Secret Desires (5 page)

"Good. I'm going to go check my car to see if I have something you can wear. You can't exactly show up at Fitson in nothing but a blazer and your bra." Natalie chuckled and immediately started to feel better. Quinn smiled and pulled her in for a quick hug. "Everything is going to be fine. You'll see. Be right back."

Ivy reappeared with a few paper towels from the restroom just as Quinn left. Natalie thanked her and shrugged out of her blazer - which was remarkably untouched by the coffee - as soon as Ivy was gone. She had the ruined shirt unbottoned and halfway off her body when a tall figure appeared in her doorway.

"Did I miss a memo about today being a casual day?"

Natalie startled at the man's sudden appearance and quickly covered her torso with her arms, her bra the only scant fabric protecting her modesty.

"Sorry, what?"

"Sorry, ma'am, I didn't mean to interrupt your-" he looked her up and down, apparently in search of the word that had escaped him. "Undressing?"

Natalie's cheeks flushed under the man's gaze. She didn't recognize him at all. Tall, dark and rugged was all she could see of him beyond her own state of undress. "Do you mind?" She asked, gesturing towards the door with her head.

His mouth half-cocked into a smile, he glanced for the nameplate on the door while simultaneously grabbing at the handle. "Nice to meet you, Natalie Harlow."

The Los Angeles offices of Fitson Entertainment Groupe were, like all of their properties, richly appointed and the very definition of sophistication and wealth. Beams of highly polished cherry wood lined the hallways from wall to wall, the light from crystal chandeliers overhead reflecting a luminous sparkle at their feet. Audra's signature and preferred black-and-white style was everywhere from the plush rugs, pillowy seating areas and in the standard employee uniform of a black suit for male employees and black dresses for female employees. Fiddle leaf fig trees punctuated the largely dichromatic space with brilliant bursts of lively green. Large windows provided picturesque views of the Los Angeles cityscape beyond their confines.

Ivy had politely declined Natalie's offer to drive her to Fitson's offices, and somehow made it there before her. Natalie merely smiled and let Ivy lead the way up the elevator and through the foyer to reception.

"Good afternoon. Ivy Whitcomb and Natalie Harland from Brighton New Media. Audra and James are expecting us."

The receptionist, April - whom Natalie had developed something of a friendly camaraderie with during her many visits to the office - suppressed her laughter as she looked from Ivy to Natalie and back again. "Good afternoon, Miss
Harlow
," she stressed. "Miss Whitcomb. Please have a seat."

"Fantastic, thanks," Ivy said before turning to the white and black seating area. April flashed Natalie a look that was equal parts
who-the-heck-was-that
and
did-she-really-just-say-that
? Natalie smiled and shrugged before joining Ivy.

Despite the mental calm she'd achieved since nearly breaking down into tears in her office, Natalie was still a bundle of nervous energy. Quinn had solved the wardrobe issue with a silky camisole she'd found in her car. The slightly-too-small garment looked more appropriate for the bedroom than the office, but with her blazer buttoned all the way up she doubted anyone would notice.

Natalie set her satchel on her lap and reached her hand in to let her fingertips graze against the soft Tiffany box that encased James' gift. What did it mean? She'd been clear about not wanting him to interfere with her job and yet according to Ivy, James was at least partially responsible for getting Natalie off of the Fitson account. Or was that Audra's doing? Ivy said she'd known both Audra and James for years from her time spent managing their account from San Francisco. Was it all just a big coincidence that Ivy was in L.A. and back on the account?

Natalie was itching for answers. She'd made it a point to never talk to James about work outside of work. Was that a mistake? Could she have seen this coming so she wasn't completely blindsided?

"Natalie?" She perked up at the sound of her name. "They're ready for you in Ms. Robertson's office. You can go ahead on back."

"Thank you, April." Natalie grabbed her bag and stood, leading Ivy down an art-adorned, U-shaped hallway to a large office with a double-door entrance at the very end. James' office was on the opposite side of the building situated at the end of a nearly identical hallway. She'd only been in it once, preferring instead to have meetings in Audra's space where there was no possibility of any off-limits temptation.

