Saved by Sweet Alien Box Set (18 page)

Here I am again.  At the bottom of the cliff, looking at the
red lighthouse, and then the sea.  They look so familiar. 

But everything else has changed drastically.  There is no
white house, no Josh’s house. 
Nothing.
  Instead, there is a whole
neighborhood, with streets stretching all the way to the beach.

I walk along the street, trying to pin point where our houses
were.  I know it’s impossible but I keep trying and trying…

Finally, I give up.  I feel so tired and empty. 

That’s it?  Yeah,
that. is. it.

You can't step in the same river twice.
  Yeah,
Heraclitus is so right, yet so wrong.  He should have kept this sad fact deep
in his own heart.  Don’t you think so?

Alaska, that’s where your home is, Judy. 
Now you
have a home to go back to, right?  I try to cheer myself up.  Right. 
But… I
thought I found another home… where my love existed.  It’s now so close, yet so
far away.

Bye, Block Island.  Thank you for still being here…
I
drag my feet to the beach.  I see the ferry coming.  Maybe I can catch the next
ferry back to my hotel.

I turn around and take a final look.  Houses.  Too many
houses.  I move my head slowly and stop at the lighthouse.  There, the
lighthouse seems to be painted but nothing much has been changed.

I walk uphill along the slope.  The grass is so soft.   I
look and see where Josh and I had kissed.  I walk over and look at the spot.  I
lie down and whisper, “Josh, I’m here.  Where are you now?”  I smell the soil,
the grass, and the wetness of the air.  But… the smell of his body is missing. 
So is his smile.

I sit up and look far, far into the sea.  Hundreds, no,
thousands, of seagulls are circling in the sky.  Suddenly, they all dive down. 
They must have found a big group of fish at the water’s surface.  These poor
fish might have been attacked from beneath by a large group of sharks.  Why are
their lives so desperate when those of the seagulls are so enjoyable?   

Further down the horizon, there are numerous sailboats and
big ships.  People on the sailboats must be having a good time.  Is it love, or
friendship, or just fun?  It doesn’t matter. What matters is everyone is going
home happily tonight. And life will be going on tomorrow.

The sea merges with the sky in the remote horizon.  Had we
been there?  Is Josh still there? 
How are you doing, Josh?  Do you know I’m
missing you?

“Hurry up, Muffin.” 
What? Muffin?
 I jump up and
look down.  “Muffin…” A girl calls again, waving to a big dog at the bottom of
the hill. 

The dog runs up, puffing.  He runs all the way to the girl,
stops for a short moment, wiggling his tail.  He looks up and sees me.  He
begins to run to me, lightning fast.

I’m so excited but a bit scared.  Is he
the
Muffin? 
No, that can’t be.  Our Muffin was black with white hair, but this Muffin is a beautiful
Golden Retriever with brown and yellow hair all over.  In addition, Muffin was
a very old by that time.  He must have passed away long ago.

“Muffin, come back.”  The girl calls, struggling to run up. 
“Muffin…” 

Muffin stops in front of me.  He sniffs very hard, then
circles me quickly. 

“Muffin…” the girl gasps.  “Sorry, ma’am, Muffin is going
crazy today but he won’t bite.”  Her cheeks are all red.

“Don’t worry.  I’m not afraid of dogs.”  I smile.  In fact,
Muffin gets so close to me so quickly, I’m a bit scared.

“Muffin, be good.” the girl says with a stern voice.  “Sit
down.”  she orders.

Muffin sits right at my feet, wiggling his tail non-stop. 

“Sorry, ma’am,” The girl smiles.  “By the way, I’m Fara.”

“Nice to meet you, Fara.  I’m Judy.”  I extend my hand.

“Nice to meet you, Judy,” Fara shakes hand with me.  “I
don’t think you live nearby.”  She smiles.

“I used to.” I smile.  “Right down the street.”

“Really?”  Fara is a bit surprised.  “That’s where I live. 
When did you move?”

“Ummm… actually, I never moved.”  I don’t know how to
explain. 

“So…, you left home for school or work and never came back?” 
She’s a bit puzzled.

“Right, never come back.”  I smile.  “You have a nice
doggie.  Why do you name him Muffin?”

“Ummm…” Fara thinks really hard.  “Sorry, I don’t know.” she
says finally.

“I use to have a doggie called Muffin, too.”  I look at
Muffin.  He is wagging his tail very hard.

“Really?”  Fara gets excited.  “A Golden Retriever, too?”

“Unfortunately, no.” I shake my head.  “Can I play with
Muffin?”

The girl thinks for a short moment and then smiles.  “Sure,
why not?  I’ve never seen him attack anyone.  He seems like you.”

“Thank you so much, Fara,” I say softly.  I bend down. 
“Muffin, can you please give me your paw?” I raise my hand.

