Seductive Truths (Seductive Trilogy) (11 page)

    
‘
I do not wish to scare you, not anymore at least.
’

    
‘
Unfortunately I do not have the pleasure of granting that wish, because every time I hear your voice, get a whiff of that tobacco/whiskey mix that always seems to linger on you and seeing you staring at me with such intensity, like you are now, it scares me shitless.  I don’t know what to think, say, or do anymore!  But what scares me the most are the conflicting emotions you seem to flare up inside.  You…you are something different.  I can’t explain.  Zoe was right, you
are
dangerous.
’

     He frowns and a veil of sadness washes over him.  The blue of his eyes turns grey.  In the space of a second he goes from daunting beast to lost boy and my heartstrings are being tugged.  I want to reach out and cup his cheek, but the cold mask swiftly returns bringing back his black heart.

    
‘
She wasn’t exactly my type anyway.  She’s too weak, too…normal.
’

    
‘
Then why did you sleep with her?  Carry on seeing her?
’

    
‘
Well, after seeing you dressed in that little red number, swinging your hips to the thumping beat of the music, I needed an outlet for my frustration.  I’ve never been so hard in my life.  You were off limits, so I went to the next best thing.  Plus she turned out to be a valuable source of information.
’

    
‘
God you’re crass!  Womanising, crass bastard!  How could you do that to her?  How could you?  And use her in su
ch a way?  What do you mean by “
valuable source of information
”
?
’

    
‘
Ways and means, Alex.  Ways and means.
’

    
What is he going on about?  Think Alex, use your brain!  Why did he need Zoe to…oh, I see now
. 
‘
What better way to gain information than through my best friend who knows absolutely everything about me.  And here’s me beginning to think you actually had a heart.  It appears my first instinct was correct.
’

    
‘
I’m not the man you think I am…
’

    
‘
You got that right!  I have no idea who you are!  You come crashing into my life, expecting me to trust you and saying you know the truth about my brother’s death!  How do you even know Thomas?  Your paths would never have crossed.  You live different lives.  You’re all dark and mysterious and slink around dirty alleys, whereas Thomas was all smiles and laughter and was always out there in the open.  He had nothing to hide.  You on the other hand….I can’t bear thinking what you could be hiding.
’

    
‘
Your brother and I have a lot more in common than you think.
’

    
‘
And what’s that supposed to mean?  You are nothing alike!  The only similarity is that you both have, or in his case had, blue eyes.
’

    
‘
I know what type of man your bother is.
’
 

    
Is?
 

    
‘
I know what type of man your fiancé is and believe me,
they
have less in common with each other.  Your fiancé and I however are more alike than I care to have us be.
’

    
What nonsense is he speaking now?  I-I c-can’t think.  Now I’m stuttering in my thoughts, can’t be a good sign.

    
‘
Just stop, just stop!
’
I say, scrunching my eyes tight and bringing my bound hands to my forehead. 
‘
I can’t take much more of this!  Your words…they are niggling away at my brain, digging deeper and deeper until I lose all sense of control.  I can’t think.  I can’t
think
.  I…you…them…I just…
’
and the rest of the words escape me.

     Everything he says, everything he does, just confuses me further.  My mind is so jumbled with thoughts I do not know what to believe anymore.  What is wrong and what is right?  Who am I?  Who is this man?  Who was my brother?  Who is my fiancé?  Where do I belong?  God!  Will this nightmare never end?

     A metallic click then a sizzling sound and I smell the unmistakable putrid flavour that burns from his cigarette.  The odour grips me, drawing me in and I look up to see the embers glow around his soft lips.  It’s a beacon of light in this almost pitch black place.

     He’s gazing off into the distance affording me the opportunity to take in his profile.  I am unable to define him clearly with this dim lighting, but from what I can see he has a strong jaw line - firm and purposeful.  Looks I wouldn’t call handsome in the traditional sense, but he is handsome in his own rights, almost hauntingly so.  The mysterious quality adds to his dangerousness, but the vulnerability I detect underneath lends him a softer radiance.  This man is an enigma.

     His eyes unexpectedly turn back to mine, frown in place.

    
‘
What?
’
he asks after a pause.

     Shaking my head out of my transfixed state I reply. 
‘
Sorry?
’

    
‘
You were staring at me.
’

    
‘
Was I?
’

    
‘
Yes.  Why?
’

    
‘
I don’t know.
’

    
‘
Well you must have had a reason.
’

     He brings the burning cigarette up to his lips and inhales.

