“I wasn’t trying to avoid you,” he claimed. “I’ve been busy. You know what they say, a best man’s duties are never done.”
She looked skeptical. “Then shouldn’t it also be true that neither are the maid of honor’s? Nobody’s given me any duties, other than the toast I’ll have to make in a bit.”
“Ah, but your side of the equation doesn’t include Felicity and Martin,” he reminded her. “Boone wants me on high alert, and that’s even without his knowing about last night’s turn of events.”
Samantha glanced around. “Come to think of it, I haven’t spotted the oh-so-happy exes. Where are they?”
“Settled with their respective spouses at the moment,” Ethan assured her. “At separate tables. I switched a few place cards around to make sure they were nowhere near each other.”
“Cora Jane may kill you if she finds out about that,” she told him. “It took her weeks to settle on the seating arrangement.”
“I’ll take my chances. Better a lecture from Cora Jane than a debacle at the groom’s family table.”
She laughed. “You have a point.” She gazed at him expectantly.
“What?” he asked, pretending not to know why she’d sought him out.
“I was hoping for that dance you were supposed to save for me,” she said.
“Now?” he said warily, scrambling for a believable delaying tactic. “We should probably do the toasts, get our official duties over with before we start enjoying ourselves.”
She grabbed his hand. “Then let’s do that,” she said, leading the way to the front of the tent where the bridal party had been seated, at least until some of them had wandered away to evade prying eyes.
To Ethan’s dismay, she picked up a crystal champagne glass, beckoned for the waiter and had it filled to the brim before tapping on it to get the guests’ attention.
She turned and winked at her sister. “You know, when I was a little girl and Emily came along, I was just old enough to read her fairy tales. In the ones she liked the best, the handsome prince always came along to capture the heart of the beautiful princess. I think those stories shaped the woman she became, because when her prince came along, he stole her heart forever. Emily and Boone didn’t fall into each other’s arms and live happily ever after at first glance—they were only fourteen, for heaven’s sake—but I think that’s what makes their story so incredible. Their love never died, and when they got a second chance, they grabbed it.”
She lifted her glass. “To my sister and her prince. May your future be as joyous as you dreamed. To Emily and Boone!”
“To Emily and Boone!” The toast echoed around the room.
Ethan smiled down at the woman beside him. “And now I have to try to top that,” he said, drawing laughs. “I’ve known Boone for most of my life, from the first time his parents came over to visit mine with this scrawny little bundle in their arms. I have to admit, I wasn’t impressed.”
“Thanks, pal,” Boone said, lifting his glass in a mocking salute.
“Just wait,” Ethan scolded. “It didn’t take long for me to discover that this kid who was soon shadowing me everywhere was a talented athlete and a good friend, and he grew up to become an amazing man. He became the kid brother I never had, and now he’s one of my best friends, one of those who never shies away from the truth, even when it hurts.”
He lifted his glass in Emily’s direction. “At the very core of who he is, at his soul, there is Emily. From the moment they met, it was evident that they were meant to be together. Now, just about everyone in this room knows I’m not a big believer in love everlasting, but I can’t deny this truth. Theirs has lasted. And I can only stand here today in awe and respect and wish them years and years of the same emotions they’re feeling right at this moment.”
To his surprise, he actually felt the sting of tears in his eyes as he held his glass high. “To Boone and Emily. May you find all the happiness you deserve.”
“Already found it, pal,” Boone shouted. “Now it’s your turn.” He glanced pointedly toward Samantha, then grinned at Ethan’s discomfort. “Just saying.”
A cheer erupted from the guests, or maybe it was just from the Castles, but all Ethan heard was people chanting, “Kiss her, kiss her.”
Maybe it was meant for Boone and Emily. Maybe it was directed at him, but he couldn’t seem to draw his gaze away from Samantha’s upturned face, her expectant expression. What the heck? he thought, giving in to long-overdue temptation.
He pulled her into his arms and captured her lips, aware of nothing else but the way her mouth opened for him, of the way she molded her body to his, the heat and desire that were suddenly all-consuming. She was everything he’d anticipated, and then some.
