Screen Burn (54 page)

Daly, Tess,
1
,
2

Dance, Charles: menacing voice,
1
;  

liberates Iraq on clockwork dog,
2

Daniel Deronda
(BBC1),
1
,
2

David Blaine: Above The Below
(Sky),
1

David, Larry,
1

Davidson, Jim: provokes tooth-grinding,  
1
;

compared unfavourably to a bit of  rag on a stick,
2
;

experts define  worthlessness of,
1
;

endured by
Wogan
audience,
1
;

almost responsible  for destruction of Earth,
1
;

sawn  open in vivid fantasy,
1
;

among  worst of decade,
1

Davies, Andrew: envious speculation  regarding bank balance,
1

Davies, Alan: hunts notional pig,
1
;  

Christ, no, anyone but him,
2

Dawson, Les,
1

Dawson’s Creek
(C4),
1
,
2
,
3
,
4

Day, Darren,
1

De Caunes, Antoine,
1

Deadly Spitting Cobras
(ITV),
1

The Deal
(C4),
1

Death By Home
(BBC1),
1

Deayton, Angus: and Osama Bin Laden, 
1
;

falls from grace,
2

Dennis, Les: dances to Steps,
1
;

nation debates potential suicide of,
2
;

has personal life mocked by jackals,
1
,  
314

Derren Brown: see Brown, Derren

Derren Brown: Mind Control
2
(C4),
1
,  
2

Des and Mel Show
(ITV1),
1

Diamond, Ann,
1

Dick And Dom In Da Bungalow
(BBC1), 
1

Dickinson, David: mysterious sex appeal of,
1

Diesel, Vin,
1

Dimmock, Charlie,
1

Dirty War
(BBC1),
1

Doctor Who
(BBC1),
1

Doctor Who, The Movie
,
1

Doctor Zhivago
(ITV1),
1
,
2

Dog Eat Dog
(BBC1),
1

The Double Life Of Jonathan King
(C4),  
1

Doyle, Craig,
1

Dr Fox: hammers nail through crab,
1
;  

compared with Simon Cowell,
2
;  

congratulates androids,
1
;

laughs  in face of progress,
1

Dreamspaces
(BBC3),
1

Drunk And Dangerous
(BBC1),
1

EastEnders
(BBC1),
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
,
5
,  
6
,
7
,
8
,
9
,
10

Emmerdale
(ITV1),
1
,
2
,
3

Enterprise
(Sky One),
1

The Entertainers
(BBC2),
1

Eriksson, Sven Goran,
1

Eurotrash
(C4),
1

Evans, Chris: gaudy stunts of,
1
;

fails to realise full extent of genius,
2

Faking It
,
1
 

Fame Academy
(BBC1),
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
 

Fame, Set And Match – Breakfast TV

(BBC2),
1

FANatic
(C4),
1

Fashanu, John,
1
,
2

Fastlane
(Sky One),
1

Faulkner, Lisa: shoved face-first in fryer,
1
,
2

Fear Factor
(Sky One),
1

Feltz, Vanessa,
1

Fielding, Yvette,
1

Finnegan, Judy,
1

Finney, Albert,
1

Flight Deck:
DC
9
,
1

Fogle, Ben,
1

Food Junkies
(BBC2),
1
 

football: Santa injured at stadium,
1
;  

tediousness of,
2
;

kills Rod Hull,
1
;

is worse than Jamie Cullum,
1
;

shouldn’t be televised,
1
;

smells and  is rubbish,
343

Fox, Edward,
1

Freeman, Ian,
1

Friendly TV network
(Sky
1
),
2

Friends
(C4),
1

The Frontier House
(C4)
1
,
2

Garnett, Tony,
1
 

Garraway, Kate,
1
 

Gascoigne, Paul: incomprehensibility of,  
1

Geller, Uri,
1
,
2
,
3

The Generation Game
(BBC1),
1
,
2

George Best’s Body
(C4),
1

Georgian Underworld
(C4),
1

Gladiators – The Brutal Truth
(BBC2),
1

GMTV
(ITV1),
1
 

Goodnight Sweetheart
(BBC1),
1

Goody, Jade: cackling,
1
;

meeting Robin Hood,
2
;

threatening to open  wormhole,
1

Grand, Tommy,
1

Grandstand
(BBC1),
1

Grange Hill
(BBC1),
1

Green, Tom,
1

G-String Divas
(Five),
1

Gwynne, Haydn,
1

Halliwell, Geri,
1

Hamilton, Christine,
1
,
2

Happiness
(BBC2),
1

Harbour Lights
(BBC2),
1

Harris, Rolf: proves tricky to pin down, 
1

Hattersley, Roy,
1

Have-a-Go Heroes
(BBC1),
1

Headf**ck
(Sci-Fi),
1

Hear’Say: adored by populace,
1
;

reviled by populace;
213

Helvin, Marie,
1

Hetchin, Paul,
1

Hewitt, Gavin,
1

Holby City
(BBC1),
1
,
2
,
3
,
4

Holder, Noddy,
1

Holiday Insider’s Guide
(BBC1),
1

Hollyoaks
(C4),
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
,
5

Holmes, Eamonn,
1

Hopper, Dennis,
1

Hotel Babylon
,
1

How To Watch Television
(C4),
1

Hull, Rod: killed by world’s most rubbish sport,
1
,
2

Human Instinct
(BBC1),
1

Humble, Kate,
1

Hunniford, Gloria: sits in skip,
1
;

fails  to spoil something,
1

I Am Not an Animal
(BBC2),
1

I Dare You
(Five),
1

I Want A Famous Face
(MTV),
1

I’m A Celebrity – Get Me Out Of Here!

(ITV1),
1
,
2
,
3
,
4

Icke, David,
1

If
… (BBC2),
1
 

If
…
The Generations Fall Out
(BBC2),
1

If
…
We Don’t Stop Eating
(BBC2),
1
 

Ingram, Major Charles: as folk hero,
1
;

meets Jade Goody,
2

The Inspector Lynley Mysteries
(BBC1), 
1

Irwin, Steve,
1

Isaacs, Mark,
1

It Shouldn’t Happen To A Chat Show Host
(ITV),
1
,
2

It’s A Girl Thing
(C4),
1

ITN News
(ITV1),
1
,
2

Jack Bauer (24): defies authority,
1
;  

drives technomobile,
2
;

is chased by  visibly erect Honey Monster,
1
;

loses  wife and child,
1
;

suffers breakdown,  grows beard,
1
;

wigs out completely,  
1
;

loses war on drugs,
1

Jackass
(MTV),
1

Jackpot
(BBC2),
1

Jackson, Michael,
1

Jagger, Mick,
1

Jamie’s Kitchen
(C4),
1

The Jerry Atrick Show
(Five),
1
,
2

Jez Quigley (
Coronation Street
),
1

Jim Davidson’s Generation Game
(BBC1), 
1
,
2
,
3
,
4

Joey (
Friends
),
1

John, Elton,
1

Johnny And Denise: Passport To Paradise
 (BBC1),
1

Jones, Terry,
1

Jonsson, Ulrika,
1
,
2

Jordan,
1

The Joy Of Text
(BBC1),
1

Judge John Deed
(BBC1),
1

Jupitus, Phil,
1
,
2

Justine (from Elastica),
1