan (Sloan Series Book 3) (19 page)

Not that I really cared about what my father said. I only cared about what I felt… how my heart went, and my heart went with Aaron.

I loved him.

I loved him more than I could ever imagine loving anyone else in the world.

He kissed my hair, and I snuggled against him. I knew what it would do to him. I wasn’t stupid—well, I had dated Boyd Lawrence for years, and okay, that was stupid—but I knew what actions would do to a guy. And I appreciated Aaron not jumping on those actions, so to speak.

Would Aaron and I ever get married? I sure hope so.

Would we ever have a family? I wanted one more than anything.

Would we wait until we got married to make love? Who knew? I hoped we would. I thought we should, but I didn’t want to rush into marriage just for “that.” It was something Aaron and I would have to discuss down the road.

For now… all I wanted to do was not think about anything but the feeling of Aaron’s arms around me, and the laughter coming from the kitchen, and two of my best friends started on their own relationship.

I shut my eyes, and it didn’t take long before I was asleep.

Dreaming.

Aaron and I were standing in a field. It was spring, and the wind gently blew the flowers and grass around soothingly. We stood under a white rose-covered arch. I had on a white lace dress. My hair was down in loose waves, and I had a crown of baby’s breath and daisies around my head. Aaron had on a gray suit and a white shirt, no tie. He smiled down at me like he was the happiest man alive.

He held my hands.

He put a ring on my finger.

He promised to love me until the end of time.

The preacher asked if there were any objections—only it wasn’t Pastor Neal—it was Mr. Lawrence. He smiled brightly, beamed from ear to ear. He looked exactly like he had when he was my Biology teacher. I missed him.

I looked out into the crowd, who were sitting in two rows on either side of a makeshift aisle. My dad was there. He looked so handsome and so proud. He had one hand on Tiffani’s leg… and one hand on my mom’s. I wasn’t sure what to think about that.

My friend, Donna, who lived next to my house, was there. She was smiling from ear to ear. She loved me, loved God… and loved looking at Aaron.

Mackenzie and Ray were there. Not up front with us, but sitting behind my parents. They were holding hands and looked totally in love. I knew they would be next to get married. I hoped they would, anyway. They were so cute together. Mackenzie was like my sister and to be marrying brothers… it was perfect.

It was all… perfect.

My side was full of people.

Only one person was on Aaron’s side. He sat way in the back, and I couldn’t see who he was, totally. It was just a black shadow.

When Mr. Lawrence asked if anyone had any objection to us getting married, my side laughed because they knew it would be the most ridiculous thing ever. Who would object to us getting married?

Then…

The shadow stood.

It walked up toward us.

The sun brightened with each step, and I couldn’t see who it was, until the shadow was right in front of us.

He had on a gray suit, just like Aaron’s. His hair was perfectly fixed like it used to be, shaggy and just below his ears.

Boyd.

I held on to Aaron’s hands tighter, as a storm cloud came over and blocked the sun.

Blocked my happiness.

Blocked everything I was trying to hold onto.

Boyd reached into his pocket. His blue eyes not leaving mine. I didn’t want to know what was in his pocket. In my mind, it was a gun or a knife, something I had to protect Aaron from, so I jumped in front of him.

He wouldn’t hurt Aaron again.

Boyd never flinched, and I noticed that he didn’t have the same look in his eyes as he had the last time I saw him, when he’d kidnapped me and took me to the falls. He looked different. He looked… peaceful.

But…

Boyd pulled his hand out of his pocket and opened his palm. It was a red rose petal.

Red roses were what he used to stalk me before the prom.

I held Aaron’s hand tighter.

He wouldn’t hurt him. Not if I could help it.

“You look beautiful.” Boyd smiled at me, a genuine smile. A smile that didn’t send shivers up my spine. It wasn’t a smile that made me want to throw up. It was the boy I used to know, before everything happened. The Boyd I loved way back when. The Boyd I thought I’d marry.

He didn’t wait for my reply. He simply let the rose petal fall to the ground and took one step back. “You take care of her.” He told Aaron.

“I will. You take care of yourself.” Aaron answered behind me.

Boyd tilted his head. “Not sure if that’s a possibility, but thanks.”

The cloud disappeared.

Sunlight shown back on the field.

Boyd was gone.

