Sara's Soul (18 page)

“Yeah. She told me she wanted me to have her ring,” Sara said.

“Somehow she knew I was planning to ask you to marry me. When I woke up this morning, the ring was on the nightstand beside my bed. I knew I had to propose to you today. But when I got to your house, you weren’t there. I got a really bad feeling. Then I saw a vision of the beach and you standing there at the water’s edge. I raced to get here as soon as I could. I saw you go under, but couldn’t find you for a few minutes. I thought I’d lost you, but then I remembered what your mother said.”

“What did she say?” Sara asked.

“With love, anything is possible.”

“She said the same thing to me.”

“Well, I guess she was right,” Chip said, smiling. “I concentrated on my love for you, and it drew me to the exact spot where you had gone under. I dove down into the water and swam you up to the surface.”

“Love is what brought me back to you, too,” Sara said. “It whisked my spirit right back into my body. It was amazing how powerful my feelings were.”

“Does that mean you’re planning to stick around?” Chip asked teasingly.

“There’s nothing I want more,” she said.

“Now let’s go home,” Chip said. “We’ve got a lot of living to do.”

***

              That night Sara slept peacefully next to Chip. It was the first time in many years that her mind was clear and at ease. Her brush with death had somehow transformed her. She knew she would never look at life or death in quite the same way again.

She awoke to a brilliant white light next to her bedside. Its radiance filled her with warmth and love, and she could hardly believe how happy she was. Just hours earlier, she had almost carried out her plans to kill herself. She was right there on the threshold between life and death. But she had discovered that there really was no death after all, just a new existence. She had sought to end her suffering, to escape this life that had troubled her so much. To her surprise, there really was no escape. Sure, she could have ended her life on Earth, only to find that more suffering awaited as she watched her one true love, Chip, mourn losing her.

Sara was thankful that Chip had arrived in time, and that she had decided love was more important than anything in the universe. And now, she was very much alive on Earth and happily engaged to the man of her dreams. Somehow that didn’t seem possible. It was like she was watching someone else’s life. Love was just that powerful. Its ability to transform, to bring light where there was once darkness, was absolutely miraculous and uplifting.

As Sara peered through the darkness, she spotted something incredible outside her window in the night sky. It was her special blue star, the one she had discovered as a child. She had believed back then that it was there to guide her. Maybe it really was.

The mysterious white light by her bedside flickered with joy, and she was embraced by a strong but delicate loving presence. The whole room smelled of lilacs, and Sara’s mind flashed back to her childhood home and visions of her and her mother gazing at the stars and rejoicing in nature’s beauty. She remembered how they would carefully cut bouquets of fragrant pale-lavender lilacs and place them in vases to fill their home with the glorious scent. She recalled twirling in circles, the sunlight glistening in her hair. She wore a pale yellow and white cotton eyelet dress and white sandals, and she breathed in the wonderful fragrance that filled her heart with happiness. She was that little girl again, so joyful, so full of life, so alive, and so free.

For the first time since childhood, Sara believed that anything was possible and that love really could conquer all. She also believed in God, angels, the afterlife, and reunions with deceased loved ones. She had a knowing that had left her long ago, a feeling that no matter what, everything really is all right. She felt connected to all that is, and she was no longer afraid. Whatever her future held, she could get through it now. And she never had to feel alone again, because she was always surrounded by love, even when she was too blocked to sense it.

“You’ve learned so much,” her mother said proudly, appearing before her from within the dazzling light.

“Yes, I have,” Sara agreed.

“Remember that day my urn fell off the fireplace?”

“How could I forget?”

“And remember what I told you?”

“That I would come to know the truth one day, that I would meet
him
,” Sara answered.

“And now do you believe me?”

Sara’s eyes filled with tears as she reached out to hug her mother. No words were needed. Their energy filled them both with love and understanding.

“I have one question, though,” Sara said, her eyes squinting.

“Of course,” her mother replied. “You want to know if the visions of death will stop, if you will no longer experience other people’s pain, right?”

“Yes,” Sara said, tossing in her bed. She had forgotten that her mother was not only psychic, but also now a spirit who could communicate telepathically.

