Seasons of Fate (17 page)

  
‘Babe, I don’t expect anything and if you’re not well don’t push yourself. I’m just glad to see you, even if it’s on screen.’

  
‘I love you, you know that.’

  
‘I know,’ we talked for a while longer but I could feel my eyelids drooping so he called it a night and said he would call tomorrow. I was asleep before I knew it.

   The next few days dragged on, they seemed endless and I continued to feel lethargic, exhaustion was never as issue before but this was starting to get ridiculous. To top things off, I began having dreams about being chased, but I didn’t know if it was a person or something else. This was adding to my fatigue. I missed several calls from Mase, it got so bad that he was making calls through John to make sure I was ok. I decided that maybe a trip to the doctor was in order so without telling anybody, I made an appointment with the local clinic to find out what the hell was happening.

   Dropping Lily off at school, I made my way over for my appointment. I hadn’t needed a doctor since the stabbing and before that, would have been my fall after Lily was born. I was never really sick, so this was starting to panic me. I filled in the registration forms as best I could and waiting until I was called in.

   Doctor Meyer was a sweet looking older lady, with salt and pepper hair. I felt completely as ease when she closed the door to her office.

   ‘Hello, Ms Clarke, what can I do for you today?’

  
‘Well, I don’t know where to start really. I have been feeling lethargic lately, I am literally falling asleep all the time, even when I’ve slept for nine hours straight. I thought it was just stress, I’ve had a lot going on, but I’m not sure anymore, plus I’m having these dreams nightly which is not helping.’

  
‘Ok, well lets start with the usual, any medications?’

  
‘No.’

  
‘Do you drink? Smoke?’

  
‘I don’t smoke, and I’m not a drinker, maybe a glass of wine every now and then.’

  
‘How’s your diet? Do you exercise?’

  
‘I try and eat a healthy diet, I haven’t really done a lot of exercise apart from walking.’

  
‘Ok, date of your last period?’

  
‘Ummm….I have no idea. I haven’t really been paying attention. They haven’t really been regular since having my daughter, and then I had a fall with some internal bleeding, it seems to be a bit hit or miss. Sorry, not very responsible, am I?’

I laughed. Truth was I didn
’t really have periods and when I did they were pretty non existent so I took little notice of them. Why was she asking anyway?

  
‘I see, have your been sexually active recently?’ Oh My God, I’m beetroot right now.

  
‘Ummm….Yes.’

  
‘Well first things first then, I need you to give me a sample. Let’s make sure you’re not pregnant before we move on to other causes.’

  
‘What? I can’t be pregnant. The doctors told me the chances were slim to none of me being able to conceive after my accident.’

  
‘Never the less, lets rule it out first, here the bathrooms just down the hall on your right.’

I walked out dazed, I mean what the fuck? There is no way. Holy shit, I need to go pee now. I found the loo and made myself mentally relax so that I could get this done. I washed my hands and walked back to the office. Dr Meyer took my sample over to a cabinet and pulled out what looked like long sticks, but were actually testers. She dipped them in my urine and waited. I started to feel warm, sweat started to build on my forehead, and it was like time stood still. Then I was brought back to reality suddenly when she walked in front of me.

   ‘What… I’m sorry I think I spaced out, what did you say?’

  
‘I said, you’re not sick, you’re pregnant.’

  
‘Huh. Did you just say I’m pregnant?’

  
‘You have a positive sample Ms Clarke but we will need to run some blood tests to confirm, I will arrange for pre natal vitamins in the meantime, we will also need to determine how far along you are and based on the details you’ve provided we won’t be able to determine that without an ultrasound. I will just be a moment, I will draw some blood now so we can confirm the results as soon as possible.’

OH MY GOD, I
’m pregnant. How the hell am I going to explain this? Oh God, Mason. How do I tell him? His family? My friends? Lily? Ok don’t panic, I have time right? I can’t be more than a few weeks. Holy shit, I’m gonna puke. Before I could do that though, Dr Meyer came back to take my blood. Great, I just love needles.

I have to say it wasn’t as painful as I expected so with a prescription for my meds, and an appointment for my scan, I left the office. By the time I got to the car, it was 11.45am. I decided to go into town and find a quiet café, so I could sit and think. There was no point telling anybody yet, until I had confirmation and I knew how far along I was.

However I looked at this pregnancy, it was a miracle, my odds were non existent, regardless of that Mason and I had made a baby. I would never regret that, I just needed time to process it before going public. With my decision made, I left the caf
é, and drove home. I still had an hour before I needed to pick Lily up. I took a quick detour to the local chemist, picked up my prescription and headed home.

   When I pulled up, Lyssa
’s and John’s cars were gone so I had time to myself. I went up to my room, hid my pills, and sent a text to Mase, letting him know that I had been to the doctor, and that I had some blood taken, but they didn’t think it was much to worry about. It wasn’t a lie, I just didn’t tell him everything. His response, was short, not the usual way he would reply.

Baby, when will you have the results?

Ok! Short but sweet, I guess

I’m not sure, a few days maybe. Is everything ok?

He replied within a few minutes.

Fine, why?

Really!!!!

It’s nothing. You just never usually give me one sentence replies. Never mind. I’ll let you know. Goodnight XX

I know I was short and pissy but so was he.

