Saving Alexander (19 page)

“Are these cigarette burns?” Sage softly stroked his stomach where there were ten deep circular holes where Rudy had burnt him. Alex’s face flushed with shame and he nodded tightly. Sage bent forward, his breath warm against Alex’s stomach as he kissed each one of the marks, small fluttering kisses that made Alex’s heart ache. Sage’s hands caressed his hip gently and then he looked up at him, his eyes questioning in the dim light.

“And this?” He touched the deep, two-inch-long slash on Alex’s right hip bone, puckered and still sensitive after all this time.

“A hunting knife. He got drunk one night and wanted something to do.” Alex’s voice was a whisper. He heard Sage’s deep indrawn breath as he leaned down and kissed it, trailing his mouth along his scar with reverence. Alex could hardly breathe. No one had ever touched it before let alone kissed it.

“Turn over on your side. Let me see your back.”

It was an order from his lover and Alex obeyed wordlessly, hearing Sage’s sharp breath on seeing the four long parallel scars on his shoulder blade and the small circular marks of yet more cigarette burns and careless knife slashes across his back and buttocks.

“Hell, Alex,” Sage said, his voice raw with pain. “The man was a fucking animal.”

Sage caressed the scars slowly with his fingers and his warm mouth kissed them one by one. He spent time on the ridges on Alex’s shoulder, running his warm, wet mouth down each one. Alex’s whole being was filled with such indescribable joy at this acceptance of his past that he was breathless with it. His eyes filled with tears, as he wept hot, salty tears silently into the pillow, tasting them in his mouth. Sage’s worried voice echoed in the heaviness of the air in the room which was soaked with feeling and sheer emotion.

“Alex, are you okay? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry…”

Alex nodded his head, turning over and wrapping his arms around Sage’s neck, burying his face in Sage’s shoulder. Sage held him, stroking his back as Alex cried, years of pent-up fury, guilt and shame exposed as well as an awe of this man who was the first outside of Eric to see the badges of pain and courage that he bore from one of the worst periods of his life. Eventually all that he had left inside were soft hiccups as he stopped crying, trying to catch his breath.

Sage waited as Alex sniffled, finally pulling away from him. His lover got up and padded naked into the bathroom, returning with a wad of tissues, handing it to him, lying back on the bed as Alex blew his nose and wiped his face.

“Are you all right now?” Sage asked softly.

Alex nodded, feeling embarrassed. “Jesus, I’m so sorry, Sage. I’m like some silly bloody teenage girl whose date just dumped her.”

Sage reached out, pulling Alex into his arms, his warm hands caressing his cheek as he snuggled in. “God, Alex,” he murmured. “You’d have thought you were the hunchback of Notre Dame the way you carried on. Instead, there’s just this sexy, gorgeous man with a few scars. The rest of you was perfect from what I could see. And feel.”

Alex smiled softly. “You are the most amazing man I’ve ever met. I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

Sage chuckled. “I didn’t have a choice, did I? There I was with my shirt off and there you were all over me like a bloody hungry octopus, all greedy hands and lips. Not that I’m complaining, mind you.”

Alex stared into Sage’s eyes intently. “No one else has ever seen me like this before. This is the second time you’ve liberated me. Thank you.”

Sage pulled him into his arms, holding Alex tight against his chest. “You’re welcome.” He sighed. “I suppose I should try and get in that shower now and then we can go see Miles if that’s okay with you? Then if you like, you either come back here or I’ll take you home. I think I asked you if you’ve ever been on a bike before, but I don’t recall getting an answer in all the excitement of being assaulted.” He grinned.

Alex chuckled, his heart feeling lighter than it had in years. “Yes, I’ve been on a bike, even rode one myself for a while. Not as sexy as that beast you have outside, though.”

Sage stood up, looking at him with a glint in his eyes. “As we’ve come this far, do you want join me in the shower? Or is that too much too soon? I promise to behave myself.”

Alex considered his offer. The bathroom was fairly dim. “Can you leave the light off when you shower? I’d feel more comfortable that way.”

Sage nodded. “I’m sure I can find the soap by touch and feel—as well as anything else that takes my fancy.”

“You said you’d behave.” Alex grinned as he got off the bed and they walked together into the bathroom.

Chapter 18

Sage and Alex arrived back at the hospital around midday. Sage grinned as Alex got off the back of his bike. The man had held so tightly to him on the way over he’d thought he’d had a boa constrictor round his waist. It hadn’t been fear but sheer possessiveness. Alex took off the helmet, unzipping the leathers Sage had given him, which had been Mason’s.