He’d known it would be like this. He must have. That’s probably why he’d fought against his feelings for so long. He’d known that once he let her in, even a little bit, he’d be lost.
And right now, with both of them pouring heart and soul into that kiss, he knew his fight was over. He’d done the one thing he’d vowed never to do. He’d fallen hopelessly in love.
* * *
Samantha regarded Ethan with a dazed expression as he eventually released her. “Boy, when you fall off the wagon, you really take a tumble, don’t you?” she whispered, her voice breathless.
He smiled. “If you’re going to do something, you’d better give it your best shot,” he confirmed. “That’s always been my motto.”
“Want to go somewhere less public and do it again?” she asked hopefully. “You did say that once our official duties were complete, we were free to enjoy ourselves.”
She saw him waver for just a heartbeat, clearly tempted, but then that stoic resolve of his kicked in one more time.
“Maybe we’d better have that dance now, instead. If you and I get caught making out, speculation will run rampant. We’ll steal Emily’s thunder. She’ll never forgive us.”
“Or she could cheer,” Samantha told him. “This is what she wanted.”
“True, but probably not in the middle of her wedding reception.” He held out his hand. “Let’s dance. It’s a slow song. I can hold you close.”
“If that’s your best offer, I suppose I have no choice but to accept,” she said, following him to the dance floor. When she was settled in his arms, she whispered, “But fair warning. Don’t think I’m going to stop trying to seduce you tonight.”
“Duly noted,” he said.
She could feel his smile against her cheek.
They moved around the dance floor with surprising grace, Ethan’s firm hand guiding her.
“Okay, what’s up with the dance moves?” she asked. “You were great the other night, too. Have you been practicing for all the wedding festivities?”
He flushed under her scrutiny. “Not really.”
Samantha frowned. “But you have had dance lessons since your injury,” she persisted. “You must have. Your moves are totally fluid.”
“Okay, yes, I had a few lessons,” he admitted, clearly uncomfortable.
“Because?”
“Lisa insisted,” he said. “The people in charge of my rehab suggested it would help with balance and coordination. Since I thought it might convince her that I wasn’t going to trample her feet, I went along with it. I think we both knew by then that it was over, but I couldn’t make myself throw in the towel. I kept trying to prove to her I was the same man.”
Samantha regarded him with dismay, indignant on his behalf. “You aren’t the same man, though. You’re a thousand times better. You’re courageous and brave. You’ve overcome a serious injury that could have destroyed you.”
“I haven’t overcome anything that thousands of other soldiers haven’t had to face.”
“And you’re all heroes, Ethan. You’re worth more than a hundred self-involved, shallow women like Lisa.”
He looked a little startled by her fierce defense, even though she’d said much the same in the past. “You sound so sure of that.”
“I am sure of that.”
“What have I done to earn that kind of support?” he asked, sounding bewildered. “I’ve done nothing but give you a rough time since we met. Never mind years ago, when I apparently didn’t even notice you were alive.”
She shrugged off the past. “You were a big-shot football hero back then. I was just a kid. It’s little wonder I wasn’t on your radar, so you’re forgiven for that,” she told him. “As for everything that’s happened since our paths crossed this time, I get it.” She held his gaze. “I really do, Ethan. Sometimes I have a little trouble believing this is real myself, and I’m a big believer in love.”
“You’ve never let your doubts show,” he said.
“I figure one of us sitting on the fence was tricky enough. One of us needed to be all in.”
He looked startled by her choice of words. “And you’re all in?”
She nodded. “And don’t you dare let that terrify you. You’ll get there when you get there.” She shrugged, trying for a nonchalance she was far from feeling. “Or you won’t.”
“And you’re okay with that?”
“I’m not okay with it,” she said. “Of course not. But I can’t change it, can I? Your feelings are your feelings. I just want you to be sure you really know what those feelings are before you throw away this chance we have.”
He shook his head. “You scare me to death,” he said.
“How so?”
“You make it sound so easy.”
“I never said it was easy. Look at Boone and Emily, or Wade and Gabi. Nothing about their journeys was easy. I just believe love is worth all the hard work that goes into it.”