One of the doors was cracked open. Natalie quickly slid her palms over her trousers to dry the sweat that had suddenly formed, and reached up to knock when Ivy stepped ahead and walked through the entrance with no preamble.

Natalie stood still, using the opportunity to inhale deeply and exhale slowly, pushing what nervous energy she could from her stomach. She listened to the ringing chorus of effusive greetings coming from inside, most of them from Ivy, and then stepped into the office.

Ivy and Audra were mid-embrace, lips brushing against cheek as they greeted one another, while James sat perched at the edge of Audra's desk. Blue-green eyes locked on Natalie the moment she entered the room. His slate grey three-piece suit could not conceal the tension that influenced every bone and muscle in his body. It was the same trademark intensity she had noticed the very first time she laid eyes on him in the viewing room of the Golden Palm. Her heartbeat quickened, echoing throughout her body from the tips of her fingers to the apex of her thighs, the familiar pulse calling to the impulse to have his skin against hers. It wasn't the time or the place for such feelings, and so she took another deep breath and turned her attention instead to Audra.

"Natalie, always a pleasure to see you," Audra offered with a small but polite smile. Natalie shook her outstretched hand and wondered if the woman knew that just days before she'd run into her sister - both figuratively
and
literally.

"Likewise." Natalie returned the smile and turned her head just in time to see Ivy offer James the same greeting she had given Audra. Ivy placed her hand on his shoulder as they leaned in, and his eyes found hers as his mouth grazed against Ivy's cheek.

"Lunch should be arriving shortly. James ordered so God only knows what we're getting."

"Mmmhmm," Natalie answered, not really hearing Audra's words as her attention was still locked on Ivy and her hand on James. She removed it only to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear and reveal a pair of dazzling diamond studs. Her hand reached out and touched him again, on his hand instead of his arm this time, as she laughed and shared some anecdote about something or another related to San Francisco. When he spoke she held her hand to her chin and swept the length of her finger across the edge of her bottom lip. Her eyes lit up and danced. The corners of her mouth were pert and animated, her smile coming easily and often. When she reached out to touch him a third time James nonchalantly grabbed for her elbow and held her in place, smiling charmingly as he excused himself from her close proximity.

"Miss Harlow," he spoke as he broke the space between Natalie and Audra. He reached his hand out to shake hers and she obliged, trying to suppress the involuntary sigh that breathed through her lips at the touch of his warm, familiar skin. "Lovely to see you again so soon."

Don't lose your focus. He's still a client.
Natalie cleared her throat and withdrew her hand from his. "Mr. Fitzgerald," was all she could manage in response.

They convened at a small conference table made of a thick slab of wood with room for six. Audra took her usual spot at the head of the table with James seated to her right. Ivy, noticing the opportunity, sat to Audra's left opposite James. Knowing she couldn’t avoid eye contact with James sitting next to Ivy, Natalie opted instead to sit next to him. At least then Ivy could enjoy the attention she was clearly seeking from the two chief officers of Fitson Entertainment Groupe.

"I've kept an eye on the account during the past six months since it was moved to Los Angeles, and I have to say that I think Natalie has been doing a very good job," Ivy began, smiling ever-so-politely (but briefly) at Natalie. "The numbers are healthy, market saturation is good, and she's been producing quality content across the board."

Natalie could practically feel the
'but'
that was about to come out of Ivy's mouth. She, however, was still stuck on the admission that Ivy had been keeping a 'watchful eye' on the Fitson account, and by extension, Natalie herself.
Of course
! It was no mere coincidence that it was Natalie's office Ivy was in this morning. She was checking out her competition. The real question, however, was whether or not she knew she would be taking over the Fitson account and, if so, how? Who told her?

"But..."

And here we go
, Natalie laughed to herself.

"I know we can do better." She went on and on about what she could 'bring to the table' to 'really ramp up the campaign' and
blah blah blah
. Natalie was done listening. She was done. Off the account. Finished. Fitson wanted Ivy Whitcomb, they could have her. Clearly the girl wanted the account more than Natalie did so why not let her have it? It would be one less obstacle getting in the way of Natalie and James' relationship.

