Scattered Colors (7 page)

A few nights later, I sat on my bed flipping through one of our old photo albums, looking at pictures of my mother. She’d always been crafty, and our bookshelves had been full of handmade albums she’s spent countless hours on. When we’d unpacked, I hadn’t bothered putting any of them on the shelves in our new living room. I’d kept them neatly stacked in my closet so I could go through them whenever I started to really miss her. My father hadn’t said anything, so I’d just assumed he’d forgotten all about them.

Each picture of her smiling face brought with it a memory that sent a twinge of pain straight through my heart. I gazed down at the picture of us at the beach standing hand in hand at the water’s edge, staring out at its beauty. I was ten years old when we’d taken that family vacation, but I remembered it like it was yesterday. I smiled through my tears as I recalled that day so vividly.

“Always watch the sun set, Freya. No matter how busy you are, or where you are, always take the time to enjoy the sunset.”

I looked up at my mom as she stared peacefully out at the water. “Why? What’s so special about them?”

She turned her head smiled softly down at me. “It’s the kind of beauty only God can create, sweetheart. Nothing in life can compare. You’ll never see anything as beautiful as the scattered colors that float across the sky. Every sunset is like a watercolor painting God made just for you. It’s a gift, but sometimes people get so busy they forget to appreciate what’s given to them every day.”

She reached down to stroke her fingers across my temple, tucking a piece of loose hair behind my ear. “I don’t want you to go through life so busy that you forget to look up and enjoy what God’s created for you. Even if it’s only for a second. Each and every one is special. Nothing in life is guaranteed, Freya. You can’t predict how many days you’ll have on this Earth, how many more sunsets you’ll be here to see. I want you to make me a promise. Always watch the sun set, baby girl.”

I turned from her to watch as the sun dipped down like it was falling into the ocean. “I promise, Mommy.”

I wasn’t able to fully grasp what she was telling me back then, but as I looked down at the picture her words came back to me, and I understood what she’d been saying. She might have run out of sunsets, but I could still make sure to take in as many as possible, enjoying every one enough for the both of us.

“Is that one of the old photo albums?”

I turned my head, surprised to find my father standing in the doorway of my room. I was so lost in old memories I hadn’t heard him arrive home.

“Yeah.” I reached up with one hand and brushed the tears from my cheeks.

“So this is where they’ve all been,” he said, a shadow of a smile on his lips as he took in all the old, handcrafted albums scattered across my bed. “I was wondering what happened to them in the move.”

I closed the book in my lap and ran my fingers over the cover lightly, somewhat saddened that my father’s appearance had cut my time with my mother and our memories short. “I didn’t think you’d notice.” I watched as my finger trailed a random pattern across the front of the album, refusing to meet my father’s eyes as I added, “I didn’t really think you cared.”

The feel of the mattress sinking as Dad sat down drew my attention to him. His hands lay in his lap as he stared off into space as if he was picturing my mother in his head. It was the first time since she’d passed that I really took the time to look at my father. His dark hair was smattered with more gray than it had been months back, the wrinkles around his eyes and lips more prominent. Dark rings circled under his plain brown eyes, giving them a sunken appearance. He looked tired…older.

“It’s not that I don’t care, Freya. I just can’t…”

“Cope,” I finished for him when he went silent, unable to find the right word.

“Yeah.” He sighed. “I guess you could say that.”

More tears pricked at the backs of my eyes as I turned away from him. I didn’t want him to see me cry. I hadn’t received a single second of comfort from him so far, and I refused to let him see me hurting. I’d been handling the pain alone for months by that point. “I’m tired. I think I’m going to call it a night. Was there something you needed?” I asked.

His shoulders drooped as he turned and smiled at me sadly, making sure to keep his eyes steady on a spot over my shoulder. “No, honey. I don’t need anything. I just wanted to see how school was going.”

My stomach knotted at his endearment. I wanted so badly to believe the moment was going to be a defining one for the both of us, that things were going to finally start looking up, but I knew better. Months later and my own father still couldn’t bear to look at me. He was drowning in his grief while I floated along in my own with no rescue in site. Nothing was going to change. Despite his detour into my bedroom, his expression and body language made it clear he didn’t want to be there.

“Fine, I guess,” I answered with a small shrug.

My father didn’t bother hanging around any longer. Standing, he brushed at a piece of imaginary lint on his slacks. “Well, I’ll let you get some sleep. Good night.”

“Night, Dad.”

He made it to the door before he looked over his shoulder. “I love you, Freya. Very much.” His voice broke at the end as his eyes shined with unshed tears. “I’m sorry.”

And with that he was gone. I pushed the albums aside and curled up in my bed. I cried myself to sleep that night, letting the weight of my tears pull me under, providing me with an escape from my lonely life, even if just for a little while

The next morning, Stella met me at my locker with a bright, cheerful smile on her face. “Freya!” she shouted, causing my already-pounding head to throb incessantly. The previous night’s tears might have helped to sleep, but they had caused puffy eyes and an aching head by the time the sun came up. I was in store for a miserable day. I could feel it.

“Shh,” I whispered.

“Oh, my God. Are you sick? You look like crap!”

I shot her a glare and started the process of opening my locker, turning the dial then whacking the door to get it unstuck. “Thanks a lot.”

