Seduction (5 page)

"I hated him, I hated myself. He started to
stroke me and I stopped fighting him. I relaxed my body and let him
fondle me. I wanted him to trust me. As soon as he realized I
stopped fighting, he let his guard down and that's when I attacked.
I kneed him in the balls and he dropped to the ground, hovering in
pain."

So that's where she learned it. I've been on
the receiving end of her knee. It hurt like hell. I'm proud of my
little ninja.

"I jumped out of the bed and grabbed whatever
was near me, which happened to be my bedside lamp and smashed it
against his head. It knocked him out cold. He was already drunk so
I figured I had a little time to get dressed and get the hell out
of there. I threw on some clothes, emptied my school backpack and
filled it with some additional clothing, a few toiletries and my
phone. Then I went into that bastard's room in search of his
wallet. It was in a pair of pants that were on the stained carpet
floor of his room. He only had eighty bucks, but I needed any money
I could get. I took it all and left the house in the middle of the
night and never looked back."

She's quiet and I know she's waiting for me
to say something, but I'm stunned silent by her revelations. She
had a rough childhood. Here I am, hating everything about my
parents and my life, when I was handed everything to me with a
silver spoon. My parents may be assholes, but at least I had
endless resources handed to me.

"Did you go back to the convent?" It's the
only question I can mange to think of as I'm still trying to
process all that she's told me. Cassie was almost raped. No wonder
she has body image issues.

"No. They'd just make sure I was assigned to
another foster home and I was never going back to live with another
set of strangers again. I lived on the street for a while. I met
another girl named Lucy who was around my age. We'd work odd jobs
during the day, just so we'd have enough to feed ourselves for the
week. Then at night we'd break into one of the local churches in
whatever town we were in and spend the night. Ever since my
upbringing with the nuns and convent, the church has been a part of
me. It was the only place I ever felt completely safe."

"Where's Lucy now?" I've never heard Cassie
talk about her before tonight.

"I don't know. One day she ran into an old
friend of hers. She left me at the church that evening to go meet
up with him and she never returned. I looked for her every day.
Weeks went by, but it was like she just disappeared. As hard as it
was, I had to start thinking about my future. I couldn't keep
wasting my days looking for her when she most likely left town
willingly."

She's playing with the hem of her shirt again
and I'm beginning to realize this is another nervous habit of hers.
"She was my only friend, Theo, and she just left me. She didn't
even say goodbye. It's hard to think highly of myself when everyone
in my life finds it so easy to leave me."

"Cassie," I whisper, reaching out to comfort
her by touching her knee. "Please don't think like that. You were
handed some shitty cards in life but that doesn't mean you weren't
wanted. It just means the people put in your path were undeserving
of someone like you."

"You don't get it. You can't possibly
comprehend what my life was like and I'm glad you don't have to,
but I'm envious of your innocence to it. You grew up with both
parents, money and entitlement. You have no idea what it's like to
feel unwanted."

I laugh, releasing her knee and stand up from
the sofa. Her words hit a vulnerable spot somewhere inside me. What
she's describing is exactly what I felt.

"I may have grown up with both parents, money
and entitlement, but that doesn't mean I was wanted. My nanny and
housekeepers raised me before my parents finally sent me to
boarding school where I met Chris. They didn't have time for me,
they still don't. The only reason I see them on Sundays is so that
I can spend some time with my ailing grandmother, otherwise I
wouldn't subject myself to the verbal abuse from my father every
week and the indifference from my mother."

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize." She's so soft
spoken and I instantly regret throwing all my bullshit at her. She
was in the middle of opening herself up to me. I could have spared
her the details about my parents.

"Don't be sorry, Cassie. I just need you to
know that sometimes having parents in your life doesn't make it any
better. It just means you're rejected every day in person, instead
of just by their absence."

I sit back down on the sofa so that I'm as
close to Cassie as physically possible without being on top of her.
"What happened after you stopped looking for Lucy?"

She shrugs her shoulders. "I realized I
needed to start thinking about my future. I didn't want to live on
the street for the rest of my life so I settled down in a town
called Bloomington. It's a couple hours south of Chicago. I worked
in the kitchen of a diner during the day and stayed at a few of the
local churches at night. When I turned eighteen I started a course
at the local community college to get my GED. It took a while but I
finally got it and then I started thinking about college.

"That's when I came up here to Chicago. There
were more opportunities for me here, but I soon realized that
physically attending college every day would be close to
impossible. I didn't have a car or money to afford public
transportation every day. For the first few months I just worked
odd jobs again and continued to stay in churches. Then I found
Matt's uncle’s church.

"At first it didn't feel any different than
any of the other churches I'd stayed in, but a week after staying
there I came in one evening and Matt was there. He caught me
breaking in. He was upset, but eventually let me stay the night.
The next night I snuck in and a blanket and pillow were laid out on
the first pew. I was instantly on guard–nervous that another person
was still in the church, but then I saw the post-it on the pillow.
It said 'Something to make your sleep a little more
comfortable'.

"Matt had caught me, but instead of kicking
me out he was inviting me stay at the church with that kind
gesture. It was the first time I felt like anyone had looked out
for me. A few weeks later Matt started visiting me in the
mornings.

"Matt isn’t a religious man but he adores his
uncle and helps him however he can. I got to know Matt and we
became friends. He's the one who set me up with courses through an
online college. I didn't have a computer so I'd walk to the nearby
library and use their computers and resources. I got to know the
librarians and they helped me however they could. I have less than
a year of schooling left and I'll have my bachelors. I still go to
the library, but Chris and Molly frequently let me borrow their
laptop."

