Second Chance Pass (30 page)

Nikki, it turned out, had had an affair or two go south before the one who made her cry. She dated an airline captain for a while without realizing he was actually married. And then, to her supreme embarrassment, she continued with him for a while after knowing. “I don’t know what I was thinking,” she said, but she’d been really young then. “I regretted that, you can’t imagine how much. He’s
been with quite a few single women since, though still married.”

Lots of intimate talk, lots of wonderful, sweet but powerful sex. The sun was starting to peek over the mountains when Joe nodded off with Nikki close in his arms. It was high up when he heard the sound of an engine and bolted upright, finding the bed beside him empty. He couldn’t believe she’d sneak away without saying goodbye. Then it occurred to him she might’ve escaped into the house, into her guest room, to keep her private life private from her hosts.

He dressed, shaved, ran a comb through his hair and hoped to meet her at the coffeepot in the general’s kitchen. He had to get with her one more time to plan their next meeting, to tell her he wanted to call her, talk to her, find out when she would allow him to come to the Bay Area. He was already missing the sound of her voice. The smell of her skin.

When he got into the house, he found Vanni in the kitchen, the baby in his bouncy seat on the table. “Morning,” he said, headed for the coffeepot. When he got back to the table and sat, he was met by her glare. “What?” he asked, perplexed.

“I cannot believe you did that,” she said.

“Did what?” he asked.

“My best friend. You know she’s been through a hard time.”

He looked around a little frantically. “Vanni, what? Where’s Nikki?”

“Gone,” she said flatly.

“Gone?” he asked, rising out of his chair.
“Gone?”

“Yes,” she affirmed. “What were you thinking?”

He gave a huff of unhappy laughter. “I was thinking I’d just found the woman of my dreams,” he said. “She
left?
”

“In tears,” Vanni said, her mouth set in a grim line.

“Tears? Vanni, I did
not
make her cry!”

“Didn’t you have sex with her all night long in that little fifth wheel?” she asked, anger in her tone.

Hoo-boy. You don’t talk about that, especially when it’s meaningful. “Vanni, I swear to you, I didn’t do anything to hurt her.”

“Didn’t you find her on the deck, crying, and kiss her and seduce her and take her to that little trailer?”

“Well… Yeah… I did that part….” And he was thinking, was there a felony in there somewhere? Because all through the night the only thing he had tried to do was show her how much she could be loved. And it was wonderful;
she
was wonderful. Spontaneous and aroused and ultimately quite satisfied. And
happy.
He’d heard her sigh, he’d heard her laugh. There was absolutely no crying.

“Didn’t it occur to you that after her heart had been broken, that was probably not a great idea?”

He got a little angry himself. He leaned his hands on the table, got a little bit in her face and said, “No. I thought it was a terrific idea, and so did she. I wanted to be good to her and I was. I treated her with absolute respect, and she consented one hundred percent. Now, give me her number. I need to talk to her as soon as possible.”

“She said absolutely no.”

“What? No, I have to get in touch with her. Vanni, this isn’t funny.”

“No, it’s not. I just don’t know what went through your mind.”

“Wait a minute here, I didn’t talk her into anything! I was a perfect gentleman, I swear to God!”

“Don’t you know anything about women?” she asked him.

“Apparently not!” he answered hotly.

“She’s just spent five years with a guy who wouldn’t come through. What do you suppose she thinks you’re going to do after one night?”

“She could give me a frickin’ chance!”

Vanni’s mouth was set in a firm line. “She said absolutely no.”

“Oh, for God’s sake. Vanni, this is cruel and unusual. Listen, I have feelings for her. Really.”

“After one night?” she asked, a definite superior tone to her voice.

“
Before
the night,” he said. “Will you ask her to call me? Please?”

“You knew her for what? Ten minutes?”

“Shit,” he said. “Okay, it was fast. Okay? I admit it. But by the time we’d spent a night together it seemed…” It seemed as if he’d been with her for years! Jesus, his voice was quivering. He was losing his mind. He should be saying, fine—if that’s the way she wants it, fine. But in his head, his heart, his gut, he was feeling desperate. Driven. He was not letting this woman get away.

His good sense said give it up. She’s a nutcase. A whole night of magnificent love, intimate talk, something deep and meaningful going on and she splits? Like that? Never wanting to hear from you again? Give it up. Let it go. Move on. She’s probably crazy. Joe had had one or two crazy women for excruciating but short duration, and he didn’t want another one.

