Safe as Houses (14 page)

Her eyes glide to the photos attached to the fridge with magnets. Lots of pictures of Mark and herself, moments from another life, when they'd only just met and she was still young and full of hope. Convinced of her attractiveness, sure of her power to get him, exclusively, for herself alone.

She opens the door of the microwave to check whether the meat has defrosted yet. She has always filled her cupboards and freezer with tins, bread and meat, to cut down on shopping trips. Given
Anouk's attacks of breathlessness, she'd done a huge shop on Saturday.

Perhaps it would have been better if the cupboards had been bare today. But Kreuger would probably have ordered in pizza. Or, more likely, they'd have lived on stale bread and leftovers.

The least she can do is to continue to take good care of herself and Anouk, to keep up her strength. She might desperately need it.

It is as though she has been sucked out of her normal life and spat out into another dimension. Over and over again, her troubled soul projects images in her mind, like a faulty video camera playing on a loop.

Lisa gets the meat from the microwave and puts it on a chopping board. Lean braising steak, or ‘stewed meat', as she always called it. It was her favourite dish as a child. She didn't have much of an appetite as an adolescent, but whenever her mother cooked stewed meat, Lisa would devour it. It was the first dish she learned to make when she left home, and she still found it delicious.

She puts the braising pan on the stove and adds a chunk of butter. When it has turned brown, she lays in the strips of beef. The meat singes with a hiss. A few cloves, a couple of bay leaves and chopped onion. A delicious smell drifts through the kitchen, the smell of the past, of her home. An
overwhelming feeling of homesickness comes over her. She forces herself to hum along to a song on the radio, but she can't stop her tears from adding themselves to the gravy.

Lisa spends another night in the basement with Anouk, but when Kreuger lets them out the next morning there's a change in his attitude. He stands there almost awkwardly, but doesn't go so far as to apologise. To Lisa's amazement he has laid the breakfast table, and the coffee is already brewed. She sits down wondering what will happen next.

Anouk can feel the change of atmosphere and gives her mother a questioning look. When Kreuger's attention is elsewhere, Lisa shrugs.

They eat without saying much, apart from a few comments about the warm weather. And then, completely out of the blue, Kreuger says, ‘If I asked you to go with me, what would you say?'

The question falls into the room like a stone breaking through a window-pane. Lisa looks up,
perplexed. The spoon she is using dangles in the air like an exclamation mark.

‘Go with you? Away from here, you mean?' she asks cautiously, as though his suggestion might have other meanings.

Kreuger takes a sip of coffee and nods. ‘Would you come?'

Lisa's brain works at top speed. She silences Anouk with a glance and answers as coolly as possible, ‘Who knows?'

Kreuger adds a second spoonful of sugar to his coffee and stirs it brusquely. ‘Or would you run away as soon as you got the chance?'

‘I haven't run away in the past two days.' Lisa forces herself to take a bite of bread, to chew it calmly and to swallow before she continues. ‘This is my house, and I consider you a guest here. It's true you forced yourself on us, but in the end we've got along quite well, don't you think? You promised me that you wouldn't harm us, and I took you at your word. Why would I run away?'

He studies her for a long time, but she continues to drink her coffee and to return his gaze. When the silence continues, she casually asks him where he might go.

‘I've got family in Germany,' Kreuger replies.

Lisa nods approvingly. ‘Germany is a big country.'

‘Even in a small country they can't find me,' Kreuger says with a grin.

Anouk looks from one of them to the other and sprinkles icing sugar on her rusk.

‘The police are looking for a man on his own, not a man with a woman and a child,' Lisa says. ‘We could take my car. We'd be over the border in a jiffy.'

She finds it difficult to hide her tension. She'd do anything to get him out of the house. Once outside, there would surely be a moment when she could try to escape. A sudden swing of the wheel and a minor traffic accident would be enough; or she could drop notes out of the car window, or shout for help at a petrol station. Enough possibilities.

‘Hmm, maybe it would be better just to stay here.' Kreuger empties his coffee cup with a few large gulps. ‘But I could do with your car.'

