Scars and Songs (24 page)

“Nope, not with you,” I shook my head.

“Whatever,” she said and stormed off.

I kept watching Grace.

A blonde girl walked in front of me next.  “Hey, you need some company over here?  You were really great on stage…”

“No thanks, I’m waiting for someone,” I smiled, cutting her off.

Grace smiled at me when the blonde walked away.  Lea and Conner stood next to her, all three obviously talking about me.  When they started walking towards me, I reached over the bar and pulled up three more shot glasses, the saltshaker and a handful of limes on a napkin.

We each did a shot in silence.  Then Lea winked at me and grabbed Conner to the side, leaving Grace and me alone.  Lea silently mouthed to me that her and Conner were going home and to have fun. 
I have to remember to buy that girl chocolate
. 
Chocolate, flowers, shit, I’ll buy her diamonds if she would help me break down Grace’s walls
.

I poured two more shots and gently took hold of her hand.  Taking a deep breath, I stuck my pinky into her shot glass, slid my wet finger over the back of her hand, and then salted it.  She watched every move I made, biting down on her lip.  Slowly, her eyes rose to meet mine and she licked the back of her hand and tilted back her drink.

“I bet you make that taste like heaven,” I said having trouble swallowing.

Smiling, she placed her glass back on the bar and looked down at it.  Then she tilted her head up at me.  “Shane, I watched you before.  You didn’t have to say no to those girls because you think you have to stay with me tonight.  You don’t have to stay over to babysit me instead of doing your usual thing.”

I could seriously just kiss her mouth shut right now.
“That’s what you think?”  I turned around to face her, shifting my body closer to her.

A flash of crimson flushed through her cheeks.  “It’s what Conner said when he saw you standing here letting those girls walk away from you.”

“You didn’t answer my question.  Is that what
you
think?”

“I didn’t think about it at all.  I just don’t want you to do something you don’t really need or want to do.”

I leaned in closer, brushing my cheek against hers, to whisper in her ear, “Funny thing is, Grace, needing and wanting is exactly what I am doing right now.  And, just for the record, it’s
not
those girls I need or want.”

I gently took her arm and sprinkled a small pinch of salt on the soft skin of her inner wrist.  I slowly raised her arm to my mouth and I lightly pressed my tongue against her skin, skimming it across the surface.  She tasted as sweet as fucking honey. Her breath caught and her body shivered.  I downed my tequila and squeezed the lime into my mouth, “God, Grace.  You do taste like heaven,” I whispered breathlessly.

The splash of crimson that had fallen across her cheeks before, deepened and traveled down, spreading itself across her chest.  “I think I should go home now.  I’m...really...tired.”  She whirled around and practically ran towards the bathroom. 

“Then I’m going too,” I yelled after her, but I lost her in the crowd.

I ran all over the damn bar trying to find her for a good fifteen minutes.  Her guitar was still on stage where she left it and I didn’t think she would have left without it.  I grabbed my phone and texted Lea.

Shane: Is she home already????

Lea: Yep, she just ran in

Shane: On my way

I grabbed both our guitars and ran to Grace’s without saying goodnight to anyone.  Ethan saw me on my way out the door and nodded to me, but that was it.

When I got to the apartment, I banged on their front door.  Conner let me in with a scowl on his face, “Shane, what the hell?  Are you trying to knock the damn door down?”

“Where is she?”

Lea smiled at me.  “Bedroom.”

I started to make my way down the hallway, but then I ran back to Lea and grabbed her by the shoulders, “Lea, tell me right now.  Do I have any chance whatsoever with her?”

Lea looked into my eyes and I could see a dozen different answers there, but she offered me just one.  “Yeah, Shane, I think she’s got some sort of feelings for you, but she isn’t going to ever…” Then she stopped and searched my face for something and gave me a tight smile.  “If you could make her forget her past, Shane, then yeah, you have one hell of a chance, because I’ve never seen her look at anyone like she looks at you.  But she will fight you every step of the way.  Now go in there and make her forget her past, you sexy bitch.”