I'm on information overload. I love learning
all these new things about her but I don't know what to take from
all of it. I had no idea her life was anything like this. She
always seems so happy when I see her, and working for Chris and
Molly must have given her an endless amount of resources. So why
does she still stay at the church?

"Why do you still stay in the church if you
have an apartment and a room at Chris's house?"

"I... um... actually, I don’t have an
apartment. I just tell Chris and Molly that so they allow me to
leave at night. I'm so grateful for them and for giving me a place
to stay, but sometimes comfort comes before a roof over my head and
I feel the most at home inside a church."

Huh. She feels the most at home in a place
that I've always felt like breaking out of. The minute I step
inside a church I feel uncomfortable in my own skin, like everyone
inside is looking at me and judging me. Like they can see right
through me to the greed, lust, and endless amount of women I've
fucked.

Cassie's determination to get an education is
inspiring, especially when it was so easy for me to receive a great
education.

Something's bugging me though. Chris pays her
well to be Alyssa's nanny. She doesn't have an apartment to pay for
or utilities, and she sure as hell isn't making payments on that
shitty car she used to drive, so where does all her money go? She’s
not like most of the women I date and spending her money on
designer fashion. I'd assume she was saving it if it wasn't for the
fact that when her car broke down she told me she was broke. So
what exactly does she do with her money?

"I'm sorry if this is crossing the line, but
Chris must pay you well, and you don't have an apartment to pay
for, so where does your money go?"

She stands up abruptly and looks around the
room, probably trying to escape my intrusive question. I shouldn't
have asked her that. It was too personal. I'm about to apologize
when she surprises me by answering my question honestly."

"I donate it. Some goes to the Catholic
Church, some goes to the soup kitchen, and the rest goes to
providing warm clothing to the homeless. I only keep enough money
to survive. Where's your bathroom?" she asks, bouncing up and down
like a child who waited too long and now can't hold it. It's
surprisingly adorable to watch, but I'm not oblivious to the fact
that she changed the subject, clearly uncomfortable talking about
how charitable she is.

I direct her to the washroom just outside my
bedroom. When she closes the door I enter my dark room, forgoing
turning the light on and just sit on my bed, absorbing all the
details of her life that Cassie has freely told me tonight.

I wasn't expecting anything that I heard. I
had no idea she was homeless, or that she donated almost all of her
money, or even that she put herself through school. She's so much
stronger than she gives herself credit for. She should be extremely
proud of making it through all that she's endured in life and
coming out on top. Her inner strength makes her that much more
sexy.

As I'm running through all the details in my
head there's another thing that’s bugging me. Her mother was a
druggie that was willing to give her up, but where is her father?
Does Cassie know? Has she ever tried to look for him? Isn’t there a
possibility that the man who shares her DNA has no idea he has a
little girl out there? Or maybe he was a fucked-up druggie just
like Cassie's mom and Cassie's better off not knowing who he
is.

I wonder if his name is on her birth
certificate? I could have one of my guys look into it and see what
he comes up with. Cassie wouldn't even have to know.

"Theo!" Cassie calls out from the hallway. I
stand up from the bed and walk over to the wall, flicking on the
bedroom light.

"I'm in here," I call back before sitting
back down on my king size bed, the grey comforter bunching
underneath my legs. She walks in and looks around the large room.
I'm slightly embarrassed that there aren't any personal touches to
the room or decorations. There are no photos on the neutral walls.
It's just a bed, a chaise and double nightstands on each side of
the bed. Oh, and let's not forget the mirror on the ceiling.

Don't judge me. I'm a man and I like sex. I'm
proud of that fact and the only thing better than fucking is being
able to watch yourself reflected back at you.

Cassie hesitates by the doorway before
walking inside and sitting down next to me on the bed. Her hands
are shaking and when I look up at her face I can see just how
uncomfortable she is being in my room.

"This is where I sleep. It's no wooden pew in
a church, but I think it's comfortable," I tease, attempting to
break the ice with some humor. She doesn't laugh but a hint of a
smile pulls up at the corner of her mouth.

"Have you ever slept on a pew? They can be
very comfortable," she responds back. The visible tension in her
body releases as I watch her shoulders fall.

Cassie's on my bed and it's the only thing I
can focus on.

When she agreed to come to my place to talk,
the last thing I expected was to have her on my bed. Sure, I've
imagined her on my bed a hundred different times, in a hundred
different ways, but she was always naked in those dreams. Now that
she's actually on my bed with me, completely clothed, I don't know
what to do.

This should come naturally to me. I've had a
different woman in here almost every night since I bought the place
six years ago, but with Cassie I feel like an inexperienced
teenager, unsure of my next move. If we were to actually have sex,
I'd probably come too soon, too. That's how wound up she gets
me.

"Do you want to go back in the living room?
We can put a movie on?" I have thousands of movies to choose from
on my digital library, even movies that are still in the
theater.

Instead of answering me, Cassie scoots closer
to me on the bed and places her hands on my chest. Her palms glide
up my body and wrap around my neck as she leans in, closing her
eyes as her lips brush against mine. Her forwardness stuns me
because I'm usually the one initiating any physical contact between
us.

I kiss her back–my lips massaging hers as my
hands reach out and grab her curvy waist. I slip my hands
underneath her t-shirt and massage the smooth skin of her hips. Her
lips continue moving against mine and the feeling is pure bliss.
With each kiss I let my mouth linger a little longer on hers, my
tongue licking her lips, silently begging for entrance.

I pull her on top of me until she's
straddling my hips on the bed. This is my favorite position to have
her in. She should always sit like this when we're together.

My cock hardens underneath her and when her
core makes contact with me she parts her lips, whimpering
erotically. I take full advantage and slip my tongue in her mouth.
Cassie bites down gently and I groan as her teeth skim across my
tongue.