She glanced around the reception, then looked up into his eyes. “Looks like this party’s breaking up.”
He followed the direction of her gaze. “Looks that way.”
“What happens next, Ethan?”
He hesitated for so long, she thought she’d lost tonight’s battle, if not the war.
“You come home with me,” he said with just the faintest hint of anxiety behind the words.
She could read the vulnerability in his eyes, hear it in his voice. Even now, it was evident he feared rejection, if not in this moment, then later, when it could be even more devastating. She nodded at once, hoping that her eagerness would reassure him.
“Best offer I’ve had in ages,” she told him, meaning it.
“Maybe you ought to wait and see about that,” he said.
“Don’t,” she said emphatically. “Don’t you dare sell yourself short, Ethan.”
“Just giving you fair warning that I’m pretty rusty at this.”
Her heart swelled at the trust he was placing in her. “No matter what, you are man enough for me, okay? Nothing that happens tonight is going to change that.”
She was willing to guarantee it, but the relief in his eyes told her he was taking her at her word. She intended to see that she didn’t let him down.
18
E
than had never been more terrified in his life, not even in Afghanistan and Iraq. There he’d put his life on the line. Tonight he was testing his heart and soul. Samantha had demonstrated a level of blind faith in him that stunned him. That alone would have made him love her, but so many other reasons had already convinced him that he couldn’t let her go. Tonight, he knew he couldn’t let her—or himself—down.
He’d made love since he’d been out of rehab, even once with Lisa, though that had been a disaster best forgotten. She hadn’t cut him even the tiniest bit of slack or done anything to put him at ease. As always, it had been all about her, and he hadn’t been able to satisfy her, not the way he once had. She clearly hadn’t been patient enough to see if his awkwardness would change.
Other encounters had been more successful but hadn’t involved emotion, just physical satisfaction. At least they’d been reassuring on that level.
Now here was a smoldering-hot woman who wanted to put him first, who believed in him completely. And whether he liked it or not, his heart was engaged. Tonight wasn’t about sex. It was about forging something lasting, something with the potential to endure. That raised the stakes to a previously unimaginable level.
When he pulled into the driveway at his place, he cut the engine and turned to Samantha. “Still time to bail,” he said, injecting a light note into his voice as he made the offer.
She blinked at the suggestion. “Why would I do that?”
He shrugged. “Second thoughts.”
“I don’t have any.” A frown knit her brow. “Do you?”
“A whole boatload of them,” he admitted, then caressed her cheek. “But I want this, Samantha. I want to have this night with you. More than I ever wanted anything.”
She gave a pleased little nod of satisfaction. “Then we need to get out of this car before you change your mind.”
Inside, he paused in the kitchen. “Wine? I think I can even find a bottle of champagne, if you’d prefer that.”
She shook her head. “I want a clear head,” she said. “Or as clear as it can be after drinking all those toasts earlier.”
Feeling out of practice and out of sorts, he stood a second longer, then admitted sheepishly, “I have no idea what to do next.”
She laughed. “You can’t possibly be that rusty.”
“I warned you,” he reminded her. “Sex? I can do that. Making love? Not so sure. I feel as if I should have scattered rose petals all over, set the stage with candles. You know, given you the romance, but I refused to let myself even hope that tonight would turn out this way.” He gave her a wry look. “I was still deep in denial about where we were headed.”
She stepped closer and rested her hands against his chest, right above his thundering heart. “That’s very sweet, but you’re the romance, Ethan. Just you. That’s all I need.”
Encouraged, he scooped her into his arms, drawing a startled look.
“Seriously?” she said, though there was a smile spreading across her face.
“Scared I’m going to drop you?” he said, more lighthearted and confident than he could remember being for ages.
She snuggled closer, obviously putting her trust in him. “Not for a second,” she told him.
When he reached his room, he regretted again the lack of ambiance. The decor hadn’t much mattered to him. It was clean and the bed was big and comfortable. Right now it happened to be bathed in moonlight, so that, at least, was something. He settled her on the chocolate-brown comforter, loving the way her dress hiked up to reveal those long, shapely legs of hers. He’d been captivated by those legs for a while now.
