Seaside Secrets (16 page)

He had to have more of her, to please her and drive that ache of hers to near bursting. He lowered her hips to the bed and filled his palms with her breasts, squeezing her nipples until she cried out with pleasure and her inner muscles pulsed with need around the tip of his tongue. But he wasn’t done with her yet. Oh no. Amy had waited too many years for him to rush. His desire was her pleasure, and he remembered every detail of the pleasures she loved. He flipped her over and crawled up her body, rubbing his chest against her back the way she used to love, grinding his arousal against her bare bottom as he reached around and fondled her breasts. He settled his mouth over the back of her neck and sank his teeth in just hard enough that she gasped. A sweet, needful gasp. He slid one hand beneath her belly, then lower, to the sweet, wet crease between her legs.

“Yes. Oh God, yes, Tony.”

“Show me how much you want us,” he whispered. She used to love the way he took control. He was testing, to be sure they were still in sync after all these years. God, how he’d missed loving her.

She lifted her hips and pushed his hand lower, sinking his fingers into her wetness and moving in perfect rhythm to his efforts. Her breathing came in spurts as he licked her neck, across her jaw, and slanted his mouth over hers, capturing her cries of pleasure as the orgasm tore through her. Tony moved down her back, kissing and touching, stroking her heated flesh. He kissed her rounded cheeks and she went up on her knees, spreading her legs wide so he could plunge his fingers deep inside as he turned on his back and slid between her legs, so she was straddling his shoulders. She sank down upon him. She tasted familiar and sweet, salty and hot. So very hot. He caressed her with his hand, loved her with his mouth, until her body pulsed with pleasure again and she cried out his name. Her body trembled as he lowered her back to the bed and reached for his wallet.

She stilled his hand and he shook his head. “I’m on the pill. I never wanted to chance…”

“I can’t,” was all he had to say. He knew by the look in her eyes that she understood his hesitation. He’d risked her health once. He wasn’t going to do it again until he had a ring on her finger.

His fingers shook with sheer need as he rolled on the condom, then came down upon her again.

“Baby,” he whispered as he kissed her. She’d never minded kissing him when he tasted like her, and it never failed to arouse him. But he needed to know she was sure before he allowed himself to be inside her. There would be no reclaiming his heart after they came together again. “You’re sure? We can still stop.”

“Take me, Tony. Love the past away.”

He lowered his forehead to hers. “The past will always be there.” No lies. He’d promised to be the best man he could, and that meant pure honesty, no matter how much it hurt him to say it.

“Then love me through it.”

He pushed into her. She was tight, so very tight. He stilled, biting back the need to come.

“Christ.”

“Okay?” she whispered.

“Don’t move.” He smiled down at her, and her lips curved up.

“Isn’t that the fun of it?”

“You’re so tight, Amy. I’ll come.”

She nibbled her lower lip, and he began to move his hips in slow, purposeful thrusts.

“Christ,” he repeated through gritted teeth.

“I haven’t been with a man in a very, very long time.”

“Amy. You feel…” He touched his forehead to hers and closed his eyes, overwhelmed with pleasure.

“Holy…” he muttered again. His brain was stuck, scrambled, caught up in Amy.

“Fourteen years to be exact.”

His eyes opened at that. His heart nearly stopped.

She trapped her lip between her teeth again.

“Kitten?”

She shook her head. “I couldn’t. I’ve done other stuff, but…you’re the only man I ever wanted to be with.”

“Oh, baby. That’s a really long time.”

She shrugged beneath him and closed her eyes. He kissed her closed lids.

“I’ll make it up to you. One orgasm at a time.”

She smiled up at him and giggled softly.

“Are you okay? I’m not hurting you?”

“You could never hurt me.” She reached up and pulled his lips to hers.

Fourteen years
.
Holy crap.

Every shift of her hips pulled him closer to the edge, swallowing him deeper. She hooked her heels over his calves and met his thrusts with her own. Her head dropped back as she gasped a breath, and he thrust harder, deeper, filling her so completely he felt it the second the orgasm gripped her, and in a breathtaking instant his mind dove into a sea of ecstasy. She clutched his shoulders, arching, thrusting, rocking against him. Taking him deeper as he climbed to the peak of his own intense release. Amy bit into his shoulder as another orgasm claimed her. They rode the wave of her pulsating sex until the last shudder of Tony’s release rumbled through his body, then fell to the mattress on their backs and reached for each other’s hands.

