SAVAGE LOVE (A Back Down Devil MC Romance Novel) (18 page)

“
Sleep
tight.
”

Miller turned his head and put his
arm over his face again. He didn
’
t
even bother to tuck his dick away and zip up his jeans.

The entire thing turned Ella on.

Back in bed -
in Miller
’
s bed
- she shut her
eyes and tried to fall asleep.

She dreamt of Miller. Holding tight
to his leather cut, savoring the freedom of the road. She dreamt of she,
Miller, and Beck, sitting in a park, having a picnic. The family she really
wanted. The family that should have been.

In the dream, she stared at Miller,
falling in love. Well, still in love because she never fell out of love with
him.

Reaching for Miller
’
s face, there was an explosion.

Then blood.

Then bullets.

And everyone was dead.

sixteen.

Miller opened the bedroom door and
carried a tray of food to the bed. He couldn
’
t
believe he was awake so damn early. He also couldn
’
t believe the kid was still damn sleeping. He
looked down at the crib and the little guy was on his back, head to the side.
For some reason Miller swore he remembered something about babies not supposed
to be sleeping on their backs. Something bad could happen. He quickly put the
tray of food and coffee on the bed and reached down into the crib. Gently, he
put his hand to Beck
’
s
little belly and waited. Mind over matter, for a second, he had himself
convinced the little guy wasn
’
t
breathing.

But then Beck
’
s belly lifted and lowered. Over
and over, just like he was supposed to be doing.

Breathing normal. Normal and
healthy.

Miller put his hands to the crib.
“
Dammit, kid. Don
’
t do that to me. I don
’
t know how to handle this part
of it all.
”

Miller turned and set his sights on
Ella. He moved along the side of the bed. He put his fingers to the covers and
felt Ella
’
s body. He made a
straight line up along her leg, hip, arm, and shoulder. As he crouched, he
moved hair out of her face.

Ella
’
s
eyes slowly opened.

“
Morning,
darling,
”
Miller whispered.

“
Morning,
”
Ella said and smiled.

“
How
do you feel?
”
he asked.

“
Good.
I
’
m fine. How about you?
”

“
I
’
m built for the life, Ella. A
night of drinking ain
’
t
going to take me down.
”

“
I
think my middle of the night event helped.
”

“
It
sure as fuck helped me,
”
Miller said.

Christ, he couldn
’
t stop thinking about her
sucking him. The way she just went for it. Waking up to a beautiful woman
between his legs was one thing; that shit happened all the time. But to wake up
with
his woman
between his legs, that was something else. Watching her
take care of him, the feel of those lips wrapped so tight around his shaft, and
then the beautiful rush of his orgasm
…

Miller let out a breath.

He was getting hard again.

“
Brought
you some breakfast,
”
Miller
said and nodded to the tray on the other side of the bed.
“
Careful you don
’
t spill anything.
”

“
You
didn
’
t have to do that,
”
Ella said.

“
I
know. I would have gotten the kid something to eat but he
’
s
…
uh
…”

Miller nodded to Ella
’
s chest and grinned.

“
Yeah,
about that. The ladies bought me a pump. So there
’
s
milk in your fridge.
”

“
I
heard about that. That prospect must have felt strange buying that.
”

“
Oh
well,
”
Ella said.
“
It was nice to be able to have a
drink or two.
”

“
Well,
tonight, same thing.
”

“
What?
”

Miller leaned in and kissed Ella
’
s cheek.
“
I want you to be ready. I
’
m taking you out on a date. Just you and me,
darling. We
’
ll have a couple
drinks, talk, and come back here. Alone.
”

“
Oh,
Miller. I don
’
t get to be
alone.
”

Miller let the tip of his nose
touch Ella
’
s.
“
You trust the women, right?
”

“
I
guess.
”

“
Then
let them take care of Beck tonight. Everything will be fine. I
’
ll have the clubhouse and the
room guarded.
”

“
I
don
’
t know.
”

Miller grazed his lips to Ella
’
s.
“
Think about it.
”

“
Okay.
”

They kissed. Miller touched Ella
’
s face and pulled at her,
wanting more. So he fucking took more. He opened his mouth and kissed her
harder. The feel of her soft tongue meeting his, taking control of a perfect
warm kiss, that
’
s what made
all the bullshit worth it.

Miller pushed Ella back against the
bed, sliding himself a little more onto the bed. He wanted her. Fuck all the
rules. Fuck what was right and wrong and all the bullshit stuck in between.
Miller was now following not only his body, but his heart.

Stroking Ella
’
s hair, he kept kissing her. His
right hand touched her side and inched down, finding the bottom of her shirt.
He couldn
’
t help but touch
her warm, soft skin. Fingertips trailing up under her shirt, Miller
’
s hand cupped her supple breast.
Ella
’
s nipple became erect,
sliding against the palm of his hand. He brought his fingers together and
gently pulled at her, feeling Ella move, tasting her sigh as she broke the kiss
and put her head back, thrusting her chest at him.

“
Fuck,
”
Miller whispered.

He kissed down her neck as his hand
moved from her breast and started to pull up her shirt. He then held her shirt
up, staring down at a beautiful set of breasts. They were thick and creamy,
deep pink nipples, delicious.

