SeducedByTheAntiHero (11 page)

Right then, she didn’t want to be anywhere but alone with
him. But given that there had been a finality in the tone of their last
meeting, and the way their conversation had been going before Chloe had
interrupted, that didn’t seem very likely. Despite the odd warmth in his eyes
as he looked at her now.

It had been a long, confusing day and she knew if she went
out with them tonight it would just get worse. That knowledge prompted her to
interrupt Chloe’s banter with Brian. “You know what? I think I’m just gonna
head back to my room tonight, Chloe.”

A frown drew a line down the center of Chloe’s pretty face. “Are
you sure? You okay?”

“Yeah.” Emma nodded with a smile she hoped was reassuring. “It’s
just been a long day and I’m tired. But tell Tyler congrats for me, okay?”

“You suck, but all right,” Chloe said, giving her a playful
nudge with her shoulder. “I’ll drop you off on our way.”

“Don’t worry about it, Chloe. I’ll take her.” Ben’s low,
gravel-coated voice startled her. That was the last thing she had expected to
hear. Apparently she wasn’t the only one.

The surprise on Chloe’s face was quickly masked by a
displeased pout. “What, you’re not coming out now?”

Ben’s eyes never left Emma as he spoke to Chloe. “Nah. I’m
not feeling it, either.”

“All right, you guys are losers.” Chloe acted like she was
upset that they weren’t going, but Emma knew that she was secretly thrilled
Emma was leaving with Ben. Although she didn’t know why. It wasn’t like they
were sneaking off to be alone together.

But as she walked out of the building with Ben toward his
truck, she had a moment to wonder what they actually
were
doing.

The silence on the way to her motel was palpable, and if one
of them didn’t break it soon, Emma felt like she might start babbling. Trouble
was, she just didn’t know what to say. She was on the verge of giving herself a
tension headache trying to come up with a subject that he would respond to with
more than a monosyllabic answer, when he spoke.

“So you’re not gonna ask me what that girl was talking about
back there?” He slanted her a look out of the corner of his eye that she
couldn’t quite read. Was it apprehension about what her opinion of him now was?
Or did he just know she had questions and want to get the inquisition over
with?

In all honesty, she hadn’t planned to ask him about it and
told him so. “What went on between the two of you, past or present, is none of
my business. I just get annoyed when other people don’t extend to me the same
courtesy.”

He tilted his head to look at her as they hit a red light. Expression
still unreadable. “Sounds like she wasn’t the only one to invade your privacy
today.”

Emma gave him a tight smile. “No, she wasn’t. But I don’t
give much credence to rumors and gossip. People make up stories about other people
for all kinds of reasons that, a lot of times, have little to do with the
truth. I prefer to base my opinions on my own personal experience.”

“That’s a rare quality you possess, Sugar.” He looked away. Then,
on a sigh, he ran his fingers through his hair and said, “Just for shits and
giggles, though, lemme guess what they said to you. I’m a rough player who’ll
chew up your little heart and spit it back out. Then I’ll run off to get high
and play with my gun collection right before I knock over a couple of
7-Elevens.”

The way he said it, with such wry sarcasm, had her laughing.
“Yeah, that about sums it up. Only you’ve given way more details, just now,
about your unsavory character. Those women today gave me a more high-level
warning.”

“And what was that?”

“That you’re dangerous and I’d save myself a lot of trouble
and heartache if I left you alone.” Gossip and joking aside, she had to wonder
what events had taken place to give Ben such a reputation. It was more than
just the jealousy of those women. She could see that they believed he was a
genuine bad boy, and not just in the fun, sexy way.

“Do you believe that? That I’m dangerous?” He leveled her a
look. This one was filled with a contradicting mixture of resignation and hope.
Like he thought he knew her answer but was bracing himself just in case he was
wrong. Something told her that he was used to being proven wrong when it came
to the temperaments of other people.

“If you’re asking me if I think that you’ll hurt me? Then
the answer is, no, I don’t.” She took a deep breath and then plowed on with the
next bit. “But you’ve obviously got a past, Ben. And I completely respect your
privacy and understand that you don’t want to share it with someone you barely
know. That’s why I’m not asking.”