But he said, “Vanni, I have to talk to her. I won’t do to her whatever he did to her. I won’t make any promises I can’t keep and I never did or said anything that wasn’t a hundred percent sincere.”

“Ha,” she said.

“Oh fuck,” he answered. “Where is your husband?”

“It won’t do you any good,” she said. “He’s under orders.”

“Where is he?”

She inclined her head toward the stable.

He left his coffee on the table and made fast tracks for the stable. Hadn’t they all just had a perfectly nice wedding and reunion? He had no idea what had gone wrong. It had been the luckiest chance meeting of his life—that beautiful, sexy, soft and sweet Nikki had been there. And she had opened herself up to him in ways that led him to believe she found it to be her luckiest chance meeting as well. In his mind everything had gone right and could reasonably lead to many days, weeks, months, years of more nice stuff. He knew he had to invest the time before he could get a clear picture of the future—he’d been as burned as Nikki had—but you don’t bolt when things are going
right.
And he looked forward to nothing so much as investing the time. With her.

He found Paul and Tom brushing down horses in the stable. He stopped short and took a few deep breaths. “Hey, boys,” he said. “Tom, you mind? Can I have a minute with Paul? I’ll take your brush if you want.”

Tom looked at him grimly, though there might’ve been a little sparkle in his eye. “I heard you did the maid of honor.”

“You know,” Joe said somewhat irritably, “I was busy keeping private things private. I thought she might’ve appreciated that.”

Tommy grinned. “I’d congratulate you, man, but I think you blew it.”

“So I’m hearing. But if you’d been there…”

“Kinky,” Tom said. “Sure I can’t stay? You could think of it as part of my education.”

“Take off,” Paul said.

“Killjoy,” he said, passing Joe the brush and leaving the stable.

“You gotta help me, man,” Joe said to Paul. “I didn’t do anything to her. I mean, I only did to her what she totally… She should
not
have left in tears. I swear to God.”

“Yeah? Yet, she did. She was all shook up. Vanni was worried about her driving like that—all messed up.”

“No, you have to understand. I—” He stopped. He didn’t like the desperate sound of his own voice. He was not going to do this—he was not going to tell Paul that he held her and loved her all night long and that he was gentle and she was sweet. That they had also been a little wild—beautifully wild. That their bodies had meshed perfectly and their words just as well. That in addition to sex too hot to imagine, there had been tender words, too soft and lovely to explain. He couldn’t tell a
guy
that. It was beyond him.

“Paul, goddammit, you have to help me with this. I have to get in touch with her.”

“She says she doesn’t want to hear from you.”

“I have to hear that from her. Jesus, I don’t even know her last name.”

Paul stopped brushing and looked at Joe over the rear end of a horse. “I don’t think I’d admit that again.” He groaned. “Jesus, Joe. You screwed the maid of honor without even getting her
name?
”

Joe lost it. He dropped the brush, grabbed Paul by the front of his shirt and slammed him up against the stable wall with a huge bang. Paul could easily have hammered him if he wasn’t so completely shocked. “I didn’t do that,” Joe said in a fierce, angry whisper. “I didn’t
screw
anyone! I made excellent love to her and she made incredible love right back to me and it was almost too good to believe. I used six of your condoms and I—” He stopped. He let go of Paul and stepped back. “This isn’t happening to me,” he said.

“I think you might be a little out of control,” Paul observed.

“Aw, come on! Help me out here!”

“Seriously, I don’t think I’d admit again that you don’t even know her last name.”

“What the fuck is it, you jerk!”

“Jorgensen, but you didn’t hear it from me. Okay? I’d like to have sex again in my life.”

“Sex. Sex. It’s all about sex.” Joe shook his head.

“Wasn’t it?” Paul asked.

“Only about half the time,” Joe said. “Paul, will you listen to me a second? It was perfect—the kind of perfect that just doesn’t come along very often. You hear me? It was wonderful. It wasn’t just sex, but don’t get me wrong…”

“You’re going down the wrong road again, buddy. Women don’t want to hear about how great they were in bed.”

“Now you’re an expert? Married twelve hours and you know everything?” He hung his head. “I have to find her, man. She gets two chances—she has to tell me twice that it’s nothing. Twice. Then I go away quietly. I’m no stalker. But man…”

“Whew. You got it bad,” Paul said. “She is way under your skin.”

“Just tell me you don’t know what I’m talking about, Paul. You of all people.”

Paul was quiet for a minute. “Unfortunately, I read you.”

“Help me out here. She’s… Don’t make me say anything more, please. It’s private, okay? Help me out.”

