Scarred Lions (11 page)

‘No!’

‘There’s nothing we can do for him.’

‘I know, but …’

‘Shoot him, Buyi! He’s your dog. Finish it!’ He pushed the rifle into my hands. A shock went through me. I had never touched a rifle before. It was heavy, warm from the sun.

‘I can’t.’

‘Are you a man?’ His voice was cold.

‘Yes.’ Softly.

‘Do you want Umfana to suffer further?’

‘No.’

‘Then do it! Now!’

I couldn’t believe it was happening. Themba was cruel. Heartless. How I hated him. I knew he didn’t care for me. This proved it.

‘Pull the rifle butt into your shoulder. Your cheek here …’ He showed me. I felt his chest against my back. Smelled his sweat. Felt the power in his arms as he guided my arms, my hands.

And I trembled. Even on the inside. Every cell in my body cried: No! No! No!

Umfana’s body aligned with the rifle sight. I saw the look in his eyes. Was it terror? Or relief, knowing what was about to happen?

Terrifying seconds ticked by.

‘Breathe steady,’ said Themba.

No! No! No!

‘Squeeze the trigger, gently.’

‘No!’ I cried. The powerful sound of my voice rang out across the bush.

I held the rifle out to Themba, and turned my head away. I didn’t want him to see me crying.

He took the rifle from me. I sank my head into my hands and walked away. Still shaking. Horrified. But relieved, until …

The gunshot rang out.

I was stunned by its intensity. Sudden. Sharp. Thundering back from the mountains.

My mouth fell open. I stopped breathing. I stopped thinking. Lost. Empty. Silent.

Themba turned to me. His jaws clenched. His face relentless. ‘You’re not a man,’ he said.

‘I hate you,’ I said under my breath.

‘Did you find him?’ asked André as he and Simoshile came running. Themba and I had just arrived back at the chalet.

I nodded. My face felt swollen from all the crying.

‘Where is he?’ asked Simoshile.

I stared back at the rifle in the Land Rover.

Simoshile’s lips parted slightly. She brought her hand up to her mouth. Eyes wide.

‘Sorry,’ said André softly.

Simoshile put her arm around me. I shrugged it off. ‘Leave me alone!’

She was shocked. I was too. I never thought I would say something like that to somebody who cared for me.

‘I … I want to be alone,’ I tried again. I couldn’t look at her. I was ashamed, but also filled with sadness. ‘I just need some time, okay Simoshile?’

She nodded.

‘We’ll see you soon,’ said André. He took Simoshile by the arm and they left. Simoshile looked back once. There were tears in her eyes.

I looked down at my bloodstained hands. These were the hands I had used to dig Umfana’s grave. The hands I had used to gently place his body inside.

I clenched my fists. They fell open again in an instant. I was drained.

And never before had I felt so alone.

Themba washed up, then drove off, back to the main buildings. I was thankful that he wasn’t there with me in the chalet. I knew he would come back sooner or later. Then I would have to face him. I dreaded that moment.

I ambled around the chalet, aimlessly. I hadn’t had anything to eat since that morning. And I didn’t feel like eating anything now.

I was not as tough as I thought I was. I was just a meek boy. I had nothing in common with this land, these people.

I remembered how I’d felt about London. That I didn’t belong there. But now I knew that I didn’t belong in South Africa either. When I landed here I didn’t feel a connection with the land. And still there was no connection.

I didn’t really come home.

I didn’t really return, like my name suggested.

I was no one. And that was probably why Themba treated me the way he did.

The phone rang. I didn’t want to answer, but it kept on ringing. Eventually I picked it up.

‘Yes?’

‘Buyi? Is that you?’

My heart lifted for only a moment. ‘Mum! I’m so glad to hear your voice.’

‘What’s wrong?’ I kept quiet. ‘Buyi, tell me.’

‘I’ve had a bad day.’

‘What happened?’

Deep breath. ‘He … he doesn’t like me.’ Finally I dared to say those words. ‘And I don’t care for him either.’

‘But have you tried?’

‘He wanted me to shoot Umfana today! Why should I try? I hate him.’

I could hear the worry in her voice. ‘I’ll talk to him.’

‘It’s no use.’

‘Of course it is.’

Seconds ticked by without either of us saying anything. I listened to Mum’s breathing. Just knowing she was there at the other end of the line comforted me.

‘And how have you been doing?’ I asked eventually.

The answer took a long time coming: ‘Miserable. I miss you a lot, Buyi.’

‘And I miss you.’

‘I’ve tried to sound cheerful whenever I talk to you. And I know I’ve been telling you how everything is fine, but really, it isn’t.’

‘Mum?’

‘I’ve been struggling to get through my days without you, Buyi.’

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

‘I didn’t want to upset you. I knew you had a lot on your plate now.’

So, we both acted the same. Both of us so careful of the other’s feelings. Not wanting to hurt the other.

Later, as I lay on my bed thinking it all over again, the decision slowly surfaced in my mind: I’m going back to London.

