Seeing Your Face Again (24 page)

“There you go!” Lois wailed. “You're comparing me with Debbie. Don't you understand,
Daett
? I'm not Debbie. I'm my own person.”

“Then you should try to be more like her.”
Daett
's voice had
softened. “This conversation has gone on long enough. We've tried and tried to talk sense into your head over the years, Lois. I'm sorry for where I've failed you, but you can't come home and be in the community looking like this. I'm ashamed to have to even speak of this with anyone, and yet I must because we do not hide our faults and our trials from one another. You know that. You grew up in the community. Or have you already forgotten even that?”

Lois didn't answer. She stumbled down the porch steps toward her car. Ida went with her, steadying her until they reached the car. Lois climbed in, and Ida waited until she'd closed the car door before she stepped back. Lois started the car and turned it around. She didn't even wave as she drove down the driveway.

Ida couldn't help but think that Lois should have known better. She just refused to learn that her actions had consequences.

Ida turned back to see
Daett
sitting on the top porch step. He held his head in his hands. He sighed. “I've failed, Ida. Miserably failed. I'm supposed to be the bishop of the flock, and my own daughter doesn't know better than to act like she just did. I can't believe how she was dressed.”

“You did the best you knew raising her.” Ida sat down beside him. The front door opened behind them. They turned slightly and watched
Mamm
come out. No one said anything as she joined them on the steps. They stared down the road together.

Ida broke the silence. “I don't know why Lois never had much sense in her head.”

“She's not like we are. We mustn't blame her too much,”
Mamm
said.

“I will not have this.”
Daett
rose to his feet. “It's also obvious that we can't allow Debbie to have a car here any longer.”

“But
Daett!
” Ida leaped to her feet. “That's not fair! Just because of Lois?”

“It might not be fair, Ida, but neither is life. We must look at this sensibly. When the ministers hear Lois arrived at our house in that outfit and driving a car, they're going to make a connection between
Lois's behavior and having an
Englisha
living here. Debbie's going to have to go, I'm afraid.”

“But she's close to accepting Paul's offer.” Ida clutched her
daett
's arm. “Once she gets Alvin out of her thoughts.”

Daett
smiled slightly. “Really, Ida? I'm afraid you have your hopes much too high. I don't think Debbie will allow Paul to bring her home anytime, let alone soon. She's got her heart set on Alvin, and Alvin's not coming back.”

“You're just bitter,” Ida said. “Please don't say such things,
Daett
.”

“They're true.”
Mamm
said as she stood up too. “This is a wake-up call for all of us, Ida. We'd better pay attention.”

“So you're going to throw Debbie out?” Ida let the horror sound in her voice. She frowned. “Just like that you're going to sweep her away—and just because Lois shows up on our doorstep dressed indecently.”

Daett
sighed. “It's more than that, Ida. It's time we moved on. Lois is gone, living with Debbie's folks. And they're obviously having a bad influence on her.”

“And we can't go on like we are,”
Mamm
added.

“Then let me speak with Debbie.” Ida knew she sounded desperate, but this had happened so suddenly. “It will be such a disappointment to her.”

“Perhaps we should take this slowly.”
Mamm
glanced over at
Daett
.

He frowned. “We don't have much time. Minister Kanagy will have enough to say about what happened here today, to say nothing of your own interests with Melvin, Ida.”

“Melvin's fine.” Ida didn't hesitate. “He understands about Debbie.”

Daett
shook his head. “Then it comes down to me, Ida. I'm no longer comfortable with how things are going around here. We'll tell Debbie tonight that things have to change. I don't want to chase her out, but I don't know what else to do.”
Daett
looked at
Mamm.
“By the way, where is Debbie?”

Ida gave
Mamm
a quick glance.

Having seen the look,
Daett
repeated, “Where is she?” Alarm rang in his voice.

“Debbie went to pay Alvin a visit in Philadelphia,” Ida said.

“With his excommunication scheduled for tomorrow?”
Daett
paled. “What was the girl thinking?”

Mamm
reached for his arm. “Debbie kept me informed. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I didn't see anything wrong with the visit. I was going to tell you. Debbie's trying to persuade Alvin to return to the community.”

Daett
appeared thunderstruck.

“Verna advised the trip,” Ida said.

“Now I've heard everything! A woman going to instruct a man on his shortcomings! How do you expect that to work?”

“No one else seemed to have much success,” Ida offered. She saw by the look on
Daett
's face that she should have kept silent.

“Are we
Englisha
now?”
Daett
exploded. “That we use whatever means lies at hand to accomplish a task. This is as bad as Lois showing up dressed…dressed like she was. I can't believe you didn't see the error in this, Saloma!”

Mamm
hung her head. “I'm sorry, Adam. It seemed like the right thing at the time.”

“We've fallen far indeed.”
Daett
stared off into the distance. “Minister Kanagy was right after all. I've been slipping in my leadership at home and didn't even know it. I see I will need to make my own confession tomorrow at the service before I can deal with anyone else. As the Scriptures say, “Cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother's eye.”
Daett
turned and walked slowly toward the barn. He didn't look back.