Then there was silence. A lot of it.

In fact, it lasted the rest of the way to her motel and
resonated even after he had cut the truck’s engine. She didn’t know why she sat
there with him in silence. But it was a few minutes before she realized that
their conversation was over and she should be thanking him and exiting the
truck. And she had just unbuckled her seatbelt, when the silence was broken.

“When I was ten years old, my mom walked out on us,” he said
softly. Almost too softly for her to hear, but when she did, her breath caught.
She completely froze in position with the seatbelt halfway off, just in case
any sudden movement might deter him from continuing.

“There was no goodbye, no note, not really even a warning
that she was about to split. Just, one morning she was there, then when we got
home from school, she was gone.” As he spoke he didn’t look at her. Instead, he
stared down at his hands, picking at the skin of his fingers.

“I didn’t—” He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. “I
didn’t handle that so well.” He gave a humorless laugh. “Actually, none of us
really did well with it. I was just the most self-destructive. It’s probably a
pretty typical story. I kind of ghosted on my dad and brothers. Fell into the
wrong crowd, started getting high and drinking. Got arrested a couple times as
a teenager for stupid shit, like destruction of property.” He looked at her
then. “So if you were curious as to how I got my reputation, that’s it.”

Emma could feel her brow furrow. “But this was all stuff
that happened when you were a kid, right? Because you look like you’ve turned
yourself around from where I’m sitting.”

He grunted. “Yeah. Adam had a lot to do with that. And this
is a small town, Emma. Small towns have long memories.”

Choosing to ignore that last part, she asked him something
she had been curious about since they had met. No telling when he would next be
in such a talkative mood. “Tell me about Adam.”

Those whisky-colored eyes darkened as they narrowed on her
and she laughed. “I’m talking about your brothers in general. Your relationship
with them. I mean, I know you in the biblical sense, but I don’t really
know
you.” Her voice softened as she tilted her head to rest against the seat to
look at him. “I’d like to.”

Something changed in his expression then. There was a warmth
she couldn’t quite define. It was coupled with a vulnerability and yearning
that she found heartbreaking. As though no one had ever expressed an interest
in him as a person before. But just as she was starting to get lost in that
warmth, he once again looked away to keep picking at his fingers.

“My brothers are jackasses and I tell them so every day.” The
corner of his mouth twitched and she could tell that he thought of them fondly
as jackasses.

“Oh, tough love then, huh?”

“Yeah,” he chuckled. “I wouldn’t trade those assholes for
the world.” He shifted in his seat to turn toward her as his expression
sobered. “After my mom bailed, my dad was in a real bad way, emotionally. He
didn’t want to be left to raise four boys on his own, but he did the best he
could. Still, Brandon pretty much raised us when it got to be too much for Dad.
The experience brought the guys together, made them a tighter knit family but…”
He shook his head. “I just didn’t want to deal with it so I pulled away. In my
teens I was barely ever home and when I was, I didn’t stick around for very
long. They tried to keep tabs on me, especially Adam, but I wasn’t interested
so I became good at avoidance.”

Already Emma had noticed, not quite a rift between Ben and
his brothers, but a divide, as though he didn’t quite belong. She had suspected
that it wasn’t due to a lack of effort on their part, but more of a choice on
Ben’s. Now that these suspicions had been confirmed, she once again felt her
heart expanding for him that he had ever wanted to make that choice. She
couldn’t imagine what her life would be like without her brother. Empty in all
the ways that counted, most likely.

“Adam, though.” He shook his head again with a rueful tilt
to his lips. “Man, say what you want about him, but that boy just doesn’t give
up.”

“I don’t blame him,” she said with more intensity than she
had meant to. But… “I would never give up on my brother.”

Ben gave her a long, assessing look. “Then you and my twin
have a lot in common.” When he kept staring at her as if he were trying to see
inside her skin, she started to fidget.

