Salvation (The Protectors, Book 2) (11 page)

Ronan

“What the hell do you mean, he locked you out?” I snarled at Hawke who was casually leaning against the side of his car.

“It means he locked all the doors-”

“Fuck off,” I snapped, cutting an amused Hawke off. He was checking something on his phone and I wanted more than anything to rip it out of his hand and throw it across the driveway but I knew better. As relaxed and laid back as Hawke looked, I knew it was just an illusion because in reality, he was brutally lethal and pissing him off for any reason was something only a man with a death wish would do.

I forced myself to step away from him and began pacing the small portion of the driveway on the outside of the heavy iron gate that hadn’t opened when I’d punched the code into the keypad. Bullet was sitting on the other side, his big tail thumping heavily against the ground as he whined. I put my hand through the bars to give him a pat and then he dropped to the ground and watched me in solemn silence. Like he was wondering how I’d ended up on the wrong side of the fence.

“What happened?” I finally managed to ask in a steady voice.

Hawke glanced up at me and then stopped fiddling with his phone and tucked it into his pocket before crossing his arms. Michael Hawkins wasn’t a huge guy but something about the way he carried himself always made him seem bigger than he was. He stood an inch or two shorter than me but there was nothing average about him. Despite the cool weather, he was wearing a black T-shirt that stretched across his broad chest and did nothing to hide his bulging biceps, both of which were covered in tattoos. Even though he’d long ago left the army, he kept his hair in the traditional buzz cut the military favored. His flinty blue eyes watched me as I tried to use constant movement to work out my growing frustration – it was a behavior I’d long ago managed to curb but had struggled with more and more in the past few weeks. Of all the men in my employ, Hawke was the only one I would ever allow to see me like this…because he’d seen me even worse.

“He came downstairs a few hours after you left. I told him you asked me to keep an eye on things for a bit.”

“What did he say?” I interrupted. God, I sounded like a high school girl pumping her best friend for information.

“Not much. He made himself a cup of coffee, refilled mine and then asked me to leave when I was finished. I told him that that wasn’t an option.”

“Did you tell him I texted him about why I had to leave?”

Hawke tilted his head at me. “Yeah. That went over real well, by the way. A fucking text, Ronan? Jesus, what are you, twelve?”

I ground my teeth together in frustration because I didn’t have a reasonable comeback for the jab. I’d taken the coward’s way out from the moment I’d released Seth from the restraints. I’d barely managed to do the right thing by cleaning him up and getting him settled under the comforter before the desperate need to run had overtaken me.

I’d made a terrible mistake in fucking Seth. Shit, that word didn’t even fit what we’d done. We’d made love, pure and simple. I’d been selfish in taking what he should have given to someone more deserving. Because I had no doubt that Seth could have his pick of strong, giving, loving men as soon as he started putting himself out there…as soon as he realized the truth about what I’d become and let me go.

But worse than being selfish, I’d been foolish too. Foolish in thinking that in tying Seth up with my belt, that he wouldn’t be able to touch me. Because everything Seth did touched me. Every look, every smile, every emotion filled kiss he’d given me, the way his body had cradled mine. That was why I’d run. Being with Seth had been the fuck up of fuck ups and I knew it would happen again the second he looked at me with that longing gaze that had me wishing I could be what he needed.

I’d left three days ago and I hadn’t been man enough to even call Seth once. I’d taken his virginity – an act that had been incredibly emotional for him if his tears had been anything to go by – and I’d disappeared just like I had three years earlier.

“You followed him, right?” I asked as I turned to face Hawke.

He nodded. “He stayed in his room Saturday and Sunday. Yesterday and today he went to work, the house on Mercer Island, and home – that’s it.”

I turned back to stare at the gate. Seth’s message couldn’t be any clearer. Even in the three years after I’d walked away from him after he’d kissed me, he’d never changed the codes on the gate or the doors.

