Seek Me With All Your Heart (16 page)

“Emily, you take this to your momma when you go.” Martha pushed two large bolts of colorful fabric in Emily’s direction. “She can use them to make quilts.”

“Thank you, Martha.” Emily accepted the bolts, then set them down on the floor beside her. “How much does my mother owe for these?”

Martha waved her hand at Emily. “Nothing. I like to do for others.” She leaned forward a bit and put her hand on her back again. Emily looked across the table at David, and he was glowering at her as if she was the worst person on the planet.

“Maybe—maybe we could come help you twice a week?” Emily took a deep breath.
I can’t believe I’m doing this
. “Martha, you would be paying David and me too much money, though. You’d be paying us each a hundred dol ars per week, and that seems like a lot.”

“You’l earn it.” Martha straightened up. “Believe you me.”

Emily blew out a slow breath, fearing Martha’s words to be true.

Nine

EMILY HELPED HER MOTHER FOLD THE LAST LOAD OF clothes they’d piled on the couch in the den. Her father and Levi were stil at work, instal ing a solar panel for a nearby
Englisch
family, and Jacob was at the store. He had agreed to watch the store so Emily could get off early twice a week but only in exchange for baking him a chocolate shoofly pie once a week.

David would be arriving any minute, and her stomach rol ed with anticipation about this entire venture. She tried to stay focused on the money she would be saving, but part of her was glad to be spending time with David, even though she was trying to push that thought from her mind.

“This is a nice thing you are doing, helping Martha.”
Mamm
smiled as she laid a folded towel atop a stack of other towels on the coffee table.

“She’s paying us,
Mamm
. It’s a job.” Emily brought two corners of a towel together and folded.

“
Ya
. She’s paying you wel .”

“Do you think it’s wrong? Maybe we shouldn’t be doing it.”

“I reckon Martha wouldn’t have offered if she couldn’t afford it and didn’t need the help. If it wasn’t you and David, it would be someone else.”

Emily didn’t say that Martha refused to have anyone but her and David. She reached for the last towel in the pile.

“And it’s nice that you and David wil be spending time together. He seems like such a nice young man.”

“
Mamm
, please don’t start this afternoon about David.”

“What? I just made a comment, Emily.” Her mother shrugged, then picked up the laundry basket.

Emily turned to get her coat and bonnet from the rack. “I hear David coming up the drive.”

“Be safe. What are you cooking for Martha?”

“I don’t know.” Emily grinned. “But I’m sure she’l let me know what she wants.”

Her mother chuckled. “
Ya
. I’m sure she wil .”

Emily tied the strings on her black bonnet under her chin, then buttoned her coat.

“Wel , don’t forget to make your brother’s pie.”
Mamm
raised her brows and grinned. “You do remember what he did last time you promised him a pie and didn’t make him one, don’t you?”

“
Ya
, I remember.” Emily scowled as she recal ed the way Jacob put a frog in her bed every night until he got his pie. Frogs were God’s creatures, but Emily didn’t care for them. Particularly in her bed. She and Jacob were much younger then, but she wasn’t sure Jacob wouldn’t repeat himself. “I won’t forget.”

Betsy rounded the corner with a book tucked under her arm. “Are you going to marry David Stoltzfus?”

“No, Betsy!” Emily pul ed the wooden door open and saw David exiting the buggy. That’s al she needed was for David to overhear Betsy’s comments.

“I have to go.”

Betsy set her book on the kitchen table. “
Gut
. I don’t want you to marry him.” Then she turned to
Mamm
. “Can I play with Anna and Elizabeth later today?”

Emily didn’t hear her mother’s response. She closed the door behind her, darted down the porch steps, and climbed into the buggy.

“This sunshine makes it feel not nearly as cold.” David closed the door behind her and walked around and got inside. “It wasn’t too bad a drive over here, but that blanket is stil in the back. You’l probably need that.” David pointed behind them, then maneuvered the horse until they were heading back down the driveway.

Emily reached for the folded blanket and laid it on her lap.

After a few minutes, David turned toward her. “Feel like sharing that?” He grinned, even though his body shivered.