“Here’s what I’d do. Write her a letter,” Paul said. “I’ll ask Vanni to send it to her. But I can’t guarantee anything,” he added.

“You are so frickin’ whipped.”

“Yeah? What are you right now?”

“Out of my head, that’s what.”

Paul lifted two eyebrows. “Six?”

“Aw, bite me!”

Before leaving Virgin River, Joe sat in the fifth wheel he’d borrowed and wrote a letter on a lined yellow pad, a letter in which every word embarrassed him. But he forced himself. He went through roughly fifty drafts to come up with one he could live with, and he still found it horribly inadequate.

He gave the letter to Paul because he didn’t trust Vanni just yet. However, when he took Vanessa into his arms to give her a kiss goodbye he said, “You have to believe me. I didn’t hurt her. I want to hear from her. Please, tell her that.”

“I’ll tell her. But I don’t know that it’ll change anything.”

“Just tell her. Please.”

T
om had his gear packed by Sunday afternoon. He took Brenda out for a long ride and she held it together real well. She stayed for dinner with the general, Vanni and Paul. His dad was taking him to the bus at five in the morning. He drove Brenda back to her house at about 8:00 p.m., but he didn’t get home until 4:00 a.m. He found his dad was up.

“You didn’t keep Brenda out all this time, did you, son?”

“No, Dad. We were at her house. Her parents were home.”

“She okay?”

“Yeah, she’ll be okay. You haven’t been up all night, have you?”

“On and off.”

“I hope you weren’t worried,” Tom said.

“Not at all, son. I knew you’d be with your girl to the last minute. Unfortunately for you, there’s no time to sleep.”

“I’m not interested in sleep.”

“You will be.” He draped an arm around his son’s shoulder, gave a squeeze and said, “It’s what I would’ve done, too. She’s a wonderful girl.”

“She is a wonderful girl,” Tom agreed, a sadness at leaving her in his voice.

“Let’s get you some breakfast. Maybe a shower. Then we’ll take off.”

“Vanni and Paul getting up?”

“Oh, I’m sure. Come on, kid.”

Walt scrambled eggs and fried bacon and the sounds from the kitchen brought the others. An hour later they all stood out on the front porch and said goodbye. Tom kissed his sister and little Mattie. While his dad waited in the car, he embraced Paul. “Watch out for my dad, Paul,” Tom said. “He likes to act like this is no big deal. Be sure he’s handling me being gone okay.”

“I’ll watch,” Paul said. “I’ll take care of your family, boy. You just knock ’em dead in boot camp.”

“I’ll do my best.”

Ricky’s time was spent with the four most important people in his life. His grandma, Lydie, his girl, Liz, Jack and Preacher. Liz stayed in Virgin River for the ten days he was on leave and some afternoons, Jack took him fishing.

Standing out in the Virgin with Jack, watching the lines arc over their heads as they cast, Rick felt it was where he had always belonged. It was here, at the river, that all the important growing-up talks of his life had taken place, and always with Jack. It was here that Jack had that big talk with him about sex, for what good it did—Rick had still ended up getting his girl pregnant. What a tough time that had been. Later, while Rick was doing his best to stand by her like a man, it was Jack who encouraged him, coached him, tried to keep him on the right path to avoid even more disaster. And after the baby was stillborn, Jack and Preach held him up, helped him shoulder the pain.

“Thanks for everything you’ve done for me, Jack,” he said.

“I didn’t do anything. People tend to come out to celebrate their friends.”

“I wasn’t talking about this week—which, by the way, has been great. I was talking about the last few years. You were like my dad. I kind of always thought of you as my dad. I hope you don’t mind that too much.”

Jack felt his chest tighten up. “Mind? That would make me damn proud, Rick. If I could have another son, I would have it be you.”

“You gotta do something for me, Jack. If anything goes wrong over there—”

“Rick. We don’t like to talk that way….”

“Jack! We know what it is over there. Now listen, if anything goes wrong over there, will you make sure my grandma and Lizzie get through it okay?”

Jack looked at him, at his profile, because Rick looked straight ahead. “You know you don’t have to ask that. We take care of each other’s families.”

“I know. And, Jack? I just don’t want to leave anything important unsaid. I love you, man. You’re my best friend ever. You got me grown up. Nothing would’ve turned out without you.”

Jack swallowed. When he spoke, his voice wasn’t real strong. “There’s still lots of fishing to do, Rick. I’m counting on that.” He put his hand on the boy’s shoulder. “I love you, too, son.” But he was thinking,
If you don’t come back, who’s going to get
me
through it?