Because he’d hoped I would come back…because he would have accepted me back.

“You take care of things on your end?” Hawke asked.

“What?” I asked in confusion as I glanced over my shoulder at him.

“The girl...” he said.

“Daisy,” I supplied. “Yeah, she’s onboard.”

When I’d called Hawke in the early morning hours after I’d made love to Seth, I’d told him I needed him to watch Seth so I could fly to Ohio to recruit a potential new tech guy…well, girl in this case. Daisy Washburne was a twenty-year-old hacker who’d spent the last several years trying to track down the men who’d raped and murdered her mother. And while she’d managed to find the men and use her extensive talents to ruin them financially and personally, they’d sought their own form of vengeance. I’d been lucky enough to come across the notes Benny had collected regarding the chatter between the two men as they’d searched for someone to find Daisy and take her out. I’d managed to stop the hit in time while Hawke had taken care of the men who’d killed Daisy’s mother.

I hadn’t considered offering Daisy a position in the organization because I’d learned my lesson with Mace Calhoun. As wounded and damaged as Daisy was, I didn’t want to exploit her talents for my own gain; not if it meant deepening her wounds instead of healing them. But somehow she’d found me, though I still had no idea how she’d done it and she refused to say. I could only assume she’d found something in the men’s emails that led to the Deep Web where they’d recruited the hit man and subsequently been tagged by Benny’s algorithm.

In any case, I’d gotten an email a few weeks later asking to meet. I’d agreed but more out of curiosity than anything else. But the meeting had quickly turned into a pitch of sorts – as in, she was pitching herself to me. I’d resisted but it wasn’t her surprisingly vast knowledge of me and the group I’d set up to protect people like her that had me relenting. It was the unfettered desperation in her voice, the frantic need for something more than just the closure the deaths of her mother’s murderers had brought her. It was a look I knew all too well. I’d finally told her I’d think about it. I’d spent the last two days researching what Daisy’s life had become after the loss of her mother and her quest for vengeance and when I’d realized I could give her the piece that was missing from her life, I’d gone back to Ohio to offer her the job. I hadn’t held anything back when I’d told her in detail what she was signing up for and I’d watched her carefully for any sign of hesitation. All I’d seen was a fierce determination along with a look of hope so strong, that I’d had no reservations about giving her instructions on how to meet up with Mav so he could show her the ropes.

And not once in all that time had I reached out to Seth. And unlike the last time I’d left him, Seth didn’t contact me.

“I really fucked this up,” I whispered more to myself than to Hawke.

“Yeah,” I heard Hawke say from somewhere behind me.

I hadn’t told Hawke I’d slept with Seth but from the inflection in his voice, I suspected he had already figured it out. “How’d you know?”

“The look on his face when he walked into the kitchen and saw me sitting there instead of you. Revay used to get that look when she found out I was only home for a day or two between missions.”

“He’s never been very good at hiding what he’s feeling,” I mused, my eyes still on the heavy iron gate in front me.

“Maybe,” Hawke said quietly. “Or maybe you’ve just gotten too good at it.”

I glanced over my shoulder at the man behind me. It was on the tip of my tongue to remind Hawke that I’d had a good teacher but I kept silent. He wasn’t saying anything that wasn’t true and just because I felt the need to physically lash out at someone didn’t mean I should. And least of all a man I knew wouldn’t hesitate to knock me on my ass…and was also the closest thing I had to a friend these days.

While I’d undergone basic training as part of joining the army, it was Hawke who’d shown me what fighting for my life really meant. Before Hawke, I could manage to fire a weapon at a target and perform a few self-defense moves, but it wasn’t until after he’d spent the better part of a year showing me the many ways I could take a man’s life, whether it be with a gun, a knife or just my hands, that I’d actually felt some of the power and control that had been stolen me from the night of Trace’s death come back to me. In reality, they were things I’d never really had and now I couldn’t imagine a life without them. Even if I somehow found the courage to pick up a scalpel again, I’d be more inclined to think about how to take a life with it rather than save one.

