Say You'll Never Love Me (16 page)

“Well, whatever you choose, I’m sure you and Father Jared will be the best looking couple there.”

Silbie widened those beautiful peepers and grinned. “When I grow up, I want to marry him.”

Raynie sighed. “Me, too.”
Oh Lord. Did I say that out loud?

“You’re silly. You’re already growed up.”

“Yeah, I’m getting there.”

JARED RAN PAST THE
yellow house at the end of the block with a new real estate sign in the yard. He’d always liked the place, but the color seemed a little girly for a bachelor. The sun behind him, sweat trickled between his shoulders. Rounding the next corner, he slowed his pace and pulled wireless headphones from his ears. He clipped stride again and checked his heart monitor. All good. He felt better after a run, plus it relieved stress and lately he’d had plenty.

Down the street from his apartment, a car pulled from the curb and raced away. From that distance, and now with the sun in his eyes, the vehicle looked similar to Beth’s, but he couldn’t be sure. After the lecture he’d given her, and the threat of a restraining order, she wouldn’t be stupid enough to continue following him. Would she?

Reaching his porch, he unlocked the door, and went inside, glad to be in air conditioning. After getting a bottle of water from the fridge and downing half of it in one gulp, his thoughts returned to earlier in the day.

A spark of interest brightened Raynie’s eyes when she’d mentioned he didn’t need a reason to see her. Like hell he didn’t. He had the biggest reason of all. He liked being with her. He already fantasized about crushing her hair with his fingers and tipping her chin up to claim her lips. Have her sigh against his mouth. Clutch his shoulders to bring him closer and surrender to him. And even though he’d never been a jealous person, the thought of her with someone else caused a fire to burn in the pit of his stomach.

He strode down the hall into the bathroom and started the shower.

Silbie liked him and she was his ticket to Raynie and there was nothing wrong with that. He wasn’t using her. His interest in the child was sincere. He wanted to help her get over the loss she’d suffered. The excitement in her voice when he asked her to the dance made him happy.

He stripped and stepped into the warm spray. Palms braced against the tile wall, he dipped his head under the gush of water and reached for the shampoo. After that, he lathered on body wash. Whoever invented liquid soap got his vote for one of the best ideas ever. Ten minutes later, he toweled off.

He wasn’t in the mood to sit home. Raynie and running combined caused his adrenalin to pump. Wasn’t much fun to party alone, but he doubted Maggie wanted Jace to go out again this soon, and Pate was out of the question. He only got a pass once in a blue moon.

Why not admit it? Jared wanted to be with Raynie. Hell, she had a built in baby sitter until Friday. The sun hadn’t set. Still early. He took out his phone and texted. “Join me for a drink?”

RAYNIE SAT ON
the back porch watching Silbie and Mom play a game of chase. She’d always been a good playmate. In more ways than one. Raynie recalled the Playboy Magazine spread in 1982. Even after having two kids, her mother looked great. Most of Raynie’s friends, especially the boys, loved coming to her house, because the entire layout, matted and framed, hung in the living room, right next to the autographed pictures of Cheech and Chong. Raynie had a gut feeling Mom and Tommy had an affair, but there was no concrete proof.

Laying the laptop aside, she checked the time. Almost seven. There was a lot to hate about Lubbock, but at night the temperature dropped and made it nice outside. She guessed that was God’s way of letting people enjoy the sunsets. Who’d want to sit in blazing heat and watch the culprit causing their discomfort disappear into the horizon. That might take the magic out of it. And sharing it with Jared
had
been magic.

She bit her bottom lip. A few more weeks and she’d be out of there and back where she belonged. In a city with the unofficial motto, ‘Keep Austin Weird.’ Here, the unsanctioned slogan, if they had one, would be ‘Keep Lubbock Dusty.’

Mom climbed the two steps onto the porch and collapsed across the chaise lounge, heaving for breath. “Whew. That’s all I can do, Silbie. You’ve got to let me rest.” She pulled her body up straight and looked over at Raynie. “I need to tell you something.”

She recognized the tone, and braced for some crazy ultimatum. Lord, she hoped Hugh Hefner wasn’t planning a senior citizen edition. “O . . . kayy.”

“Why do you say it like that?”

“I’m preparing for the worst. You’re not posing nude again, are you? I mean it’s okay to go all Eve in the confines of The Bare Truth, but in print will be too much. Consider your granddaughter.”

“Relax. That isn’t it.” She sucked in a deep breath. “I’m getting married.”

Raynie’s throat tightened. “What? I didn’t know you were dating.”

“His name is Daschle, and he joined the group six months ago.”

“Oh, so you’ve literally been seeing him. All of him.”

Mom shot her a pointed glare as if to murder the sarcasm. “I may as well add to your disapproval. He’s also younger. By twelve years.”

Raynie coughed out a laugh. “That explains it.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh come on. How many times have you claimed how a piece of paper meant nothing? That you didn’t believe in marriage. And now you’ve thrown your principles to the wayside and become a cougar?”

