Say You'll Never Love Me (31 page)

He stood. Grabbed his clothes. “Know what, Raynie? You’ll end up old and alone because of your warped idea of happily-ever-after. You think it should be happily forever. Well, I’ve got news for you.” He buttoned his pants and jerked his shirt over his head. “It’s impossible to be happy 24–7. Hell, I don’t even like myself every minute.”

He picked up his boots, stuffed his socks inside, and held them. “Shit happens. We slip-up. We say things we don’t mean. But if two people love each other, they get through hard times. You’re concentrating on the forever part. Focus on the after.” He sat next to her and looped his arm around her shoulders. “Don’t you get it? It’s when you commit and stay together
after
all the mistakes and problems. That’s your forever.”

She shrugged away. “Just stop, I . . .”

He jumped to his feet. “No. You stop. There are plenty of couples with fairy tale endings. My brother. Mom and dad. And I want the same thing.”

“What do you mean?”

“According to your instructions, I’m not allowed to say what I mean . . . or feel. So you figure it out.”

The muscle in his jaw jutted in and out. “Want a fuck buddy? Then keep finding the bad boys.” He moved to the doorway and stopped. “I need to be more than stud service. If you change your mind about what you want, let me know.” Then he turned and disappeared down the hallway.

HEART POUNDING, HEAD
spinning, Raynie sat stunned. No man had ever made more abrupt exits, but she’d never met a man like Jared Sloan. What was wrong with him? Okay, so he wanted more. More what? Be exclusive? They were except for Rico’s visit and that didn’t count because she’d just met Jared.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Clearly he confused love and lust. Love didn’t last. It never did. And if he broke her heart, she wouldn’t recover. Not this time.

And their families? Even the thought of them together made her laugh out loud. She could picture Mrs. Sloan, pale with disbelief, when Mom showed up with a younger husband, and wanted to frolic in the backyard buck naked, while Raynie’s dad offered Mr. Sloan a homegrown joint.

She replayed his exit scene.
I want it. You figure it out.
What did that even mean?

It was the whole happily-ever-after thing. He was trying to change her way of thinking. She believed in happy endings for some people. Just not her. Or Mom. Or Dad. Or Celeste. Nope, no fairy-tale-ride-off-into-the-sunset for the Starr family. Couldn’t he see that? She based her conclusion on facts, not theory.

Both kitties hooked claws in the comforter and crawled to join Raynie. She placed fingertips to temples. “I’m in deep shit. The padre has feelings for me. Any advice?” She stroked their fur, and they purred in contentment. “Yep, you’re correct. He makes me hum the same way. And his kisses.” She drew a long breath, held it, then released it as if meditating. “Not to mention the dirty talk.” She lifted Medusa to eye level. “Any tomcats ever purr nasty things to you? Probably not. Maybe it’s because Jared’s so moral and different from any man I’ve ever dated, but when those filthy words come out of his mouth, I feel like I might combust.”

She replaced the cat next to her brother. “Well, neither of you helped.” She scooted from the bed and headed to the bathroom. A cold shower would clear her head. Because like it or not, there were choices to be made.

The pounding water didn’t solve anything. Her brain spun with questions. At least the confusion with Jared pushed the threat of losing Silbie to the back of Raynie’s mind. Temporarily.

Climbing back into bed, she pulled the cover up to her chin. The memory of him naked caused her to shiver. What kind of man stops as he’s about to have his turn?

She bolted upright. Enough was enough. No more pondering about love and commitment and all that other malarkey. She traipsed into the kitchen and removed the fresh loaf from the pan, put the surveillance photos in a safe place, then loaded the dishwasher.

The plan to give the bread as a thank-you to Mr. Remmus changed. She wanted to sample the recipe. She cut a warm slice and poured herself some wine.

After a couple of drinks, she checked for new emails. Best to stay caught up. Only two. She opened the first request from
LuvsmeLuvsmeKnot.
Male. Bachelor. Clever moniker. She’d give him that. Recent relationship. Different backgrounds. He was serious. She wasn’t. Any hope?

Hmm, sounded familiar. Idiot. Total fool. She could take his money and tell his future without a shuffle. Of course she’s the one. For a while. But don’t hang your hopes and dreams on her. Chances are, she’ll grow tired of you and meet a pumpkin farmer to spice up her life.

Forcing the thought away, she shuffled and turned the Seven of Wands. Second card, Two of Swords. Then Two of Cups. Followed by Eight of Coins. Finally, Lovers Card.

What if this was Jared’s request? Great. More paranoia. Just what she needed. If so, the reading couldn’t be right. She re-shuffled and began again. With each turn, her head pounded harder. What were the odds? A million to one? No, a billion. For the same cards to come up twice in a row—impossible.

She closed her eyes. Breathed in. out. In. out. Her peepers popped open, and she drained her glass. Too much wine? Stupid. Not drunk. Had to be a mistake. She aimed her cell, snapped a picture, reshuffled.

With the first card, her chest tightened. Coincidence. She flipped number two. Damn! She blinked. Nope. Same card. That made no sense. Her brain was playing tricks. Either that, or some evil spirit had possessed her deck. She gathered them into a messy heap. The front door opened. Silbie was home. No need to press her luck. She went to pay the sitter.

At nine o’clock the following morning, still woozy from the night before, Raynie scrambled for her phone and finally located it beneath the covers. “Hello.”

Quinn’s cheery voice echoed. “Morning. How’s everything going?”

Raynie rubbed her head. “Not so good. I had the weirdest dream. Kept getting the same cards over and over.”