Natalie stole a side glance at James, taking in the sharp profile of his face as he listened intently to Ivy drone on about how much better she was than Natalie and oh weren't they grateful to have asked her to return. He turned his head slightly and caught just a glimpse of her staring at him. She turned to look at Ivy instead, pretending to listen while offering a polite smile each time Ivy looked her direction, which wasn't very often.

She felt something brush against her knee and when she looked down found James' hand. Neither Ivy or Audra had noticed, but they were engrossed in conversation and completely oblivious. His thumb traced up and down, the fabric of her trouser preventing skin-on-skin contact. She crossed her legs to discourage him and his hand dropped. He grabbed a hold of her chair and pulled her fractionally closer to him. Nobody seemed to notice. He pulled again until she was close enough to feel warmth radiating from his body. When she was close enough his hand settled on her knee and his fingertips roamed down towards the inner side of her leg.

Using her hands as leverage, Natalie pushed herself away from the table - James' hand fell away instantly - and stood, satchel in hand. Everyone turned to look at her, Ivy looking the most annoyed at having been interrupted.

"Would you excuse me for a few moments? I need to check in with my assistant at the office." She left without waiting for anyone to object or otherwise acknowledge her. She needed to get out of that room, to get away from those people. To get away from him.

Natalie closed the office door behind her and kept walking, no purpose guiding her except to get as far away as quickly as she could. She checked her watch and groaned at the display. Quitting time couldn't come fast enough. She stopped and leaned against the wall, hoping distance would allow her to collect her thoughts and gather her wits.

She heard him before she saw him. His footsteps echoed down the hallway, stopping only for a moment when he spotted her, then gaining again as he swiftly closed the distance between them.

"Oh God, not you," she cried under her breath. She didn't want James to see her like this, not when she had little control over her emotions at any given moment. She turned to walk away but he took her arm before she could move as much as a foot and ushered her into an open office.
His
open office. He carelessly threw the door closed and pushed Natalie against it, reaching around her body to lock the handle into place.

His mouth crushed against hers, hot and wet with fierce passion. Her hands pushed at his chest to protest but he took them and lifted them above her head, effectively pinning her with his body against the door. She pushed at him with her hips as his lips feasted hungrily on hers, but it did nothing to dissuade him. He arched his hips into hers until she could feel his constrained erection. She moaned at the sensation, felt her body responding to carnal need.

Fuck it.

Her lips parted and accepted his tongue against hers. His breaths came out in hot bursts at her cheek. He loosened his grip on her hands and her arms wrapped immediately around his shoulders, pulling him closer. His hands made work of unbuttoning her blazer and pushing it up and off of her shoulders. She shimmied out of the garment until it fell at her feet.

He swept his fingers under the satiny fabric of the camisole. "Natalie," he murmured against her lips. She moaned when his flesh met her breasts, cupping them with his palm until the mounds squished between his fingers. "Fuck, I've missed you."

"Is that why you had me taken off your account?" she asked between breaths as she opened her eyes. She watched his face screw into something resembling annoyance in spite of his obvious lust. "So you could see more of me?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" he breathed, clearly irritated by the sudden change of direction.

"You and Audra had me taken off your account so Ivy could be put back on it, even though I told you I didn't want you interfering with my job!" She pushed at his forearms until his hands fell out from beneath her blouse.

"I didn't talk to Graham Martin," he said as she walked past him into the open space of his office. "And I sure as hell didn't have you taken off the account."

Natalie shook her head and bit her lip to fight back the tears that had already threatened to fall once that day. "I don't believe you."

"You think I'm lying? Look at me, Natalie!"

She turned slowly to face him but could barely muster the courage to look him in the eye. The entire day so far was like being mentally beat up, and she hadn't even eaten lunch yet.

"Why would I do that?"

"I don't know!" she shrugged. "Maybe you think it might preclude us from Brighton's policy about dating clients?"

He reached out and took her hands. "Baby, look at me. Natalie!" he snapped to get her to oblige. "I had nothing to do with it. When I heard about Ivy coming on board I thought it was because it was what you wanted."

