Scars and Songs (29 page)

“Later, bro, stay safe.”

I clicked off my phone.  “They made it there okay.  Conner says the roads are getting worse. They are talking about white out conditions on I-80.”

Thick chunks of snow collided with the windshield; the wipers could barely stand against the attack.  “We can’t go back now.  It’s fine. Look,” she pointed through an almost opaque windshield. “The roads aren’t so bad.” 

“Oh my God, you
are
trying to kill us.  Lea is right, you really do have some sort of a death wish,” I said.

Eye roll. 

“Do you want to explain to me why you are driving in this insane blizzard to get to someone you don’t want to be with?  Or am I wrong about you and Tucker?  Or Blake, you know the guy you don’t know anything about but the fact that he has blue eyes.”

“I don’t want to be with Tucker.  Let me just concentrate on driving.” 

Shit, she didn’t say anything about Blake.  I should just tell her what a freaking dirty drug addict he is.  “Grace, just listen to me…” 

“Please, Shane, I won’t be able to drive if I have tears in my eyes.”

Aww, shit. 
I glanced over at her profile.  She was white knuckling her steering wheel, biting her bottom lip and I could tell she was fighting back tears.  I couldn’t be the one to make her cry.  I leaned my body against the door and watched her as she drove.  After an hour, I had to bite at my fucking knuckles not to scream about how much I was in love with her.  It was killing me not to tell her, not to let her know how much I was dying to be with her. 
Grace could make me forget.  She had this strange power over me, she made me want to stay human, and find a way to become a better man for her.

Slapping me from my thoughts, the explicit voice of Drill Sergeant Hartman screamed through Grace’s GPS telling her to take the next exit or he would unscrew her head and shit down her neck,
HOOO-RAAAA!  Shit like that is why I freaking think I love her.

The Jeep skidded onto the off ramp and almost slid into a snow embankment.  I grabbed the steering wheel, turning it into the skid, and somehow managed to straighten out.  “Damn, Grace, let off the gas!” I cursed under my breath.

She let out a low gasp. “We’re almost there,” she said.  “The GPS says we’ll be there in three minutes.  And, um, thanks for saving our asses,” she laughed, merging slowly onto a completely whited out road. 

Drill Sergeant Hartman’s voice screeched again, “What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?  You have exactly three seconds to get the hell out of this car. You’ve reached your destination,
you piece of amphibian shit!  Hoo-rah!”  Outside the windshield was pure white.  Grace’s mouth was positioned into a perfect
‘o’
and her eyes were wide with terror.

“Tucker’s driveway is right off this main road, so we are probably at the entrance,” I explained.

Her answer was to drive right into a damn snow bank and cringe.

“Looks like the drive is plowed in,” I said laughing.  “Try to pull up to the right more so you’re off the main road in case another plow comes by and doesn’t see us.”

For probably the first time ever in this twisted friendship, she took my advice and pulled her Jeep closer, shifted into park and pulled up the brake.  “Should we get out and walk from here?” she asked.

Suicide mission?  Fuck no! 
“Tucker’s driveway is at least three miles long because it’s part of the ski resort about a half mile up. The driveway even has its own name, and there’s no way we can walk in this for three miles.  I’ll call them and see if he can get to us with the snowmobiles.”

I tried calling, but I got no reception at all and when Grace tried, it went right to voice mail, so she left a message.  “Hey guys, we’re here, but, we’re stuck at the entrance of the driveway.  Um…can someone tell Tucker, so he could come get us with the snowmobiles?”  She glanced up at me and continued, “Kind of hurry, because it’s flipping cold out here.”  Then she hung up and stared at me.  “What should we do?” she asked anxiously.

“We should stay in here until we can get them on the phone.  That way, Grace, we won’t die out there in the pretty white stuff,” I teased.  “Kill the ignition, so you don’t waste the gas.”

A tremendous gust of wind blew hard against the Jeep making it sway, which caused Grace to try to call Conner and Lea on her cell phone again frantically.  She still couldn’t get through.