Muffin raises his paw.  Before I can hold the paw, Muffin
scratches my palm lightly, and then put the paw on my palm.

I get so excited.  This is exactly how our Muffin behaved. 
I try once more.  He does the same to me.  I turn and look at Fara.  She seems
puzzled.  “Weird,” she says. “Muffin never scratches my hand.”

She bends down and says, “Muffin, give me paw.”  Muffin
looks at me.  “Muffin, please give Fara the paw.”  I smile.

He puts his paw on Fara’s palm right away.  “See, he didn’t
scratch.” Fara looks at Muffin.

“Can we try again?” I ask.

“I don’t think we have to,” Fara stands up.  “See how weird
it is.  Now he is getting closer to you than me.”  I can hear a tiny bit of
jealousy in her voice.

“I guess Muffin is super nice to visitors.”  I try to make
Fara feel comfortable.

“No,” she says right away. “He barks,” She grins.  “Sorry.”

I look at Muffin.  I can see something special in his eyes. 
The closeness and warmth.  The trust.  Did our Muffin come back as this
beautiful Golden Retriever?  My body is warm all over. 
“Fara,” I take a deep breath to calm down.  “Do you by any chance know a girl
called Stacy?”

“Stacy?  Yeah, why?”  She looks at me, tilting her head. 

I’m so thrilled. 
Is she my Josh coming back to this
world?  I’m sad Josh is now a girl, but at least I can see him alive again.
 

“My bestie,” Fara mumbles.  “And a few other girls are all
Stacy.  What’s her last name?”

My heart drops all the way into the bottom of the Arctic Ocean. 
I bite my lower lip hard to hide my disappointment. 

“You can’t remember her last name?”  Fara asks.

I open my mouth, trying to keep my voice stable. 
“Hartnett.  Stacy Hartnett.”

“Heart… net?”  She thinks for a long time.  “Sorry.”  She
smiles, shaking her head.  “I don’t know.”

My heart is dead.  Seriously.  I see a Muffin, which is
probably my Muffin coming alive again.  But the owner is a girl, who has no
clue about me in the past life at all.

But I can’t blame her.  Maybe I’m wrong about Muffin, too. 
Maybe that’s only my own imagination that makes me think this Muffin is the
rebirth of that Muffin.  
Judy, cheer up and be real.

I look at Muffin.  He looks at me and then closes his eyes. 
I sit down and hold his cheeks with both hands.  He seems so relaxed.  I run my
hand over the top of his head.  Then I scratch the back of his ears lightly. 

Muffin rolls to one side and raises his foreleg.  I scratch
his armpit and then his belly. 

My eyes are full of tears.  I have done this with my Muffin
a million times.  This is exactly what we went through every time. 

“Odd, this is odd.”  Fara mumbles.  “Is this your doggie or
mine?” 

“Fara,” I look at her.  “This was how I had fun with my Muffin.”

“Really?”  Her eyes are wide and round.  “How could that be
possible?”

I feel the urge to try it again.  Maybe this girl is my Josh
alive.  If I don’t give it a try, I’m going to feel sorry for the rest of my
life.
“Fara,” I try so hard to calm down.  I think hard to find proper words.  “Do
you sail?”

“Sail?” Fara looks at me like I’m from another world.  “You
mean sailing a boat?”  she asks.  “Isn’t that more for guys?”

Silly, Judy.  Sailboats are more for guys.  You know
that. 

I smiles as nicely as I can.  “Fara, thanks so much for your
time.  It’s great to meet you.”  I look down. “And play with Muffin, too.”

“You’re so welcome, Judy.”  Fara smiles.  “Hey, Judy, how
about having a coffee or some tea at my home?  We have good homemade cake, too.”

Yeah, coffee, tea, and homemade cake.  They are all my
favorites.  But now, everything here makes me think of Josh. I’m sure the
moment I’m in the house, my tears are going to pour down.  Josh and I had
shared so many intimate and romantic moments together in this neighborhood.  It
doesn’t matter whether Fara’s house was my family’s, or Josh’s, or someone
else’s, the memory will definitely come back.  And that will be full of
sadness.

“Thank you so much, Fara,” I look at her. “Unfortunately, I
have to leave now.”

“Are you coming back again?”  Fara looks at me.

I shake my head.  After a long while, I mumble, “Probably
not.”

“Bye, Judy, take care…”  Fara hugs me.

“Bye, Fara,” I hug her.  Then I turn to Muffin. “Muffin, I’ll
miss you.”

Muffin wags his tail, puffing.

I walk quickly downhill, trying to hold back my tears.  “Bye,
Judy.”  I hear Fara calling.  I turn around and wave to her… and my Muffin. 

It. Is. Over.
 Judy.

There is a long lineup at the ferry dock.  Large trucks and
cars are moving slowly onto the ferry. 

