Secretly Hers (Sterling Canyon) (13 page)

It seemed the most natural thing in the world to reach out to touch her, yet unlike every other time, today she recoiled. He sighed. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am that you got caught in the middle between my brother and me. I should’ve done a better job of protecting you. Should’ve warned you as soon as I knew he was in town. I thought I had it under control.”

“Yes, by making sure your entire family thought of me as some kind of joke, or bimbo, or both. Thanks for that awesome protection.”

She’d almost managed the entire sentence without her voice cracking, but he heard it waver, which made him want to gather her up in his arms and whisper something soothing in her ear. Only her serious back-off vibes kept him from trying.

“Deb caught me off guard with her questions. I wasn’t thinking straight with everything happening at the hospital. I’m really sorry, except at least now you know to stay away from Mason so he can’t hurt you again.”

Kelsey laughed in his face. “
Mason
can’t hurt me? That’s rich!”

“What’s with the sarcasm?”

“
He
didn’t hurt me, Trip. You did. All Mason did was ask me out after learning you didn’t care about me. You, on the other hand, have been using me for weeks while joking about me behind my back.”

“Is that what he’s trying to make you believe?” Chaotic thoughts and a touch of panic danced through his mind wearing sharp heels. “Kelsey, please stay away from Mason. He’s not a good person. He’s not trustworthy.”

“Unlike you?”

“Damn right, unlike me.” Trip edged closer to her, determined to bust through the invisible wall she’d constructed, and tipped her chin up with his forefingers. He stared directly into her eyes while unfamiliar feelings and awkward words forced their way out of his mouth. “Look at me. I’m sick about the fact that you got hurt last night. I hate that what happened made you think for one second that I don’t care about you. Nothing is further from the truth.” He stroked her jaw with his thumb, like he was calming a skittish horse. “I care very much about you and how you feel. If you’d just take a deep breath and remember everything we’ve done and said to each other these past several weeks, you’ll believe me.”

And then, because he was only inches from her mouth and couldn’t help himself, he kissed her. Instead of kissing him back like always, she pushed away from him and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, which wrung out a little corner of his heart. “Don’t kiss me again. I told you already—whatever this was, it’s over. So is this conversation.”

“Hang on.” He rubbed his temple as he glanced around, groping for the right words. “Can’t we just rewind a week or two and start over? Especially now that you know Mason’s not going to be your future husband.”

“Oh, really? How do I know that? Because you say so? Because you’ve got some conspiracy theory drummed up instead of considering that maybe he actually likes me for who I am? That maybe, unlike you, he sees me as more than a friend with benefits?”

Whether it was her screwed-up thoughts, the bright sun, or the remnants of alcohol still swimming in his veins that had his body flashing hot and cold, he couldn’t quite say. He wiped his forehead with his shirtsleeve and tried to slow his heart rate.

“I sure hope you’re saying all this just to get my goat, because if you’re actually considering going out with my brother after the things I’ve told you about him—past and present—well, I’m just . . . I’m . . .” When he couldn’t think of something better to say, he finished with, “That’s just not going to happen, I can promise you that much.”

Instead of getting mad like he expected, Kelsey waved dismissively. “Pffft. Then I’m not too worried, because your promises don’t mean much, do they, cowboy?”

“What the hell does that mean? I keep all my promises.”

“No, you don’t.” She held up her fingers and started ticking them off, one by one. “You promised to keep our fling a secret, but you sure screwed that up last night with the public boxing match. You promised to help me make a relationship work, but you’re doing everything you can to mess that up, too. You promised to be a good friend, but you’ve been intent on messing with my business and now you’re threatening me.”

“I haven’t threatened you, despite the fact you seem determined to push me against a wall.” He stepped closer, leaned in, and spoke slowly and firmly. “I know right now you think I’m full of shit, but weeks ago I told you about how Mason treats me. You believed me that night, so believe me now. He’s not the man for you. You need to steer clear of him.”

“Or what?” She stuck out her little chin.

“Or else!” He thrust his arms wide open.

“I see we’ve reached the really grown-up part of the conversation. Are you going to start beating
me
up now?”

“Dammit, Kelsey, why won’t you accept my apology and agree to stay away from Mason?” Then a horrible thought burned a hole in his gut. He withdrew from her and narrowed his gaze, wooziness and nausea mixing together. “Do you actually like him?”

Kelsey averted her gaze for a moment, refusing to answer. Holy shit, could she actually prefer Mason to him? His chest burned as if he were running stairs at thirteen thousand feet.

When she finally spoke, she cocked her head and stared at him like a hunter with a deer in her sights. “Why do you care who I’m with anyway?”