“I thought you said it wasn’t that cold?” Emily started to spread out the blanket.

“The sun is shining; that’s what I said. It doesn’t seem
as
cold, but it’s stil cold.” David eyed her with a critical squint. “Plenty of blanket for both of us, I’d say.”

Emily recal ed their last squabble about the blanket, so she tossed part of the blanket onto his leg, careful not to touch him.

“
Danki.
” David pul ed the brown wool across his lap.

They were quiet for a few moments, and Emily watched David eyeing their surroundings. “It seems so barren here,” he said after a while. “And you hardly ever see another buggy on

the road. At home, you couldn’t drive a half mile without passing other Amish folks you knew.”

Emily heard the regret in his voice and decided this would be an opportunity to learn more about David, especial y since they would be spending so much time together.

“So, why exactly did your family move here?” Emily twisted slightly to face him, hoping he wouldn’t throw the question back at her.

David shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. I told you that my grandpa left us the land after he died, but the rest of our family is in Paradise, Pennsylvania, and
Daed
had plenty of land.” He shook his head. “I’m going to help
Daed
get these fields ready when the weather clears, and with the money I’ve saved, I’l be making my way back to Lancaster County.”

His words stung more than the first time she’d heard him mention this, but she certainly understood. “It is a lot different here.”

David nodded. “
Daed
said even our planting schedule, what we plant, and everything wil be different here. It’s pretty— the view of the mountains and everything—but in Paradise everything was real y wel -kept and sharp looking. There were houses al along the rol ing hil s, but here, the homes are so few and scattered. It seems
.
.
. lonely, I guess.”

“I know what you mean. Except for the mountains around us, it’s very flat here. And you’re right
.
.
. since the community is so new, there’s a long way to go before it’s like what we’re used to.”

“I won’t be around that long.” David stared straight ahead, his voice firm. He turned toward her. “What about you? You planning to get married and settle down around here?”

“No.” The word escaped her lips before she thought it through. David would want her to explain. “I mean, I plan to stay here, I guess.”

David smiled warmly. “And you’l get married.”

Emily shrugged.

David’s blue eyes searched her face, as if trying to reach into her thoughts. “You don’t have much interest in dating, marriage, or any of it, do you?”

She raised her shoulders again, then dropped them slowly.

“That’s odd. A pretty
maedel
like you.”

Emily locked eyes with him as her heart fluttered.
Why can’t things be different?
She pul ed her gaze from his and stared straight ahead for a moment, then she turned toward him. “You said you don’t have any interest in dating either. Why is that?”

David shifted his weight in the seat, and Emily suspected he was about to tel her a partial version of the truth. He had everything in the world going for him. She’d thought he was sparing her feelings when he’d told her before that he didn’t want to date anyone, but he sure sent mixed signals. Like his playful flirting at Martha’s house.

“Just not in my plan.” He didn’t look at her when he spoke. Emily kept her eyes on him for a few moments, but he didn’t elaborate.

“Wel , I guess we chose each other wisely then.” His head turned toward Emily as she spoke. “We both needed a friend, and neither of us longs for anything more.” Emily knew it was now her who was giving a partial version of the truth. She longed for nothing more than to be loved. Loved by a good man, someone she could trust and raise a family with. But unworthiness fil ed the space around her, the air she breathed, and everything she touched.

She fought the buildup of anger as she thought about everything James had stolen from her. She felt David’s eyes on her, and she slowly turned her head toward him.

“I’m glad we’re friends.” David smiled, and Emily’s heart pattered against her chest so hard she could barely breathe.

“Me too.”

“And, Emily
.
.
.” David faced forward, his expression serious. “I know something happened to you, and I’m sorry. If you ever want to talk about it, or—”

“No.” She shook her head hard. “No.”

David held up a palm. “Okay, it’s okay. I was just offering.”

She took a deep breath, then watched the cold air cloud in front of her as she exhaled. “Maybe someday.” She heard herself say the words, but she couldn’t believe she’d said them. She could never tel David what happened. Never.
Then why did I say that?

