Seaside Secrets (25 page)

“Yeah, because a finance or business degree would have helped you to understand girls a little better.” She batted her eyelashes playfully.

“Or a marketing degree. It takes a bit of sales knowledge to really understand things like retail therapy, which I’m sure you’ll need at some point.”

Amy touched her forehead to his and smiled. His world righted itself again.

She mimicked his sarcasm. “If only you’d listened to your father.”

“If only...”

Their lips met, and Tony savored the kiss. They were sitting on the lawn of the cemetery beside his father’s grave and making out like he had just come back from war. In a way, he felt as though he had. Fourteen years was way too long to have such a skewed view of his father. It upset him that he’d carried around all those bad feelings for so long for a man who might not have handled things well at the end of his life, but really, who was Tony to decide the appropriate way to handle one’s mortality?

He had a lot of healing to do. They both did. At least now he felt as though he saw things a little more clearly. He needed to forgive his father in order to move forward with Amy. And while the path to forgiveness might be cloudy and dark, he had Amy to help him find his way.

OVER THE NEXT few days Amy noticed a lightening in Tony, from the way he walked to the look in his eyes. He’d shared memories of his father that made them laugh and cry. It wasn’t an easy undoing of Tony’s feelings from that harsh summer’s end, but it was a start, and Tony seemed open to dealing with his feelings rather than repressing them. Unlike Amy, who was doing all she could to ignore her upcoming meeting with Duke and to avoid going surfing with Tony. Not to mention dealing with her father.
One thing at a time
.

She and Jenna spent Thursday morning at the Wellfleet Library, looking through the romance novels. If only life was as pretty as Nora Roberts or Susan Mallery painted it to be.

“I think I’m going to start reading erotica.” Jenna set a paperback on the display table, then straightened the other books so the spines were all facing in the same direction.

“Erotica?” Amy shook her head.

“Uh-huh. You know, to make sure Pete and I don’t get bored in the bedroom.” Jenna reached for a copy of
Fifty Shades of Grey
.

“So, you’re suddenly into nipple clamps and bondage? Do they make leather bras that will fit your Beyoncé boobs?”

Jenna laughed. “I don’t want nipple clamps! Don’t you think they have some other ideas?”

“How would I know?” Amy leaned her hip against the table. “Are you and Pete having trouble?”

“No way. We have more sex than should be legal. Good sex, too. But how do you know if you’re boring a guy or not? I mean, I’ve never slept with a guy for a whole year before.” Jenna flipped through the paperback.  “I could never get bored of Pete, and he says he will never tire of me, but…” She set the book down, perfectly lined up with the others, and whispered, “I just want to make sure, you know?”

“Well, you’re barking up the wrong tree. I’ve been with one man, so everything I know, I basically learned from him. Or, you know, hands-on research.”

Jenna laughed.

“Besides, the way Pete is always all over you, I don’t think you have to worry. He’s so in love with you. You could lie there and not move and he’d be happy just to be close to you.”

“Yeah, I am pretty incredible.” Jenna threw her head back and laughed so loud two women looked up from a nearby table. She slapped her hand over her mouth. “Sorry,” she whispered.

They moved to another display of books.

“Can I ask you something else?” Jenna asked.

“Sure, not that I was any help on your first question.”

“Wasn’t it hard for you all those years, knowing Tony was seeing other women? I mean, we’ve all seen the pictures of him in the surf magazines. There were always women around him.”

Amy closed her eyes for a beat. That was one of her tender spots. She hated thinking about any other woman in Tony’s arms, but she’d turned him away. She couldn’t blame him for taking comfort in the arms of another…or many others. She took a minute to rein in her jealousy before answering.

“Every time I saw him in a magazine with a girl, I used the picture as a dart board.”

Jenna laughed. “And how’d you do?”

“Let’s just say that I started out as an amateur, and I’m now an expert.”

“See? Spin it positive. Now you have more skills.”

Amy rolled her eyes.

“You know Pete was with plenty of women before we got together. My take on it is that we should hold our heads up high. They may have played the field, but we’re the ones they’ll come home to for the rest of their lives.”

