SafetyInNumbers-Final (22 page)

Despite having wasted a whole inch of water, Chris was pretty sure they would survive the drought and he wasn’t in much of a rush to see Owen get dressed. “I suppose we’ll have to shower first.”

“They’re big on water conservation down here in the Keys. Showering together would be the environmentally responsible thing to do.” Owen’s serious expression lasted about ten seconds before he started laughing. “Whaddya say, big guy?”

Chris stretched and climbed out of bed. When he realized Owen wasn’t moving, he turned to find him staring at his ass. “Come on, Mr. Environmentally Responsible, ogling my ass isn’t gonna save the planet.”

“I don’t know, it’s a really fine ass.” Owen jumped up when Chris reached for him and ran around him into the bathroom. Chris followed slowly, enjoying the show. They’d get to coffee and food eventually, but that little display had feeling rushing to certain parts of his body and he wouldn’t be very environmentally conscious if he let it go to waste.

Chapter 18

Billy

“I’m sorry to drag you into this before you even got your bags unpacked.” Billy grimaced at Chris and Owen across the table. “They refuse to see me for years and now they are insisting it be tonight. Don’t they know people make plans for the holiday?”

When his brother called to request the meeting, Billy had been elated. Three days of wondering and worrying about why they wanted to meet now, after refusing so many times before, had killed his nerves. Was this an olive branch or a final goodbye? Liam kept insisting it was a good sign, that they were on their way to making amends, but he couldn’t find the same confidence and didn’t like the timing. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to have his family back. He just wanted it to be for the right reasons.

Owen reached across the table and patted his hand. “You have to stop apologizing. We’re family and we’re stronger together than we’ll ever be apart. Plans or no plans, day or night. Now stop stressing, it’s going to be fine. Right, Liam?”

“I think so, but he’s had three days to work up a good panic, so it’s like talking to a wall.” Liam nudged against him and grinned. “With as much distraction sex as we had this weekend, I can’t believe I’m offering this, but do you want to go into the bathroom for a quickie?”

Liam’s determination to distract him had turned into the sex marathons to end all sex marathons. They even had the other people in the house banging on their door to beg for a reprieve from all the noise. Liam thought that was too funny not to exploit and became even louder. Their friends may not have appreciated his efforts, but Billy was so grateful to have a man who understood his fears and made it his mission to alleviate them. “I can’t believe I’m gonna turn you down, but I’d rather not smell of sex when my mother sits at the table.”

“Thank god, my ass is killing me.” Liam slumped in relief. Billy looked over at him in disbelief and Liam laughed. “It was a joke! You’re so getting laid after this.”

“Seriously.” Chris threw a roll across the table. “We really don’t need the details.”

Liam just threw it back and said, “Fine, but Billy needs something else to focus on, so tell us what you two crazy kids did in the Keys.”

Chris and Owen shared a secret smile, which was all the distraction Billy needed. These three men knew all of his secrets and sins, and had accepted him as one of their own. Owen was right—they were a family and they were stronger together. Seeing that smile was all the evidence he needed to know that Chris and Owen had worked things out, and that only strengthened their little family.

Whatever his mother and brother wanted to say to him tonight, they couldn’t take this away from him and if they wanted to be part of it, it wasn’t going to be as easy as they thought. He didn’t want them back out of some gratitude for helping Timmy. He wanted them back because they loved him. He’d made mistakes, he’d paid for them, and he been trying his hardest to be a man they could be proud of. If they couldn’t love him, he would be okay because of the three men who’d stood by his side.

“Is that them?” Liam whispered.

Billy stood as he spotted his mother and brother making their way through the restaurant, and was reminded that time marched on whether he wanted it to or not. Robbie was no longer a chubby teen and he’d grown into a fine looking young man. His mom had aged well, but then she always took pride in her appearance. He remembered her as a strong woman who weathered two divorces that left her the single mother of three rambunctious boys. She had tried her hardest to raise them right, had stood by him when he got in trouble the first time and the second, and had only caved when it became obvious he wasn’t going to change. That was on him for sure, but he had eventually changed and he hoped she was strong enough to see it.

