Seeing Your Face Again (25 page)

“Oh, I'm so sorry to hear this.” Debbie touched Ida's hand. “This must be an awful shock to your family.”

Ida winced. “That's not the worst, Debbie.
Daett
says that with Lois raising such a stink and because she's living with your parents, you have to move out. When the people of the community are told what's been happening, that will be the last straw for you.
Daett
needs to be the one who makes the first move. It will look better for him.”

“So I'm to blame for Lois's behavior?” Debbie heard the bitterness in her voice.

“I know you're not to blame,” Ida said. “But this is how things are. That's the way it goes in the community sometimes.”

“And I suppose the only way I can stay is by accepting Paul Wagler's advances?” Debbie's anger was obvious. She wished it wasn't there, but this day had been tough and long. And she wasn't a saint.

“I don't know about that now.” Ida's looked very serious. “I've been thinking about things a lot since Lois was here.”

“And?” Debbie cut in, not waiting for Ida to finish.

Ida took her time before she continued. “
Daett
has given up
hope on you and Paul. We're sure Minister Kanagy will blame you and your parents for leading Lois astray. He's also going to suggest you had something to do with Alvin's sudden departure. At the least, that you put the thought in his mind through your
Englisha
background and influence.”

Debbie stood and paced the floor. She wasn't going to leave without a struggle, she told herself. But what could she do? She was clearly out of ideas, and she didn't think like these Amish people—as much as she admired them. Debbie stopped and faced Ida. “Help me out here. What can I do that would persuade your
daett
and the community that I'm serious about staying here? That I mean no harm and want to embrace living in the community.”

“Date Paul? I'm not sure that would work at this point, but it would be the place to start.”

Debbie didn't hesitate. “I can't do that. I'm not interested, and I don't love him.”

Ida's brow furrowed, but moments later her face lit up. “I know what you can do. You could live like we do—completely. Like get rid of your car tonight yet, quit your job, and embrace all our traditions and the
Ordnung.
You could apply to join the baptismal class this spring.”

“Wow!” Debbie turned to gaze out the window. “That's radical.”

Ida rose. “It would counteract the shockwave Lois set off today. I think the plan would work. And I could speak to Melvin on Sunday evening about you. He has more influence with his brother than people know. After Melvin's talk with him, Minister Kanagy might give you more time.”

Debbie took a deep breath. “Then we'd best tell your
daett
the new plan.”

Ida hesitated. “Don't you need more time to think about it?”

Debbie shook her head. “Why would I? I'm committed to this way of life, Ida. I want to be part of the community all the way.
I need to move forward, especially after today…” Debbie let the words drift into the air.

Ida eyes grew wide. “What about your car, Debbie? Will you bury it in a field?”

Debbie laughed. “Ida, people don't bury cars! They give them away or sell them.”

“There's no time to sell it. For this to work the car has to be gone by tomorrow.” Ida waved her hand in the air like Cinderella's fairy godmother.

A hint of a smile played on Debbie's face.

Ida regarded her strangely. “Have I said something funny?”

“No, I was just thinking about something else.” Debbie wiped the last bit of smile off her face. “So let's see. The car. I could give it to my parents. What kind of vehicle was Lois driving today?”

“I don't remember,” Ida said. “I was too busy looking at Lois. You should have seen her, Debbie! She had more than half of her legs out for the world to see. I blushed myself at the sight.”

“I can imagine.” Debbie stifled another smile. Why did she see so much humor in this tragic situation? Likely it was from the stress of the day and the shock of seeing Alvin with that woman. Instant soberness filled her heart as she remembered the image. “We should go tell your father now,” Debbie said. She moved toward the doorway. She wanted this over with to quiet the fear that was rising in her heart. There was no guarantee Bishop Beiler would approve this plan. If he didn't, she would have to leave soon. That would break her heart in ways even Alvin couldn't do.

Ida led the way down the stairs without another word.

The bishop was seated in his rocker reading the latest copy of
The Budget
. He lowered his paper when they appeared. “Hello, Debbie. It's
gut
to see you back.”

His words seem genuine enough, Debbie thought. Perhaps selling Ida's proposal wouldn't be too difficult after all.

“I'll get
Mamm
,” Ida said.

“Please sit, Debbie.” The bishop motioned toward the couch.

Debbie sat down and folded her hands in her lap. The sudden image of herself in her
Englisha
dress as she drove to Philadelphia flashed in her mind. Intense guilt followed. She'd indeed pushed the line, and she was tired of life like this. In a way it would be a relief to make the final plunge—if it wasn't already too late.

“
Mamm
said you were in Philadelphia today.” Bishop Beiler laid his paper on the floor beside him. Clearly he planned to have a lengthy conversation with her, and from the sober look on his face, it was the same one Ida had given her earlier.

“Did Saloma tell you before I left?” Debbie asked.

He shook his head.

Ida rushed back from the kitchen with Saloma in tow. The two sat on the couch.

Ida wasted no time. “
Daett
, I already told Debbie about what you said, and we've come up with a plan. Debbie wants to tell you about it.”

Bishop Beiler raised his eyebrows. “A plan? And what would that be?” He sounded skeptical.

