Saving Ben (20 page)

“I’m scared to death of what’s going to happen when I leave Blessy.”

“Your self-appointed sponsor?” I smiled, thinking about what a strong presence Blessy had been in our lives. “Where did she take you that day, the day after Lizzie’s party?”

“She didn’t tell you?” When I shook my head, he shrugged. “It’s hard for her to talk about. She probably just assumed I would tell you.”

“Okay, so now I’m really curious. What gives?”

“She took me to the James River Home for the Disabled to visit her daughter.”

“Her daughter? What happened to Natasha?” I’d met Blessy’s daughter several times over the years. She was only a few years older than me, in her midtwenties, with an adorable little girl of her own, Asia. As far as I knew Nat was healthy and working as a court reporter in the Richmond court systems.

“Not Nat. Her other daughter—”

“Wait a minute, what? Blessy has another daughter?”

He nodded.

“What’s wrong with her that she has to live at this home?”

“If you’d zip your lips I’ll tell you.” Ben took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly. “Blessy has another daughter named Alice, who’s about thirty years old. She has a big head and mangled legs and the most amazing positive attitude.” Ben took a long drink from his beer and set the bottle back down. “You know how we’ve always suspected that there was more to Blessy’s relationship with Dock and MayMay than we thought?”

I nodded.

“Well, that’s because there is. Blessy grew up in a tiny little shack down the street from Dock’s office. Even after she was married, she lived there with her parents, her four older brothers and sisters, and all their children, her nieces and nephews. Dock found Blessy on the front porch of his office during a thunderstorm late one July afternoon. She was nine months pregnant and going into labor, but she was also strung out on drugs.”

My breath caught in my throat. “Blessy? No way.”

“Yep. And she had never even been to a doctor before.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“It’s hard to believe,” Ben said, shaking his head. “Anyway, baby Alice was in such bad shape when she was born, Dock air ambulanced her to Richmond. In order for the baby to get the medical support she needed from the state, Dock had to report Blessy to child welfare services. About a week later, Blessy came to see Dock and begged him to help her. He gave her a job and a place to live, away from her abusive husband, but most importantly, he made sure she got clean. When she was strong enough, she asked Dock to help her move to Richmond where she could be close to Alice.”

“And that’s when Dad promised he’d give her a job and look out for her.”

Ben nodded. “And she gets to see her daughter nearly every day. You wouldn’t believe how much I’ve learned from Alice and all the other children at the home.”

“How so?” I asked. It’d been a long time since I’d seen this empathetic side of my brother. If only he could find a girl who brought out that sensitive, caring side of him.

“I’ve been back to the home five times now, once a week since the Fourth of July. The kids always run up to me and hug me. They love it when I read to them or throw the ball with them or work a puzzle with them. I have to make myself go sometimes, because it’s hard. It breaks my heart to watch them struggle with their various impairments.”

I reached over and mussed his hair. “You should be proud of yourself, Ben. It takes a special kind of person to be around such challenged children.”

He cocked an eyebrow at me. “You do it.”

“True, but the kids I meet have broken bones that will heal or illnesses that can be treated. Mom wouldn’t volunteer her time like that. Can you see her playing checkers with a mentally challenged child? Seriously, Ben, you’ve given those children a special gift.”

“Maybe. But they’ve given me so much more. They’ve helped me stay clean.”

His eyes welled with tears and I gave him a moment to compose himself.

“We can wait until another time if you’re not up to it, but I have some tough questions for you. That is . . . if you don’t mind me asking.”

He shrugged. “You have every right to ask.”

“I’ve been wondering . . . is it safe for you to be drinking?”

“Truthfully? No. But I’m trying to limit myself. And I’ve sworn off hard liquor completely. That shit makes me a mean drunk.”

“If your behavior at Thanksgiving is any indication, I agree.” I climbed out of the pool, wrapped myself in a towel, and sat back down on the edge, dangling my feet in the water. ”Okay, so let me ask you this. The next time you’re feeling down about something, are you gonna be able to handle it without turning to drugs?”