“I agree. Besides, they’ve dated enough women to know what they really want.” Even though Amy hadn’t needed to date anyone else to know that Tony was the only man she’d ever want. She was kind of glad to know Tony’d had his choice of women before her and that he’d chosen her out of all of them.

“Ames, how are you
really
holding up?” Jenna’s voice softened. “I’m here to talk if you want to talk about what happened…you know. That summer.”

“I’m good, actually. I never realized how hard it was to carry around that secret for so long. I’m glad I told you guys and even happier that Tony and I have talked about it.”

“But?”

Amy raised her brows.

“Come on. I see something behind those green eyes. What is it?”

“You do not. I’m fine.”
Liar, liar.

Jenna stepped closer and stared up at Amy.

“You’re intimidating for a shrimp,” Amy teased.

“I may be short in stature, but I’m tall in determination. Fess up. What’s going on?”

“I just…” Amy pulled Jenna over to the corner of the library. “Tony wants me to go surfing.”

Jenna arched a brow. “And?”

“The last time I went surfing was when…was that last afternoon that summer. Remember? I told you I wiped out and lost the baby?”

“Oh, right. I’m sorry, Ames. I don’t know what I was thinking.” Jenna’s eyes grew serious. “But you’re not pregnant now, so…” She gasped. “Wait? Are you?”

“God, no. But the whole thing is kind of scary.”

“Tony won’t let you get hurt.”

“No, not that kind of scary. Just…I don’t know how to explain it. What if it all comes back to me and I totally freak out?” Amy crossed her arms to give her wobbly legs stability. She lowered her voice again. “What if I have a panic attack or something?”

“So what if you do?” Jenna took her hand. “Honey, you’ll have Tony right there with you. He’s proved he loves you a million times over, hasn’t he? He waited as long for you as you did for him, even after you tossed him aside like yesterday’s news.”

“Hey.” She swatted Jenna’s arm.

“I’m just teasing, but really. If you panic, you panic. So what? So he holds you and tells you everything’s going to be okay, and you know what?”

“Yeah. I know
what
. Everything will be okay. In my heart I know it will be okay. I’m just overthinking again, I’m sure.” Amy sighed. “We’re going to the beach at high tide today, and I know he’s going to ask me to surf. Thank you, Jenna. Thanks for reminding me about what I really need to focus on. Tony will be right there. Even if I freak out, I won’t be freaking out alone.”
Now if I could only figure out my job situation
. Baby steps.

On their way back to their car, they spotted Theresa coming out of the market.

“Oh God. I bet she hates us,” Amy said under her breath, feigning a smile as Theresa headed in their direction.

“She might hate Bella, but probably not us.”

Theresa met them in front of Town Hall. “I thought you girls would be at the beach today. It’s gorgeous out, isn’t it?” She squinted up at the sky.

“We’re going later this afternoon when the tide’s in. Why aren’t you enjoying the sun?” Amy couldn’t remember ever seeing Theresa wearing a bathing suit besides the thong she’d worn to one-up Bella’s prank last summer, and that was an image she’d like to forget. Theresa typically wore something similar to what she had on now, a pair of pleated shorts and a polo shirt.

“I just had to pick up some groceries.” Theresa jiggled her grocery bag. “I thought I’d do a little weeding around the fire pit today.”

“Thank you for doing that,” Jenna said. “It always looks so nice.”

“Are you up for a couple weeks or just a few days?” Amy asked.

“I’ll be here for a few weeks this time.” Theresa turned her attention toward the street. “Assuming I’m not arrested anytime soon.”

Jenna and Amy exchanged a
holy shit
glance.

“Theresa, I’m sorry about Bella.” Amy stepped into Theresa’s field of vision as Jenna grabbed Amy’s arm.

After a minute of uncomfortable silence, Theresa finally turned toward Amy with a stoic look on her face. “No need to be sorry. I love Bella’s mischievous soul, but she’ll get hers.” She stepped off the curb and headed for the parking lot across the street, turning once to wave with a wry smile.

“Crap,” Amy said. “I think Bella’s in trouble.”

TONY STOOD AT the edge of the water with one arm around Amy and her surfboard in the other. She looked incredibly sexy in her blue bikini, but he felt tension rolling off of her. When they were packing for the beach, she’d told him she was ready to try to surf again. As much as he wanted to share every aspect of his life with Amy, he’d never push her toward anything that he didn’t feel she could handle. He knew she was nervous about surfing again, and he also knew it had nothing to do with skill and everything to do with the memories tied to her last wipeout.