The breeze is wet and warm.  I feel the saltiness, too.  This
is my first time at a beach, but everything feels so familiar.  When I was
little in my past life, Mom and Dad would bring me to the same dock, waiting
for the ferry.  It was always so exciting because the ferry means a nice trip
to Rhode Island or Long Island, New York, where I could eat everything I want. 
And everything is
so yummy
.

The ferry is much bigger now.  It goes much faster, too. 
This morning, it took only about an hour to get here from Rhode Island.  By the
time my family was traveling, the time was almost double.

Are my mom and dad alive again?

I don’t know if having the memory of my past life is a good
thing.  Maybe not.  See, I come back to look for my love, I don’t get anything. 
Now I begin to miss my mom and dad. 

Is there a way to wipe out my memory?

People begin to move slowly.  Then the line splits into
two.  It’s now moving much faster. 
Great service.
 

I look around.  There is only one guy behind me.  He smiles,
looking friendly. “First time here?”

I don’t know if I should say
yes
or
no
. 
Finally, I decide to make it simple. “Right, first time.  How about you?”

“I live here.”  He smiles.  “But I’m going to New York for a
few days.”

“That must be fun.”  I grin.

“Sure to be.” He grins.

The chatting goes on pretty well.  I move slowly along the
line.

“Excuse me, ma’am?”  I hear a man’s voice.  I turn back. No
one is in front of me.  I pass him my ticket.

He punches a hole on my ticket and passes it back to me. “Enjoy
your trip.”  He smiles.

“Thanks.”  I smile.  I turn around and look at the
lighthouse. “Bye, Block Island.”  I whisper with all my heart.  I turn back and
walk quickly.  I feel so eager to go back to my hotel and then fly back to
Alaska.  I want to leave everything about Block Island behind me, as fast as I
can.

“Stop.  Stop that…”  I hear the yelling and turn around.  I
see a big dog running toward me.  “Muffin.”  I walk quickly toward him. 

Muffin jumps at me.  I hold his cheeks, “Muffin, thank you
for coming to say goodbye.”  I try to smile but my tears almost run out.

“Excuse me, ma’am. We have to remove this dog from the ferry
immediately.”  The man’s voice is cold.

“Muffin, let’s go.”  I lead the way.  Muffin follows.  Soon,
we are back on shore. 

The man follows.  “Ma’am, can you please hurry.  We need to
leave now.”

“Sure, I’m coming,” I smile at the man.  “B-y-e, Muffin.”  I
bend down to give Muffin a hug.  Then I turn around to walk back to the ferry.

“Judy,” I hear a girl’s voice.  I turn around and see Fara. 
She is running my way.  “Judy, I forgot something.”  Judy bends down and gasps,
trying to catch her breath.

“Ma’am, are you coming with us?” The man looks at me. 
“Sorry, we have to leave now.”

I think for a moment.  “Sorry, I have to stay.”  I smile.

“Okay, give me your ticket.”  He smiles.

I pass him the ticket.  He pulls out a pen from his pocket
and writes quickly.  Then he passes back the ticket and then smiles, “You can
use this ticket later.”

“Thank you so much, sir.” I smile.

“You’re so welcome.”  He smiles again.

“So… what’s up?” I ask Fara.

“Sorry, Judy.  I forgot to tell you, my brother sails.”

“Really?”  I get so excited.  “What’s his name?”

“Scott.”

“Oh.”  I know my question was silly.  Now I’m Judy but
previously I was Stacy.  The name won’t mean anything.

“So… how about we go and see him?”  Fara asks. 

“Sure.  Can we please?”  I try so hard to calm down.

We walk on the beach.  Soon, I see many surfers.

“See, he is over there,” Fara points at a young man on a
surfing board.  He is riding on a huge wave.  Suddenly, the wave rolls over and
crashes down.  He disappears.  “Is he okay?” I’m so worried.

Fara smiles, “Don’t worry, Judy.  He is a very good surfer.” 
She smiles.  After a short moment, she points. “See, he is there.”  Yup, he appears
again, still standing on the board.

“S-c-o-t-t, c-o-m-e b-a-c-k.”  Fara calls.
Muffin barks very loud.

Scott comes closer and closer.  Finally, he steps off his
surf board.  He looks at us and waves.

Scott runs to us.  “What’s up?”  He smiles, breathing
heavily.   Solid muscles move with his breaths.  He wears swim trunks but
nothing else.  His whole body is well tanned all over. 

“Scott, this is Judy, my new friend.”  Fara smiles.  “Judy,
this is my brother, Scott.”

“Nice to meet you, Scott,” I extend my hand.

“Nice to meet you, Judy,” Scott shakes hands with me.

 “So…” Fara smiles.  “Hey, Judy, what’s your question
again?”