“Billy.” Robbie’s tone matched the caution in his eyes, but thankfully it lacked the attitude of their last conversation. Billy wanted to believe that was a good sign, but he didn’t want to fall into the trap of reading more into it than it was. “It’s good to see you.”

“Robb…Robert.” The name thing was still stupid, but he didn’t want to get them started on the wrong foot. “You’re all grown up.”

“It had to happen sometime.” Ah, there was the attitude. Robbie looked back at their mother and gestured her forward. “Sorry if we’re late. The bridge was up.”

“You’re not.” Billy wasn’t sure if they were or weren’t and didn’t think it mattered. They were all here now, weren’t they? “Mom.”

His mother looked at him in silence for a long moment and Billy wondered what she saw. Was she still seeing the spiteful teen who couldn’t stay out of trouble or did she see the man he’d grown into? “You look just like your father.”

His father had done right by him with child support and regular visits until he was killed in a boating accident, and he cherished their relationship. His mother hadn’t been as forgiving of his cheating ways, so he knew she didn’t mean it as a compliment. “Why don’t we sit?”

Instead of taking her seat, his mom looked at the others with a disapproving frown. “I thought this was going to be a family dinner?”

“It is.” Billy sat, refusing to let her judgmental tone get to him. How could she judge, much less disapprove, of three men she didn’t know? Was he so bad that his friends were instantly guilty just by association to him? “Sit and let me introduce you to my family.”

It was mean, he knew it as he said it, but he hated feeling defensive. The little look of reproach she gave him was only amplified in the glare his brother treated him to as they took their chairs, but he wasn’t sorry. If they wanted to treat him like shit, that was fine as long as they didn’t spread it to Liam, Chris or Owen.

Carol settled stiffly in the chair to his left and said, “Tim told us you brought a man along when you visited him.”

“Yes, my partner. Liam, this is my brother Robb…Robert and my mother, Carol Mason.” Liam smiled at each of them, but Billy could see the strain on his face. His partner wasn’t very subtle, especially when he was angry, and right now he was very angry by the cold, formal way his family was treating him. “That’s Liam’s brother Chris and his partner Owen.”

Chris was the only one to offer his hand across the table and when his mom just looked at it, Billy saw red. Before he could admonish her for being rude, Chris leaned in and said, “It’s a pretty sure bet that we’re going to be in-laws and family is important to us. I don’t think you’d be here if you didn’t feel the same way.”

The cool, formal façade cracked a little and Carol put her much smaller hand in Chris’s. “I do believe in family, but it’s been a long time since I’ve seen my son and we weren’t expecting any of you.” She glanced over at Billy quickly, just enough for him to see the worry beneath the armor he’d gotten used to, and admitted, “And I’m a little nervous. I hope we can start again.”

He could have reminded her that he’d been begging to see her and that it was her refusal, not his, that had kept them apart long after he was released, but her words took the fight out of him. Billy supposed some people would see that admission as a good sign, but all he heard was that his mother was afraid to meet him. How was he supposed to fix that?

“From what I hear, Billy’s been pretty nervous himself, so you’re in good company.” Chris met his glare without flinching. The last thing he wanted to do was show weakness and he resented Chris for stripping away the only defense he had.

“I think we’ve both been fools long enough.” Carol hesitantly touched his arm, just a quick stroke, but it was enough to level him. He agreed. He just prayed that she meant it.

Owen cleared his throat, bringing all eyes to him, and asked Carol, “I’m sorry, but we have met before, haven’t we? Not formally, but three weeks ago you ran into me coming out of the deli by the garage.”

“Why would you be by my work?” His mother knew where he worked and lived, had all of his contact information, though she never used it. There was no way she could pretend not to know how close that deli was to his job. Bull’s Garage was the most prominent business on the block. Would she have really come so close and still not reached out?

