Seek Me With All Your Heart (18 page)

“No.”

“But—”

Martha held up a crooked finger. “You can clean Elvis’s cage next time, since you’re itching to do more.”

Emily giggled, and David glared at her for a moment, but it was impossible not to grin along with her.

“You got a problem with cleaning my Elvis’s cage, David?” Martha walked to the bird and reached her hand in the cage. “Did you hear that, Elvis? Our David doesn’t want to clean your cage. Precious boy.”

“No. It’s fine.” At least he wouldn’t feel as guilty about the money. Martha was paying them to be her part-time family, and that just wasn’t right. It was bothering him more and more. He finished his pie, then said, “Emily, we best be getting on the road.”

Emily stood up and reached for al of their empty plates. “
Ya
. You’re right.”

A few minutes later they said their good-byes. There was never any hugging or anything like that, and David was glad— ’course, he wouldn’t have minded hugging Emily.

As tired as he was, he wasn’t ready to say good night to Emily. “Do you want to go get a cup of
kaffi
somewhere?”

Her luminous eyes widened. “Where would we go this time of night?”

He’d been worried she wouldn’t want to go, but he was at least prepared this time if she said yes. “That smal diner on the way to Monte Vista. It’s only about four miles.”

“I don’t know, David
.
.
.” As she tapped her finger to her chin, he waited, hoping. “Maybe just a quick cup. Is there something you want to talk about?

Martha or our arrangement?”

That wasn’t it, but if that would get him some extra time alone with her, he figured he better agree. “
Ya
. I’m feeling badly about her paying us to be her family.”

Even in the darkness, he could see her serious expression. “Me too. And that is just what she’s doing.” She turned slightly in her seat. “But I think it would sadden Martha to no end if we didn’t come see her twice a week. Maybe we should just refuse the money.”

David thought about the money he’d been tucking away to get back to Lancaster County. “Maybe. But I don’t think she’d hear of that.”

They rode quietly the rest of the way, with the clippety-clop of hooves, chattering teeth, and a ful moon overhead.

The diner was empty, except for an elderly couple eating pie in a corner booth and a young mother with her baby seated near the entrance. The waitress led them to a booth opposite the older couple.

David watched Emily sip her coffee and thought about how far they’d come. “Do you stil miss Ohio, or do you feel better about being here in Canaan?”

“I stil miss it.” She ran her finger around the rim of her cup as she spoke. “But I guess it’s getting better.” Then she looked up at him and smiled in a way that plagued his heart with regret.
I wish I could take care of you forever
. “
Ach
, I was thinking . ..” She paused, grinning. “When the weather clears, maybe you could til a garden for Martha, and I’l plant vegetables for her, maybe get her involved and show her how
wunderbaar
it feels to tend the land.”

“
Ya
, that’s a
gut
idea. I’l have to ready the fields with
mei daed
, but I’m sure I can find time to til Martha a smal garden.”

“I plan to have a garden at home, and I have the dry goods store to tend, but I think it’s important that we help Martha have her own too.”

Emily’s face glowed as she detailed how big she would like the garden to be, how she wondered if she could grow watermelons like she did back home, and how maybe they could even build a picket fence around Martha’s garden. It was almost as if—as if they were talking about their own home.

David thought about how they’d cooked together, played games together, taken care of Martha and her house together—al the time they’d spent together.

“And I’m going to get that living room of hers painted, one of these days.” David took a sip of his coffee and wondered briefly if the caffeine would keep him up tonight.

“With hard work, that house of hers could be so pretty, especial y the outside. She has a big yard with flowerbeds that just haven’t been tended to. You’l see when the snow clears what I’m talking about.”

“We’l help her get it in shape.”

They were quiet for a few minutes, and David wondered how much of al this he could actual y do. His plans didn’t include staying in Canaan.

For the first time since he’d arrived in Colorado, he wondered if maybe he could make a life here. But no sooner did he have the thought, than he was reminded that he wouldn’t be good for Emily. She deserved someone who would be around for a long time, someone to raise a family with.

When the waitress returned, they opted for two pieces of apple pie.

Eket, and the window protectors, she couldn’t stop shaking. She rubbed her gloved hands together beneath the heavy blanket.MILY WAS CERTAIN that she’d never been as cold as she was on this night. They’d barely gotten back on the main road, and her cheeks were numb. Even with the portable heater, the blan

“Emily
.
.
.” David said in a shaky voice. “If you wil scoot over here next to me and wrap that blanket around the both of us, we wil be a little warmer.

