Read Second Time Around Online
Authors: Darrin Lowery
Second Time Around (24 page)
“Exactly.”
“Then why am I paying you all this money?” Vaughn began to laugh.
“Because you're a generous man, Vaughn.”
“Very generous, apparently. Open up that envelope and look at that check.”
Darren opened the envelope and even he was surprised at the amount.
“Very generous,” Darren said, smiling.
“Welcome to the big leagues, Darren. That check is a monthly check. You will get that amount each month, whether I see you or not. The thing is, when I need you, I need you. I'm not asking you to not see other clients. But when I call, I'd like to be able to know that you're on your way.”
“Well, if you call, I'll be there. But I don't think you need to see a therapist any longer. I think you just need some reassurance from time to time, some validation.”
“Well, will that amount get me my reassurance?”
“Yes it will.”
“Then we have a deal.”
The two men continued their golf game.
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The following week, Darren and Karen went to the Bulls game. The Bulls were playing the Lakers and Darren bought tickets for seats three rows away from the floor. Darren had on his custom Lakers jersey and Karen had on a custom Bulls jersey as well. They both had on team hats. Darren loved everything about Chicago and cheered for the Bears, Sox, Cubs, Hawks, and Bulls in almost every game. In basketball, however, he loved the Lakers. He had been a Lakers fan since Magic Johnson's showtime Lakers of the eighties.
Darren and Karen cheered, laughed, and occasionally kissed as they watched the Bulls and Lakers battle it out on the hardwood. It had been a long time since Darren had this much fun at a Bulls game. Going was something that he used to do all the time with her. Every year, Darren and Korie went to the BullsâLakers game. Darren never stopped going to the annual game. He never took anyone else, however, before now.
At halftime, Darren went to get more beer and snacks. He walked up to the concession stand. While there, he figured he needed to go to the bathroom first rather than make two trips after getting the snacks. He moved ever so slowly through the thick crowd of hundreds of people trying to do the same thing as him, which was to pee and get snacks before halftime was over.
While maneuvering through the crowd, he saw her.
Is that? Is thatâit can't be.
He saw her. Korie's back was to him and her hair was in a ponytail. He hadn't seen her in years, but he knew it was her. It had to be. He moved closer and closer, working his way through the crowd and bumping people in an effort to get to her. She was in line to go to the ladies' room. He got right behind her, much to the dismay of the other women in line. He knew it was her. He just knew it. He tapped the woman on the shoulder and she turned around. She looked amazing.
“Hey,” he said.
She turned around and didn't look pleased to see him. She wasn't mad, but she wasn't happy either. Her affect was flat.
“Hey.” She tried to force herself to smile.
The hallway was noisy. It was incredibly loud, but the silence between them was louder than the hundreds of people around them.
“You look great.”
“Great” was an understatement. She looked stunning. She looked fit, she looked beautiful, and more than anything else, she looked happy. The three things no man wants to see from a woman after a breakup, after she has moved on.
“You look good yourself.”
She too was blown away. The years had been kind to Darren. He was more fit than she remembered, taller than she remembered, and his smile, even after all this time, still made her weak; surprisingly weak. He looked good. He looked as if he had been taking care of himself. More than that, he looked as if his five-year plan had been all that he wanted and then some. He looked successful. Even in his sports gear, he looked confident. More than that, she was afraid of what she saw in his eyes. In his eyes she saw regret. She saw love. More than that, she saw that same love, that same regret mirroring her own face within his eyes.
“I've been trying to call you.”
“Yeah, yeah . . . I know.”
“I'd like to see you.”
He was abrupt. Everything else in his world stopped. In this one moment he forgot he was here with someone. In this one moment, all that seemed to matter was her.
“I can't. I'm here with someone.”
“It doesn't have to be today. I mean, I can call you later andâ”
“I'm seeing someone.”
She blurted it out. She had to. She felt herself being drawn to him. She wanted him. She wanted to talk with him. She wanted to know how he was doing, how he had been, and she wanted to know had he thought about her. So many thoughts ran through her mind. There were so many memories, so many emotions. She wanted to sit down with him and talk; at least her heart did. Her head, however, had different plans. Her head informed him that there was another rooster in the henhouse. Perhaps even that love didn't live there anymore. Her head put up a defensive wall, to protect her. She had never loved anyone like she loved Darren. In the same token, no man had hurt her as Darren had.
