Safe (7 page)

Looking down at my hands on my desk, I needed to get my head on straight. Did I think she was hot?
Hell yeah!
Did I want to find out how she was in bed?
Hell yeah!
Did I think about her long ass legs wrapped around my waist?
Hell yeah!
Did I think that she was a screamer?
Hell yeah!
Did I want to find out for sure?
Hell yeah!
All that being said, was I going to … no.

“You go for it,” I said back to him.

“Nope. Lukas and I already talked about it, and we’re out. She’s yours.”

“What the fuck? I just told you I didn’t want her,” I said, slamming my hand on the desk.

“And that gesture right there tells me that we made the right decision. Good luck figuring it out.” With that, Renzo got up and left the office.

“Shit, shit, shit.” I needed to focus on something other than Sadie. I knew I would see her tonight. I would just have to stay away from her.

A loud knock at my door pulled me out of tear-infested thoughts. Quickly wiping my eyes with the back of my hand, I went and opened the door.

Lauryn, whose normally bubbly face was now somber, was standing there holding her hands in front of her.

“It’s okay,” I told her, feeling guilty that I made her uncomfortable in her own home. It’s not her fault I’m messed up. “You were joking around with him. I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry? No, I’m sorry. I know you won’t tell me what happened, and that’s okay. But by your reaction …” Her voice trailed off. “If you want to talk about it, I’m here.”

“Thanks. But I’m good.” No way am I ready to talk to anyone about Rob. It was bad enough that my mom knew the little that she did. I’d rather act like he never existed.

“Okay. What do you want to do today?”

“I’m gonna take it easy, maybe take a walk around outside.”

“I’m gonna run up to the store. Do you want to come?”

“No thanks. I’m gonna stay here, but can you get me some Diet Coke?” She nodded, and I reached in my bag for some cash, but knocked out several of my pill bottles instead.

“You take all that?” Lauryn asked.

I shifted, trying to pick up the meds quickly. I needed the damn things, but it made me nervous watching the expressions of people who see how many pills I took. I wasn’t an addict or anything like that. The chronic pain from incidents Rob had inflicted caused the pain to be severe enough to require the meds. Seeing Lauryn’s face made me feel like a freaking junkie.

Before I left, Mom, the miracle worker, made sure I had enough for six months. I didn’t know how she talked the doctors into giving her that much, but I was utterly grateful for it. Even though I now had a pharmacy attached to me.

“Yes, no worries. I’m fine.” What else could I say to her? They were to make my bones stronger because they’d gotten so weak over the years … or that my liver needed meds because it had taken one too many blows … nope not going there.

“Okay, I’ll get it for you and be back later.” Turning, she walked out the door. “Oh. We’re going out tonight. The Lady has a live band.”

“Okay.”

I was relieved that she let the meds go, but deep down I knew it wouldn’t be dropped.

I guess we were going out. Hope this went well.

“Would you get ready?” I heard Lauryn yelling through the door.

“I’m coming.”

Nervousness spilled through my body. Part of my mind knew I shouldn’t be, but the fear of the unknown caused the hot flashes and the sweating to begin. It wasn’t the place; it was the people. Most of which I was sure were perfectly fine, but there were those that sneaked past your defenses who were the scary ones. I was the one who let Rob in. I couldn’t let that happen again. My anxiety was getting the best of me.

I knew starting over would be hard, but I wasn’t prepared for the anxiety to kick in. I was utterly terrified that I would screw up again and allow someone in that was bad for me. I didn’t know if I was ready for this—ready to meet new people, ready to start over.

The reflection staring back at me seemed vacant, lost, and frightened, which was exactly how I felt, so at least they were in sync. I applied more than my usual eye makeup, trying to make myself look alive. I kept my hair natural and let it flow wavy down my back.

I chose to go simple on clothes, picking white shorts and my favorite royal blue wraparound top. The only thing left was my boots.

I applied my lip-gloss, grabbed my boots, and headed to find Lauryn.

“I’m ready,” I said to Lauryn’s back as she jumped.

“You scared me! Ah … Wow.” Lauryn’s eyes scanned my body. I didn’t think I looked bad or trashy.

“Do I look bad?” I heard the reluctance in my voice.

“Hmm … no. You look hot. You sure you’re not looking for a man?”

“Positive.”

“That outfit will have the guys a-flockin’.” Lauryn smiled.

“Flockin’? To me? No thanks. Should I change?”

“No. This is gonna be fun.” Lauryn turned and smirked. I didn’t know what she meant by fun, but she’d better not be feeding me to the wolves.

“You’re gonna stay with me tonight, right?” I needed some sort of reassurance.

“Of course. And I’m going to introduce you to Lainey, so one of us will be with you at all times.”

Recognition of the name hit—Landon’s sister. “Who else will be there?”

“The whole town.” Lauryn’s beaming smile did not ease my doubts, and she didn’t answer my real question there.

“Great,” I murmured under my breath. “What band are we seeing?”

“Landon’s. You know the guy from this morning, the one who kissed you so adorably on the hand.”