God, the man looked good in leather.
It definitely made Sage want to buy him more clothing in that particular fabric.

They fitted well enough, perhaps a little on the big side. Sage had kept them, unable to throw them away yet.

Three weeks ago Dan had told him the new man Mason was apparently seeing had no motorbike but instead had a Porsche and a yacht moored out in the Ipswich Marina. Sage had been surprised at his lack of care for the situation. He was truly over Mason.

He unzipped his own leathers, loading them both into the panniers on the side of the bike.

Alex smiled at him. “Wow. What a ride. That was incredible. You’re quite the animal on that bike, you know.”

Sage laughed. “She’s an amazing beast to drive. I kept to the speed limits most of the time.” Together they walked into the hospital. Sage frowned when he saw the policemen standing outside Miles’s room. He increased his pace in his hurry to get to the room. He was aware of Alex trying to keep up with him.

“DS Doyle. What are you doing here? Is anything wrong?”

The policeman regarded him calmly. “Mr. Sage. Nothing’s wrong. We were just here to ask Mr. Conway some questions about the hit-and-run.”

Alex stiffened beside him and Sage groaned inwardly. He hadn’t had a chance to tell him much yet. “Has he remembered anything else?” he asked. The policeman shook his head.

“Nothing really new, but we had to check. We’ll keep looking. I have someone looking at the CCTV footage as we speak.” He nodded at Sage. “I’ll be in touch. Good afternoon, sir.”

Alex turned to Sage, his face grey. “Sage, your godfather was injured in a hit-and-run? I thought he’d just walked in front of a car by mistake."

“It’s been a bit hectic. I just hadn’t gotten around to it yet.”

“It’s just like my book. The next incident was a hit-and-run. This must be the same person that hurt Dianne.”

Sage nodded. “I’ve already been over that with the police. They know about it all and they’re looking out for whoever it might be.”

Alex paled. “The next incident is the one where Carter is kidnapped and beaten up by the mob. What if that’s the plan for the next scene? You could be in danger.”

Sage sighed. “I’ve already been over that with the police too. I really don’t think anyone will try anything with everyone watching.”

He walked into Mile’s room to see him sitting up, propped up with pillows.

Miles smiled widely. “Sage, my lad. Glad you came back. And you brought Alex with you as well. Did you see the police outside?”

Sage nodded. “I spoke to DS Doyle. They’re still checking CCTV footage to see if they can find the car that hit you. Hopefully they’ll come up with something.” He grinned at his godfather. “You’re looking better. I’m glad to see you more up and about.”

A weight lifted off his shoulders as he sat beside Miles. Not only had Miles come through a horrible ordeal, so had Alex. Sage still felt the burn of fury and hatred at the man who had brutalised him. In the shower Alex had been nervous, but Sage had actually been able to wash him, lathering soapy suds across his body, enjoying every minute he had the man beneath his hands.

Of course one thing had led to another and Sage had ended up giving Alex a blow job that had made him gasp and flatten his hands desperately against the wall tiles.

Then Alex had returned the favour. Sage was feeling a little overwhelmed. He was starting to care about this man very much. He’d tried to forget about Alex’s other needs. He wasn’t looking forward to having to face them again. He looked at Alex now, talking animatedly to Miles, telling him about his books and the filming. Sage felt a swell of pride for his lover’s courage. When visiting hours were over and it was time to leave, Sage kissed his godfather goodbye with the promise to see him the next day.

Outside he looked at Alex. “Do you want me to take you back home to London?”

Alex shook his head. “No. I’ll come home with you if you don’t mind. Then you can take me home tomorrow if that’s okay.”

Sage smiled in relief at having Alex for longer. “That’s fine with me. We’ll need to stop and get some food though. I’m starving. I don’t actually think we’ve eaten all day and all that exercise has definitely given me an appetite.” He leered at Alex as he zipped up his leathers, getting up on the bike behind him.

They finally reached the house about seven p.m. armed with bags of Chinese food and various other household provisions. They watched the news together, seated at the kitchen island. Sage was almost through his second helping of spicy beef when Alex’s mobile rang.

Alex looked at it, grinning as he answered. “Cully! This is a surprise. I thought you were in Argentina.”

Sage could tell this person, a man from the sound of it, was very special to Alex. He felt a surge of jealousy as he concentrated on the TV, trying not to appear to pay attention whilst he listened to every word.