“Ames, you don’t have to do this.” He pulled her against his side. “We can go our whole lives without surfing together.”

Her eyes pooled with emotion, causing his own to break like a tidal wave, bowling him over but not pulling him under. He felt more stable than he had since he’d lost her fourteen years ago, and he knew what he’d spent the morning planning was exactly what he wanted, regardless of how today’s foray into surfing ended up.

“I know we can,” Amy said. “But it’s time to put our past behind us. I loved surfing with you that summer. It was invigorating, and I felt like I was sharing in the most special part of your life. I want that again.”

He kissed her softly. “Babe, you’re the most special and the most important part of my life.”

She shifted her eyes to the water, and he felt her body stiffen. He tried to ease her tension with a distraction.

“Happy ten-day anniversary of our first kiss in fourteen years.”

Her brows drew together as her eyes shifted in his direction again. “It’s our ten-day anniversary of our kiss?”

He nodded. “And I’m taking you to dinner tonight to celebrate. Just the two of us.”

“Tony, the fact that you even
know
how many days ago we had our first kiss feels like a celebration.” She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek to his chest. “I love you so much.”

His heart swelled, knowing she was ready to move forward and they were both done hiding from the past.

With a loud exhalation, Amy stepped away and reached for the surfboard.

“Shall we get this over with?”

“Don’t sound so enthusiastic,” he teased.

Amy carried the long surfboard, and the sight threw Tony back in time. He pictured her at eighteen, smiling as she ran into the waves, wincing at the frigid water just as she was now.

“I told you to wear a wet suit.” He shook his head. She’d refused to wear one that summer, too.

“I told you how I feel about that.” She laid flat on the board and began to paddle out with Tony swimming by her side, one strong hand stabilizing the surfboard. “I look more like a seal if I’m wearing black.”

“Babe, you’re so hot that a shark would be too busy drooling to bite you.” He pushed her out past the waves with a grin that he had no chance of stifling.
His
Amy was braving the waves again.

For him.

For us
.

He loved her so damn much.

They were beyond the breaking point, waiting for the right wave to roll in. Tony was nervous for her, and he wondered if her mind was wrapped around that fateful day or if she was thinking only of this very second. He was going to ask, but he wanted her focused on now, and with the slight chance that she was, he didn’t want to distract her. She’d need every bit of her focus to be able to stand up on the board again.

She flashed a nervous smile, and a conflicting mischievous spark filled her eyes.

Yeah, she was nervous, and excited, and he loved knowing her thrill of surfing hadn’t been lost. Tony watched the waves building in strength. He touched Amy’s calf and felt her trembling, probably from the cold and the fear of being away from the board for so many years.

“You okay, kitten? This one looks good.”

Her green eyes took on the fierce determination that had surprised him years earlier.

“Oh, yeah. I’ve got this.”

God, he hoped so. “Okay. I’ll be right there with you, babe. Concentrate. You’ve got this.”

She nodded, and he swam away, giving her room and watching her like a hawk as the wave swelled, lifting her board. Amy grabbed the edge of the board.

“Come on, baby, pop up,” he urged through gritted teeth.

In one explosive motion she pushed her body up and tucked her feet beneath her. Tony held his breath. One foot slid forward as the wave rose, tipped her board, and knocked Amy into the sea. Tony swam as fast as he could, reaching her in seconds. She coughed and sputtered as he held her around her waist, keeping her head above the surface.

“It’s okay. I’ve got you.” He was so damn proud of her for trying. He kicked his feet to keep them afloat and snagged her board with one hand while holding her against him. “You’re the bravest woman I know. That was awesome.”

She laughed and pushed from his chest. “That sucked, and I’m going to do better. And yeah, I’m brave. But then again, I have a boyfriend to keep up with.”

He pressed his lips to hers, trapping their laughter. “No panicky feelings?”

“None, and I’m as shocked as you are.” She was breathing hard, kicking to help them stay up. “No panic other than being afraid I won’t get up on the board today.”