“You’re ogling my legs,” she teased.
“I am,” he said unrepentantly. “Haven’t been able to get them out of my head since the day I walked into Cora Jane’s kitchen and found you there in nothing but my old football jersey. It’s not an image a man forgets.”
“How do you know that was all I was wearing?”
He grinned. “I knew,” he said, opting not to reveal the glimpse of bare bottom he’d caught. “A weaker man would have hauled you upstairs right that second.”
“And you’ve held out for a whole two weeks,” she said. “I’m awed by your strength of character.”
“Well, it’s been shot to blazes now,” he said, taking off his jacket, then loosening the collar of his shirt before settling on the bed beside her.
“Come here,” he said, rolling her on top of him, loving the weight of her, the way her curves fit his body.
He cupped her face in his hands, studying the way her eyes darkened with anticipation, the way the tip of her tongue moistened her lips. “How could any man resist you?” he murmured.
“It would take a saint,” she remarked, the teasing note back in her voice.
“Then you’ve got the wrong guy,” he said, giving himself over to sensations he hadn’t experienced for far too long.
And even as he rediscovered passion, he found something unexpected, the pure joy of abandoning all pretenses and falling head over heels in love. Amazingly, it felt nothing at all the way it had when he’d been involved with Lisa. As good as that had been in the beginning, this was a thousand times better, and not just because he felt this soul-deep connection, but because it felt easy, as if he’d spent a lifetime waiting for exactly the right woman and had finally found her.
* * *
Knowing what was at stake—Ethan’s unmistakably fragile self-esteem—Samantha had worried herself sick on the ride to his house. She had to get this right, had to prove to him that he had everything to offer.
In the end she discovered that her worries had been for nothing. They came together as if they’d been made to connect in this way, with surprising abandon and loss of inhibitions. Making love with him was magical, surpassing every fantasy she’d ever had. Even the potentially awkward moment when he’d removed his pants and revealed his prosthesis had passed in a comfortable blur, overshadowed by the sensations he was able to stir in her with a simple caress here, a long, slow stroke there.
“Oh, sweet heaven,” she said breathlessly, falling back against a stack of pillows. “That was...” Words failed her.
“Amazing?” Ethan supplied from his position on his back beside her. He lifted himself onto his elbow and studied her. “Or am I wrong?”
“Oh, no,” she said. “You are definitely not wrong.
Amazing
sums it up. So does
incredible
. Maybe
mind-blowing
.”
“Don’t go overboard,” he said, though he was smiling.
“Not going overboard,” she assured him. “I promise.”
There was a flicker of relief in his eyes. “I thought it was pretty darn good, too.”
“Pretty darn good?” she said indignantly. “I’ll accept magnificent, nothing less.”
He laughed. “Magnificent, then. I guess we can scratch one worry off that very long list of mine.”
“Oh?”
“Sex is not going to be a problem for us.”
“Oh, no,” she said fervently, then regarded him curiously. “What else is on that list of yours? I thought the fact that I’m here in your bed meant you’d crumpled it up and tossed it away.”
He hesitated.
“Come on, Ethan. Let’s get it all out there.”
“Even if it ruins the moment?”
“Nothing is going to ruin this moment,” she assured him. “Unless you’re planning to get out of this bed, put on your clothes and take me home.”
“Not on my agenda,” he assured her. “At least not before morning.” He paused, his expression thoughtful. “Or maybe afternoon.”
“Now you’re talking!” she enthused. “So, what else is on that list?”
“Distance,” he said. “I know New York isn’t the other side of the country, but it’s too far to suit me.”
She smiled. “Then isn’t it a good thing that I have a plan that will relieve your mind?”
He frowned. “It doesn’t involve me coming to New York, does it? The city makes me claustrophobic. Too many people crowded into one place.”
“Who knew you were such a small-town guy?” she said, shaking her head as if in despair. “One day you’ll come to New York, and I’ll change your mind. The key is choosing the right neighborhood, finding the small-town atmosphere within the big, impersonal city.”
“Not buying it,” he said. “It can’t be done.”