Finally Alex rang off, turning to him with a huge smile. “Cully is a very good friend of mine. I’m seeing him tomorrow. He’s the one who rescued me out of Bohemia.”

Sage frowned, feeling a sense of relief at finding out who Cully was. “You mentioned both names earlier. Was Bohemia the name of the cult you were imprisoned in?”

Alex looked down at his food, a strange expression on his face. “You have to understand that when I first joined, I wasn’t a prisoner. I chose to go there with Rudy. I was seventeen and confused, and after a load of foster homes all I wanted was one place I could call home.”

Sage stopped chewing, looking at him in dismay. “You were a foster kid?”

Alex nodded. “My parents died when I was two. They were killed in a fire. I was in and out of foster homes all my life. Some good, some bad. When I was seventeen, I’d had enough. I came to London to try and find work, make some money. I met Rudy in a bar. He was older than me, twenty-five, and he seemed friendly and very concerned. I went home with him.”

He shrugged and Sage watched Alex’s face as once again he laid his soul bare to him.

“One thing led to another and eventually I was staying at his place. A few days later he said he knew this group we could go to who would look after us, feed us, give us somewhere to stay and ask very little in return.” Alex grimaced. “I said, why not. We went to this huge compound out in Surrey, out in the middle of nowhere.” He swallowed.

Sage laid a hand over his. “Don’t you think you’ve made enough breakthroughs today? You don’t have to tell me anymore just yet.” Sage’s innate curiosity was burning questions on his own soul but he felt he needed to make the offer.

Alex nodded, linking his fingers with his. “It’s all right. I think I can do this.” He looked down at their combined hands. “The first few days were okay. The people seemed decent, they really looked after us. Then things changed and Rudy…”

He cleared his throat. “Rudy started to turn nasty. I found out he was the leader of the cult. He’d go to London, find stray boys and men who had nowhere else to go, sweet-talk them and then take them back to Bohemia. We were mostly men but there were some women there, cooking, cleaning, doing the whole stereotypical thing.”

“What kind of cult was it?” Sage asked. “Did they have any specific rules and beliefs?”

Alex nodded. “Very much Third Reich teachings. White supremacy, the whole Nazi thing. Apart from one difference. Bohemia had to stay a fringe organisation because as a lot of them were homosexual. The really right-wing Third Reich guys didn’t like them for obvious reasons. But Rudy was bisexual, and he didn’t care what the extremists thought about him fucking men. He had a huge following and was pretty powerful.”

Alex took another large gulp of his wine, his hands trembling. “Most of the guys there were blond, fair skinned. But I was his favourite. I dyed my hair blond back then. And I had something special. I had two different colour eyes and in his twisted imagination that made me special. He saw it as a sign from God. He kept me for eight months. I found myself locked up in the compound most of the time and let out when I was good to him. And I was good a lot, Sage.” Alex’s voice was husky. “It was the only way I could get out and see daylight, walk around other people and have a conversation with someone that wasn’t hurting me.”

“Jesus, stop.” Sage couldn’t stand to hear the pain in Alex’s voice. “That’s enough. You don’t have to go on.”

Alex ignored him, drinking the rest of his wine then pouring another glass. “I was so broken I’d do anything. I knew it was wrong, I knew deep down inside he was a monster but he was all I had. I thought if he cared enough to be with me all that time he must feel something for me. I was lucky though; some of his ‘consorts’ as he called us—male and female—were given to the other men in the compound, but he never did that with me. I was only his.”

Alex looked at Sage and he saw the desolation in his lover’s eyes. “So I put up with anything he wanted. I learnt more about sex and bondage and pain than anyone ever should know. It became a way of life and I thought he would only do what he did if he loved me. So I let him.” He heaved a shuddering sigh, looking down at his hands circling the glass.

“One day I lost my temper over something—I don’t even remember what. I was young and stupid and I taunted him about being a fudge-packer, a queer. Told him he’d never count in the big scheme of things. He hated being reminded of that. I knew sometimes that he felt it was a weakness, holding him back from joining the big boys in play, the real heterosexual ones. He wanted their respect but they wouldn’t give it. He beat the shit out of me, broke a rib, raped me with a beer bottle.” Alex’s voice was quiet. “He tore me quite badly.” He smiled twistedly. “I hoped he’d kill me. I think subconsciously that’s why I started the whole conversation in the first place. Then at least it would be over."