“That is weird.”

“I’m a little fuzzy. I knocked off a half-bottle of vino last night. Probably explains the nightmare. Anyway, what’s going on with you?”

“Yesterday, a guy named David Carson, came in to your shop and wanted to know if I’d be interested in selling the place. Once I explained I just worked there, he asked for your number. Expect a call.”

“Why didn’t you tell him it wasn’t for sale?”

“Not my decision. You might accept the right offer.”

“Oh my God. You want me to.”

“Keep your options open. With everything that’s happened, I’m not sure you know what you want. Getting rid of the business would help you figure that out.”

“You sound like Jared. He basically said the same thing. Have you been talking to him?”

“No! I’d never do that. I’m saying, the apartment connected to the store isn’t big enough for you and Silbie, so selling might be a good choice. You can still come back. Buy a suitable house and do all your business online. You don’t need the responsibility of a storefront. Take my word, working from home has advantages. I love it.”

“You have a baby. Silbie will be in school all day. My situation is different.”

“Yeah. Like now.”

“Okay. Point taken. You’re right. I don’t miss having a shop, but selling? I’ve never thought about it.”

“Well, you should. Now tell me what’s been happening between you and the padre.”

By the time Raynie hung up, Quinn had the scoop about the lawsuit and Jared walking out.

After the call, she glanced at the laptop and cards lying on her bed and the memory of the readings flooded back. It’d not been a dream. Head clear, a new turn was in order. This time, it would be the one she sent to the customer. Grabbing her supplies, she rushed to the kitchen table and shuffled. First card. Seven of Wands. Holy crap. Deja vu all over again.

Fate decides who comes into your life,

your heart decides who stays.

~Picture quotes

TWO WEEKS PASSED A
nd Raynie became unhappier by the minute. Interested buyer, David Carson called the day after Quinn, and made an offer on the Austin property. One Raynie couldn’t refuse without serious consideration. She admitted she’d not missed the shop, and if she intended to be active in Silbie’s parties and events, selling was the best choice. And, it took one worry off her mind.

No word from Jared since the night he’d left her naked and alone, so she assumed he’d moved on. She tried not to think about him, but nothing worked. And the suspicious client made her more despondent. If Jared was
LuvsmeLuvsmeKnot,
then the minute he got the email, he’d call. Or not. Is that what she wanted? Wasn’t sure. But she was miserable. No doubt about that. She strolled to the laptop, pulled up the tarot summary, and hit send.

It was nearly time for Mr. Remmus’ visit and today, she wouldn’t wait. Taking the last bottle from the cabinet, she jotted Maker’s 46 on her shopping list. Didn’t want the old man to run out. The daily drink might be all that kept him going.

Whiskey in hand, she made her way across the yard to his front door. Before she rang the bell, he opened it. “What’s this? You bootlegging now?”

“I’d have to charge you if that were true. You borrow from me. I bring a gift. Saves you a trip.”

He chuckled. “I like you Raynebeaux Starr. If I was thirty years younger, I’d give that boyfriend of yours a run for his money.”

“You talking about Jared? He isn’t my boyfriend.”

The gent cocked a brow. “Knew I hadn’t seen him lately, but thought I just missed his visits.”

Now she chuckled. “You don’t miss anything.”

“You’re right. So what’s going on?”

She glanced around the room. Quaint. Neat. Not what she anticipated. She thought the place would be a cluttered mess given the fact Mr. Remmus rarely combed his hair and never wore an ironed shirt. She also expected it to smell like a nursing home. It didn’t. A mixture of tobacco and vanilla hung in the air. A combination she found pleasant.

An overstuffed beige sectional anchored the living room with a dark red velvet chair at the end. Floor to ceiling bookcases covered one wall. Raynie moved to the shelves and ran her finger along the volumes. Your wife must have loved Nella Summer. Every book she ever wrote must be here.”

“She read them over and over. And when she got sick, I read them to her. She was Nella’s biggest fan.”

“My mom loves her books, too”

“How about you?”

“Never bought into the happily-ever-after stuff too much.”

“So, back to your fellow. You two split the sheet?”

“More like never got between them. He came to his senses. I’m not the marrying kind.”

Mr. Remmus opened the bottle and filled a glass already sitting on the counter, then held it up as if to ask Raynie to join him.

“No, thanks. Won’t be long until I carpool kids.”

“From what I’ve seen of you and Silbie, you’re perfect wife
and
mother material. Seems to come natural. So what’s the crap about not believing in happy endings? You can’t be faithful?”

Her face pinched. “I’ve never cheated in a relationship. Two tries at marriage and struck out. Not interested in another turn at bat.”

“But your boyfriend was.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Like you said. I don’t miss much. He was sure good with Silbie.”

“Not meant to be.”

“You would have thought the same thing about Charlotte and me, but we were perfect together.”

His lips trembled when he spoke her name and Raynie thought he might cry, but instead he sipped then smiled with a faraway look. “Serendipity. That’s what it was.”

Raynie followed him to the sofa and sat next to him because she was sure he was just beginning the story.

He swallowed another drink. “It was the first week in December and pouring down rain. I was late for an appointment at the university. Parked as close as I could, but still a distance to walk.”

He closed his eyes as if recalling the scene, then opened them and drained his glass. “I was already late, but it was raining so hard, waited in my car to see if it’d slack up long enough to not get soaked. It didn’t. So after about fifteen minutes, I made a run for it. Head bowed, coat pulled up, I skidded to the door and ran smack dab into someone.