My thoughts drifted back to Seth and I could actually see his expression as he walked into his kitchen, his body sore but sated. He would have been nervous to see me but he would have been excited too. Even not knowing where we stood, he wouldn’t have been able to keep the emotion out of his gaze as he watched me with hopeful eyes…hopeful that I’d draw him into my arms and tell him how fucking amazing the night before had been. Hopeful that I would have closed my mouth over his and shown him that everything had changed between us.

Everything
had
changed. Just not in the way Seth wanted. Not in the way I wanted, either.

“You mind checking the perimeter?” I asked as I gave Hawke a quick glance.

He studied me for a long moment but didn’t say anything. He merely brushed past me and reached up to pull himself over the short wall that bordered the front of the property. Bullet took off after Hawke as he began walking towards the side of the house so he could check out the back of the property. I left my car where it was and followed Hawke over the wall. Bullet came running back to give me a cursory greeting and then he was chasing after Hawke again.

I didn’t bother going to the front door when I reached the house since I doubted Seth would answer it. As I walked around the back of the house, I saw Hawke and Bullet disappearing into the tree line to the right of the house.

Once I reached the patio, I passed by the study door but stopped when I saw Seth sitting at his father’s desk. I rapped my knuckles on the door and felt instantly bad when I saw Seth jump in his chair. His eyes fell almost immediately when he recovered but I didn’t miss the message when he turned his attention back to his computer.

“Seth,” I said loudly enough so I was sure he’d hear me. “I’ll break it down.”

I saw Seth’s jaw harden and I hated to admit how it turned me on. As much as I loved when Seth was willing and pliant in my arms, I loved this side of him too. It was a reminder that he wasn’t some innocent, naïve kid. My Seth had a gentle soul but a backbone made of steel.

Fuck.
My
Seth? He wasn’t my anything.

To my surprise, and my traitorous body’s excitement, Seth ignored me. I didn’t bother with another warning because I was too keyed up as it was. I needed to get us back to where we’d been before I’d made the mistake of touching him. Reaching under my jacket, I pulled one of my Glocks free from the shoulder holster and prepared to knock out the glass panel closest to the deadbolt when the sound of a gunshot ripped through the air. It was off in the distance but close enough to have come from Seth’s property. Concern rushed through me and I grabbed my phone and hit the speed dial for Hawke.

“What was that?” Seth asked as he tore the door open. “Was that a gunshot?”

“Go back inside,” I ordered as Hawke’s voicemail picked up.

“Ronan-”

“Seth, go back inside!” I demanded. “Lock the door and don’t come out until I come back.”

I didn’t wait to see if Seth did as I said because I was already striding across the back yard. Within seconds, I heard footsteps behind me and I was about to turn and order Seth to go back when I saw movement by the tree line. A second later, Hawke cleared the vegetation and as relived as I was to see that he appeared to be unharmed, my stomach fell when I saw what he had in his arms.

“Bullet?” Seth whispered from behind me. “No-” he suddenly cried out and then he was running past me. It was easy to catch up to him before he reached Hawke but I didn’t grab Seth’s arm to pull him away from his dog because I saw Bullet move his head slightly.

“What happened?” I asked Hawke.

Hawke shook his head. “I didn’t see the shooter. The dog heard something and took off. Then he started barking and a second later came the shot. He’s bleeding pretty bad, Ronan,” Hawke said quietly, though with Seth right there, he had to have heard it.

“Give him to me,” I said as I took the dog from him. “Can you move my car from in front of the gate?”

Hawke nodded after giving Seth a quick glance. “I’ll stay here and check things out,” Hawke murmured. “Keys?”

“In it,” I said, though my eyes were on Seth who’d gone deathly quiet and seemed frozen in place. All the color had drained from his face as he stared at his dog who was dead weight in my arms.