“What?” Another wave of heat radiated through his body.

“You heard me, why do you care who I date?”

“Because . . .”

She waited, tapping her toe. He frowned, unable to offer an answer. Did he care who she dated, or did it only matter because it was Mason? Well, hell, he couldn’t answer if he didn’t know. What he did know was that he’d never accept her and Mason as a couple.

How could she even consider being with his brother, anyway? It was gross. And how had he lost control of this entire situation? Trip wasn’t used to losing control, especially not to a woman.

“Promise me, princess, no Mason.”

“You know what? When you’re ready to be honest with me, then maybe we can talk. Until then, stay out of my way.” She spun on her heel and slammed the storm door closed in his face.

Trip stood on the porch, staring at the closed door.
That went well.

A breeze rustled some nearby leaves, while others fell and drifted to the ground. He turned and picked up the discarded flowers, then set them by the front door and walked down the steps.

When he glanced back over his shoulder, he noticed Fee standing on the porch with his flowers. She waved before running back inside.

Trip sighed and started walking toward Backtrax. His head throbbed with thoughts about Mason, the clients he’d let down, the damage control he needed to do with his image, and Kelsey.

Today had been the first time she hadn’t succumbed to him at all, which he didn’t like one bit. What he liked less was realizing how deeply she’d been hurt by his carelessness.

Maybe Maura had a point about his stupid proposition. Now both he and Kelsey felt like hell, and he had no idea how to fix it for either of them.

About a block before he got home, his phone rang, sparking a little hope. Maybe she’d reconsidered her harsh position.

He snatched the phone from his pocket and glanced at the screen, at which point hope turned to dread. “Hey, Dad. How are you?”

Chapter Twelve

An ocean breeze rustled the lush greenery surrounding the terrace, wafting the tropical flowers’ perfume into the warm, salty air.

“Waking up to this view is amazing, Kelsey. Thanks a million for this trip. Yesterday was so much fun.” Emma spun around on the terrace of the three-bedroom villa, with the Sea of Cortez crashing against the rocky promontories behind her in the distance. “I wish you felt better, though.”

Kelsey gulped some bottled water, having just thrown up ten minutes earlier. “I must’ve eaten the wrong food last night. Or maybe had one too many margaritas.”

“We did knock back a lot of margaritas last night, but you were queasy yesterday morning, too,” Avery reminded her. “And we didn’t have anything but chips and guac—and margaritas—the night we arrived.”

Emma sat on the edge of Kelsey’s cushioned outdoor chaise. “That’s true. I ate everything you did yesterday and I feel great.”

“I’ll be fine with a little more water and some sun.” Kelsey chugged the rest of the water and stood up. “Let’s hit the pool before our spa appointments.”

“Sounds good to me.” Avery led them through the sliders and back inside the grand villa, with its stucco walls, oversize furnishings, and Mexican pottery. She grabbed the stack of plush beach towels provided by the hotel. “All set.”

Although eager to return to the tiered, infinity-edge pool overlooking the sea, another wave of nausea roiled in Kelsey’s stomach. “Hang on a second. I need to find my sunglasses.”

As Emma and Avery began gathering their beach bags and books, Kelsey trotted to her bathroom and fell to her knees in front of the toilet. She didn’t know which was worse, throwing up or suffering nausea without the relief of throwing up.

After a minute, she gave up and went to the vanity to grab sunscreen and sunglasses. As she fished through the drawer where she’d stashed all her toiletries, she came across her unopened box of tampons. Technically, she should’ve finished her period before this trip, but it still hadn’t started.

Her stomach gurgled again and, wide-eyed, she glanced at the toilet as if in slow motion.

Oh. No. Way.

No
way
!

The unopened blue box taunted her from inside the drawer. She wiped the thin line of perspiration from her forehead and retrieved the box. Grabbing her stomach in awe and wonder, her mind fought against the most reasonable explanation for her nausea and those unused tampons.

She and Trip had been careful—except when they hadn’t been. There had been that one spontaneous night when he’d come unprepared and then stayed until dawn. Twice they’d had sex without protection. But he’d been careful to pull out at the crucial moments. So how did this happen, if, in fact, this had happened?

Dazedly, she wandered into the bedroom and collapsed on the edge of her unmade bed, all the while staring at the tampon box.

Could she even get a pregnancy test down here? Maybe she should she wait until she got home. Yeah, right. Like she could wait another forty-eight hours to find out if she was pregnant. An involuntary shiver passed through her body.

Oh, God. She might be pregnant. A mother-to-be.

