Second Look (A New Beginning Book 3) (7 page)

Sarah’s eyes widened. “What? No! I just…I wanted to see if you…I mean, it’s okay. Really.”

Adam shook his head. Sarah looked down, hiding her eyes from him.

He felt like a complete jerk.

“I’m sorry I hurt you. It was never my intent.”

“I’m…fine.”

Fine.
That
word. He wasn’t such an idiot that he didn’t know it meant she was anything but fine.

Adam stood back up and finished getting dressed. “Goodbye, Sarah.”

“Goodbye, Adam.” Her voice was barely a whisper.

Adam realized as he walked out of her apartment for the last time, that maybe it actually was time for him to grow up in this regard too.

Chapter Four

Jennifer

Home, sweet home

The first week in her new job was officially complete and Jennifer couldn’t help but smile. It was a relief that there hadn’t been any sexy doctors to distract her. Not that she’d seen so far, anyway.

Amber was at her parent’s house for the weekend, so Jennifer had a night to do whatever she wanted.

The following night she was going out with her friends, but tonight was a rare night on her own. As she lowered herself into a hot bath, a large glass of wine by her side and the music on low, she realized a relaxing evening on her own was exactly what she needed.

It was sheer perfection.

As she enjoyed the luxurious lilac-scented bubbles, Jennifer couldn’t help but think of Adam. So many times she was close to asking Mandi how he was. The bitter truth was, she missed him.

It had been years since she last saw him and even more years since they were a couple. It was pretty pathetic, when sat down and actually thought about it.

How she could miss him and still have feelings for him, she didn’t really know. He broke her heart. Although to be fair, she broke his first a long time ago.

She and Adam had such a long history. They were inseparable almost from the moment they met.

They were both very athletic and loved almost all Minnesota outdoor activities. He’d come to watch her softball games and she love to watch him play baseball. They’d go ice fishing and snow tubing in the winter and in the summer, they’d go to the beach or go watch the St. Paul Saints play baseball. Fishing on one of the many nearby lakes was like being in heaven. They’d spend hours fishing, swimming and soaking up the summer sun.

They dated for most of high school and all through college. Jennifer took her two-year degree in Minnesota, but then she ended up going to California for nursing school. It was tough on them both to be in a long-distance relationship, but they were determined to make it work.

With Adam being at the U of M and Jennifer in nursing school across the country, it grew more difficult to find time to see each other with their schedules and being broke college students. They talked as much as possible and texted often, but even that was at times hard to manage.

Adam graduated first and he was already working at a great company and rising up the ranks pretty fast. He was waiting for her to get back to Minnesota and he always joked they’d make a quick stop in Vegas and elope on their way back to moving her back home.

Sometimes she wished it really had happened that way.

Instead, she broke up with him.

Eight years ago…

“So, come on, Jenn. You still haven’t answered me. Are you packed yet?” Adam laughed and reached across the table to grab her hand, threading his fingers through hers. He had a bright smile and sparkling eyes as he looked at her. “When do I get to bring you home?”

Jennifer’s stomach dropped when she thought of ruining the mood.

They were sitting in a restaurant right inside the airport. They had very little time before Adam had to head through security. A few days prior, he flew in as a surprise to watch her graduation and was flying back home that evening.

The lasagna was a lead weight in her stomach. She was about to ruin everything and she’d dreaded this moment for a week. She started to tell him so many times over the last few days but never found the right time. Really, she was terrified of his reaction.

She knew she couldn’t put it off any longer.

She took a deep breath. “I need to talk to you about that.”

“Okay, shoot.” Adam grinned. “It’s good news, I hope!”

It’s good news to me.

“You know how I’ve been interning at the clinic over the last several months, right? I really liked working there,” Jennifer began, giving Adam’s hand a squeeze.

Adam nodded for her to continue.

“They, uh, they offered me a job.”

His eyes narrowed and her stomach dropped to the floor. “And?”

“I took the job.”

Adam’s smile faded and he stared at her in silence.

When she first accepted the position, she had never been so excited. She wanted to call Adam, but the second she thought of telling him, her excitement turned to dread.

It even made her second-guess her decision.

Was she doing the right thing, taking this job? What would it mean for her and Adam? Their relationship had suffered from distance and they both were looking forward to being together again. But she absolutely loved working at that clinic and often thought it would be her ideal first job as a nurse.

“You took it? A job in California?”

She nodded at him, not trusting her voice.

He opened his mouth and then closed it again.

Several seconds of stunned silence were followed by his soft reply. “But you’re supposed to be coming home.”

“I know,” she whispered. “I applied for the job but didn’t really think I’d get it.”

Adam looked upset before, but the hurt that passed his features told her he was even more crushed. He was still holding her hand but his grip relaxed. She held on tighter.

Shit. Why did I tell him that?

“You applied for it?”

“Yeah, I mean, it’s going to take me time to get all the tests done in Minnesota to be able to be a nurse there, and I figured I’d just take the time to learn in an environment I’m used to for now while I prepare to do all that.”

“But, what about us?” His voice was shaky. “Are we supposed to just keep doing what we’ve been doing? Phone calls and texts and rarely getting to see each other?”

Jennifer tried to figure that out ever since she accepted the position. It wasn’t fair to ask him to hang on any longer, when they’d always agreed on her coming home right after graduation.

Now she was changing the plan.

“I don’t know. I mean, we’ve come this far, right?”

“I can’t believe you took the job without talking to me.”

“Since when do I need to clear things with you? You took your job without telling me. How’s this any different?”