“The thought of anyone hurting you makes me feel like I could breathe fire and
.
.
.” David scowled as he stopped midsentence, and Emily felt warm from head to toe, almost tempted to tel him. But then he’d see her as the ruined woman she was, and she’d prefer that he not look at her with pity.

She touched his arm, a spontaneous gesture that caught her off guard. “I’m fine now, David. Real y.”

His eyes landed where her hand rested, then she quickly pul ed it away.

DAVID WANTED TO reach over and latch onto Emily’s hand, for reasons that confused him. He had no plans to stay here, to ever marry, and certainly he didn’t want anything more than friendship from Emily. But her gentle touch sent his heart racing, and he would need to keep reminding himself that friendship was al he had to offer her. Growing close to Emily would only hurt them both in the long run. And from the looks of things, Emily had been hurt enough.

They rode silently for a while, just the clippety-clop of hooves against the asphalt. Snow banks several feet high lined both sides of the road like tiny replicas of the mountains that surrounded them, each smal peak glistening from the sun’s bright rays. David was wishing he’d brought his sunglasses.

“So, which mountain are you going to climb?” he asked after the silence grew awkward. He looked her way, happy to see his question brought a smile to her face.

“I don’t know.” She frowned, folded her arms across her chest. “Levi said I can’t climb any of these mountains, but I reckon there has to be one suitable for climbing. In the spring I wil find my mountain, and when I do, I’m going to climb it.” She nodded her head once, then turned toward him and smiled.

“You’re so pretty.” David silently blasted himself for voicing the thought, which just seemed to spil out, but it was so true.

She pul ed her gaze from him, and it was cute the way she pinched her lips together as her cheeks turned a bright shade of pink. She didn’t look at him when she final y spoke. “
Danki.
”

Then, as if programmed, she reached up and touched the scar above her brow, which again invoked anger that David tried to squelch. The scar did nothing to take away from Emily’s looks, but she was so self-conscious about it. David fought the urge to yel out,
Who did that to you?
He knew that would only upset her, so instead, he took a deep breath and reminded himself that it was not their way to harbor such anger. Instead, he should be trying to forgive whoever hurt Emily.

But as he looked at her again, he realized that he felt a strong desire to protect her, and forgiveness would not come easily.

EMILY HAD OFFERED to clean up Martha’s den and any other rooms in the spacious house, but Martha said everything was fine just the way it was. A quick glimpse into the formal dining room told another tale. Magazines, boxes, and other odds and ends were piled on top of a long table with eight high back chairs. In the dim light, Emily couldn’t see more than the clutter, but she figured it was probably dirty.

“I don’t use that room,” Martha said. “So it doesn’t need to be cleaned.”

“What about the other rooms down here or upstairs?”

Martha reached out the palm of her hand to Elvis and offered him some nuts. “Nope. Just supper. I already have the table set.”

“Do you need more firewood, or what chores would you like me to start on?” David removed his black felt hat and waited for instructions.

“Huh?” Martha looked up at him after the bird finished his snack. She brushed her hands together, and Emily cringed as tiny nut crumbs breezed to the floor. “Oh. Chores for you. Uh, yeah. The light bulb in my hal closet needs changing. That’s also where I keep the spare light bulbs.” She motioned down the hal way behind her.

David stood there, obviously waiting for something else to do besides change a light bulb.

“Then chop more wood, I guess.” Martha shrugged before turning to Emily. “Let’s go into the kitchen, Emily. I have something to ask you.” She headed to the kitchen and Emily fol owed, turning once to see David walking out the back door toward the wood pile.

Martha pointed to a book lying open on the kitchen table. “Can you make this for supper?”

Emily leaned down to look at the recipe Martha was pointing to. “Chicken lasagna?”

“Yes. We have everything for you to make it, and that’s what I’d like to have for supper.” She nodded her head firmly.

Emily untied her bonnet and pul ed it off. She secured loose strands of hair into her
kapp
as she read the recipe. “This cal s for a can of cream of mushroom soup, cream of chicken soup, mozzarel a cheese, and things you don’t have. Maybe next time I shop for you—”

“No. I have al those things.” Martha walked to the pantry and pul ed the door open. “See?”