Don’t be like that, I’m sorry. Look I’ll call you tomorrow. Night XX

Now, I know, I was emotional, well I had a good reason, so I tried to put it aside until I was alone. Later that night I finally went to sleep after spending a few hours crying. Not good, not good at all. I felt like shit, I had nobody to talk to yet, and the father of my child was pulling away, or so it seemed. What a change a few weeks can make.

Chapter 15

Summer

   The next few days went by in a breeze, I continued to struggle daily, trying to avoid any unwanted questions. Mason continued to text me, but he was short and in response I let my emotions get to me pushing him further away. On the plus side, my pregnancy was confirmed and I was on my way to the clinic for my scan. Hopefully they could tell me when the baby was due. I signed in at reception and was taken to a small room, I changed into a gown and waited. A sudden knock broke my sullen mood.

  
‘Good morning Ms Clarke, I’m going to take care of you today. My names Liz. Can you just lay back on the bench, and relax. I’m going to apply some gel to you stomach so we can get a good view of your baby.’

  
‘I don’t think I’m very far along, are you sure you’ll be able to see it?

  
‘Well, we can have a look, if not we may need to try a different scan. Ok, you ready, let’s have a look.’ I waited while she did her thing, it seemed like forever and then all of a sudden.

  
‘Ok then, here you go, there’s your baby.’

  
‘What ….. How? I mean I thought…well I didn’t think I was that far along.’

  
‘Well by my calculations based on the size, your about 12 weeks along. This would make your due date around January 1
st
, Congratulations. I’ll just get you the scan pictures.’ Wow really three months already.

  
’Here you go, I’ll let you get dressed. You’ll need to book another appointment for a month’s time so we can make sure everything is progressing as it should. Do you have any questions?

  
‘Ummm, I had no idea. Are you sure I’m already 12 weeks?’

  
‘Well it would seem so.’

  
‘Ok. I can’t think of anything else yet.’

  
‘That’s fine, if you have any questions don’t hesitate to call, if not I will see you next month, Goodbye.’

  
‘Thank you.’ I couldn’t say anything else. By my calculations that meant I got pregnant the first time we made love, Wow. Well I had my answers, now I needed a way to tell Mase. Well basically that meant I was screwed, because if his recent calls and texts were anything to go on he wouldn’t want anything to do with me. Great.

   I left the clinic, making sure to book my next appointment and drove home. I needed time to decide how I was going to word my text to Mason. I was just about to start when a knock at the door caught my attention. When I answered it, I was struck dumb.

  
‘Hey baby, Miss me?’

  
‘Holy shit. What are you doing here…? I mean, Oh God.’ I threw myself at him and he crushed me to him, it had been about four weeks since I’d seen him face to face.

  
‘I wasn’t getting any straight answers from you, so I thought I’d come and see for myself why you’ve been pulling away from me!’

  
‘No, I haven’t. I thought you were, and I didn’t want things to get more strained. I’m sorry, I’m so…so stupid’ At this point my tears were free falling, both because I was happy and my hormones were all over the place. I couldn’t believe it, Mase was here, with me, in my house, our house.’

  
‘Ok, let me look at you. So beautiful.’ I flushed with his words but didn’t say anything   

  
‘Your not stupid so don’t say that. I was worried, I can tell when you’re hiding something, and I know you better than that. You don’t need to spare my feelings if something’s wrong. I need to know. Are you ok?’

Oh God, here we go.

   ‘I’m….ok, I’m fine but I do need to tell you something. You better come in and sit down.’ I closed the door behind him and we walked into the lounge

  
‘I’ll give you the tour later,’ he smiled at me and sat on the sofa. ‘I wasn’t sure how to tell you, nobody else knows yet. I went back to the doctor today, for my results.’

He kept his expression neutral

   ‘Ok here goes, I’m….pregnant’ Silence, complete silence. He didn’t say a word and his face seemed to be processing what I had said, so I waited.

  
‘Ummm….so you’re not sick? You’re having a baby? My baby? Our baby?’ I let him get used to the idea but jumped when he shouted

  
‘Holy shit, I’m gonna be a dad, oh thank god, I thought you were sick, and you didn’t want to tell me, all sorts of things went through my mind, but this never even occurred to me, how stupid am I, we didn’t use any protection so it was possible, right. Oh my god babe, we’re having a baby.’

His smile lit up the room, he stood up and picked me up in his arms
‘I’m so happy. Are you ok babe?’

  
‘Your happy?’ I sighed in relief, I should have known he wouldn’t be worried about this, he thought I was sick, I’m not.

  
‘Are you kidding, I’m ecstatic. What did the doctor say?’

  
‘Well you will be happy to know, we pretty much did it the first time we were together, everything is fine and progressing as it should be and around January 1
st
we should have a new addition to our family.’

  
‘Our family, I like that, does Lily know yet?’

  
‘No. Only you. I wanted to tell you first, but I never imagined I’d get to do it in person. Thank you for coming. I missed you so, so much.’ His smile made me melt.

  
‘Wow we have loads to plan, when do you want to tell everyone?’

  
‘That depends, have you talked to your parents? Do they know where you are?’

  
‘I text Mel to tell her I was going out of the country, but didn’t say where. I haven’t felt like talking to my parents.’

  
‘Ok. When shall we tell Lily? John and Lys?’

  
‘Well I suppose we should wait until they get over the shock of seeing me.’ He looked right past me, and when I turned around my friends were stood in the doorway with big grins on their faces.