“That’s my fault,” Robbie said. “You kept telling mom how much better things are and all these changes you were making, and she wanted to believe you. We all wanted to believe you, but we didn’t want her to get hurt again if it wasn’t true. So Tim and I were sort of watching you.”

“I see.” They were protecting their mother, something Billy understood completely. Of course, they would never believe him capable of doing the same, so he kept that to himself. “That’s how you knew to call me at the bike shop.” It was the only explanation that made sense and he was curious if they saw what they needed to see. “How long?”

“About a year.”

“A year,” Billy repeated. Not a few days or a few weeks or even a few months, but a whole fucking year. It was too long. If they hadn’t seen something good in him in a year, then they were only face to face now because Tim needed help, not because they wanted him in their lives. How foolish could he be? He’d fallen for another promise of something that wasn’t real, and he foolishly dragged Liam and the others into this sham of a dinner, giving them a ringside seat to his humiliation.

“If this is simply a thank you for getting Tim a better lawyer, it’s unnecessary and a waste of all of our time. In fact, it would be completely misplaced because I didn’t call Kieran for Tim, Owen did. So—” Billy trailed off. He really didn’t know what else to say, honestly. Goodbye, good luck, don’t call me again? To his mother? “Tim will be fine. Kieran will make sure of it.”

“Billy, we are grateful for the help but no, that’s not why we’re here.” Carol nervously toyed with her napkin, and he hated that she was afraid of him. “Please, this is very hard on me…”

“I know, Mom.” He should be apologizing, but he apologized every time he talked to her and it never worked. There was no reason to think it would now. “We should just…”

“Please don’t leave.” Carol grabbed his hand before he could stand and begged, “Just hear me out, okay? Then if you want to leave, I won’t stop you.”

That pleading was worse than the cold formality and the nervous gestures. Why couldn’t he inspire something good in his mother? Why couldn’t he refuse her and give them all a break? “Okay.”

“Thank you.” She continued to hold onto his hand, or maybe he was just so desperate for her touch that he was the one holding on, and tried to smile. “I never thought you were a bad son or even a bad person, you just did some bad things. I know that’s not the impression I gave and that was wrong of me, but you made me feel like I was a bad mother. I tried to raise you boys right and I was doing it on my own, but you kept choosing that gang over us. No matter what I did or how much I begged, they were more important to you than we were. I felt helpless every time you went to jail, like I was failing you. It was taking everything I had physically and emotionally, as well as financial resources we didn’t have to fight legal battles we had no chance of winning. I finally had to admit that no matter what I tried to do to save you, it wasn’t going to be enough and that I had two young, impressionable sons who still needed me. I never stopped loving you, Billy, never stopped praying that you would find your way out, but you didn’t want my help and they needed it.”

Billy understood all of that, he really did, and he could never apologize enough for putting his mother through that pain. He also didn’t blame her for putting her focus on his younger brothers, because he had chosen the gang life over them repeatedly. “I’m sorry for all of that, I really am, but if you’ve been watching me for a year then you know I’m not that guy anymore. Yet none of you reached out until Tim needed help. Was it really too late?”

“Tim and I got worried that you’d be pissed off that we were watching you. Had we approached you after the first or second time, it might have been okay, but after that it just felt like we were invading your privacy,” Robbie admitted. “We kept agreeing that the next time would be the time we reached out, but we never got up the courage. Don’t be mad at Mom. She actually didn’t know until that day your friend saw her. She found some pictures…shit, now I sound like a stalker...but yeah, she found some pictures and demanded an explanation.”

Billy couldn’t even process the idea that they had taken pictures of him and who knows who else in the garage. Couldn’t even imagine the reaction if Saul found out.

“I see that stubbornness is a family trait,” Liam said softly. “No matter what, Billy isn’t going to turn his back on you and no matter how it appears, he never did. I didn’t know him back then, but I do know that gang life is about survival and once you’re in, it’s not so easy to get out. Do you think they would have hesitated to hurt any of you to get him to do what they wanted? No, not for a second, and Billy knew that. The first time he got involved was a mistake. Everything after that was a matter of staying alive long enough to find his way out.”