“What does he mean?” Ida asked as
Daett
disappeared into the barn.

Mamm
sat on the porch step and wept.

Ida sat beside her and waited

“I don't know what all he means, Ida,”
Mamm
said. “But a bishop doesn't lose his daughter to the world without the people of the community becoming concerned about his leadership. Lois is now past the grace period in which we hoped she'd come back. And no daughter comes home looking like she did unless she's got her mind made up about how and where she wants to live. We've been deceiving ourselves thinking Lois doesn't know what she's doing. Lois knows exactly what she's doing.”

“So why does Debbie have to go?” Ida's voice trembled.

“Something has to change.”
Mamm
got to her feet. “I support
Daett
totally, Ida. I want you to know that. So don't go getting any ideas. Now, let's get busy with our work before the evening gets here and we aren't done.”

Mamm
disappeared into the house, but Ida stayed seated on the step. She would go help
Mamm
soon. Right now she was too weak to trust her own feet. How
Mamm
could turn on Debbie like this was beyond her—to say nothing of
Daett
. Still, the shock of having Lois come like she did wasn't a light matter. That's why her parents were taking this so hard. Lois had moved into the world, and there was nothing any of them could do about it.

And poor Debbie was caught in the middle. Ida breathed a quick prayer. “Please,
Da Hah
, let Debbie see the wisdom of accepting Paul's offer.” But her heart sank even as the words came out. Debbie would never allow Paul to bring her home from the hymn singing. Ida decided that she too needed to be honest about the facts and quit her daydreams. With a sigh, she got up and went inside.

Twenty-Three

L
ate that evening, after darkness had fallen, Debbie parked her car in its usual place under the overhang next to the barn. She'd taken her time coming home. Her tears hadn't stopped for a long time. If she showed up at the Beilers' home with tear-stained cheeks, that wouldn't help anyone, herself included. It would accent the failure of her mission and make the situation worse—if that were possible. Alvin would be excommunicated tomorrow. She decided the news of how he was cavorting with an
Englisha
woman was something no one needed to know—at least from her lips.

Debbie choked back another sob. She wouldn't break down again if she could help it. Enough tears had been shed already. How she could have been so wrong about Alvin she couldn't imagine, but her eyes hadn't lied to her. Alvin was thoroughly enjoying that woman's company, and it was clearly more than a casual friendship. Debbie wasn't stupid enough to think otherwise.

And the woman had been beautiful, so who could blame Alvin? Yet Debbie so desperately wanted to find an excuse for him. That impulse surprised her more than anything. Her heart ached, but it also wanted to understand. Maybe there was a reason for what Alvin had done. Maybe she should have approached Alvin and asked. Instead, she'd fled. If she hadn't, she would only have embarrassed him, to say nothing of how she would have felt. There was no way she would throw herself at a man. If Alvin wanted a relationship with another woman, who was she to stand in his way? From now on she would stay in the community and mind her own business.

Debbie got out of the car and walked toward the house. As she turned the corner, Emery stuck his head out of the barn doorway. Debbie pasted on a quick smile. “Howdy. How are you doing?”

“Okay,” he smiled back. “Where have you been all day?”

“I'm surprised you missed me,” Debbie said, but she didn't slow down.

He grunted something she couldn't hear and retreated back into the barn. She wouldn't be offering information on her day's outing. Her lips were sealed; her heart was broken. She didn't want to think about it anymore lest the tears start again.

Ida met Debbie at the front door with a worried look on her face. “How did it go?”

“It didn't.” Debbie kept a stiff upper lip.

“Oh, you poor dear,” Ida consoled. “Was he hardheaded?”

Debbie didn't reply. She wouldn't lie; she just wouldn't offer all the information. Ida didn't seem bothered by her silence, but she fidgeted with her hands and looked like she had something on her mind. “Ida?” Debbie reached out to touch her friend's arm. “What's wrong?”

“We'd better go up to my room,” Ida said. “I have something I must tell you.”

Debbie followed Ida through the house, glancing into the kitchen as they went past. Saloma was busy at the stove, but she looked up with a pained expression on her face.
Was this about the trip to Philadelphia?
Debbie wondered. Surely she hadn't done anything that wrong when she went to see Alvin. Ida and Saloma had seemed supportive before she left. Sure, Debbie hadn't talked to Bishop Beiler,
but she supposed Saloma would pass on the information. Once he was told, had he disapproved of the trip?

Ida didn't offer any information on the way upstairs, and Debbie didn't ask. She followed Ida into her room and sat on the bed. Ida took the chair and faced Debbie as she sat down.

“I'm sorry to have to tell you, but something terrible happened while you were gone,” Ida said.

Debbie's heart sank even lower. “The bishop is angry because I interfered with Alvin?”

Ida nodded. “Yes, but it's more than that. Lois stopped by today driving a car and dressed in clothes that were quite indecent.
Daett
ordered her off the place. Lois isn't to come back until she shows more respect by coming without a car and dressing more appropriately.”