“I want to tell you something I did. I know I’m only nineteen, Liz only seventeen—both of us still too young. But I bought her a necklace with a diamond in it—a nice-size one, too. I told her it was my promise to her, but I also told her it didn’t hold her to anything.”

Jack lifted an eyebrow. “Big step,” he said.

“Half a step, really,” Rick said. “Call it a first step. I love the girl, there’s no question about that. I’ve loved her since she was fourteen—it was my undoing. But there were so many complications for us, some real hurting times. If there’s a better guy for her, I won’t hold her back. But if there’s not a better guy…”

“Then what, Rick?”

“I’m driving her crazy, talking about school all the time. She’s gotta finish high school—that’s just one more year. And I’d really like her to get a little college—I asked her to at least try. When I’m done with this gig, I’m going to school. I’m not saying I’ll give up the Marine Corps—I don’t know about that yet—but I’m going to college. If it works out for us, if we get married, I want us to be smart, educated people. I want a family real bad—probably because of the one we lost, huh?”

“I guess that would set up a real strong desire, yeah,” Jack said.

“Well, if I get another chance at that, I’d like us to be smart enough to earn a decent living and have a couple of kids raised by educated parents.” He turned and grinned at Jack. “I think that kind of talk got her attention—she said she’d try to get good grades her senior year and she’d at least go to community college.” He sobered. “She said she’d do that so I’d be proud of her. Man, I’m already so proud of her—look how she holds up, huh? She buried her baby and said goodbye to me, and did she fall apart? She’s been solid. She’s been real brave, real strong.”

“You both have, Rick. A diamond, huh? How’d you save enough for a diamond?”

Ricky laughed. “I’m not doing that anymore, buying things like that with my per diem—I’ll save it for something a little more practical, like a down payment on a
house or a car. But Liz deserved to have something beautiful that says I love her, that I couldn’t think more of her. Don’t you think?”

It made Jack smile. “You think she stood by you while you were gone?”

“Every day,” he said. “She gets real lonesome sometimes, and she misses all the stuff the girlfriends do—homecoming dance, prom, all that stuff. I told her to go—I could deal with that. But she said she couldn’t do that. It might lead someone on. She said if she’s still with me in the end, that stuff wouldn’t even be important. She writes me letters almost every day—longer ones when everyone but her is going to prom. Damn… There are a lot of times I wish I was more like you—totally free and not caring about any woman until I’ve had a chance to really live, see the world, experience the world—and then have Liz come along later, when I’m like thirty, or forty…”

Jack chuckled. “And there are a lot of times I wish I’d met Mel a long time before she’d hooked into that first husband, started our family when we were both a lot younger, before I started getting gray. I think if you’re lucky enough to find the right person at all, you don’t have a right to complain about when, how.” He put a hand on the kid’s shoulder and gave a squeeze. “I hope it works out for the two of you, son. You buried a baby together. It would be sweet if you could bring a couple of healthy and strong ones into your lives together. But I’ll say this—I think you’re smart to tell her to take her time on that commitment. Believe me, when you make those kinds of promises to a woman, you want her to be absolutely sure.”

“That’s what I think.”

A large fish jumped across the river and they were silent; he was huge. “King,” Rick finally said. “I haven’t seen one that size in a long time.”

“He must be lost,” Jack said, casting in that direction.

Rick took a few paces downstream, changed out his fly and threw a line. They played with him a while, then Rick hooked him and yelled, “Woo-hoo!”

“Lead him, let him take out line, tire him out before you—”

Rick laughed. “I know how to catch a fish.”

“Don’t screw around, get too anxious and lose him,” Jack said.

“You milking this cow?” Ricky asked him.

For the better part of an hour Rick played him, letting out line, letting him run, pulling him back, walking up and down in the shallow part of the river when the fish ran, and all the while he had Jack in his ear. “That son of a bitch is big. Let out more line. Don’t spoil him, he’s a fighter. He’s getting too far from your control, reel him back.” And on and on and on.

Rick finally brought him in, a great big Chinook, over thirty pounds. And that was more than enough fishing; Rick’s ears were ringing from Jack’s mother-henning.

When they got back to the bar, Preacher whistled in admiration and loaded the fish on the scale. “Thirty-seven point four. You catch him all by yourself, Rick?”

Rick made a face at Jack. “Not exactly.”

When Jack took Rick to Garberville, they sat in the truck for a minute, waiting for the bus to board. “Got any last-minute advice?” Rick asked him.