A dream come true, except not like this. Not before marriage. Not by a man who didn’t love her.

“Kelsey, is everything okay?” Avery called out from the living room.

Tears sprang to Kelsey’s eyes. How could she have let this happen? How would she tell her friends? And why on earth was some part of her thrilled by the idea even though she knew Trip would rather kiss his brother’s ass than become a father?

A light rap at the door startled her just before Emma popped her head in. “Let’s go!” Emma’s smile faded the instant she saw Kelsey. Her forehead creased and she rushed across the room. “What’s wrong, Kels?”

Words wouldn’t come out, so Kelsey held up the unopened box of tampons and wiped her eyes.

Emma studied the box and turned her confused expression on Kelsey. “I don’t get it. Why are you crying about a box of tampons?”

Avery wandered into the room at that point, eyeing them and listening.

“A box of
unopened
tampons,” Kelsey corrected, mumbling through her tears.

Emma remained perplexed, but Avery gasped. “Oh, no.”

Kelsey nodded, sniffling. “I might be pregnant.”

“Oh!” Emma dropped the box and covered her mouth with both hands.

“That damn idiot!” Avery barked. “First the big fight in town and now this?”

Kelsey held up her hand. “Stop, Ave. It takes two. Trip didn’t force me into anything I didn’t want to do.”

“You and Trip are having a baby?” Emma started pacing in small circles, muttering, “A baby.”

Avery walked over to sit beside Kelsey. She hesitated, then brushed Kelsey’s hair off her shoulder. “We don’t know anything for sure, yet.” She placed one hand on Kelsey’s thigh and gave a reassuring squeeze. “You’ve been under a lot of stress, which could delay your period. And you wouldn’t be the first person to get queasy in Mexico.”

Kelsey nodded, unsure which option she hoped was true. “You’re right. It could be both of those things.”

“Do you want to get a pregnancy test, or would you rather wait until you get back home?” Emma asked once she’d stopped pacing.

“I don’t think I can wait,” Kelsey admitted.

“Good, because I don’t think I can, either.” Avery sighed before springing up off the bed. “You two wait here. I’ll see if they sell home pregnancy tests in the boutique. If not, I’ll grab a cab to a local pharmacy and see what I can find.”

“We should probably cancel our reservations at the tequila tasting tonight, too,” Emma said to no one in particular, her gaze bouncing all around the room as if she might hit upon some magic solution if she looked hard enough.

Kelsey began crying again. “I’m sorry I’m ruining this trip for you guys.”

“Don’t be silly.” Emma sat down and hugged her. Her gentle voice, full of sincerity and concern, made Kelsey cry harder. “We wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for you. And anyway, is this really such terrible news? You’ve always wanted to be a mother. If you are pregnant, we will look at the bright side and celebrate together.”

“Thanks, Em.” Kelsey wiped her eyes and squeezed Emma. “You always want everyone to be happy.”

Of course, Avery wasn’t talking sunshine and rainbows. She smoothed her ponytail and then set her hands on her hips. “First things first. Let’s get the facts. Then we’ll celebrate, one way or the other, I guess. Though the idea of Trip being your baby daddy doesn’t exactly make me want to throw a party.”

Avery had always been a bit wary of Trip, worried about his influence over Grey. Not shocking, considering Trip hadn’t been exactly supportive of how Grey had let his feelings for Avery influence certain business and financial decisions this past year.

But while Trip may have projected a certain carefree attitude about life and women, Kelsey knew there was more to him.

She’d spent the past two days thinking about the way he’d wanted to kick the ass of whoever made her cry, how he’d bought her Cowboy and the beautiful hair combs, and all the nice things he’d said to her during the past several weeks. Now she twisted the ends of her hair in her finger and stared at the ground, speaking softly. “He’s not so bad. There’s more to him than what he shows most of the world.”

“I thought you hated him after the whole Mason debacle?” Avery cocked her head.

“I was embarrassed and confused and angry.” Kelsey looked from Avery to Emma, who continued to offer an understanding smile. “But he hunted me down to apologize the next day. He told me he cares about me . . . a lot.”

“So you’re going to forgive him, just like that?” Avery’s mouth hung open in dismay.

“I think he beat up his brother because he thought Mason would hurt me. And I think those accusations Mason made about what Trip told his parents were taken out of context to make it all sound worse than Trip meant them. I guess, yes, I believe Trip’s explanation.” Kelsey looked from Avery to Emma and back again. “And if I’m pregnant, he and I are going to have to talk. At the very least, we need to be friends.”

“Oh, no. I see you spinning dangerous fantasies, Kelsey.” Avery shook her head in frustration. “You think he’s going to embrace this news and marry you now?”