She regretted the words as soon as they were out of her mouth.

Of course it’s different.

“I…what?” Adam shook his head and his eyes widened. “You knew I was applying for the job and you were the first to know when I got the offer. We’ve always planned to live in Minnesota together and you’ve never once mentioned you even applied. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t know. I just, I really like working at this clinic and I love working for the doctor. It’s just a really good fit for me to start my career.”

“That doesn’t explain why you didn’t bother to tell me.”

“You’re right. I should have told you sooner. I just wasn’t sure how.”

“So, what now? We just keep going on this way? Rarely seeing each other?”

She looked down at the ring on her finger. The promise ring Adam gave her on one of his trips to visit her used to make her heart happy, but it had become a source of pressure and guilt.

The last few weeks had been hell as she tried to find the right way to tell Adam she was staying in California. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she’d already made up her mind.

She wasn’t going to pass up her dream job.

And if that was more important than going back home to Adam, what did that say about their relationship? That thought had popped into her head more often than any other.

Jennifer’s stomach dropped and her heart raced. “No, I don’t think that’s fair to you.”

Adam narrowed his eyes. “What are you saying?”

“Maybe it’s time to break up.”

He backed up in the booth. “What?”

She nodded, her eyes filling up. “I can’t expect you to stay in a long-distance relationship. It’s been really hard for a long time, on both of us.”

Adam’s jaw hardened and a determine look crossed his handsome face. “No, I don’t want to break up, Jenn. We’ll make it work.”

She smiled through her tears. “I haven’t even been able to celebrate getting this job. I’ve only had guilt. What’s wrong with that picture?”

Adam’s mouth opened and then closed again and he remained silent.

“Our relationship was hard enough, even when we had a timeframe of when I was coming home. So how guilty will I feel making you continue on this way not knowing when I’m coming home? If I’m ever coming home?”

His head jerked back as though she slapped him.

“If you’re ever coming home?” He let out a puff of breath. “So after all these years, all of a sudden you completely change our plans and you also get to decide we’re through? Without giving me a choice?”

“I just think it’s for the best.”

Adam shook his head. “Best for who?”

All she could do was stare at him through watery eyes. He looked crushed.

“Do you still love me?”

She looked up to ceiling for the strength to say no to make it easier for him to let her go. She wished she could lie and say she didn’t, but she still loved him.

She nodded, unable to say anything with her lips trembling.

“Alright, then we can make this work.” He looked at his watch. “Shit. I have to go. I’ll give you time to think. Yes, I’m upset about the job, but I know we can still make this work.”

She shook her head no, but couldn’t find the words to argue any more.

Adam stood up and grabbed his backpack. He leaned down to where she was still sitting and the kiss he gave her was bittersweet. It meant goodbye, even if he wasn’t willing to accept it yet.

“Yes, we can.” He paused. “I love you, Jenn.”

Then he was gone.

Adam was true to his word and gave her a few days to think before he called her. When she told him she hadn’t changed her mind, he cried.

He. Actually. Cried.

It tore at her heart to hear his pain.

Adam tried to convince her to give them a chance to make it work. She’d lost count over the years how many times she wished he’d succeeded in changing her mind.

*****

A good friend was someone who, even after a long time apart, always could pick right back up where they left off. That’s exactly how it was with both Mandi and Cassandra.

They decided to stay in town and ended up at a fun little bar in Zimmerman called
The Whistling Pickle
where a band was playing after a meat raffle. Jennifer wasn’t 100% sure, but she figured meat raffles were only in Minnesota, or at least the mid-western states.

When they first made it to the bar, they discussed Mandi’s dad quickly, but she didn’t really want to talk about it other than to tell the girls he was hanging in there.

Their conversation turned towards men.

“Well? What’s new with Luke? If that’s really his name.”

Jennifer said the last part under her breath while she smirked. Luke was the guy Mandi met online on one of the dating websites. Nothing was wrong with online dating, but she couldn’t help but tease her best friend.

“Hey, I heard that.” Mandi glared at Jennifer. “He’s good. We’re taking it slow. We haven’t even seen pictures of each other yet. Just getting to know each other.”

“Yeah, that’s what she’s been telling me for several weeks now.” Cassandra gave her a knowing look. “But what would it matter? He probably wouldn’t even give you a real picture anyway.”

Jennifer giggled. “That’s exactly what I was thinking.”

Mandi looked back and forth between her and Cassandra. “Just give me a break, would you? Neither of us is ready to jump into meeting quite yet. What’s wrong with getting to know him online first?”

“Nothing, if it
was
the real him. But chances are, sweetie, it’s not. We just want to be sure you don’t get hurt or get your hopes up.”

Cassandra used a calm, rational voice, which managed to settle Mandi down.

“Exactly,” Jennifer agreed, nodding. “We’re trying to look out for you.”

“Well, I can take care of myself. We really do have a lot in common. So far, we’ve been emailing and texting. It’s only been a couple weeks.”

She wanted nothing more than for her best friend to find someone, especially after everything that had happened to her when she was younger. She’d barely dated in years.

“Well, we hope it works out, right Cassandra?”

Cassandra sipped her drink and nodded her head.

“I’m being cautiously optimistic, you guys, so chill.” Then Mandi leaned in, chuckled and said, “But when we do decide to meet, I’ll have you there hiding in the corner.”

Jennifer and Cassandra both laughed and nodded their heads. She was glad Mandi was finally venturing out into the dating world again. It had been way too long.