Natalie shook her head, running Ivy's words through her head over and over again. "Ivy said you and Audra requested her specifically."

"She's either lying or misinformed. Either way it doesn't matter. I don't give a fuck about Ivy."

It gave her a certain sense of satisfaction to hear him say those words, especially after watching her attempts at flirting with him. "I found her in my office this morning
by accident
. She claimed she thought my office was vacant because I didn't have any personal things out on my desk. But now I think she was just checking me out because she believes I'm the competition."

James pulled her into his chest and held her tight. "Don't worry about Ivy. People like her have to put up a big front because there's absolutely nothing remarkable about them beneath the surface. She thinks
you're
her competition? She isn't even on the same level as you, Natalie Harlow."

Wow.

She took no longer than a moment to breathe before pressing her lips to his, quickly reigniting the urgent desire to have his body against hers. She needed him - had to have him. She unfastened his suit jacket quickly and guided it off his body as he had done with her blazer, letting it fall to the floor in a pile of expensive wool. His vest followed next. By the time she had his shirt half unbuttoned he had her legs pinned against his desk. In one swift motion he picked her up and set her down on top of the glass tabletop, pushing piles of paperwork out of the way without discrimination. She discarded Quinn's silk camisole as he undressed and unbuttoned his fly.

She tugged hurriedly at his trousers and boxer briefs, her fingernails scraping against his skin in the process. He winced but the sound was lost on her lips.

He lifted her up and off the desk long enough for her to shimmy out of her panties and kick them across the room. No sooner had he set her back down than he was inside of her. It was what she needed and yet still not enough of it. His thrusts were quick but deep, filling her entirely. She cried wordlessly and wrapped her legs around him, pulling him tighter to her wanting body. They would be quick, but not fast enough. It was as though they were each racing towards an inevitable conclusion, neither one of them wanting the sensation to end and yet wanting it as quickly as possible.

His lips wrapped around her earlobe and suckled. She could feel her body tightening around him in response. "
Oh fuck, Natalie
," he growled.

"Yes," she breathed. In spite of her limited mobility perched on the desk, she could still move about him from the inside, constricting the highly sensitized muscles between her legs to wrap around him after each thrust. She could feel him engorge inside of her as he came, the blood pumping through him echoing his pulse against her own until she was coming with him, convulsing with pleasurable high.

It was as if a weight had been lifted off her chest. She was sated to the point of relaxation and wanted to laugh at the wonderful sense of reprieve. James leaned against her, spent and racing to catch his breath. Suddenly it was so clear to her, the power she had over the beautiful man between her legs. She could render him breathless. She could make him say her name as though it were a prayer or exaltation. And he in turn could make the entire world fade away into the distance where it didn't matter who wanted her job or what company policy she was breaking. He lifted his head and regarded her silently, his breath finally returning to a normal cadence.

"I love your smile," he said, his voice deep with contentment. The sentiment made her smile even more.

"You know what
I
love?"

James' face sobered fractionally. His chest quickened its pace to fill his lungs with oxygen. "What?"

Natalie bit her bottom lip as her smile grew in every direction. "You'll never sit at this desk again and not think of me."

"Well there is the fault in your logic, Natalie," he replied, his voice soft but serious. "Because that would imply that there are moments I'm not thinking of you."

Her heart skipped an entire beat. She had to part her lips to breathe in deeply enough to replenish the sudden emptiness. He blinked and it seemed to break the post-coitus spell that had seemingly encouraged his sentimental admission.

"Use my private bathroom to wash up if you like. I'll tell Audra and Ivy you're on your way." He re-dressed in his boxer briefs and trousers before retrieving her clothing and handing the items to her.

Suddenly she felt the need to say something. "James?"

"Yeah?" he asked as he buttoned his shirt, hiding smooth skin and ripped muscles beneath the crisp white fabric. He glanced up and looked expectantly at her, but she didn't know what to say.

"Nothing," she said finally, swallowing back unspoken words.

"Come on," he ordered, kissing her briefly as he adjusted his cufflinks.