With the tip of his tongue, Miller
tasted Ella
’
s left nipple.
He flickered at her, making her sigh again. His lips tightened around her
nipple, gently suckling for a few seconds. Then his mouth opened more, sliding
over her entire breast, tasting her perfect skin. He sucked a little hard,
feeling Ella pushing at him. Slowly as Miller pulled back, he let his teeth
graze her nipple. Ella twisted and groaned.

Miller pulled away.
“
I can
’
t fucking do this, darling. I need you all the
time.
”

Ella dug a hand into his hair.
“
Take it all, Miller. It
’
s all for you. Fuck, please.
”

Miller brought his hand down and
cupped Ella
’
s breast again.
He squeezed her nipple with his thumb and pointer, watching with marvel as
liquid formed and leaked from her.

“
Shit,
sorry,
”
Ella whispered.
“
I can
’
t help
…”

“
No,
”
Miller said.
“
It
’
s
fucking beautiful.
”

Miller squeezed again, watching her
body work. That deep maternal instinct was so sexy. It drove Miller wild,
making him harder than ever. He turned his body and made sure Ella could feel
him. He then kissed her again, hard, deep, fast.

It was a quick kiss as he pulled
away.
“
I
’
m going to fuck you senseless.
Nothing can stop me.
”

Ella opened her mouth and nodded.

Miller put his other hand to her
lower belly, sliding into her pajama bottoms. The tips of his fingers started
to feel smooth, wet skin
…

And then there was a sound. A
goo
sound. Follow by a little scream.

Miller turned his head and couldn
’
t believe his eyes.

The kid was awake.

Beck was standing in his damn crib.
His big, brown eyes still coming to life, a morning smile, making all kinds of
noises.

“
Oh,
shit,
”
Ella whispered.

“
Busted,
”
Miller said.

“
I
’
m so sorry, Miller. That
’
s why I
…”

Miller slid off Ella. He pulled her
shirt down and rubbed his thumb against her chin.
“
No worries, darling.
”

Miller turned and walked to the
crib. To his shock Beck reached for him. Miller lifted the baby up and stared
at him. Beck went right for the scruff on Miller
’
s
face again.

“
Don
’
t worry, kid,
”
Miller said,
“
you keep eating and you
’
ll have your own beard soon
enough.
”
Beck let out a
whine and started slapping at Miller. 
“
Oh,
you like to fight, huh?
”

“
He
’
s hungry,
”
Ella said.

Miller turned, holding Beck close
to his chest.
“
Can I?
”

“
You
want to feed Beck?
”

“
Sure,
”
Miller said.
“
You said you had some in the
fridge, right?
”

“
Well,
yeah. I probably shouldn
’
t
breastfeed him until the afternoon. Just to be safe. I was kind of a bad mother
last night.
”

“
You
’
re never a bad mother,
”
Miller said.
“
Ever.
”

Miller sat on the edge of the bed.
Ella prepared a bottle of breast milk for Beck and handed it to Miller.

This was definitely a first for
Miller.

“
Just
rest Beck in your arm and offer him the nipple.
”

“
You
going to do that to me later?
”
Miller asked.

Ella put a hand to Miller
’
s shoulder.
“
Depends on how nice the
restaurant is.
”

“
So
that
’
s a yes for our date?
”

“
Just
feed the baby.
”

Miller offered Beck the bottle. The
little guy latched right on and went to town. His little hands clutched at
Miller
’
s fingers, pulling,
making sure Miller wasn
’
t
going to move the bottle.

Ella still had her hand on Miller
’
s shoulder.

The entire thing strangely felt
good. It felt right. Like it was all meant to be this way.

“
You
’
re a natural,
”
Ella said.

“
No.
He
’
s just hungry.
”

Miller stared at Beck.

Could have been mine. Easily. If
I hadn
’
t gone
on that fucking run that night.

The more Miller thought about that
all those years ago he wondered if it hadn
’
t
been set up to fail. The mission that should have killed Miller. It ended up
being the mission that put him in line to become the President. Then again, he
lost Ella.

Miller looked up at Ella.

Never again.

“
I
want you to know you can trust everyone in this club,
”
Miller said.
“
Even
Trev. He
’
s wild. He
’
s an asshole. But he
’
ll die for us. And Blaine
…
I
’
m
sorry what happened with him. He just can
’
t
get enough of it all.
”

“
I
noticed that,
”
Ella said.
“
He
’
s
weird.
”

“
He
’
s a good man though. Probably as
close to me as Griffin
…”

Miller looked at Beck again. Crazy
how life worked. A table guy getting killed. A baby coming to the clubhouse.
Somewhere in all that, there was meaning and purpose.

“
Miller,
Mia told me some stuff,
”
Ella said.
“
Her uncle and
Jerry
…
um
…
did Jerry have anything to do
with
…”

“
With
what?
”
Miller asked.

“
With
Griffin?
”

Beck popped the bottle from his
mouth.

“
He
’
s done,
”
Miller said.

“
No.
He needs to be burped.
”

“
What
do I do? Smack him in the back?
”

“
Yeah.
But
…
not hurt him
…”

“
I
’
d never hurt Beck,
”
Miller said. He held Beck out
and said,
“
This guy is my
new friend. Right?
”

Beck smiled and then hiccuped. A
stream of spit up came out of his mouth and hit Miller
’
s shirt and jeans.

“
Oh,
damn!
”
Ella yelled.
“
I
’
m
so sorry!
”