“No, Sara,” her mother said. “The visions won’t stop, and you will still be able to feel other people’s emotions. You are both a psychic and an empath.”

Sara felt her heart sink. The familiar sensation of fear returned. How would she cope with the pain, the grief? Chip’s love would help, of course, and her mother would be there to guide her. But would that be enough?

“The difference is that you will now know what to do with it all,” her mother continued. “Your visions will continue, but they will be transformed. It will no longer be just about the suffering, but what you can do to alleviate that suffering. Sure, you will feel the pain, but you will also be able to channel it into something positive, something healing.”

“How?” Sara questioned. “How will I do that?”

“Trust your instincts. Trust your heart. They will never steer you wrong,” her mother said, smiling.

“Okay,” Sara said with hesitation. She still didn’t know how she was going to transform anything, but she did trust her mom.

“You have a great mission to achieve, my love,” Star said assuredly. “You and Chip were brought together for a reason. That reason will soon become clear. So live your life knowing that everything is unfolding exactly as it is meant to.”

“I wish I shared your confidence,” Sara said.

“You’ve been hurt. You’ve suffered a lot. No one can expect you to feel confident overnight. Each day that passes will bring you strength. Little by little, you will leave your fear, your apprehension, and your pain behind. I love you, Sara. I will see you again soon.”

“Thank you.” Sara smiled. “I love you, too, Mom.”

Little did Sara know, her survival was about much more than being with Chip and helping others. A plan had been laid out long before she was born, and she was soon to fulfill an important part of her destiny.

CHAPTER 16

BOONE’S DILEMMA

Boone knew the moment he met Sara at the park that she was the one he had seen in his dream. She was a real-life superhero, someone who could rescue people and make everything okay. And, as long as he was able to reach her in time, she would indeed save his father.

Now, as Boone lay in bed, he got the sense that the time was very near. He could feel the sensations building deep in his chest—a warm tingling combined with an energetic pull. This was followed by a numb, floating sensation that reminded him of how a superhero transforms from a regular person into a powerful force. As a small child, he didn’t fully understand what it all meant and called the unusual feelings “comings.” It seemed to fit well, because when he noticed them, something was always coming. His suspicions were confirmed when he spied a glowing white light flickering through his bedside window. His Superman curtains lit up like Kryptonite, and he suddenly felt someone in the room with him.

“I know,” said Boone, reading the visitor’s mind. “Daddy needs help.”

A beautiful figure stood at Boone’s bedside, encouraging the little boy to continue to trust his intuition and let it guide him. The woman had silvery blonde hair and sparkling green eyes. She wore a pretty, layered blue chiffon dress. She told Boone that her name was Elisha and that she was his great-grandmother and guardian angel. Boone felt safe and comfortable with her, and he trusted her completely even though he had never met her. His parents had always taught him not to talk to strangers, but she was no stranger. He listened intently to what she had to say, certain that she would help him.

“You know what to do, Boone,” she said.

“I do?”

“Yes. I want you to think for a minute. Remember your vision, your dream?”

Boone paused as he thought about what had happened in his dream. “I have to find her soon, don’t I?”

“Yes, sweetie.” Elisha nodded in approval.

“But how do I do that?”

“It’s probably easier to find him first,” she offered. She gently patted his floppy brown hair.

“But where do I find him?”

“You can start by asking if anyone knows of someone who can help your dad. When you find him, you’ll find her, too.”

“Okay,” Boone agreed. “I’ll ask my teacher. She knows lots of people.”

“Good idea,” Elisha said, patting his head.

Boone noticed that his great-grandma was wearing yellow ribbons in her hair. He’d had a dream about yellow ribbons once. He knew they had something to do with saving people.

“I like your well-woh ribbons,” he said.

“Thank you, Boone. Would you like one?”

“Sure.”

Elisha took one out of her hair and gave it to him. “Yellow ribbons are special,” she said.

“Cause they save people?”

“Well, you’re on the right track. The ribbons themselves don’t save people. They’re a symbol.”

“What’s a symbol?”

“A symbol is something that stands for something else. You’re a little young to understand this now.”

“No, I’m not. I git it. A well-woh ribbon tells us to save people.”