“His idea, and since I love him. I want to make him happy. We’ve planned an August wedding. I’d like for you to come.”

Raynie bit back another cutting remark because her mother looked so—hopeful. “Sure. Wouldn’t miss it. Does Dad know?”

“Yes. I invited him, but I doubt he shows. The man has been eighty since he was forty. Never wanted to go anywhere or do anything. The major reason for our divorce. Daschle is the exact opposite. He loves to travel, cook, rock climb, try new things.”

Yeah, I bet he does.
Damn, Raynie had to bite her tongue. Mom kept feeding her perfect fodder for snarky comebacks. Her phone dinged and when she read the message she grimaced.

Mom must have noticed. “Bad news?”

“No. Jared wants me to join him for a drink.”

“Go. If that hunk asked me out, I’d sure take him up on it. I mean, if I was twenty years younger and not engaged.”

She pulled her brows tight. “Not a good idea.”

“Why not? He’s single. You’re unattached. He’s interested. You like him. What’s the problem?”

“That last part. I like him. Too much. I don’t need a complication.” She cupped her hands over her mouth and checked to be sure Silbie was out of hearing distance. “That would make it harder for me to leave. Besides, he and I are worlds apart on the compatibility chart.”

“Ridiculous. Haven’t you heard opposites attract?”

“Yeah and didn’t you divorce dad because he didn’t want the same things you did? I rest my case.”

“That’s not fair. We were happy for many years.”

Raynie couldn’t deny she’d thought about being with Jared. The good Lord blessed him with holy hotness for sure, but she couldn’t picture herself taking a preacher as a lover. No way. But it would be fun to see heads snap from bodies if he brought a fortune teller to church.

Mom didn’t give up. “Please go.”

Raynie shook her head so fast her vision blurred. “No. I can’t.”

“Haven’t you noticed how he looks at you? If not, there’s something wrong with you.”

Raynie searched for a response, but when it didn’t come, Mom went on. “I know you don’t like being in Lubbock, but maybe meeting him was meant to be.”

Raynie’s stomach plummeted like it did at the end of an elevator ride. “That makes no sense.”

“Really?”

Mom arched a brow. That all knowing look she did so well. The one that got confessions out of Raynie because she thought her mother already knew whatever she was hiding. Well, it might have worked when she was a teenager, but she was long past that now.

“Yes, really.”

Now she arched it so high it almost disappeared into her hairline. “In the aftermath of this horrible tragedy, what if you and Jared can provide Silbie with a stable home life? Besides, I know you’re lonely.”

For a split second, the words registered but not the meaning, then they assaulted Raynie with so much emotion she fought tears. “For you to suggest my happiness stems from anything related to Celeste’s death dumps a load of guilt on me!”

Mom lowered her head and gazed up at Raynie. “That’s not what I mean.”

As if she didn’t already have enough to deal with. Raynie wanted to say more, but thank goodness her phone rang.

“Hey. Did you get my text?” Jared asked.

“Yes. How soon can you be here?”

“Twenty minutes.”

“See you then.” So much for not spending time with him but better than listening to advice ala Mom. Besides, Raynie needed a drink, or better yet, to get shit faced.

Doubt is a pain too lonely to know,

that faith is his twin brother.

~Kahil Gibran

RAYNIE STOMPED DOWN
the hallway still fuming over Mom’s speech. Where did know-it-all get off saying Raynie was lonely. Not true. She had friends. A business. A man when she wanted, and none when she didn’t. A damn near perfect existence. Thank-you very much.

No, that talk was to take the focus from buttinsky’s pending nuptials. A younger man. Good grief. Why did Mom even need a husband? In five years, she’d be on Medicare.

In all the phone conversations they’d had, Raynie never complained about not having a man in her life. She jerked a floral skirt from the closet and stepped into it. Lonely, my ass. Mom didn’t know what she was talking about and regardless of what she said, Jared had no romantic interest.

The pink lace top was perfect. She searched a drawer for a camisole. Once found, she threaded her arms through it and layered on the blouse.

As she brushed her hair, Mom’s reflection appeared in the mirror. “Crap! You scared me.”

“I want to explain my earlier statement. I didn’t mean Celeste died, so you’d meet Jared. I’m saying if he’s important to you, then at least something positive comes from losing her. You and your sister have been the joy of my life and I want you to be happy. When I was here at Christmas, something was wrong. I tried to talk to Celeste, but she shut me out. I think her marriage was in trouble.”

Raynie didn’t know if anger or sadness caused the tears, but here they were. God, she hated crying so much. Should she confirm Mom’s suspicion? No. That wouldn’t change a thing.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you.” Raynie fell into Mom’s arms and sobbed. “I don’t know what I’m doing. Silbie cries. I cry. You’re right. I am lonely. But just here. In this house. This city.” Her breath hitched. “When I get back to Austin, I’ll be okay.”

Mom pulled her closer and stroked her hair. “You’re doing fine. Silbie’s as happy as she can be. It will take time for all of us. I’m so proud of you. You’ve put your life on hold for her and you didn’t have to.”