Driven by anger, I jumped up from my bed. I had to do it. I had to get away from there. Themba wouldn’t miss me. Hell, he might even be glad that I was gone.

His face flashed before me. He had the same look in his eyes as that afternoon when he handed me the rifle.

Shoot him, Buyi! He’s your dog. Finish it!

How could a father ask that of his son? I had no answer, only determination now. I simply had to get away.

But how? Pacing up and down in my room I made a plan. First I had to get out of the resort. The main gate would be the obvious choice. Straight out and down that dust road I arrived on. But there was a guard at the gate. He would get suspicious and alert Themba. And before I could even get to the gate, others might see me as well. Visitors, Mama Unahti, one of the rangers, André, Simoshile …

No, I couldn’t just walk out the main gate. I had to take a different route. In my mind I pictured the three wildlife camps bordering the main camp.

There was another way of getting out of there. I had to make my way through the Kusasa camp. It bordered the dust road to the resort on one side. If I could take a short cut through Kusasa, and meet up with the dust road further along, I would be okay. From there on I would make my way to the tarred road and try and catch a lift to Bela-Bela, and then onto the highway and straight to the airport.

The plane ticket. How would I get a plane ticket? The question lingered in my mind. I still had a bit of money left, some savings stashed away in a British bank. If I needed to, I could use that to help pay for the ticket back to London.

I had to hurry. The sun had already started slipping down to the horizon. I had to get to the dust road before dark.

I couldn’t take along all of my stuff. A backpack would have to do. A few items of clothing. My passport. Some food. A torch and pliers – I would have to cut the wire fence when I reached the resort’s border.

I suddenly wished I could say goodbye to André and Simoshile. They had become dear friends these past days. Mama Unahti too. And Lwazi. But I couldn’t risk it. I sighed. Feeling the loss of true friendship already. I’d write them a letter when I got back home, I decided.

As I looked around my room one final time, I felt that emptiness inside me yet again. Then my eyes found the picture of Amir Khan. A flood of feelings rushed through me. But somehow shame was the one surfacing above all the others. I couldn’t live up to the dream of triumphantly fighting my battles.

Back at school I could raise my fists and throw a mean punch. But the greatest battles are fought on the inside. And those were the ones I couldn’t win.

I had let myself down but there was nothing I could do about it now.

Stepping out of the chalet, I glanced in the direction of Umfana’s kennel. And then, under cover of the trees, I walked on, all the while making sure nobody saw me.

I am leaving it all behind now, I said to myself. You are going to be okay, Buyi. This is not the end. It is a new beginning.

But a voice from the back of my mind kept on taunting me: Run-away! Couldn’t handle it, could you? You’re not a man!

I tried to shake the voice. I had to concentrate.

Up ahead the Kusasa gate came into view.

The leaves and grass tinted orange. The bark of the trees became black silhouettes against the setting sun. A sweet, mellow scent rose out of the earth like ancient burning incense. A light breeze cooled the air. The call of the birds became sharper as the bush was settling in for the night.

I kept my head up. I knew which direction I had to take. It is not that far, I said to myself.

Dry leaves and twigs crackled under my shoes. Intently listening to the regular pace kept me company. Soothed my thoughts.

I don’t know why but Simoshile suddenly entered my mind. I thought back to the marula tree. The marriage tree. I remembered the moment we shared that morning as we held hands. Hers was soft in mine.

‘Get a grip on yourself!’ I reproached myself out loud. ‘You’re never going to see her again.’

The very thought made my body ache.

But it was true. I had to get a move on. It was getting dark; I had to keep my mind focussed.

I made sure I was still on track and then quickened my pace.

A sudden sound a few feet away made me jump. Just in time I saw the warthog scampering off, its tail erect. It was probably busy digging for tasty roots when I disturbed it.

I tried to settle my mind again, gain control of my breathing.

The way to the camp’s border seemed further now. Doubt filled my mind. Was I on the right track? Perhaps I had been mistaken. Perhaps this wasn’t the right direction at all. I stopped, stared back where I’d come from. Everything looked the same now.

It was getting darker still.

You can’t afford to hesitate now, Buyi, I said to myself.

I went on in the direction I had followed earlier. Hoping that it was the right one.

My backpack bore down heavily on my shoulders. I gritted my teeth. You’ll show Themba what you’re capable of. You’re not going to give up now. And you’re certainly not going to hang around and let him mess with your mind.

Oemfff!

The sudden sound stopped me in my tracks.

Oemfff!

It was unmistakable. A lion!

My heart raced. No, not here, not now, I silently begged. This was supposed to be the safer camp of the three.

It is not him, it is not the one with the scar, I tried consoling myself, hoping that I was right.

Oemfff!

The sound vibrated in my chest, in every bone in my body. It was like a sound system turned up to its full volume. It left me breathless for a moment.

What was I to do? Turn back and hope he hadn’t noticed me? Or move forward?

I had already covered a lot of ground now. It was way too far to turn back. The road ahead was still uncertain, the distance to the border fence unknown.

Just go on, find the fence! Get out of here!