Maybe even hold that heater in front of us.” She could hear David’s teeth chattering. “Please,” he added.

Emily slowly moved toward him. She draped the blanket around both their shoulders. David pul ed his arm free of the blanket and draped it across her shoulders, then pul ed her close. He rubbed her arm, and she could feel him shivering.

“Put your arm back under the blanket so you’l stay warm.”

“It’s okay. I’m just worried about you. I can’t believe we stayed as long as we did, and the temperatures sure have dropped.”

Emily snuggled close to him, welcoming the warmth. “I’m okay, David.” She tipped her head up, but the motion put her face entirely too close to his, so she quickly turned it away.

She tried not to focus on David’s tender touch as he rubbed her arm atop the blanket. She felt comforted, yet leery at the same time. He was so sweet, so safe. And that frightened her. Was she fal ing for him? What a disaster that would be. But for now, she was so cold, and he felt so good next to her.

“It’s starting to snow.” Emily leaned forward and gazed into the night as white flecks of powder pelted the windshield of the buggy. “
Mamm
is going to be frantic.”

“I’l talk to her when we get there and tel her this is my fault.”

“No, no. You don’t have to do that.” Emily felt him pul her closer, and she felt warm inside, if not on the outside. “It’s not your fault, any more so than mine.”

She slowly rested her head against the crook of his arm and al her worries of the past began to fade . . . only to have new ones come into view.

DAVID COULDN’T DENY how good it felt to have Emily snuggle up next to him. He was glad that she now felt comfortable around him. They’d formed a bond over the past few weeks, and it was a welcome change from the frightened woman he’d first met. But he could tel by his growing feelings that he would need to put some distance between them. Emily had been hurt enough. Fal ing for her would only hurt them both in the long run.

“David?”

Her head shifted from against his chest, putting her face almost close enough that he could have easily leaned down and kissed her, and the sweet sound of her voice only made him want to do so even more. He took a deep breath. “
Ya?
”

“I’m glad
.
..” She paused, and even in the moonlight he could see a twinkle in her big brown eyes. “I’m glad we’re friends.”

She smiled up at him, then lowered her face and once again nuzzled against him. He pul ed her closer, knowing he shouldn’t, but as the warmth of her body comforted his, something about Emily Detweiler warmed his soul as wel . She made him want to be a whole man, someone with a long life ahead of him.

VERA WHIPPED THE buggy into the Stoltzfuses’ driveway, against Elam’s wishes. “Vera, I’m sure everything is fine,” he’d said earlier. “And it’s too cold for you to be traveling.”

But she’d already cal ed Martha from the phone in the barn. David and Emily had left over two hours ago, Martha had said, and Vera’s heart had begun to race. The last time Emily had been late coming home, it was dark outside, as it was now, and the unthinkable had happened. She tried to ignore her upset stomach as she tethered the horse and marched across the snow to the porch steps. She grabbed the wobbly railing and careful y pul ed herself up to the front door.

Even though David seemed like a nice young man, Vera couldn’t shake her worry. They could have been in an accident.

She rapped hard on the wooden door, and as she stood in the cold, she noticed light coming from a window to her left. Only a few moments later, she heard footsteps.

“Vera!” Lil ian swung the door wide. “Come in, come in. What are you doing out here in this weather?”

“I’m wondering why Emily isn’t home yet. David never brings her home from Martha’s this late, and I’m worried, and . . .” She shook her head as a knot formed in her throat.

“I’m sure Emily is fine. She’s with David. He won’t let anything happen to her.” Lil ian smiled, but Vera didn’t reciprocate.

Vera glanced around the room and nodded at Samuel. “David should know not to have her out this late.” She tilted her chin up and continued to fight the lump in her throat.

Samuel stood up, and while his eyes were sharp and assessing, Vera just wanted her daughter home. “Vera, I’m sure that the
kinner
are fine. If there had been an accident, I reckon we would have heard. They’re young. Maybe they went for
kaffi
.” He reached his hand out to her. “Can I take your coat?”

Vera knew she was dripping snow on the floor, but she held her position. “Emily knows how I feel about her being late, and David should—” She stopped herself and took a deep breath when she saw a distinct hardening of Samuel’s eyes.