‘Take it,' Lisa offers. Hope darts through her: maybe he's thinking of leaving very soon. Who knows, perhaps this nightmare will be over right after breakfast. ‘I've still got a few of Mark's clothes. We could bleach your hair to make you unrecognisable.'

He gives her a brooding look. She takes a small mouthful of bread to gain some time. However hard she tries to swallow, it remains a sticky ball
in her mouth. Finally she washes it down with a large gulp of coffee. ‘You think I'll tell the police.'

‘I don't think it, I know it,' Kreuger says calmly.

‘Maybe you're wrong.'

‘But it's not a chance I can take. You must understand that?'

Her armpits begin to sweat and her hands feel clammy. What is he trying to tell her?

‘Once you've gone . . .' she says, carefully formulating her thoughts, ‘they wouldn't be able to catch you right away. If I went to the police, you could take revenge.'

‘That would be possible,' Kreuger confirms.

‘And if they never caught you, I'd spend the rest of my life being afraid. I don't fancy that. I just want to be able to leave the house again, to get on with my life. And I want to remember you as an unexpected guest I came to an agreement with.' She holds his gaze. ‘The agreement that I won't betray you.'

The silence between them is explosive.

‘Hmm,' Kreuger finally says. ‘But there's another possibility: I could just take Anouk with me.'

‘I've got more good news for you.' Dr Reynders enters Senta's room in high spirits. ‘I think we can release you tomorrow. You suffered a concussion when you hit your head on the steering wheel, but we don't need to keep you in for it. I was concerned about the risks of a lung infection, but it looks like you didn't swallow any water.'

A broad smile travels across Senta's face. ‘That's certainly good news.' Then relief is replaced by worry. ‘Has the risk of infection disappeared completely?'

‘I wouldn't let you leave otherwise. But I'll give you some antibiotics as a precaution, and paracetamol for your headache. How is that now, by the way?'

‘Not too bad,' Senta quickly reassures her. She isn't going to let a headache keep her in hospital.

‘Great. Just take things easy at first, that's my recommendation.' Dr Reynders gives Senta a warm look and carries on with her rounds.

When she's alone again, Senta takes a deep breath. Luckily she can go home. She is totally fed up with watching television and leafing through magazines. Which she takes as a good sign. If it's up to her, she'll resume normal life again as quickly as possible.

Her new mobile, a trendy pink model, is lying on her bed, shining at her seductively, but she hasn't yet gathered up the courage to use it. Yes, she called her father, who is in a nursing home. But she hasn't yet dialled that one number, the one constantly running through her head.

Senta looks at the phone in indecision.

Does Alexander know she's in hospital? It's possible. Frank had told the magazine about the accident and, given that the sound recordings from the interview have been lost, one of her colleagues should have let Alexander know that the article would be delayed.

Alexander . . . She'd like nothing better than for him to turn up and take her in his arms. But a small, barely identifiable change has taken place inside her, and it is making her hesitate before contacting him. If anything has become clear during the time she was unconscious, it is that Frank and
the children form the core of her existence. Knowing this, she should put an end to her relationship with Alexander, instead of indecisively staring at her new mobile. This is a good time to start again, to stop lying and deceiving, and to leave that nagging guilty feeling behind. But then she'd also have to say goodbye to something that gives her days a little more shine, that makes her blood quicken, and removes years from her age. She might have forgotten the accident, but she has held on to the amazing feeling she had on Monday after leaving Alexander's house and saved it in every cell of her body. She had no idea that he'd become so important to her. It's a disturbing thought that she's let things go too far.

Senta hesitantly reaches out her hand and picks up her mobile. Then she makes a decision and quickly taps in the number. Her heart skips a beat when she hears Alexander's deep, powerful voice.

‘It's me,' she says. ‘Senta.'

There's a short pause and then he says with surprise, ‘Senta, how nice of you to call.'

Nice of her to call? He should be delighted. In the background she hears the rattle of a printer and automatically asks whether it's a good time for him.