     My eyes can’t help wandering to his fingers.  The way they hold the vile object so delicately and meaningfully while simultaneously letting in dangle without a care in the world.  A cigarette was made to fit those fingers.

    
‘
There you go again.
’

    
‘
What?
’

    
‘
With the staring.  What are you staring at?
’

    
‘
Your fingers,
’
I say dreamily, not once taking my eyes away.

    
‘
My fingers?  Why?
’

    
‘
They’re quite slender for a man, but still masculine.  They look like expert fingers.
’
 
I wonder how expertly they could navigate themselves around my body….whoa!  Where did that come from?

     My eyes jerk up to his at the thought, pupils no doubt filling with desire.  His darken in return and I see the flame of passion dancing inside.

    
‘
What are you doing to me Mark?
’
comes out as a breathy whisper.

    
‘
What did you say?
’
he snaps and the atmosphere drops.

     Anger replaces desire and his lips are hard and pinched.  His face is no longer soft in contemplation but stern in rage.  This rapid change frightens me and I’m clueless how I caused it.

    
‘
I-I said, wh-what are you d-doing t-to me?
’

    
‘
You said a name.
’

    
‘
Ma-Mark?
’

    
‘
Don’t
ever
say that name again.
’
  His face draws near as he towers over me, intimidating me.

     I gulp.

     Heart races.

     Eyes flicker.

    
‘
Wh-why?
’

    
‘
Just don’t.
’

    
‘
But Mark…
’

    
‘
Don’t call me that,
’
he grinds through his teeth.

    
‘
But it’s y-your name.
’

    
What is happening?  Why has he turned on me like this?  What have I done wrong?

    
‘
It’s not, so don’t ever call me that again.  I do not want
that word
to pass from your lips
ever again
.  Do you understand me?
’

    
‘
No, no I don’t.  It’s your name.  Zoe said that was your name.  You are him, the guy in the flat.  You are Mark!
’

    
‘
I am not him, never was and never will be!  I will
never
be him!
’

    
‘
So who does that name belong to?
’

    
‘
It was my brother’s, okay!
’

    
‘
Your… What?
’

    
‘
My brother,
’
he sighs, closing his eyes and looking away.  Cigarette still caught between his fingers.

    
I do not get this man one bit
.

    
‘
I don’t understand.
’

    
‘
I don’t expect you to.  How could you.
’
  He draws a hand over his forehead, hooding his eyes. 
‘
My life is complex.  I wish I never got you involved.
’
  The last is barely audible.

    
‘
Then why did you?
’

    
‘
I had no choice.  My conscience couldn’t leave it be.  It wasn’t right.
’

    
‘
Your conscience?
’

    
‘
I’m a burdened man, Alex.  I’m covered in scars from my past.  I have no life, not really.  Not one worth living at any rate.
’

     I don’t know what it is but something about the last comment strikes me deep.  I can feel his pain, his suffering.  Before my eyes stands a defeated man.  He has so many layers but one by one they are peeling away. 
How many will I have to tear off before reaching the centre of this man?

    
‘
I’m trapped in a cycle,
’
he continues. 
‘
Events happen in a sequence and when I reach the end it starts all over again.  A few times I’ve tried to get out, but I’m always sucked back in.  It’s like the plague.  Once you’ve been infected it eats away at you bit by bit until there’s nothing left.
’
  He turns to lock eyes with mine. 
‘
I don’t want you to have the same fate.
’

    
‘
Then let me go,
’
I whimper, holding out my bound hands.

    
‘
I can’t, I’m sorry.
’

    
‘
Why?
’

    
‘
Because…
’
  Nothing else is forthcoming and he begins pacing, erratically taking deep lungful intakes of nicotine.  His body is rigid, he’s losing the hold of his emotions and he’s afraid.  I see it in the way he moves.

     I need to get the hell out of here, back to my life.

    
‘
‘
‘Because
”
?  Is that it?  What kind of explanation is that?
’

    
‘
What do you want me to say?
’

    
‘
The truth will be a good start!
’

    
‘
I don’t have to explain myself to you!  You’re nothing to me!
’

    
‘
If I mean nothing to you then why the bloody hell have you kidnapped me?  What am I doing here?  Just let me go!
’
  I wave my joined hands in the air. 
‘
Just let me go,
’
I say quietly, the venom losing its lustre as my fight drips away. 
‘
Please, let me go.
’