Second Chance (51 page)

      
“So it’s just a summer thing
?
Y
ou’re coming back here
next fall
, right?” Liz presses.

“Of course you are,” Cat finishes
.
“I promise not to raise your rent
.
”

I wait for the words
.
Here they come
.
Any second now.

“I wasn’t planning on
living here
next fall.”

      
I
listen for a
fork
to
drop
.
Someone t
o gasp
.
Choke
.
At least
a beverage
to get knocked over
by a shaky hand
.
But it’s just dead silence
.

I
look across the table at
Dylan
.
The eclipse is just beginning
to start
.

      
“Why
not
?
”
Miles asks and his eyes quickly flicker to mine
.
He’s gauging my reaction, but I’m already prepared for all this
.
All along
I’ve
known
I’ll have t
o let her go because I understand her better than anyone
.

             
Dylan shrugs
.
“I just hadn’t planned on
staying
here permanently
,” she says
.
She sets down her glass and her eyes
skitter
over all of the faces staring in her direction
.
E
ven Dylan can get nervous being center stage
.
“I’m a traveler,” she says
, like it’s simple, like we should accept her and leave her alone about
it
.
Dylan never judges a soul;
she
never questions
people’s
motives or choices
.
She’s the most o
pen minded person I’ve ever met, yet
everyone
loves to
judge her
.

“
You’re a traveler?
”
Travis says
.
“
What does that mean?”

      
Dylan extends her arms out wide
.
“It’s a big world
.
I think life expands
in proportion to how open you are to it
.
I want
to
experience
as much as I can
.
Especially while I’m young
.
Now’s the time to do it.
”

      
“Well, you’ve gone to all this trouble to get your photography business started,” T
odd
says
.
“I
t’s just taking off
.
It’s a pretty stupid career move if you ask me.”

“Photography isn’t my job
.
I’m not looking for a career right now.
”

      
“But you’re really talented,” Bubba says
.
I’m impressed to hear him compliment someone
.
Even thick-shelled Bubba has a soft spot for Dylan.

      
“I love it,” Dylan says
.
“But it’s not what defines me
.
I don’t want anything to define me.
”

      
“Do you have something against
Albuquerque
?
”
Liz asks.

      
“What about Gray?
”
Lenny presses
.
I shoot
Lenny
a
warning look
.

      
“What about
your friends
?
”
Cat asks
.
“Don’t you want to come back here?”

      
“What are you running away from?
”
Todd adds.

      
“Why can’t you just stay in one place and make the most of it?
”
T
ravis
demands.

      
Dylan raises her hands out like she’s trying to block their words with a shield.

      
“Just, listen
.
I’m not running away
.
I’m sorry
.
I
love you all
.
Y
ou’ve made this an unforgettable time
and I’ll definitely be back to visit,
b
ut I never planned on living
here
.
” 

      
“
Why not
?
”
Liz demands
.

      
I stare at Dylan
.
Explain yourself
.
Explain why permanence scares you so much.

      
“
Look, you all have passions that motivate you
.
You’re all pursuing your own things
.
You have
baseball
or school or jobs
.
Well, I have this calling to
move around
and to meet people
.
It’s what inspires me
.
That’s the best way I can explain it.”

      
Her perfect mouth falls into a frown
.
F
or
a
tiny
instant, I see her
wither
.
And it hurts me to see it
b
ecause
she’s more amazing than anyone
I’ve ever met
.
She’ll go further than any of us
.
She has a capacity to love more than all of us combined
.
That’s why
I know
she’ll bounce back
.
She has to
.
S
he’ll follow her heart before
she lets
a stampede of opinions
knock
her down
.

***

      
After dinner
,
Dylan
follow
s
me up to my room
.
S
he
knows I hav
e to study so she picks up her
backpack and leans over me to give me a kiss
goodnight
.
I’m not letting her go that easy
.
I pull her up onto the bed with me until she’s in my lap and I lean against the wall and hold her close because I feel
the
need to protect her
.
Maybe Dylan’s right
.
People love her and crave and need her
,
but so few
understand
her
.

      
“
What’s wrong
?
”
I ask
.
She’s been quiet since dinner
.
Reflective
.
Self
-
conscio
us
.
It’s
making me feel guilty, like I’m the one that’s responsible
.
I
brush her hair ba
ck so I can see her face
.

       
“I hate talking about myself.”

       
“Too bad.”
 
I shift her
on my lap
so she’s facing me
.

       
“I don’t even like thinking about myself
.
It’s a waste of time
.
”

       
“You have to think about yourself once in a while.”

She thinks about this
.
“Why?”