“Okay, skeptic, that’s just one more challenge for me to deal with,” she said. “But you can cross the worry off your list. New York is not a requirement for the future.”
“Oh?”
“Nope. You’re safe.” She hesitated, letting the moment build before her big announcement, or perhaps stalling for time in case it didn’t go over as well as she was hoping it would.
“Samantha,” he prodded. “Why isn’t New York an issue?”
“Because I’m coming back here. I’ve already started making the arrangements.” In fact, she’d called her landlord earlier this morning and told him to start looking for someone to sublet. Since apartments in her neighborhood were in high demand, it shouldn’t take long.
Ethan looked startled, then worried. “Not because of me, I hope.”
“No, you’re just a plus, at least if you want to be,” she told him candidly. “I want to open an acting school, teach a few classes, maybe eventually open a playhouse.”
She allowed her announcement to sink in, watched as he considered it.
“And that’s why you were so eager to meet Cass?” he guessed eventually. “You think she’s a potential student.”
“Maybe. We’ll have to see if she’s interested. I won’t waste her time or her money, though. I can’t do that to her, Ethan.”
He frowned. “So if these tryouts or whatever the two of you have planned for this next week don’t go well, you’re going to break her heart?”
“Not if I can help it,” she said, then added impatiently, “Give me a little credit. Cass matters to you, so she matters to me. And even if that weren’t the case, I know how tender young feelings are. My goal is to encourage these kids as much as possible, even if I refuse to give them false hope.”
He sighed. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Besides, Cass isn’t the issue right now. This is about you. Is this school something you really want? It’s the first time you’ve mentioned it.”
Samantha nodded. “Actually things started coming together for me the day I went to the high school for that rehearsal. I found myself wanting to jump in to help Mrs. Gentry, to find some way to cure Sue Ellen’s stage fright, to get young people excited about performing onstage the way I used to be.”
He smiled at her enthusiasm. “It’s a good goal.”
“I think so, and potentially a really rewarding one, but it’s not all about that. I want to be around family again. New York has been an amazing experience for me. I don’t regret a single second of it, but I’m ready to come home. And I made this decision before what just happened, so don’t get all paranoid and weird on me, okay?”
“I do not get paranoid and weird,” he protested.
“Oh, please.”
“Well, maybe a little. This is a scary change for me, letting somebody into my life. It was difficult enough when I thought you were leaving. Now that I know you might stay, it’s even more terrifying.”
“How so?” she asked.
“No easy out.”
His candor was surprising, but welcome in a way. “I’m only going to be in your life as much as you want me to be,” she assured him. “I’ll just be in the vicinity in case you decide you can no longer resist me.”
“I thought we’d just settled the fact that I have no resistance left where you’re concerned.”
She beamed at him. “So we did. Want to see if that’s still the case?”
“Why not?” he said eagerly. “As long as you’re right here in my bed, anyway.”
“Just what I was thinking.”
* * *
“We really didn’t think this through,” Samantha said as Ethan drove her back to Cora Jane’s at midday on Sunday. She glanced down at her maid of honor dress and the strappy, high-heeled sandals she was holding in her lap. The dress was a little the worse for wear, and hardly suitable daytime attire anywhere other than a wedding. The shoes, pretty as they were, weren’t made for comfort.
“Afraid everyone’s going to wonder what you’ve been up to?” Ethan inquired, his eyes sparkling with amusement.
“Oh, they’re going to know exactly what we’ve been up to,” she lamented. “They’re likely to give us a rousing cheer.”
“Think Cora Jane has a shotgun lying around?” he asked, suddenly sounding a tiny bit more nervous.
“If you’re lucky, it’s still locked in the closet,” she told him.
“And your father? What’s his reaction going to be?”
She frowned at the question. “You know, I have no idea. He was never one of those dads who waited up for us to get home from dates. I don’t think he’s especially protective. Then, again, he’s done a lot the past few days that’s taken me by surprise.”
“So he’s the wild card,” Ethan said, nodding. “I’ll do a preemptive strike.”
Samantha laughed despite the awkward situation. “Exactly how do you intend to pull that off?”