Amy curled up beneath his arm as she’d done a dozen times that summer. Her knees rested over his thighs, her cheek on his chest, and her sweet, luscious body purred with gratification. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, allowing the memories of the past and the present to coalesce.

His sweet kitten was back.

AMY AWOKE TO an empty bedroom. She listened to the silence of her cottage and knew Tony had left. She had a fleeting thought that perhaps she’d made up last night in her hopeful mind, but when she rolled over and buried her nose in the other pillow, Tony’s scent remained. The unfamiliar ache in her pelvis and tightness in the muscles of her thighs and lower back were pleasant reminders. She smiled despite the discomfort. She exhaled loudly and covered her eyes with her arm.
Tony
. She waited for the longing and the inevitable pain that she’d been squelching for too many years, and when it didn’t come, it gave her hope that she could move forward. They’d talked about that summer, and she hadn’t fallen completely apart. And he’d loved her—oh, how he’d loved her. Like they’d never been apart.

Amy heard the slider open to the front deck. Her heart leapt.
Tony
.

“Hurry up.”

Jenna
. Amy heard feet scurrying across the floor and turned to find Leanna, Bella, and Jenna lined up in the doorframe with stupid grins on their faces and steaming mugs in their hands—two in Leanna’s.

“I saw Tony leave for his run,” Jenna explained as they piled onto her bed.

“And Sky said she tatted him up last night.” Bella leaned in close and whispered, “Kitten.”

“Oh my God.” She covered her eyes. “Isn’t there some rule of confidentiality with tattoo artists and their clients?”

“They’re
tattoos
,” Bella explained. “Think of skin like a billboard. Even beneath the waist.”

Amy groaned. Bella was the only one not wearing pajamas. Unless Amy counted herself, because she was quite nude beneath the blankets.

“Oh, come on, kitten. We think it’s cute.” Jenna curled her fingers into claws and pretended to paw at Amy while holding her mug in the other hand. “Meow.”

They all laughed.

“It’s not a sexual thing.”
Well, it kind of is
.

“Uh-huh.” Bella patted Amy’s shoulder. “You keep up that lie. We’ll back you up.”

Leanna handed Amy a cup of coffee. “Sit up and drink up. We want the scoop.”

Amy held the sheet over her chest. “Hand me a T-shirt?”

Jenna snagged a shirt from Amy’s drawer and tossed it to her. After putting it on, she sheepishly added, “And underwear,” to which Jenna laughed and obliged.

“Please tell me you’re not all sticky and stinky,” Bella said.

“Jesus, Bella.” Amy felt her cheeks flush. “I’m not. We showered last night.”

“Oh, this is better than I was hoping for. You showered together?” Jenna fixed her cami, which was slipping off her shoulder. She scooted closer on the bed.

The girls formed a semicircle around Amy. She felt a little like it was sharing time at school, but no student would be grinning from ear to ear with delectably sinful memories.

Amy sipped her coffee and gave in to her friends’ expectant gazes. “Yes, we showered together. It wasn’t like a real first date. I mean, it’s
Tony
.”
The man I made love to at least once a day the summer when I was eighteen. The only man I’ve ever made love to
. Only they didn’t know that. She bundled the guilt into a ball and mentally tucked it away.

“Well, that’s true,” Leanna said. “You guys have known each other forever. I’m happy for you, Amy.”

“Okay, enough mushy stuff. Was it wonderful?” Jenna leaned in close, eyes wide. “Or were your expectations too high? Sometimes that happens. You know, when you’ve thought about being with some guy for so long and then it’s like…
Oh, really? That kinda sucked
.”

“Been there, done that,” Bella added.

“Usually it’s the guy thinking that in my case.” Leanna frowned.

“Not true.” Amy had learned to cover her abstinence by embellishing what she
did
do with guys. She’d had to learn to embellish in college in order to save face with the other girls in her dorm who
hadn’t
lost a baby and given up the man they loved in the course of a few hours. That bundle of guilt rolled out again, and she kicked it away.

Leanna nodded. “Totally true, but I don’t care. Kurt loves how I am in bed, and he’s the only man I want or need. Gosh, remember how scared I was to sleep with him? I was so awkward in bed, and my rhythm was always off.”