I was hoping they wouldn’t get any of the messages; I liked being in a tight confined space with her.  I shifted around in my seat to face her, “My ass is asleep from sitting so long. Is that even possible?  Wanna rub it for me?” I laughed teasingly. 

“Shut up,” she laughed back shaking her head.

I tried to make myself more comfortable in the small box she called a vehicle, but no deal. I was way too big for the Jeep.  As I moved around, I skimmed my hand lightly across her knee, and I watched as her entire body shivered. 
Fuck me, it wasn’t even cold in here yet
.  Was that from my touch?

I bent forward, sprang the handle on the seat, and pushed it all the way back.  “You’re cold already, climb over here,” I whispered, locking my eyes with hers.

She held my gaze for a moment before she looked down and whispered sadly, “That’s not necessary.” 
I could plainly tell she wanted to, but just wouldn’t let herself
.

Outside, the wind screamed louder, and inside, an icy draft blew in, dropping the temperature faster.  “What’s in your glove box?” I asked, wondering if she had any supplies we could use like a flashlight, or matches or even a freaking umbrella.  A damn blanket would have been useful too.

“My glove what?” she asked, confused.

I shook my head, laughed and pointed to the dashboard right in front of me.

“Oh, you mean my
glove compartment
.  Trust me, there’s nothing in there you’ll want to see,” she explained teasingly. 
Now she’s flirting with me?  Women really do confuse the hell out of me.

“
Glove BOX
.  And is that supposed to make me
not
want to know what’s inside it?” I laughed and flirted back.  “Because, trust
ME
, it doesn’t.”

We both reached for it at the same time, but I got to it first and flung it open.  About half a dozen tampons flew out at me. 
Ugh.  That’s the freaking equivalent of taking an ice cold shower.

Grace laughed uncontrollably.  “I told you it’s nothing you’d want to see, so why do you always have to try to get your way?”

I reached my hand in and felt around, throwing the last tampon on her lap.  “Because I was hoping you had one of these,” I said smiling, holding up a flashlight to taunt her with it. Our eyes locked when I lobbed the flashlight back inside and closed the
compartment
.  A loose strand of silky hair fell against her cheek and I couldn’t help but tuck it gently behind her ear.  Another shiver rocked her body.  I pressed my lips together tightly and closed my eyes for the briefest of seconds so her beauty wouldn’t blind me to my senses.  I was desperate to kiss her but I still needed time to earn her trust.  However, as I opened my eyes to her heart stopping gaze again, she shivered once more. 

I unzipped my jacket and slowly peeled it off.  “Come here, Grace, you’re freezing.”  I reached out for her, gathered her into my arms, and gently pulled her onto my lap.  I breathed her scent in deeply and held her tight in my arms, draping my coat over us.

Just like we were a perfect fit, she nuzzled right into my chest under the cover of my jacket. 
Right though my damn skin and into my heart
. 

She snuggled closer and giggled. 
Okay, now she’s really just trying to kill me
.

Loving the feel of her body against mine, I moaned and held her tighter, “What are you giggling at under there?”

She poked her head out from under my jacket, our faces so close to each other I could barely breathe.  Our lips were so close that, one more inch and they’d touch. 
I never wanted one more inch so much in my life
.   And don’t let your mind go anywhere else about me wanting more
inches
, because I don’t need any more inches anywhere on my body. 
Trust me
.

“I’m losing it,” she laughed.  “I’m desperate for some hot cocoa; you know the thick and creamy kind with those sweet sugary little marshmallows.  I want to sit near a roaring fire with my hands wrapped around the warm cup and I want to feel the velvety heat coat my mouth and slide down my throat,” she ranted. 
I freaking pictured it.  Thick?  Creamy?  Her hands wrapped around something and velvety heat coating her mouth, sliding down her throat?
  I was having sex with her already in my head. 