I pulled out my torch and switched it on. Then I strode forward. It soon turned to a jog. The light bounced around on the ground.

Oemfff!

Where was the lion? To my left I think. But the first roar was more to the back. Was I running in a circle? The very thought was like a kick in the guts.

That’s what you get for being a
smart-ass
.

Suddenly my foot caught on a rock. I stumbled and fell forward. The torch flew out of my hands. It died as it hit the ground.

Thorns tore into my palms. I could feel the blood running down my arms. It hurt, but I got up again.

Blood – would the lion be able to smell it?

There was a slight breeze coming from the right. I turned my head towards it. If the lion was still on my left, it probably meant that he could smell me.

Horrifying thought.

Lions are most dangerous at night
, that is what André had said. Lwazi had also warned me:
lions become totally different animals at night. It is their hunting time
…

I prayed that I would be safe. But would I?

We had come across that snake earlier today – Simoshile said it could be an ancestor coming to warn me of danger. I didn’t believe in that crap. But now it seemed all too true.

Oemfff! Oemfff!

I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to stop the incredible reverberation. Even my insides seemed to shiver with every powerful roar.

The sound now came from the right. Was he circling me? Trying to find the right moment to attack?

The strangest smell hit me right in the face. An odour so strong, I knew it could only be him.

My senses were on high alert, as I was sure his were too. I had now heard him, caught his pungent scent … But I was yet to see him. He stayed back, but haunting thoughts warned me: he was watching me from the dark. Stalking me.

I didn’t want to run. It would be futile. He could catch up with me in seconds if he wanted to.

I stood there transfixed, a numbing fear in my heart.

I thought the tension couldn’t mount any more, but then suddenly: two eyes, flashing briefly in the dark.

It scared me even further. He was not that far off. And he was staring right at me!

I panicked. Staggered back, fell and scrambled to my feet again. My backpack was heavy. I ripped it off and dropped it at my feet.

The hunter and the prey. I was now caught in the age-old game of survival. And the lion hadn’t even made his first move yet.

I could hear my own heartbeat, the rush of blood in my ears, a strange sound escaping my lips.

I remembered Lwazi telling us that lions sometimes just want to scare people
off. They would head straight for someone, just to stop short in a cloud of dust.

I hoped this would be the case here too, but somehow I doubted it. I was a mere animal to him. Not a person, to be afraid of. This was his territory. And I was nothing but dinner.

If I was going to die that night, I just hoped it would be a quick death. And painless. But how painless could it be, having your stomach ripped open, your head cracked?

The terror raging inside me momentarily blinded me from everything else but me and the lion.

And then a search light shone over the bush. It jerked me back to a bigger reality, where there was more to the world than a scarred lion and a teenage boy.

There came the roar of an engine. The vehicle approached. The light fell over me, but only for a moment. Then it moved away,
across the field. And it stopped, pinned on the lion. Tawny, strong, bushy dishevelled mane. The scar above his left eye.

He was still watching me. Now I could see his piercing yellow eyes. The powerful jaws. Muscles rippled underneath his coat.

‘Buyi, stay calm.’ It was Themba’s voice. Soft, commanding. ‘It’s going to be okay. Don’t make a sudden move. Don’t run.’

‘It’s him!’ I stuttered.

‘I know.’ Themba was now approaching on foot. Carefully. I caught sight of him from the corner of my eye. He had a rifle with him. His other hand outstretched as if to calm me.

‘You’ll be fine,’ said another voice. It was Lwazi’s. He was standing behind the searchlight.

Easy for you to say, I thought. But then I realised I was wrong. Lwazi had already had an encounter with this lion. And he had lived to tell the tale. I could too.

‘Calm, stay calm,’ said Themba. ‘Don’t look him in the eye, Buyi. He would see it as a challenge. Keep your head down.’

I dropped my head, but my eyes kept on tearing back to the lion. I had to know if he was about to charge.

The lion took one careful step closer. My heart jumped.

‘Stay calm …’ said Themba.

Another step.

‘Take a deep breath. You’ll be okay.’

Closer.

The lion’s dark mane moved across his shoulders and head. His eyes flashed. Fearless yellow eyes lined with black. His jaws opened for a second; exposing the sharp, white incisors.

‘No!’ I cried. The word slipped out before I could stop it. Fear had got the better of me.

I crumbled.

A yellow streak of lightning. Power, speed and death rolled into one.

Themba moved in-between me and the lion. A shield.

The lion leaped forward. Claws out. A roar escaped his throat, echoing through the night. Shaking the earth below me.

The lion struck Themba square on the chest. The rifle flew from his hands. A shot went off from the impact as the rifle hit the ground.

Themba crashed down on me. The lion was there too, pinning us both to the ground. His mighty body crushing us.

Again the roar. Muscles rippling.

I gasped for breath, choking on the billowing cloud of sand enfolding us.

We’re going to die!

The claws ripped through the skin on Themba’s face. The lion’s jaws opened. The pink insides of its mouth, its tongue, razor-sharp teeth right before me. Saliva glistening.

And then the shot!