“You're seeing someone. Oh.”
Her words hit him like two heavy, closed fists. They hit him in his chest and they hit him hard. He didn't know what else to expect. He didn't know why he hadn't expected her to be seeing someone; she looked incredible. There is no way she could have waited all this time for him. There is no way a woman this beautiful would be single. There was no way that another man hadn't staked a claim to her and couldn't be calling her his own. He scanned her hand for a wedding ring. There wasn't one. That gave him hope.
“I'm sorry,” she said.
“Is it serious?” he asked quickly, almost out of desperation.
He tried to compose himself. He tried to act as if he didn't care. He asked again almost matter-of-factly.
“This person you're seeing, is it serious?”
“I don't know yet. I mean, we've been together for a while.”
She faked a smile. She wondered what was going on in his head. She wanted to run away, but she seemed glued to where she was. They both moved in line and waited as the line to the women's restroom became shorter.
“Is there any way that we can talk? I mean, the next time I call, will you pick up?”
“I can't.”
She didn't want to hurt Vaughn. She was, in fact, falling in love with him. Out of respect for Vaughn, she declined. Her heart wanted him to call, but right now her heart wasn't in control. Her head was.
“You can't answer, or you won't answer?”
He was confused. Hurt. He knew. Seeing her, he knew leaving her was a mistake.
“I won't answer. I'm sorry, Darren. You will always have a special place in my heart, but that time is gone. Besides, my new man doesn't put me off for his business plans.”
There it was. She said it. She was clearly still upset about the five-year-plan; even all these years later. That upset Darren. But clinically, it still meant that she cared. He wanted her back. He wanted her in his life, in his bed, and in his heart. But he also wanted her to know that the plan had its merit. His plan was the reason he was the success he was today.
“He may not put you off for his plans, but I bet he's nowhere as busy as I am, either.”
Darren sounded confident, arrogant. He was still the man who she remembered. His arrogance was one of the things that she loved about him. It was also one of the things that she hated about him as well.
“Oh Darren, I bet he is.”
She tried her best to hide a frown. She tried her best not to show her contempt for his arrogance.
“I'm a therapist now. I work for a thriving practice. I see some of Chicago's most elite citizens.”
He spoke with that same tempered arrogance he had five years ago. He said it in hopes that she would understand how hard he worked. How much he sacrificed. Although it was clear he sacrificed way too much. He said it, but she didn't seem impressed.
“Good for you, Darren. Good for you.”
“Korie, look, Iâ”
“I have to go to the bathroom.”
“Can I wait here for you?”
“I would rather you didn't.”
“Butâ”
“Good-bye, Darren.”
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She went in the bathroom and stayed there for what seemed like an eternity. Darren tried to wait. He didn't know that she went to the bathroom to relieve herself and then to cry. He waited for her. He waited and pretty soon, Mother Nature called on him as well. He went to the bathroom and when he came out, she was nowhere to be found. He looked everywhere for her and didn't see her.
Then he remembered Karen.
He wasn't here alone.
He went to the concession stand and got snacks and beer. He made his way back to his seat where the game had well been underway. The entire time he looked for a glimpse of Korie throughout the stadium. He looked for her but couldn't find her anywhere. He handed the snacks and beer to Karen, who had a puzzled look on her face.
“Wow, it took you a long time.”
“Oh. Yeah, well, the line was ridiculous.”
“It must have been. The Lakers are winning so far, sixty to fifty-eight.”
“Huh? Oh.”
“Are you okay?”
“I'm fine.”
Darren looked above and into the crowd. He tried to scan the entire stadium for Korie. He had to see her again. He looked at the cheap seats. He scanned all the bargain seats and all the places that he and she used to sit when they were together; when they were poor. He looked, but he couldn't find her.
He looked for her in the cheap seats.
He never thought to look for her in the floor seats, next to the players.
He didn't think to look in front of him.
She was, in fact, on the floor, right in front of him.
He was behind her.
Compared to where she and Vaughn were sitting, he was in the cheap seats.
He never saw her. She saw him. She saw him look for her.