I smacked a kiss on her forehead and left her standing in the hallway.  All I needed to hear was that I had a chance.  I ran down the hall to Grace’s room. “Grace...” I thumped my forehead up against the door.  I knew in my soul that in some way she was touching the other side of the door trying to keep that inch of wood of the door between us.

“Grace.  Please let me in.  I’m...sorry.”

I heard her move away from the door, sliding her hands along the grain of it.  I kicked my foot at the door, turned around leaning on it heavily, and slid my body down to the floor against it.  “I’m sleeping on the floor then.  Right here.”  Thumping my head against the door again.  “Oh.  Man.  This is so comfortable, Grace. 
Really.  Very
.”  I said sarcastically.

I watched under the door as the light went out in her room and heard the click of her bedside lamp being turned on.  I listened to her drawers open and close and to the sounds of her changing.

She wasn’t opening the door
.  Fine. 
I was going to make her
.

I ran back down the hallway and grabbed her guitar case from where I had left it when I came in.  I ran back to her door and fumbled to open her case as fast as I could.  The case flew open and I almost lost the grip of the instrument and cursed loudly as the case fell to the floor. 
Well, at least I didn’t drop the guitar
.

From her room, I could hear the rustle of her covers and the creaks of her bed as she slid in. 
I’d be shit out of luck if she had her ear buds in
.

I cleared my throat, kicked at the door again and then played her guitar. 

I played a slow melody I knew she had never heard before.  Its beginning was low and wistful, transforming into a passionate yearning melody.  I hummed along with the tune, whispering the words about how much I wanted to be with her.

Her door flew open and she stood there with a small little tank top and those insanely sexy boy shorts on.

Her eyes were glued to her guitar as I walked in. 
God, she was so damn beautiful
. 

I pulled the strap over my head and carried the guitar into her room, kicking the door closed behind me. “Please, look at me, Grace.”

Sliding the guitar out of my hands, I leaned it against the wall.  Her eyes stayed on the instrument.

“Grace, please look at me.”  I stepped closer to her, blocking her from staring at the guitar.  I kept moving closer to her as she moved backwards, still staring at her guitar, until I got close enough to touch her chin and lifted her face to mine.  “Grace...I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to...”

She backed up another inch and gently hit her back to the wall.  Smiling down at her, I rested my forehead against hers.

“Tell me.  Tell me, Grace, that you don’t feel this. 
Please
.  Tell me and I will walk right out of here.”  I touched my lips to her jaw and listened to her jagged breaths.  Slowly, I melted my body against hers, one hand slowly sliding down her arm to her waist, feathering my fingertips along her skin.  She felt like silk.

I pulled my head away to look at her and pleaded, “Talk to me, Grace, please.”

Her body moved with mine and she slid her hands up my chest and grasped my shirt tightly in her fists.

I couldn’t take it any longer; I twisted my fingers through her hair. “Grace...One kiss, please.  Let me taste you,” I pleaded, pushing my body harder against hers.

Her heartbeat raced in her chest and she arched her body against mine. A small moan escaped from her lips.  “Shane...” Then she stood on her tiptoes and brushed her lips slowly over mine.  Both of us hesitated, breathing in each other.  My entire body came alive and I tightened my hold on her.

“Say my name again,” I said, as I slid one of my hands down to her hips and pulled her leg up around me.  Her breath came out in soft desperate pants and her scent surrounded me.

“Shane,” she whispered, moving her lips over my mouth.  My whole fucking body trembled.

My head was spinning and my skin was on fire. I couldn’t hold back anymore.  I growled low, and crashed my lips into hers.  She moved her lips with mine, opening them to let me in.  I skated my fingers beneath the lace of her panties and she answered me by sliding her hands through my hair and down to my shoulders.  She dug her fingers into my skin, which made me kiss her deeper and harder.  She tasted sweet and delicious.