“God, Grace
, you can seriously make anything you say the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard.”  My eyes lowered their gaze to her plump lips, and without another clear thought in my head, I unzipped her jacket.  We locked eyes as I helped her slip her arms out of its sleeves.  Her breath pitched.  Wrapping both our jackets over us, I pulled her closer and nestled my face into her thick hair, and breathed her in deeply once more.

I slid my hands under her shirt and slowly traced my fingertips along the small of her back and up her spine.  Her skin was so smooth and warm it felt like she was melting in my hands.  I nestled my face in her neck and along her jawline a
s my own breath faltered.

She slowly slid her hands up the front of my shirt, and a soft moan escaped from between her lips. 
There was no way in the world I could stop myself now
.  I had to hear her moan like that again. I pushed myself up against her, nuzzling closer into her neck and gently pulled her into a sitting position with her legs straddling me.  Her body slowly rocked against me. 
Holy hard-on
.

She leaned her head back slightly and looked down into my eyes, and rocked her hips against me again.   I raised my hand to her face and traced my thumb softly against her lower lip.

“One kiss, Grace, just one simple kiss.  Baby, please,” I begged her.  I
needed
to taste her.  “Just one.”  I reached up, grabbed her hair and pulled her towards my lips.  Our lips were almost touching, breathing each other in as I ran my fingers lightly down her neck.  Then her lips touched mine.  It was barely a kiss; her lips gently brushed over mine, taking the briefest of moments to savor the intensity.  Her body trembled against mine.  “Damn, do you have any idea what you do to me, Grace?” My voice was low and husky, and our eyes were locked.  She simply took my breath away.  “Just one.  Grace...”

As soon as the corners of her lips lifted slightly, I just fucking kissed her, crushing my lips to hers.  She hummed deeply into my mouth.  I clawed at the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head.  I leaned my head back to look at her, all of her in front of me, and let out a long faltering sigh.  Pulling her in, I trailed kisses over her neck and shoulders, and across her torso. Gently, I grazed her skin with my teeth, biting her softly.  I could barely fucking breath
e, I wanted her so much.

Gently, I tugged the cup of her bra down, taking her to my mouth and licked her in slow circular motions; her nipples hardened under my tongue.  She shuddered in response.

Her fingers ran down my chest and settled on the button of my jeans, undoing them with a quick snap of her fingers.  With my tongue still working her, I slid my hands over her legs, up to the button of her jeans, unbuttoning it slowly.  I couldn’t stop the growls that were coming from the back of my throat. I had never wanted anyone like that before.

I tilted my head back to watch her as I laid my right hand flat against her belly and dipped my fingers slowly between the material of her panties and her skin.  Her hips hitched up towards me and rocked against me.  My fingers continued to travel down, ever so slightly, and I throbbed to be inside her. Our breathing amplified in the small confines of the Jeep.  I caught her bottom lip between my teeth and moaned; she rocked against me again when I reached the wettest part of her lacy panties.

She slipped her hands past my waistband and gently wrapped her hands around me, grasping and tugging my rock hard skin.  I closed my eyes, trying desperately to catch my breath and not explode from just her touch, like a twelve year old. 

Our lips devoured each other’s again until I pulled myself away.  “Please, Grace, whatever it is you’re going after, please try to find it here in me. I will try my best to be the man that you need me to be.”  As soon as the words left my lips, I knew I shouldn’t have said a word.  Her eyes widened as she pushed against me and leaned back.

She tore her hands out of my pants and cupped them over her swollen lips. She flailed and tried desperately to get off me. “Shane, I’m sorry,” she whimpered as her eyes filled themselves with tears.  Frantically, she looked everywhere trying to find some sort of way to escape.  She started the engine and blasted the heat; ice-cold air filled the small space.  She squeezed her hands around the steering wheel and sobbed loudly.

Gently, I placed my hand on her chin and pulled her face towards me.  “Grace, you have to know…I lost myself in you that night, lost myself somewhere in that kiss,” I said.