She gave me a tiny smile and shrugged. “Sorry, but it’s true. Your eyes are all puffy and red. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I told her as I reached into my locker for my book before shutting the door. “Just had a long night. Let’s get to class.”

Thankfully, she didn’t ask any more questions as we walked into Mrs. Wilkins’ classroom. We took our seats and I couldn’t help but notice Parker hadn’t made it in yet. However, his little friend
Brynn
was there, already giving me the stink eye. Although I’d managed to go a few days without any more unwanted attention from Parker, I
hadn’t
managed to get on Brynn’s good side. Each morning, she looked at me with the same expression of contempt painted on her face.

“What’s her problem?” I whispered to Stella as I leaned over to take my notebook out of my bag.

She leaned closer to me after peeking around to make sure no one was watching. “Brynn is Cassidy’s best friend. That whole crew thinks Parker is Cassidy’s property or something. I guess she saw how he’s been looking at you and didn’t like it.

Great, just what I needed, some band of Barbies putting a bullseye on my back at the very beginning of the year.

“All the guy did was talk to me,” I told her. “That’s it. We aren’t even friends.”

Her expression held a combination of skepticism and concern as she said, “Well, either way, I’d be careful if I were you. Those girls can be really nasty when they put their minds to it. And trust me, that’s pretty much
all
they put their minds to.”

“Well, that’s just perfect. The last thing I need is to be on their radar.”

“Oh, sweetie, I hate to break it to you, but you’re already there, front and center. With how Parker acted around you that first day, it’s all anyone can talk about.”

I opened my mouth to tell her there was nothing between the two of us when Parker came walking into the classroom just before the final bell rang. I tried not to look, but my eyes had a mind of their own as he sauntered through the room like he owned the place. I held my breath as he walked past, sliding into the desk right behind me. It didn’t do any good. That strange pull I felt every time he was around hadn’t lessened any since the evening before.

“Hey, Stella. How’s it going?” My bewildered gaze shot over to Stella, stunned that he spoke to her after not having a clue who she was just days before. When I turned to look at my friend, she was wearing the same wide-eyed expression I was.

“Uh…hi, Parker. I…I’m good.”

“Awesome, glad to hear it.”

Mrs. Wilkins began talking from the front of the room as Stella gawked at me, her face screaming
what the hell was that
? All I could do was shrug.

My attention was pulled to the people behind me when I heard Brynn hiss at Parker. “What the hell’s wrong with you? Did you hit your head or something? Since when do we talk to white trash?”

I wanted to reach around and smack the makeup right off her face. However, I stayed silent, unmoving, too interested in hearing Parker’s reaction to do anything else.

“
We
don’t do anything.
I
can talk to whoever I want, whenever I want. Get the stick outta your ass, Brynn. You’ll be more comfortable.”

I tried to hold down the laugh that wanted to escape at his retort, but unfortunately all it did was make it come out in a loud snort. The cough I followed up with did nothing to mask that I’d been listening in, and when I turned around to look, Brynn was glaring at me so hard I thought lasers were going to pop out of her eyes at any moment.

Luckily, Mrs. Wilkins spoke up right then, “Okay, class. You’re in for a treat today. I’m going to have you partner up with another student…”

A collective groan rumbled through the room at the thought of whatever team project our teacher had planned. And I swear, Mrs. Wilkins grinned at everyone’s misery.

“We’ll be reading
The Crucible
,” she stated as she began handing out papers. “I’ve put together a list of discussion points I want you and your partner to go over. At the end of the month, I want a four-page paper with your opinions on each topic.”

I started to shift my desk toward Stella’s, assuming I’d partner up with her, when Parker’s voice rang out.

“Mrs. Wilkins, I’d like to volunteer to be Freya’s partner. You know, since she’s new and doesn’t really have any friends.”

My cheeks instantly burned red and the tips of my ears heated with embarrassment as everyone around me chuckled.

“How chivalrous of you,” she replied banally. “But how about we ask Freya what she wants, hmm?”

Curious eyes gawked at me from all different directions, waiting for my answer. I opened my mouth to speak, but all that came out was, “Uh…”

“Fantastic!” Parker exclaimed with a clap from behind me. “Let’s get our learn on.”

The sound of desks shuffling echoed off the walls. I shot a look at Stella who was giggling at my dilemma as she moved closer to the kid on her right. The traitor.

“That desk isn’t going to move itself.” Parker laughed, clearly enjoying my discomfort. Begrudgingly, I began to spin my desk around to face his, moving as slowly as I possibly could.

“You just don’t give up, do you?” I whispered once we were face to face. It took all my energy not to get sucked into those eyes that seemed to see everything. Parker’s lips quirked up in a knowing smirk, drawing attention to his ever-present lip ring. “What can I say? I’m a persistent guy.”

“And I said I didn’t want to make any new friends,” I shot back. My emotions were rioting inside of me, one side annoyed he was becoming such a nuisance while the other was secretly thrilled at his attention. For as much as I didn’t want to be near him, I found myself drawn to Parker, even when he wasn’t around. During the times I wasn’t wallowing in my own heartache, my thoughts were all about him. I thought about what he might see when he stared at me so intensely, about what that messy hair would feel like if I ran my fingers through it. My traitorous mind even focused on what his lip ring might feel like if I were to kiss him. Parker was dangerous for me. But even though I knew that, I was still undeniably fascinated by him.