“Kurt seems to have fixed that,” Jenna said. “Night after night after night, according to the sound track of your love life…thanks to open windows.”

“Remember that one guy I slept with a few years ago who said he’d
expected more
after we’d done it for nearly an hour?” Bella laughed. “What did he expect, a gold-plated coochie?”

They all laughed, while Amy wallowed in guilt. Her friends had shared their secrets over the years, but she’d kept hers close to her chest. So close it nearly smothered her.

“Right, Ames?” Bella tapped her arm.

“What?” Crap. She hadn’t realized they were talking to her.

“Wow. Last night must have been really something. You zoned out there.”  Bella pushed Amy’s mug toward her mouth. “Drink a little more before Tony comes back and wants to ravish you again.”

Amy’s mind sifted through potential outcomes of telling her friends what she’d gone through and how she’d lied to them. They’d never trust her again. How could they when she had kept such a big secret?

“Amy?” Leanna patted her leg. “Are you okay? Did things not end well last night?”

“No. It was perfect, actually.” More perfect than she could have imagined.

“Does this mean you’ll stay and turn down the job with Duke?” Bella asked.

“Oh God. Duke. What am I going to do?” Duke was a friend, and he was offering her an opportunity of a lifetime. Although she had accepted the job only a few days ago, she couldn’t just blow him off. Maybe he’d understand. But maybe she was rushing things. What if she and Tony didn’t work out? It had been a long time, and—

“Jesus, did he slip you a brain-numbing pill last night or something?” Bella asked.

“That would be called a triple orgasm,” Jenna quipped.

For once in her life she could actually agree with Jenna’s assessment and it would be true, but sharing those details of her and Tony’s intimacy seemed like a betrayal to him. Amy’s pulse sped up. There were so many things to think about, and she felt ill equipped to handle any of them.

“Okay, something is very wrong here.” Bella took Amy’s mug from her and set it on the bedside table. She brushed Amy’s hair from her shoulders, and her voice turned serious. “Honey, what is it? We’re here for you. If it’s good, bad, or complicated, we can help.”

“Maybe Tony couldn’t…you know,” Jenna whispered.

Amy shook her head. “It’s nothing like that. Tony is…He’s exactly who he’s always been. He’s a thoughtful and caring lover.”

“Than what is it?” Bella asked.

I need to do this.
She swallowed hard, trying to push away the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

“What I’m going to tell you might change our friendships, and I just want you guys to know how much I love you and that I do trust you.” Amy drew in a deep breath as the others exchanged worried glances.

“You’re scaring me a little.” Leanna set her coffee down and fidgeted with the edge of her pajama shorts.  

“Well, it scares me a lot.” She needed to come clean to her friends, no matter how much it hurt to do it. She had a momentary thought about telling Tony she was going to share their past with them, but one look at her friends and she knew she didn’t need his permission. This was her burden from the start. Her secret. It had to be her decision to reveal it.

She pulled her shoulders back and sat up straighter, needing to be brave. “Do you guys remember the summer before we went away to college?”

“How could we forget?” Jenna asked. “It was amazing. Parties, learning to surf, picking up those hitchhiking surfers in your convertible on the way to the beach.”

“Remember Leanna’s brothers trying to hit on the female lifeguards?” Bella patted the sheets while she laughed. “That was the funniest. The guards were like,
A nerd, a musclehead, and a guy who likes fireworks a little too much. No thanks
. Little did they know how hot they’d grow up to be.”

Leanna’s solemn eyes were locked on Amy’s, as if she saw the turmoil brewing inside her.

“What about that summer, Amy?” Leanna asked.

Amy dropped her eyes to the bed and contemplated playing off her silence as a joke, but she knew they’d never buy it. She’d had nine months to get her game face in place before returning to the Cape the summer after she’d had the miscarriage. Nine months…Long enough to have a baby, or forget you were ever going to. She’d had fourteen years to prepare for this moment, but not only had she not prepared; she’d blocked out the event entirely. There was no more hiding. If she wanted Tony, she had to accept what happened, and accepting meant honesty all around.

“Sweetie, what are we missing? Whatever it is, it’s not going to change a thing. I promise.” Jenna’s voice was so sincere that it deepened Amy’s guilt.