Thankfully, he took pity on her and continued to speak. “A
few years ago, I hit bottom and was at my breaking point. Adam was the one who
pulled me out of it, got me back on the straight and narrow.” His eyes took on
a distant quality as he gazed out the window. “He’s always been my support
system and up until that point, I’d taken him for granted. I’d finally seen how
wrong that was, what I was putting my brothers through, so I got done with it. I
wanted to be someone that they could depend on. Be the reliable one and for
once in my life be able to say that the people I love can count on me.”

She ducked her head to catch his eyes. “I can see that
you’ve done that,” she said softly. “I don’t give a shit what anyone else says.
You work way too hard for anything less.”

And she’d seen that first hand in the way he had been
helping her. Most guys probably would have taken Chloe’s challenge and used it
to get some no-strings sex. Ben had not only given her enough raw material to
draw from to spice up her writing well into her old age, but he had taken an
genuine interest in her story, her characters. She had gotten some great ideas
from him and they weren’t all limited to the erotic parts of her story. Then
she thought of something else.

“Hell, even people you don’t love can count on you.” When he
shook his head in confusion she explained. “That drummer that keeps flaking out
on the house band at Able’s. He owes you, seriously.”

That earned her an actual laugh and she thought it was the
sweetest sound she had ever heard.

“Yeah, he’s a lazy ass. But I actually kinda like it when
he’s not there. He’s pretty terrible.”

Emma laughed. “Well, then you’re a vast improvement because
you’re pretty amazing.”

The grin lingered on his face even as he rolled his eyes. “Now
you’re just trying to inflate my ego.”

“Hey,” she held up her hands, “I just call it as I see it.”

An enormous eighteen wheeler passed Ben’s truck as they sat there
smiling at each other, making enough noise to remind Emma of where they were. “Do
you wanna come inside for a while? Might be more comfortable.”

The invitation wasn’t really a come on, she was enjoying
their conversation, but if he took it that way? That was fine by her. Just as
long as she got to stay with him for a little while longer.

His expression gave nothing away as he said, “Yeah, I do.”

Emma couldn’t stop the satisfied smile that spread her lips
as she climbed out of the truck.

In her mad dash to get ready for the fight at Chloe’s urging
earlier that night, she had tossed out the contents of her purse onto her bed
to grab the essentials to switch purses. She had forgotten about the mess she
had made until she unlocked the door to her room and flipped on the light.

Cursing herself for not thinking ahead, she muttered an
apology for the mess, then went to tidy up. While she was shoving papers,
receipts and empty gum wrappers back into her main purse, Ben slowly shut the
door behind him. He sauntered up to the end of the bed and bent down to pick up
something from the floor. Figuring it was probably an old receipt or something
that had fallen off the bed, Emma didn’t pay much attention.

That was until she saw his eyebrow quirk and the cutest half-smile
tilt his lips.

She got lost for a few seconds staring at him until his eyes
flashed up to hers, the amusement in them plain. That was when she realized
what exactly it was that he was holding. It was the list of erotic novels that
Jessica had recommended she read. She had never actually gotten around to
reading them, but some of those titles were blatant advertisements for the
types of books they were.

“Doing a little light reading, Sugar?”

Snatching the piece of paper out of his hand when he offered
it, she felt her face heat to ten shades of red. Really, she didn’t know why
she was so embarrassed. Together, they had more than likely done half of the
things mentioned in those books. But there it was. Her old modesty rearing its
ugly head.

“It’s a list of books my writing mentor gave me.” She held
his gaze for about two seconds before she had to look away and pretend to keep
fussing with her purse. “You know, for, um, research purposes.”

He laughed, the sound low and seductive and given freely,
with more ease than he had previously shown up to this point. “I still can’t
believe a sexy woman like you has problems finding a man who wouldn’t bend over
backwards to please you.”

As her face flushed yet again from his compliments, she felt
her heart begin to beat erratically. “Well, part of the problem is that I’m
extremely picky.” She cleared her throat and shoved her now-full purse onto the
floor by the bed. “I had a certain type of man I wanted and wouldn’t settle for
anything different.”