I tore my lips away, panting, and stared into her eyes.  My fingers slowly slipped deeper under the very wet lace of her panties.   I wanted to watch her expression as I slid my fingers inside her.

“Shane.  Stop.  I can’t...” I saw the tears brimming in her eyes.  She didn’t want me to stop, but she couldn’t let me go further either.

I let her leg slowly slide down my hip and moved my fingertips up to her neck, until both my hands cupped her face. 
I love you, Grace
. I looked into her eyes, “Grace...I think I…”

She stretched her fingers across my chest.  “Please.  Shane...don’t.  This was a huge mistake.”  Yet, she still tugged me towards her as her fingers closed into fists clenching at my shirt.  One tear streaked down her beautiful face.

“Grace...please.  You would never be a mistake to me.”

She let go of her hold on me, walked to the window and pushed the curtain back.  “Shane, drop it.  I’m not one of your groupies that you just met at the bar, I wasn’t screaming for you and throwing my clothes at you, and I don’t give a crap how good you play or how sexy you look on stage, none of it will make me sleep with you.  So just keep the normal line you feed to your skanks to yourself,” she snapped.  She wiped at the tears in her eyes.

I grabbed her by the waist, lifted her off the floor and tossed her on the bed.  I dove on top of her, straddling her, pinning her arms above her head.  She bit that plump little lip of hers the whole time.

“Shut. Up.  Don’t.  Just don’t say anything else.”  I moved my body next to her and grabbed her into my arms.  “Just sleep, Grace,” I whispered, pulling her closer to me.  Then I gave her one single kiss on the tattoo of her angel’s wings and her warm body relaxed and snuggled into mine. 

I tangled my legs with hers and clung to her, aware of every inch of where our skin touched one another’s.  My heart pounded against her body and my fingers burned each time I slid my hands across her flesh.  She stole my breath away and crushed her body to mine, until we both fell asleep in our desperate embrace.

Lying with Grace in my arms all night was better than heaven. 

I woke up slowly and not alone.  I smiled to myself since it was completely the first time in any of my existences for that to have happened because I wanted it to, not because I passed out the night before by mistake.

Grace shifted a little in her sleep and a sweet moan escaped quietly from her lips.  The lips that were gently brushing my chest as her body lay tangled comfortably over mine.  I brought my hand
softly through her silky hair and slowly slid it down her back.  She nuzzled closer to me.  God, my entire body was awake and completely aroused,
and
moving from the raw ecstasy of being underneath her was not what I wanted to do. 

I watched her sleep for a while, and then I slipped out from under her.  I think my heart broke when I
was no longer touching her. I walked through the apartment silently, visited the bathroom, and then made Grace a cup of coffee. 

I climbed back into her bed and slowly traced my fingertips down her spine to wake her up. 

She bolted up; hair tumbled wildly around her face and her eyes were wide.

“Hey, I got you some coffee,” I said.

Without hesitation, she grabbed the coffee and sipped it.  A blank look crossed her face, and then she slightly shook her head and narrowed her eyes.  “Thanks.  Did you make this or did Lea?”

My body tensed and a wave of heat flushed through me, causing me to break out in a sweat.  I stood up, yanked off my shirt in anger, and threw it in her hamper.  “Don’t worry, Grace, they’re still sleeping. No one will think we had sex, and if anyone asks, I’ll make sure everyone knows you don’t want me,” I snapped, as I rummaged through a bag near the door I had Ethan bring over the day before.

Indifferently, she took another sip of her coffee and placed the cup on the nightstand.  She untangled herself from the sheets slowly.  “I didn’t ask that to see if Lea or Conner thought we slept together. I was just wondering if
you
or
Lea
made the coffee, exactly like I asked.”  When the sheets were untangled, she stood up from the bed and stretched her arms over her head.