‘Fine, yes, not a problem. That's to say, I was busy, but I don't mind your calling. You know
that. I was just surprised that I didn't recognise the number.'

‘I've got a different phone. My old one got wet. I'm in hospital, Alex.'

‘In hospital? What happened?' he asks in a concerned tone.

‘I drove my car into a canal.'

Alexander inhales in shock on the other end of the line. ‘My God,' he says once he's recovered himself. ‘What happened?'

‘I can't remember. I must have hit my head on the wheel. I've got bruises on my forehead and concussion. But I can't remember how it happened, or how I got out of the car. I didn't swallow any water, so I must have come to after the impact and held my breath. If I'd remained unconscious, I'd have got water in my lungs. I know that at a certain point I was helped out of the car. Someone jumped into the water and pulled me to the surface. The car was at the bottom by then.'

‘My God,' Alexander repeats. He sounds deeply impressed. ‘Have you spoken to him or her?'

‘It was a man, and no, I haven't spoken to him. But I'm going to get in touch with him.'

‘It's a miracle you survived. Do you know when you can go home?'

‘Probably tomorrow. They're keeping me in today just to make sure I don't develop an infection.'

‘ARDS,' Alexander says knowledgeably. ‘That is indeed something to worry about.'

‘Apparently the chances aren't that great any more. So I'm allowed to go home.'

‘Are you allowed any visitors before then?'

‘Frank and the children are here as often as possible.'

There's a pause, then Alexander says gently, ‘If I could, I'd jump in the car right away and come to you. You know that, don't you?'

‘Yes . . .'

‘If there's anything I can do for you, just say.'

‘Think about me a lot. Cross your fingers that I don't get an infection.'

‘I'd do that anyway. And I always think about you a lot. I love you.'

Senta smiles, but then a nurse comes in and she jumps. ‘I've got to hang up.'

‘Take care. I'll call you.'

Lisa comes within a hair's breadth of letting her coffee cup slip through her hands. ‘No,' she says firmly. ‘Out of the question.'

It clearly amuses Kreuger that she thinks she's in a position to forbid him anything. His laugh resounds through the room.

Lisa remains resolute and continues to reason with him. ‘What would you do with a small child? She'll only make things difficult for you. She's ill, she'll cry, she'll attract attention. No, you'd be better off going on your own. I'll give you everything you need: my car, money, clothes, food, just name it. We can even drive to the bank; I've got quite a lot in my account.'

‘That's awfully kind of you,' Kreuger says with a deadpan expression. ‘Really awfully kind.'

Is he mocking her? Lisa picks uncertainly at her
placemat. She might be better off shutting up now, before she comes across as too anxious. She's made a suggestion, and every word she adds is one too many. If she could only work out what he's thinking.

Kreuger has laid his arms on the table and looks out of the window, sunk in thought. Lisa gets up without making a sound.

‘Mummy, can I play on the computer?' Anouk asks.

Lisa looks at Kreuger, and he nods.

Anouk jumps up from her chair happily and waits until Lisa has started up the computer. The machine quickly buzzes to life and connects with the outside world. Everything in Lisa is tensed. She takes plates, cutlery and glasses to the kitchen and sets them on the worktop. Then she opens the dishwasher, gets out yesterday's clean wash and puts it away. In the meantime, she listens tensely to the computer's sounds. She knows she can't just sit down and send an email. But Anouk knows how to open Outlook Express. Anouk could send an email; she writes to her father sometimes. Why hadn't she thought of that sooner?

Her head pounding, Lisa puts the breakfast things in the dishwasher. Can she risk asking her daughter to do something so dangerous? Or is he testing them?

She calms down immediately. Of course it's a test. Kreuger had children that age himself; he knows the computer skills that Anouk would have by now. Maybe he's waiting for her, Lisa, to make an attempt to send an email. If he leaves them alone in a minute's time, it will be because he wants to spy on them.

She gets up and closes the dishwasher. With a dustpan and brush, she clears the crumbs from the kitchen floor and throws them in the bin.