“There are no guarantees, Kitty, but I feel more in control than I have in a long time. I’m focused, not just on finishing my business degree but on applying to culinary school as well.” He’d been keeping that little tidbit of information to himself, waiting for just the right time to surprise me. He pointed at me, laughing. “Gotya!”

I kicked my feet in the water and moved my upper body in a victory dance. “Uh-huh. Oh, ye-ah. My brother’s gonna be a ch-ef.”

We broke into a fit of laughter like we hadn’t experienced together since Emma entered our lives. I ran over to the pool house and turned on the stereo to The Highway station on Sirius radio. I dropped my towel and slid back into the pool. “Remember what Dock used to say? ‘Reach for the stars and strive to be great, because you only get one chance in life to fulfill your dreams.’”

Ben nodded. “I can hear him now. ‘Missed opportunities become the might-have-beens that will plague you for the rest of your life.’”

We finished our beers and opened another, talking more about culinary school while I gathered the nerve to ask him the one question I needed an answer for.

“At the risk of spoiling the mood . . .” I took a deep breath and held it in for a long minute. “Before I begin my second year as her roommate, I need to know what’s going on with you and Emma.”

“Nada,” he said, shaking his head. “I haven’t spoken to her in six weeks.”

“Whew-wee, that’s a relief.” I ran the back of my hand across my forehead, wiping fake sweat from my brow.

“Look. I understand if you don’t believe this—and if you don’t I’ll keep trying until you do—but what happened on the Fourth of July scared the shit out of me, enough for me to make some changes in my life. I’m clean and I plan to stay that way, Emma or no Emma.”

As much as I
wanted
to believe him, an uneasy feeling in my gut told me things were far from over between the two of them. I had no idea what any of it meant for me as her roommate, but I knew I needed to prepare myself for another turbulent year.

***

The next day, while Ben and Dad were out fishing, I made my way down to our small section of beach, wanting nothing more than to dig my toes in the sand and finish the last remaining chapters of
Cutting for Stone.
When my mother came down about an hour later, I knew my quiet time was about to be interrupted, but she surprised me. Instead of making her customary grand entrance, she set up her chair and settled quietly into her September
Vogue.

When I reached the end, I closed the book and tilted my head back.

“Isn’t it good?” my mother asked, peeking up from her magazine. “I heard Verghese speak a couple of years ago at the Junior League Book and Author Dinner. He’s an interesting man.”

I nodded. “Both a physician and a successful author. He makes me want to forget about nursing school and become a doctor.”

She put her magazine in her bag and rummaged around for her sunscreen. “Speaking of nursing school, you’ll be getting into the meat of your degree this fall, won’t you?”

I shrugged. “For the most part—although I still have a few general ed requirements left.”

“How
are
things for you at UVA, Katherine?” she asked in a genuine tone. “With the sorority and nursing school?”

I shifted in my beach chair and watched as she rubbed sunscreen on her face. The skin around her mouth and on her forehead was smooth, so smooth I wondered if she’d snuck off to a specialized clinic in Switzerland for some state-of-the art treatment while she was abroad.

A part of me didn’t think she had the right to ask me about my life after the way she’d manipulated me into going to UVA, but I saw in her eyes a warmth I hadn’t seen in a long time. And I was intrigued.

“Things are okay, I guess. Pledging Tri Beta was definitely
the right decision for me. Nursing school is challenging, but I’m pretty sure my studies will mean more to me after having spent the summer working in the ER.”

“Are you still planning to reapply to UNC?” she asked.

“I’m still thinking about it. Applications aren’t due until January, so I still have plenty of time to decide.”

“You know your father would be more than happy to use his connections.” She reached over and squeezed my hand. “And this time, I promise not to interfere.”

I smiled at my mom. “I appreciate the offer, but if I decide to reapply and I get accepted, I want it to happen on my own merit.”