“Sort of.”

“See, I’m not too young. I’m four years old now. I go to preschool. And I’m real smart, too.”

“Yes, you are, Boone. Now get some sleep. You have an important day ahead of you tomorrow.”

Elisha gently kissed him on the forehead and pulled the covers up around his shoulders. Then she vanished in a silvery mist of sparkles. Boone slept peacefully after that. At least for a little while.

Before long, the sounds of his father’s painful sobs awoke Boone with a start.
The house smells like that stuff Daddy drinks out of a bottle
, he thought. Boone quickly jumped out of his bed and raced through the house to be by his dad’s side. He knew his father needed him more than ever now.

It was still dark outside, and most of the lights in the house were off. A slight glow from the yellowing table lamp in the living room let Boone know where his dad was. As he entered the room, he spotted him with his face buried in his hands. Assorted empty bottles lined the oak coffee table, and there were several ashtrays with cigarette butts in them.
Daddy has some very bad habits,
Boone thought.
Mommy said so before she left.
But now it had gotten worse.

“What’s wrong, Daddy?”

“Go back to bed, Boone,” Max croaked, his words sounding funny and run together. “Daddy doesn’t want you to see me like this.”

“Like what?” Boone asked, scratching his head.

Max rose from the worn, brown tweed couch and gathered the empty bottles. Boone watched as he stumbled to the kitchen and almost fell twice. He was very worried about his dad and followed him like a puppy dog to make sure he was okay.

“Sad. Tired. Upset,” his father answered finally while splashing cold water on his face from the kitchen sink.

“Why are you sad? Do you miss Mommy?”

His dad looked back at him like a deer that had run out in front of a car. He looked scared, alone, and very sad. Boone could feel the sadness building inside of himself as well. His tummy fluttered as if filled with butterflies when he thought about how his mother had left them. And he didn’t even know why. He knew she had been sick. He knew that she couldn’t do the things she did before. Boone remembered the doctor saying it was no one’s fault, that she had something that made her mind not work right. He loved her so much. He wished he could have his mom back. But he knew that he and his dad could still be okay without her. If only he could help his father believe.

“Of course I miss her,” Max replied. “I love your mom very much. But she had to go away. And now I’ve lost my job. Soon we’ll lose our house, too. Everything is a mess, Boone. I’m a mess. I’m so sorry. I never meant to let you down, son.”

Max collapsed into a chair at the kitchen table. He looked very tired. “Don’t worry, Daddy,” Boone said. He gave his father a big bear hug. “An angel will save you.”

“Oh Boone,” his father said. “Not even angels can help me.”

“Of course they can,” Boone protested. “Even Grandma Elisha thinks so. She’s an angel, you know.”

Max looked surprised, and more awake now. “How do you know about Grandma Elisha?” he asked with a puzzled look on his face. “She was my grandmother. She’s been in Heaven a long time now. She died long before you were born. You never even met her.”

“Yes, I did,” Boone said happily. “She visited me last night. She’s so pretty. Silver hair and green eyes. Pretty smile. I love that grandma.”

Boone watched his father’s face turn white and his eyes become serious. Then Max fell right out of his chair onto the floor.

“Daddy! Daddy! Are you okay?”

But he didn’t respond. Boone knew that the stuff his father drank sometimes made him fall asleep. But he also knew that something he said about Grandma Elisha had bothered him. He just didn’t know what. But it didn’t matter; he had to get his dad to wake up.

Boone quickly pulled himself up on the kitchen counter and grabbed a blue cup from the cupboard. He turned on the sink and filled the cup with cold water. Then he climbed back down and splashed it into his father’s face, yelling, “Daddy, Daddy! Please wake up!”

He was relieved when it worked. His father opened his eyes and looked right at him.

“I’ll be with Grandma Elisha soon,” he said seriously. “I want you to know how much I love you, Boone, and that I’ll always miss you.”

“Don’t be silly, Daddy,” Boone said. “You’re not going anywhere.”

“I’m afraid I am, Boone,” Max said quietly. “There’s no other way. You deserve a better life… a life I can no longer give you.”