My face instantly flushed. Of course I remember his electrifying kiss. I rubbed the spot on my hand where his lips touched, lost in the memory of his lips.

“Landon’s in a band?”

“Yep. He plays guitar and sings. They just do covers for fun, but they are really good.”

My mind began to race. He runs a company, sings, and plays guitar. Interesting. No, not interesting. Stop it, Sadie.

“Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.” I hoped this night would go well.

The Lady was the only bar in town, so it was the place where everyone went to let loose. And boy, did she mean everyone.

When Lauryn told me we were going to a bar, I thought it would feature … well, a typical bar. Small building, stools, tables … nothing of what I just stepped into was what I had envisioned.

The huge, old red barn had exposed wooded beams, barn lights, and paneling on the walls that gave it a down home feel. Looking around, I saw a huge bar lined on one side made of the same paneling that lined the walls. Behind the bar were wooden shelves that held bottles and bottles of liquor with stools surrounding the front of it.

On the other side stood a huge stage covered in that same paneling with lights hanging from the ceiling. Above, on the back half, seemed to be some sort of loft suspended from the ceiling.

On the sides and back were tables, chairs, booths, and hay bales. Yes, freaking hay bales in a bar. I’d have to remind myself not to wear a short skirt, not that the shorts I had on were much better.

The place was packed. It looked as if every available spot was taken. Lauryn grabbed my arm, smiling at me. “Let’s go get something to drink.” I shook my head yes, barely hearing her over the music playing.

She led me over to the bar where a very handsome man turned his attention to us. “Hey Lauryn. What do ya need?”

Lauryn smiled, “Hey Ace. I need …” She paused and looked at me, waiting for me to respond.

“Draft beer.” I smiled.

“Make that two drafts,” she said, turning back to him.

“You got it. Who’s your friend?” Ace said, winking at me.

Inside I wanted to roll my eyes, but I kept myself in check. Don’t get me wrong, Ace was hot. I wasn’t blind. His white t-shirt clung very nicely to his upper body, and his jeans were not leaving much to the imagination. The hint of tattoos under his sleeves was very sexy.

I just wasn’t interested.

“My cousin, Sadie. She’s staying with me for a while.”

I smiled softly. I wasn’t going to be rude, especially to the first person I met tonight.

Ace held his hand out to me, and I reluctantly took it. “Nice to meet ya. I’m Ace. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Thanks.” I could feel that he wasn’t going to let go of my hand, so I pulled away first.

Grabbing our beer, Lauryn pulled my arm toward the tables. I could feel eyes everywhere looking at me. I plastered a smile on my face and kept following, hoping we could be somewhere out of view of everyone’s prying eyes.

I couldn’t be more wrong.

Trying to follow Lauryn through the mass of people was difficult, but I didn’t dare let her out of my sight. She began walking to a group of tables pushed together with several chairs right next to the stage. So much for being in the background.

The woman at the table had her back to us as we approached. “Lainey!” Lauryn yelled.

The moment she turned around, I felt my breath catch. She was absolutely stunning. Her long, dark hair fell like silk down her back. Her body was insane, curvy in all the right places. I was in utter awe of this woman.

“Lauryn, you’re here!” she yelled as she turned around. Her eyes landed on me, and I began to feel a bit self-conscious. There was no way I could compete with this woman. “You must be Sadie. I’m so glad to meet you.”

She reached her hand out, and I shook it. “Thanks, you’re Lauryn’s best friend?” I posed it as a question even though I knew the answer.

“Yep. I keep putting up with her.” She smirked, turning toward her.

“Shut up.” We took a seat, and instantly Lainey started with the questions.

“So, Sadie, why in the world would you want to move here?” Lainey’s voice almost sounded disgusted. This town couldn’t be that bad.

“I needed a change.”

“A change from what?”

“Life.” Wasn’t that the truth?

“I need a change from that, too, but that isn’t in the cards for me.” Lainey stared in the distance.

“Why not? You want a change, do it.” Listen to me. I didn’t dare say that my mom had to force me into it and that I fought her tooth and nail to stay … I’m a hypocrite.

“That’s easier said than done. My family’s here, and I have to stay.”

“You don’t wanna go anywhere. You just need to find the right man,” Lauryn said, leaning close to me. “See, Lainey here dated a guy, Joe.”

Lainey interrupted. “Don’t say that name,” she growled.

I looked at her in shock. Okay … moving on.

“Anyway, he was a jerk, ended up breaking her heart as soon as Kelli came into the picture, and then left.”

“Shut up. I don’t want to talk about it,” Lainey grumbled.

“You know you love me. Let’s get drunk and forget him. You can meet a new cowboy.” Lauryn smirked.

I smiled. I missed this. Macy and I acted this same way, knowing one another better than ourselves and sticking up for one another always. Sadness filled my heart. I missed her.

“I hear you met my brothers.”

“Yes. At the house. They were going over blueprints for the deck,” I replied.

“I hear that you didn’t fall at their feet.”