She cupped my chin in her hand. “I’m very proud of you, you know. I’ll be the first to admit I misunderstood you. I underestimated your abilities, Katherine. You’re a lovely, mature young woman and you will make a fine nurse. Or doctor, if you are so inclined.” She pulled her hand away. “Now tell me about Emma. It seems as though I might have misjudged her as well.”

I rolled my eyes. “Everyone misjudges her, Mom. It’s all in the way she operates.”

“How so?”

I sat up straighter in my chair. “Okay . . . well, here’s a hypothetical situation to use as an example. It would be so like Emma to walk out on this beach right now and invite us to do something really fun and cool, and we’d go along with her because we wouldn’t be able to resist her charm and coercion. Then, while we’re doing this really awesome thing, she’d flatter us into thinking we’re the only people on the planet, her best friends. And before we knew what had happened, we’d be tangled back up in her web.”

Mom put her manicured hand over her mouth as she laughed. “Looks like you’ve got her number.”

“Finally. But I fell under her spell many times before I was able to recognize the real Emma.”

“And you’re rooming with her again?”

“Yep. I’m stuck with her.” I dug a shell out of the sand and hurled it into the water. “There’s something I never told you about Emma.” As gently as I could, I explained how Emma had lied to the sorority during rush and how her father was serving time for distributing heroin.

She scrunched her brow together. “That’s unspeakable. So her father was never an English professor?”

“Nope. He was a janitor and his cleaning closet was his office.”

Mom clenched her jaw, her eyes full of anger. “Do you think word got out about this? You know, throughout the Chi Delta house?”

“Not if Honey Mabry had anything to do with it. She is all about keeping this a secret to avoid tarnishing the reputation of the sorority.”

“Honey Mabry knows about this?”

I thought back to my first night on campus when Emma and I met Honey in the women’s bathroom at the KO house. “Look, Mom, Honey is not an innocent party in all this. She shunned Emma from the very beginning. She used her sources to dig around until she found something she could use against her.”

My mother turned her head away from me and used the edge of her towel to blot away the tears. I reached over and gave her arm a squeezed. For the next few minutes, as she pulled herself together, we watched a father tow his young son and daughter tubing behind their boat. Their mother was riding in the passenger seat, holding on tight to her straw hat, while the father drove around in circles, doing donuts. Neither of us said as much, but we were both reminded of
our
family, once upon a time.

“I’ve been wrong about so many things. You must think I’m a fool,” she said, sniffling.

“In some ways, Mom, I’m as much to blame as anyone. I should’ve told you right after rush about Emma. Even before, when I knew she was using you to get sorority recommendation letters.”

“Only because you knew I wouldn’t listen to you.”

“Still, that’s no excuse.”

Mom pulled a tissue from her bag and blew her nose. “Since I’ve screwed everything else up in such a big way, I’m looking to you for guidance. We have to do something to help Ben get away from Emma. Maybe we can stage an intervention or something, with you and me and Daddy, maybe Spotty and Reed.”

“It won’t work. We’ve already tried.”

Mom and I caught sight of Dad and Ben coming toward us in the boat. When Ben held up a string of flounder, we gave him a thumb’s-up and cheered.

I turned back to my mother. “Anyway, Ben says it’s over between them. He realizes how controlling and manipulative Emma is. He was obsessed with her, not in love with her.”

“Do you think it would help if I had a talk with him?”

“You can try, but Ben is not a three-year-old boy. You can’t smack his hand and tell him to stay away from Emma because he might get burned. She’s a college kid in heat, not a hot burner on the stove.”

I watched the tension drain from her body. “So we do nothing?”

I nodded. “And let him figure this out himself. He seems to have grown up a lot this summer. All we can do is hope he stays away from Emma when we go back to school. But if he starts seeing her again, we will stay close to him, keep our finger on his pulse.”

“In other words, we sit and wait and hope disaster doesn’t strike?”

I shrugged. “Welcome to my world.”