Boone didn’t like how his father was talking. It made him feel scared. He had to do something—and fast. He was running out of time. If he didn’t find that woman soon, he thought, his dream might not come true after all. Boone knew that dreams were just a look at what
could
happen, not a guarantee. He knew that sometimes, people got in the way. And without a doubt, his father was getting in his own way.

“I need you to take me to school soon,” Boone said, changing the subject.

“Sorry, bud, I can’t,” Max replied. “Daddy’s in no condition to drive. I’ll call Aunt Lydia. She’ll take you. Now go get ready while I clean up a bit more.”

“Okay,” Boone agreed.

***

Boone’s teacher, Mrs. Garrett, cheerfully greeted the preschool students who entered her brightly decorated classroom. Twelve smiling faces bounced through the door and found their places on the colorful alphabet carpet. They chattered among themselves and sat cross-legged, eagerly waiting for story time.

Boone was the only one who wasn’t so happy today. He had more important things on his mind than ABCs and 123s. He had to find her so she could save his father.

Once everyone was settled, Mrs. Garrett shut the door. Boone sprang from his spot on the carpet and rushed over to her. She looked troubled, probably because of the urgent look on the little boy’s face.

“I need your help,” he whispered into her ear.

She ushered him over to her cluttered desk and motioned for him to sit down. “What’s wrong, Boone?” she asked sweetly.

“Daddy’s not good,” he said quietly, so the other kids wouldn’t hear. “He’s crying a lot and talking about leaving to join Grandma Elisha. She’s dead, you know. I don’t want Daddy to die, too. ’Cause then, who would take care of me?”

“Oh,” said Mrs. Garrett, frowning, her eyes growing wide. “You’re right, Boone. That’s not good. This is a very serious situation.”

“Yesss, it is ser-i-ous,” he agreed. “Daddy’s very sad. I need a phone number. Someone who can help. Someone who helps people with plob-lems.”

Mrs. Garrett shot Boone a worried look and opened her desk drawer. “I know just the person,” she said. “His name is Dr. Chip. He will be able to help your father.”

She pulled out a small card with a phone number on it. “Go put this in your backpack so you don’t lose it. Have your aunt or another responsible adult help you make the call after school today, okay?”

“Okay.”

Boone nodded and sighed. He felt a little bit better now; that fluttery feeling in his stomach was starting to go away. He knew that this person his teacher told him about was the same Chip he had met at the park. After all, there weren’t many Chips around.
Except the yummy kind I like to eat for snack
, he thought. Boone was sure this little card would lead him to her—to sweet, kind Sara, the lady in his dream. Now all he had to do was make the call.

CHAPTER 17

Saving him

Several months had passed since Sara’s last suicide attempt. She had been attending therapy to help resolve her feelings of depression, anger, and guilt. The visions of death still came, but she was better equipped to deal with them. Instead of being overwhelmed by her emotions, she learned to channel her energy into a more positive purpose. She seemed to have a lot of visions not just of death, but of other people’s suicide plans. She understood them well and, in some cases, was able to help talk people out of killing themselves by sharing her own story of once being suicidal.

Chip had completed his PhD in psychology and had thrived in the short time he had been out of school. He had a natural knack for helping people and had even been contemplating opening up a private practice.

He and Sara were sitting together at the kitchen table, munching on fresh strawberries and antipasto and discussing their wedding plans, when Chip’s cell phone rang. “Hello?” Chip answered.

“Hi,” said a young boy’s voice. “Is this Dr. Chip?”

“Yes?”

“Can I talk to Sara, please?”

“Sure. Who’s calling?”

“It’s Boone,” he answered. “You know. From the park. I saw your fish.”

“For you, Sara,” Chip said, handing her the phone. “It’s Boone.”

A chill ran through Sara’s body as she took the phone.
Boone? The little boy from Herrick Recreation Area? Why was he calling her?

“Boone, sweetie? What’s wrong? How did you get this number?”

“It’s my dad,” he said hurriedly. “Something’s wrong. I asked my teacher for help. She told me ’bout some guy named Dr. Chip. Said he helps people. She gave me this number. I knew it was the Chip from the park. And then I ’membered you. You’re supposed to save my dad.”