“Yeah. Trust your gut. Follow your orders, but trust your instincts.”

“I want you to know that I’m not afraid of it. I’m not. In fact, I might be a little excited. It was the right thing to do, Jack. For me.”

“I believe you.”

“You take good care of Mel and the kids, huh?”

“You bet I will. I’ll write every week,” Jack said. “Nothing will happen in Virgin River that you won’t hear about.”

“Whoopee,” he said, and laughed. Jack went to tousle his hair the way he used to, but it was shaved down so short, he knuckled his scalp instead. “I’m going now,” Rick said.

Jack got out of the truck and met him around the front. He gave him a robust hug. “Take care, son. Be safe.”

“I will. Now you get outta here. Don’t hang around and stare at the bus, like you did last time.”

Jack couldn’t stop himself—he grabbed him and hugged him again. “This time next year, Rick. I’ll get the boys to come. You bring your friends.”

“Sure,” he said. Then he turned and walked to the bus, straight and tall, his duffel over his shoulder. He never turned around to look back.

June grew old and hot. Small fires dotted a mountainous landscape that had remained dry and dangerous, while in Arizona, Nevada, Colorado and Utah several big fires had threatened to run out of control and, it being early in the season, this didn’t bode well. Northern California had escaped the big ones so far, but it was a frightening prospect as the rains continued to elude them. Cal Fire and Department of Forestry was patrolling campgrounds like crazy, making sure fires were only lit in designated areas and with permits, in many cases prohibiting fires of any kind.

Mel was keeping a very close eye on her husband. The first days after Ricky left found Jack a little on the quiet side, but he was coming around. He talked about the young man a lot, read the newspapers and had a satellite TV in
stalled in the bar so he and Preacher could keep up on CNN reports of the war. He had the Chinook mounted, taking down his big, ugly sturgeon and replacing it with Rick’s fish. He had also written about a dozen letters already, and let her read over some of them while they were in progress. “Jack,” she had said, laughing. “Do you really think Ricky cares what Preacher made for dinner, or how many temper tantrums Davie threw today?”

“I think he wants to hear everything. I remember.”

Of course he did, she thought. He remembered every long night he spent in battle zones, often in the same landscape, the same country where Rick served this very minute. He remembered every face of a young marine, every wounded man, every letter from home. For Jack to have been through it himself and let Rick go with such pride and confidence made him, in Mel’s mind, the strongest man alive.

“I have an idea,” she told him. “Go ask your sister and brother-in-law if they know any news that should be sent Rick’s way.”

Jack’s eyes briefly widened, then he walked briskly out the back door of the bar, across the yard to that RV, and banged on the door. Mel watched from the window as Brie stepped outside. A short conversation ensued and then she could hear her husband’s loud whoop of excitement just as he lifted his sister off her feet and swung her around and around. Then he was back, lifting Mel off her feet, bringing her face up to his. He covered her mouth in a searing, demanding kiss—but she found herself laughing against his lips. “Jack,
she’s
pregnant, not me!”

“It’s almost as good,” he said. “They want a baby so much. This is wonderful news.” Then he scowled a little bit and said, “Did you just leak some confidential medical information?”

“No,” she said. “Brie said I could tell you.”

“Then why didn’t you just tell me?”

“This was much more fun. Are you done kissing me already?”

“Baby, I want to way more than kiss you. I’ll be very careful. How about it?”

She played with the hair at his temple. Not many women knew what it was like to have a man like this. A powerful and lusty man like Jack. He always put her needs and feelings ahead of his own, always looking to care for her in every way, keeping her safe, making sure she knew how loved she was. How wanted. In his love, in his arms, she always felt beautiful and sexy. Desired. Cherished. She kissed him on the lips and said, “Later. And you don’t have to be all that careful—I’m all right now.”

“But your poor little body has been through so much,” he said.

“John Stone was just here this morning, so he gave me a little check. I have my operator’s license back.”

“Oh, baby,” he said in a breath.

“But, Jack, you are not to write Rick about that!”

He grinned at her and said, “Just as well. I could never put it into words, what I feel with you.”

This was a kind of union Mel hadn’t even dared fantasize. The level of their intimacy, from the physical to emotional, was so deep and intense, it was impossible for either of them to tell where one ended and the other began. She could read his mind; he could sense her feelings. They anticipated each other in so many ways. It was as if his heart beat in her breast. She had never known another human being as she knew her Jack. And she made herself just as accessible to him, holding nothing back.