Mr. Lawrence pronounced us man and wife.

CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

Aaron

“
H
EY… ARE YOU CRYING?”
S
HE’D TENSED
up while she dreamed and was saying something. It had to be a nightmare, and I wanted to protect her from it. I tried to wake her up, but nothing worked, until finally her eyes opened. When they did, tears streamed down her face.

She instantly wiped them away. “No…”

I gave her “the look.”

“Yeah, okay. I’m crying. It was a dream.”

“Nightmare? Did you dream about… you know?”

“World peace?”

“Would that be a nightmare?” I tried to laugh, but I didn’t have it in me. Instead, I kissed her gently on the forehead and turned her until she was facing me, my body flush with hers. She was careful not to touch my leg, which I appreciated. It was the reason I was lying down in the first place. Stupid knee surgery.

“No… but this one was.”

“What did you dream?” I placed a strand of hair behind her ear and rubbed her cheek with my finger.

“It was stupid.”

“What?” I wouldn’t let this go. Sloan needed to talk about this, or she’d never get over it. It would be between us forever, and I didn’t want that.

She sighed and shut her eyes. When she opened them back up, she kissed the tip of my nose. It was adorable. “Don’t change the subject.”

“Sorry,” but she didn’t sound sorry. “I dreamed something about me and you.”

“Oh…” that piqued my interest. I figured it was something to do with Boyd, not me. “Did we um… have…”

“Sex.”

“Fun. I was going to say fun.”

“Fun sex?” She smiled. I loved it when she smiled. It was so few and far between, now.

“Does everything have to be about sex with you?” I faked annoyance. “Sheesh. You’d think you’d respect me a little more.”

“Oh… I’m sorry. I forgot how virginal you were.”

“That’s me.” I laughed back. I wished we could keep this going, but I knew she was stalling. What better way to stall a man than bring up the ‘s’ word? “Seriously, don’t change the subject. What were you dreaming? Why were you crying?”

She waited a few seconds before she got into it. “We were getting married, okay. It’s sort of embarrassing.”

Awww… I got all kinds of happy. She dreamed we were getting married, but then again she woke up crying, so maybe she didn’t want to marry me?

Whoa!

Was I really thinking about marriage? Me? Aaron Hunter… thinking about actually settling down with a girl I had only officially dated for a week?

Maybe I had hit my head harder than I thought on the way down the falls?

“You were crying because you were marrying me? Were they happy tears?”

“Don’t mock me.” She pretended to hit my shoulder, and I pretended to be all hurt over it. This was nice, but it wasn’t getting to the meat of the problem.

I knew I had to get very serious and very focused, if I wanted to help her. And I did. I wanted more than anything in the world to help her. “Why were you crying?” My voice was low to let her know I wasn’t kidding this time.

She bit her lip, and I wondered if maybe I’d gone too far. Maybe she didn’t want to talk about it. Would I want to talk about it? “We were in a field. It was so nice and warm. It was… perfect. And the preacher asked if anyone objected to us getting married.”

“… and Boyd did.” I finished for her. I knew he’d never leave her alone. Even in her dreams. I knew it because he wouldn’t leave me alone.

“No… well… yeah. He stood up, but he gave us his blessing. Then he disappeared.”

“He disappeared?”

“Yeah. And then I woke up crying. I’m not sure why I’m crying, but yeah… it was sad. It was like… he was the Boyd I used to know, know what I mean? He was sweet and kind and didn’t have that look about him.”

“Do you think you’ve forgiven him?” Because I didn’t think I had. Or maybe I had. I wasn’t quite sure. I wanted to forgive him—I take that back. I wanted to move on past him and forget he ever existed. That’s what I wanted. I didn’t think it would happen, though.

“I don’t know. I told him in the dream I did. And I felt better.”

“Maybe you should do it in real life?”

“Maybe we both should.” She wrapped her fingers around mind and snuggled her head under my chin. It was an incredibly scary thought—forgive Boyd. Move on from Boyd.

Even though he was dead, he haunted me more than when he was alive. It was like those video games with the jump-scares. When I dreamed, I had no idea when he would jump out, and I wasn’t sure I could handle it anymore.

Maybe she had a point? “How do I forgive him? I mean… how do we forgive him?” I played with her hair absently as a silence fell between us.

It seemed neither of us knew.