“Tell him.” Ida looked at Debbie.

“Not so fast,” Bishop Beiler interrupted. “I'd like to hear what Debbie thinks about the problem we have.”

Debbie took a deep breath. “I think you're perfectly justified in asking me to leave. In fact, I'm ashamed of myself that I've not thought more about how things appeared to the community. So the plan is—if you'll allow me—I'm going to get rid of my car—maybe even tonight. Next week I'll hitch a ride to my job until I can give Mr. Fulton my two week's notice. I'm ready to make the final plunge and join the church—and put in my application for the spring baptismal class.”

“I see.” Bishop Beiler seemed a little stunned. “This is rather quick.”

Saloma stood and walked over to give Debbie a hug. “That's the most
wunderbah
news I've heard all day. Surely,
Daett
, that will satisfy those of the people who still have questions about Debbie's character.”

“And what about Paul Wagler?” Bishop Beiler regarded Debbie with intensity. For a moment, Debbie wavered. The temptation from the other Sunday evening at the hymn singing returned. It would be so easy to promise to see Paul. No one would know that she wasn't serious. That way she might weather the storm until things had calmed down. But she couldn't do it. That was how she used to live in her world. In the community she was determined not to live like that. Not even if it cost her Bishop Beiler's approval. If he asked her to leave, then that was how things would be.

“I don't love him, and I'm not interested in him. I can't see the man—not in that way,” Debbie whispered.

“That's what I thought.” Bishop Beiler settled into his rocker. “Well, we'll have to think about this. I will speak with the ministers tomorrow, but in the meantime don't do anything about your car, Debbie. I wouldn't want you to get rid of it and still have to leave. That wouldn't be right.”

“You can't decide now?” Ida's voice trembled. “Debbie has to stay,
Daett
. She's one of us.”

“I agree.” Bishop Beiler nodded. “I feel so too. But it's not all up to me, you know.”

“It's okay,” Debbie said to Ida. Peace ran through her heart, which surprised her. Bishop Beiler's kind face had helped. He looked like his reasonable self again, so surely something could be worked out. The community was full of decent people, and they would judge her correctly. She wouldn't begin to doubt that now.

Twenty-Four

T
he following Monday evening Debbie knocked on the door of her parents' home. Her car was parked in the driveway in its usual spot, only this time the vehicle would stay there when she left. Now that the moment had arrived to permanently leave this part of her life behind, it was even easier than she'd imagined. Her dream to join the Amish community was, after all, what she'd wanted for years. Her only sorrow was for Alvin and what had happened yesterday—the horrible excommunication. But she wouldn't think about that now. Rather, she'd dwell on the thankfulness that bubbled up when she thought of how hard Bishop Beiler must have worked so she could continue to stay in his home. Minister Kanagy had grudgingly given his consent yesterday to the plan, but at least he'd given it. Debbie was determined to not disappoint the bishop anymore.

She knocked again and peered through the glass in the door. She couldn't see anyone, and yet her mother's car was parked in the garage. Debbie tried the doorknob and went in when it turned.

“Mother?” Debbie called out as she paused in the foyer.

“Hello!” her mother's voice answered from the back of the house. The sound of footsteps soon followed, increasing in intensity.

“Am I interrupting something?” Debbie asked when Lois and her mother appeared.

“Oh, no!” Callie was all smiles. “I heard you drive in, but we were trying on Lois's new dress. We're going out for the evening, Debbie. Doesn't she look splendid?”

Debbie gave Lois a quick look. “She does, mother. You always know how to do such things.”

“Thank you.” A look of regret flashed across her mother's face. “But you never wanted any of it. But now…” Her mother paused as she turned to give Lois a glowing look. “Isn't she just something, Debbie? All that beauty buried under those awful clothes. I say it's a crime hiding away what the good Lord gave the girl.”

“Mom!” Debbie exclaimed. “It's not exactly like that. We believe a woman's beauty is for her husband's benefit, not for everyone's.”

Callie waved her hand dismissively. “I disagree. This is what a woman should look like.” She continued to beam at Lois, who had begun to turn a little red. Lois wasn't used to all this attention, even though she enjoyed it to the fullest most of the time.

“Well, don't come over to the house looking like that.” Debbie addressed Lois directly.

“So now you're one of them,” Lois snapped. “I used to think you were my friend.”

“I'm sorry,” Debbie said at once. “That may not have come out right. Your appearance on Saturday hurt your family a lot. Can't you be a little more understanding about how they feel?”

Lois didn't look happy. “I can't come over anyway for a while.
Daett
forbade it.”

“Isn't that just the most intolerable thing you ever heard?” Callie spoke up. “How can you be a part of that, Debbie?”

Debbie sighed. “Look, Mom, that's what I want. And it's not how you think it is.”

Callie gave her a quick glance. “I see you're looking and talking more like one of them all the time.”

“I guess I am,” Debbie allowed. She thought about what she'd said earlier. She had included herself when she defended the Beilers. Maybe she had made more progress than she imagined. No wonder Bishop Beiler went to such efforts to help her.

“So why are you here, Debbie?” Callie asked. “Is this an official visit or just a friendly chat?”