At the end of the game, Darren took Karen's hand and left.
Vaughn took Korie's hand and left as well.
Vaughn had no idea that his therapist was his girlfriend's ex.
Chapter Twenty-two
Bitch.
This is what Darren thought to himself as he headed home. Karen went on about how great the game was and Darren's thoughts trailed off to her. How could she not want to see him? He was even more fit now than he was when they were together. He was doing better now than he had ever been financially in his life. His five-year-plan paid off. Perhaps Korie needed to see that.
Perhaps she needed to see the hundred-thousand dollar car that he was driving. Perhaps she needed to see the new condo that he lived in. Perhaps she needed to see that he was fast becoming one of the city's elite, with invitations to the mayor's ball, Bears games, and glamorous city functions. Whomever she was seeing couldn't be half the man that he was. Whomever she was seeing couldn't offer Korie the things that he could. The only thing that he could think about was how good she looked. She was looking good, damned good.
As Karen talked, all Darren could think about was Korie's full, kissable lips, her incredible figure and how good she smelled. He took Karen home and bedded her. She thought he was being extra-passionate, where he was really trying to take his frustration out on her in bed.
As they made love, he thought about Korie. He imagined himself with her. Having seen her gave him a clear mental picture. She still wore the same perfume, she still looked incredible, and she was still the one thing in this life that he had a weakness for.
He kissed Karen but he thought of Korie. As the two embraced during the most intimate of sessions, “Walk Away” by Christina Aguilera began to play. The lyrics burned in his head as he made love to Karen. He always thought that he would be the one thing that Korie would never walk away from. The fact of the matter was, she moved on.
His pride was wounded.
His arrogance was tempered.
His heart was broken.
His arrogance would be his undoing. When he left her all those years ago, in the back of his mind, he knew he would be with her again. He knew in his heart that she could never completely walk away from him; or so he thought. He figured that day that he left that at any time, he could come back, as long as he came back successful.
That's what he thought.
Apparently, Korie didn't get the memo.
He was passionate with Karen. Passionate. Primitive. Carnal.
He and Karen went at it like Ali vs. Frazier, Kobe vs. Shaq or Obama vs. Hillary.
Like Hillary, Karen lost. Her breath was taken away. Her body glistened with sweat. Initially, she lay in bed with him with a smile on her face. Then that smile changed into a frown.
“So, who is she?”
Darren had a look on confusion on his face. Confusion as well as a look of riddled guilt.
“She, who? What?” He tried to feign ignorance.
“I'm not stupid, Darren. Your body is here, but your mind is somewhere else.”
“What? No. No, you're mistaken.”
“We never went at it like that before. You're . . . different. Today you went at it like never before.”
“Maybe that's the effect you have on me.”
“Maybe. Or maybe there is someone else on your mind.”
“You're mistaken.”
“Okay. I'll take your word on thatâfor now.”
Damned women's intuition. It's scary how accurate that shit is, he thought.
“So are you telling me I need to hold back with you from now on?” Darren tried to throw Karen off.
“Hold back?”
“Yeah. How do you know that I haven't been holding back my feelings for you all this time and tonight I just decided to let go?”
“Is that the case?”
“It is.”
Darren held Karen in his arms and soon after she fell asleep.
He lied. Like any other man, he lied.
She was on his mind.
As Karen lay in his arms, he stared at the ceiling and a million thoughts ran through his head. He thought back to how they met. He thought of their first kiss. He also thought about their first date and the first time that they made love. He thought about how nervous they were with one another. He also thought about how quickly they became familiar and comfortable with one another.
He thought about the days when they were poor; the days that they struggled. He thought about the times that they lay in each other's arms and talked about their dreams. He thought about their courtship; back when he had no car; back when they were both on the bus. He thought about the days that they went to Dairy Queen because he didn't have money for much else. He thought about days that they stayed home and watched videos because they couldn't afford to go to the movies. There was a time that they struggled, but everything was okay as long as they were together.
It was poetic; the way that things used to be. All these years later, he finally understood what it was that she meant. He finally got what it was that she had been trying to tell him. Struggling, in fact, was romantic. They had a few hard times, but all that mattered to Korie back then was that they endured them together.
Darren got it.
The thing is, he got it too late.
Five years too late.
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