Embrace it? Hardly. At first he’d probably freak out. Worse, he might even blame her, or accuse her of trapping him. The dark thoughts caused a shudder to travel down her spine.

No. He’d always been fair and up-front. For whatever reason, she had faith in him to be reasonable.

With that thought, she met Avery’s skeptical gaze. “I know you think I’m always a fool when it comes to men, but Trip gets me and likes me anyway. I believe I matter to him, even if I know he’d hesitate to make a major commitment.”

“Hesitate?” Avery crossed her arms. “That’s a nice euphemism.”

“Like Grey’s so perfect, Avery?” Kelsey shot a cool stare at her friend, then noticed Emma wince. “It’s true, Em. Grey was the one who coined that ugly nickname.”

“I know.” Avery blushed. “I’m sorry. That was awful. Grey has a terrible habit of giving nicknames without thinking about it.”

Kelsey waved her hand in the air. “
Boomerang
is the least of my worries right now. Let’s just find a test so I can know, one way or the other, if I’m having a baby.”

“Mason, you’re not pressing charges against your brother.” Ross Cutler’s tone brooked no defiance as he sat at the dining table between his two sons. “I don’t want to hear another word about it.”

For the most part, Trip had been keeping his eyes downcast, which was just as well. He seethed while sitting in the condo Kelsey had picked for Mason, staring at the pricey furniture and high-end kitchen. The condo she might have figured she’d be spending more time in with Mason, which was at least five times nicer than the dumpy apartment Trip and Grey currently shared out of necessity.

“He broke my nose, Dad,” Mason complained. “Why should he get away with it?”

“Because you provoked him by going after Kelsey.”

Mason sat back in his chair and crossed his arms like a petulant kid. “He said he didn’t care about her.”

“Mason, I’m not stupid. It’s more than a coincidence you ended up on a date with that poor girl. Aren’t you ashamed of using her as a pawn just to needle Gunner?” Their dad shook his head. “Honestly, I can’t believe you two. It’s like you’re trying to give me another heart attack.”

At least this time, with Kelsey nowhere in sight, Mason didn’t deny the real motive for that “date.”

Then his Dad turned his ire on him. “Gunner, at the very least you owe Mason, Deb, and me an apology. You’re lucky those cops pulled you off your brother before something worse happened.”

Trip tensed his fists. Heat raced to his face. He couldn’t deny the truth. He’d been like a wild animal that night.

“I know, Dad.” He looked across the table at Mason. “I’m sorry I roughed you up. I was pretty shitfaced when I ran into you and Kelsey. I snapped. I just snapped.”

“Mason,” their dad interrupted. “When you were younger, I was battling a lot of guilt over what I’d done, so I empathized with your struggle to accept the changes in our family, to accept your brother. But why the hell haven’t you outgrown it? This taunting and bullshit has got to stop.” Then he looked at Trip. “And isn’t it time
you
started making some effort to be part of this family?”

Trip abruptly pushed back from the table and walked into the living room, running his hands through his hair. This conversation had been put off too long, but he hated having it in front of Mason.

“Where are you going?” his dad asked.

Trip inhaled slowly, his throat tightening in anticipation of offending his father, his eyes stinging like a sissy, making him feel like that ten-year-old boy again.

“Look, I’m sorry I beat him up, but I won’t lie. It was a long time coming. And unlike you, I don’t have empathy for poor little Mason’s imperfect family.” He gripped the back of a random chair in the living room, squeezing it until his knuckles turned white. His gaze shifted from Mason’s smug expression to his father’s flabbergasted one. “You all talk about how
you
were affected back then.
My
mother died. I got yanked away from my friends and grandfather and then plopped into a house with two people who resented me, and a father who considered me an obligation.” Despite hearing his voice crack, he forced himself to continue, although now he averted his gaze. “I did everything I could to fit in, then to be invisible, and then when I finally walked away, you all gave me shit about that, too.” A sense of defeat made his legs feel heavy as he walked back to the table. “Dad, if you hadn’t sent Mason here in some attempt to force a family bond that’s never going to exist, none of this would’ve happened.”

“So this is my fault?” His dad scoffed.

“I don’t mean it like that, but why can’t you just accept that this,” Trip circled his hand among the three men, “isn’t meant to be?”

“Because it
is
meant to be. Like it or not, you’re my son, and you two are brothers. Maybe you weren’t planned, but there’s a reason you’re
my
son.” His dad stood and looked at Mason. “I need a few minutes alone with your brother. Can you go in your bedroom or take a walk?”