Natalie felt like she was missing something. A moment had passed her by and she was only now realizing it. Or maybe she was tired past the point of exhaustion.

"I'll be right there."

It was a laborious task listening to Ivy attempt to charm the pants off of James and Audra as she outlined her plans for their various properties. The heads of Fitson were each attentive throughout her presentation, only asking a few questions here or there. By the time they'd finished eating lunch Ivy had proposed to essentially dismantle every single campaign Natalie worked tirelessly to create and implement, all the while using any available opportunity to make some kind of backhanded remark about the quality of Natalie's work (and always with a smile).

As soon as she stepped back into Audra's office Natalie had made the conscious decision not to give a shit about Ivy or her ideas. If she was the type of person to openly lie about how she got onto the account in the first place - that James and Audra had personally invited her onto it, which, at least according to James, wasn't true - then she wasn't worth the energy to be bothered about. Not that Ivy's vision for Fitson was captivating enough to keep Natalie's thoughts away from James. He had returned to the office with a slightly-less-than affable disposition, and she couldn't help but wonder what had changed so quickly in him. While she had found an incredible release of stress from their lovemaking, he seemed to have only gained more.

"And according to the prospectus originally drafted by our agency," Ivy began again, glancing through her copious notes for the nth time, "there is just one Fitson property currently without any representation. A private club in the Hills called The Golden Palm?"

James, who until that moment had sat in characteristically silent intensity, uncrossed his legs and reached into his suit jacket pocket. "The Golden Palm is off limits," he said, coolly regarding his retrieved phone. Every head in the room was turned to face him. "You have a lot of good ideas, Ivy, but we're not going to disassemble everything Natalie built just because she's no longer on the account. We can reevaluate in a few months if necessary."

Natalie didn't dare look in Ivy's direction, but she could see enough in her peripheral vision to know the girl was wholly rebuffed and taken aback. Natalie's heart was replete with pride after James' unequivocal defense of her work.

Audra, who looked somewhat astonished herself, rose from her seat and ushered a hand towards Ivy. "Thank you for coming in this afternoon. Let me walk you out." She cast a quick glance at Natalie and then at James, who had quietly accepted a phone call on the other side of the office. Natalie gathered her own belongings and tried not to watch as Audra shuffled Ivy out of her office. She almost felt sorry for Ivy.

Almost.

"Natalie?" James called out for her when they were alone again.

"Yes?"

He pocketed his phone and crossed the expanse of the room towards her. "I'd like to see you tonight."

At that moment it hit her: she no longer had a work-sanctioned excuse to see him. Their entire relationship was now relegated to the confines of total secrecy. As soon as she left the building everything would change.

"Did you really mean what you said? About not wanting to pretend?"

He searched her face for a moment before answering. "I meant it."

She took a deep breath, using the moment to gather her courage. Now that they were officially in the darkness of secrecy, she had to know something. "Are you going to ask me to choose between you and my job?"

James brushed a few stray hairs off her forehead. "Let's not talk about that right now." He kissed her, sweetly and unhurriedly. She couldn't keep track of his mercurial mood shifts; maybe it was better that way.

"I'll be home by six. If I'm not, there's a spare key taped to the underside of my welcome mat."

The corners of his mouth picked up. "You're giving me a key?"

"No," she chuckled. "Not yet at least."

His face turned somber again as he stared at her as though he were staring off into the distance. She watched his eyes for any indication of what he was thinking, or feeling. She waited for him to say
something
, but he didn't.

"What is it?" she asked after a long pause.

"Nothing," he said, breaking himself out of the moment. He kissed her again, then pulled away and regarded her with a raised eyebrow. "You really don't have anything personal on your desk?"

Natalie shrugged. "It's not like I can put up a framed picture of you."

"Hmm." He leaned in and kissed her again, lingering a moment longer than necessary on her lips.

"
Ahem
," Audra cleared her throat from the double-door entrance. "You're not going to have sex in my office, too, are you?"

Natalie groaned. Her face flushed hot with humiliation. "I've got to get back to work."
And never again look Audra Robertson in the eye
, she added to herself.

"I'll see you tonight," he promised.