“Vera, let me get you something hot to drink.” Lil ian stepped closer. “Goodness, your teeth are chattering.” She pul ed Vera toward the fire. “Here, warm yourself. Not much in this old house works, but the fireplace is huge, and we’ve been enjoying a nice fire this evening.”

Vera moved toward the fire with Lil ian, pul ed her gloves off, and warmed her hands above the flames. “I’m sorry. I just worry. I shouldn’t have come.”

Lil ian smiled. “You’re welcome here any time. And I real y am sure that everything is fine. Those two spend a lot of time together. Maybe more than a friendship is forming, no?”

Images of that night over three months ago raced through Vera’s mind. She put her face in her hands. How wel did she real y know these people?

Worry began to overtake her. “Maybe I should go look for them.”

Samuel stepped forward. “Vera, I don’t think that’s a
gut
idea. I’m sure they’re fine.”

She turned around to face Samuel. “You don’t know that. I don’t even know David, and
.
.
.”

Samuel frowned and opened his mouth to speak, but Lil ian spoke up.

“Vera, honey. I was just getting ready to go check on Elizabeth and Anna. Why don’t you take off your coat and bonnet and come with me?” Lil ian gently touched Vera’s arm. “Please. We can talk upstairs.”

Vera drew in a deep breath and blew it out slowly. Then she unbuttoned her coat and removed it along with her bonnet. Lil ian draped the garments on the back of the couch. “I real y should be going home, since I reckon David wil drop Emily off before coming here. I don’t know why I came. I just
.
.
.”

A tear rol ed down Vera’s cheek, and she quickly wiped it away. Her emotions about what had happened to Emily were catching up to her, and it was embarrassing. She saw Lil ian and Samuel exchange looks before Lil ian coaxed Vera toward the stairs.

Vera watched as Lil ian checked on both her girls, then motioned for Vera to fol ow her down the hal . They walked into what Vera presumed was Lil ian and Samuel’s bedroom. A large bed was on the far wal , a dresser in the corner, and boxes were stacked everywhere. Light brown paint was peeling from the wal s. It was a mess, and Vera silently reprimanded herself for not making more time to come help Lil ian work on this house.

“Please don’t judge us by this house,” Lil ian said as her eyes scanned the room. “Someday it wil be beautiful.” She chuckled. “I hope.”

“I would never judge, Lil ian.”

Lil ian sat down on the bed and patted the spot next to her. Vera took a seat beside her.

“Now, what’s going on?” Lil ian leaned her head to one side. “It’s not that late, Vera, and you know David is a
gut
young man. He’l get Emily home safely.”

Vera pushed back several strands of dark hair that had fal en forward. She sat tal er. “I know.” She paused. “I shouldn’t have come. It’s just that I get so scared, and I don’t think Elam understands.” She turned to Lil ian and grabbed her hand. “It’s a sin to worry, Lil ian. I know this, and yet I’m consumed with worry when it comes to Emily. I try not to show it in front of her. But sometimes it just overtakes me, and her being late tonight just seems to have pushed my emotions right over the top. I’m so sorry for my rude behavior. Please apologize to Samuel for me.” She let go of Lil ian’s hand and stood up, ready to leave, but Lil ian grabbed her by the elbow and pul ed her back down.

“
Ach
, no ya don’t.” Lil ian raised her brows. “Our kids being home a little late is not what this is al about. Not completely anyway. What’s going on, Vera? Let me be a
gut
friend to you. You’re the only friend I have here. Let me help.”

Vera sniffled a bit. “No, real y. I’m sure everything is fine.” She shrugged nonchalantly. “I’m sure there is no problem.” She spoke the words with conviction, but a tear stil rol ed down her cheek. It was as if every emotion she’d felt since Emily’s attack was surfacing, and now she wasn’t sure how to keep from tel ing Lil ian what ailed her so. If she were honest with herself, she’d realize she needed a friend, another female to talk to about what happened to Emily. She’d never spoken of the incident to family or friends in Middlefield, and she and Elam had offered a partial version of the truth about their relocation to Canaan—cheaper land prices, more room to expand for future generations, and a better environment for Levi’s asthma. And even though she and Elam had discussed what happened to Emily over the past few months, she’d never real y al owed herself to show much emotion in front of her husband.