EPILOGUE

Sloan

W
E TOOK RED ROSES TO
B
OYD’S
grave. Ironic, I supposed.

I tried not to think about that, though. We needed closure. All of us did. Not just me and Aaron, but Ray and Mackenzie, too. And Darcy Perry came with us. She had a rose in her hand, too. She needed closure, like the rest of us. He’d hurt her too, even though I didn’t particularly like her.

It was a foggy morning. The kind of mornings that they always show on horror movies, before something bad happened. I prayed so hard that nothing bad happened today. This was a time to heal. This was a time to let go.

Truthfully, I hadn’t dreamed of Boyd since that day in Aaron’s living room. I guess I really had forgiven him and moved on. But I knew Aaron still had nightmares.

We wore black, and sort of viewed this as our funeral for Boyd, since none of us went to the real one. Between the fog and our clothes, the red of our roses stood out. It was almost like a picture book or a movie, except this was my real life. God sure had a strange sense of humor when he wrote it.

“Should we say something?” Mackenzie asked, holding Ray’s hand.

“We came all this way. Seems like somebody should.” Darcy answered, running her fingers over the stem of her rose. She was nervous. We all were, but the rest of us had someone to lean on. I took the opportunity to pray for Darcy. She might not have been the nicest person to me in high school, but she had changed, and she was trying to be better. She deserved happiness, as much as any of us did.

“Maybe the people who are having nightmares should say something.” Mackenzie offered helpfully. “Maybe they will find closure.”

I felt Aaron tense beside me, but he said nothing. Not one thing. It was Darcy who broke the stalemate. “Well, I suppose I should go first, then. I’ve had nightmares about that guy for weeks.” She walked up to his grave, her heels sliding in the mud. Maybe she should have worn boots like the rest of us, but that was Darcy. Fashion over function. “Boyd. It has been really hard to move on from what you did to me. You… it hurt me. And I know it will take a long time, before I can get over it. But it doesn’t bother you. You are dead, so what does it matter, right? So I have to think about myself, and I have to move on. So that’s what I’m doing… I’m moving on.”

She started to lay her rose on Boyd’s grave, then stood back up, walked to her left and placed it on Mr. Lawrence’s. “You deserve this much more than he does.” She blew a kiss toward Heaven and walked away, leaving just the four of us.

“Well… that was… different.” Mackenzie said, when Darcy was out of ear shot. “Guess I’ll go next.” She let go of Ray’s hand and made her way to Boyd’s grave. “You never hurt me. Not directly. You never came after me or left me any notes. You never hurt me physically in any way. But you hurt my friend. And you hurt my boyfriend, so that means you hurt me. Part of me wants you to rot in… but I know that is the wrong thing to say at a funeral. So this isn’t for you.” She placed the rose on his grave. “This is for me. Good-bye, Boyd Lawrence. I hope you get what you deserve in the afterlife.”

She made her way back to Ray and took his hand. “A little rough, maybe?” he asked.

“Depends on how you define rough.” Mackenzie said, not taking her eyes off her rose.

The fog rolled in more, and I wondered why we didn’t wait until later in the day to do this. Probably because we figured we’d all back out, if we did.

“I’ll go next.” Ray stepped forward and tossed his rose on Boyd’s grave. “I refuse to waste another minute thinking about you.” With that, he went back to Mackenzie and locked hands with her.

“Man of few words.” I tried to keep it light, but it was anything but.

It was down to me and Aaron, and he wasn’t moving. He just kept his eyes trained on Boyd’s grave and his hand tight on mine.

“I guess I’ll go.” I opened my hand and let his go, before I walked up to the grave, unsure what I was going to say. “Boyd…” I began and just decided to let everything flow. “Boyd, I used to love you so much. I thought I did, anyway. I would have done anything for you. And you—I can’t do this.” I wanted to run in the other direction, but I couldn’t. I had to get this off my chest. “You hurt me in more ways than I ever thought you would. But, like I’ve told you before, to hang on to that hate, wouldn’t hurt you at all. You’re dead. Nothing that happens in this life will bother you anymore. So I refuse to hang on to the pain and the anger I had toward you. I refuse to let you control my life and my fears, my dreams and my nightmares…” I said a lot of this for Aaron’s benefit. I hoped it helped him, in some way.