Seeker (Shadows) (19 page)

“None of us should feel old,” I say. “This should be the summer of avoiding work, drinking Slurpees and wasting time.”

“Maybe after this summer, huh?” Landon chuckles.

I shrug. “Maybe.”

But we both know that something changed within us and we won’t be able to push all the knowledge we have away. That some things when you know them, they change you, and there
’s no going back to ignorance after that.

Lando
n reaches out and grasps my arm. “Didn’t think I’d say this even yesterday, but I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too.”
It starts to hit me in the chest how much I’ve missed someone I didn’t know to miss, and we grab each other in a hug.

My brother.

He smacks my back a couple times and I hit his, and then it’s too much and I turn back to my room.

This trip is definitely not what I expected.

TWENTY-TWO

Kara
 

I wake to the sound of engines and waves splashing against the side of the boat. My body tenses until I realize how warm and perfect I feel.

Ocean’s arms are curled around me, and his face is buried in the back of my neck. Our bodies are totally pressed together and I have no idea how or when that happened, but I definitely don’t want it to change.

As I roll over, I put my hand over my mouth to prevent bad breath hitting him and bury my face in his chest.

Then I realize—
I’m a prisoner, and we’re
moving
.

Where are we going?

I leap out of bed and the door is miraculously unlocked and run into the main area of the boat, which is empty. I step onto the back deck, tensed and crouched, ready to be attacked when I see Landon at the steering station, looking years older than he did yesterday.

“Are you okay?” The words are out before I can stop them.

“Tired. Can’t sleep.” He presses a button the side of his navigation screen without glancing my way.

“They’re keeping you awake,” I tell him. “Fuzzing your brain so you can’t think straight. It’s the only way they’ll win.”

He sighs instead of answering.

“Where are we going?” I ask.

The silence is long enough between us that I know where he’s going, now I’m just wondering if he’ll tell me.

“It’s my boat. I’ll take it where I like.” He readjusts his hands on the steering wheel but still won’t look at me.

Right. Panic begins to seep into my chest, but I shove it away, wondering if I can’t get to Landon a different way.

“Do you remember me?” I ask.

“What?” His head snaps my way. Now I have his attention.

“Do you remember me?”

He shakes his head but studies me differently than he has so far.

“When I was about five or six, my dad and I came to visit you.”

“My dad’s in politics.” His voice sounds forced. “Lots of people come visit.”

I keep my eyes on him hoping to read him better. “You took me to your beach.”

Landon blinks a few times as if trying to remember. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

Maybe? That trip to the beach was a defining moment in my life. The one where I knew I’d follow in my parents’ footsteps. The one where I knew I’d get to work with people like Landon. “I knew then how powerful you’d be, a ten for sure, but I didn’t tell anyone. And even with that I didn’t really get what all you could do.” I start to say how smart The Middle Men
must have been to try and keep some kind of relationship between their mom and Mr. Michaels but keep it to myself.  I’m sure it wouldn’t help me and Landon get along any.

I also should have run to my parents to tell them about Landon’s strength, but in my silly kid mind, I thought it could be a secret between us. Only that’s stupid for a million reasons, the first being that he had no idea until recently and the next being that he’s really fighting to remember me.

It hurts a little that Landon doesn’t remember because I never forgot.

“No. Wait.” Landon’s head cocks to the side. “Yeah.” He smiles a little. “I do remember. It feels like a different life.”

“It was for you.” I take a step closer, wondering a little what it would feel like to touch someone with so much energy. “The same life for me because I’ve grown up knowing what I could do. There was really no way for you to test yours without being around other people.”

“So, why did my dad keep me away?”

“Testing a theory, I guess.” I shrug. “That someone with your particular talent would grow stronger on their own. Or with only someone who had the same talent. Or maybe, because I told no one, he didn’t know until Micah came around.”

“
Still trying to find a way for him to not be an asshole.” He smirks.

The more I think about it, the more I’m sure
Micah was the trigger to how immense his abilities are. I felt him as a ten, but it would have done him no good unless he knew what to do with it. It probably also has to do with how much he feels for her.  And it means The Middle Men were wrong in assuming being around just his dad would strengthen him. “Before we got to you. Usually after high school we pick people up, give them training through college years and then they go off into the world to work. Some come in and out, but not all.”

“My dad left headquarters then.”

“He was asked to. He’s still a part of The Middle Men, and having him in government has helped a few times.” I’m watching Landon closely. “He came in once in a while. I know your dad pretty well.”

Landon frowns and I take a step back, remembering too many reasons why we won’t be more than what we are now.

“Did you know about me and Ocean?” he asks.

“I
’ve just sort of realized that his mom was a woman my parents talked about once in a while as someone they allowed to leave, but I didn’t know.” And right now I’m so glad that’s the truth because I can’t imagine how it would hurt Ocean if I’d held on to something like that.

Landon studies my face for a few more moments before turning back to his navigation screen. The boat’s rocking hard in the waves, but it’s not as horrible as it could be.

Ocean’s presence pulls my gaze from Landon and he looks between us a few times, and I’m sure he’s getting the wrong idea now and I’m not sure how to correct that.

I give Ocean a small wave, only we kissed yesterday and I
want him to know that I wanted it. That I still want it.

Ocean steps around me, careful not to touc
h and I get a twinge of sadness. Why is he being so careful?

Ocean stands next to where Landon sits in the captain’s chair. “Where we headed?”

“Long Island.”

I already sort of knew, but hearing it out loud… I stare at the navigation equipment. “You’re just going to do it? Without talking about it more? Or learning anything else?”

“I was hoping that I’d get some inspiration once we get there.” There’s no fight in Landon’s voice and even I’m starting to worry about him. But maybe now is also when I can break him down a little.

“We
might
get inspired,” I say. “We also might get burned or torn to shreds if we don’t do what they want.”

Landon turns. “Kara. I’m tired. I don’t want to lock you up again, but I will. Why don’t you join Micah on the front. She’s felt how scared you are. She gets it.
Convince her because she’s probably the only one who could convince me to stop.”

I stand, stunned for a few minutes before stepping around the two boys. Ocean touches my arm slightly as I walk past, and gives me a little smile. Relief relaxes me as I give him a half smile back and his little smile turns into a full on grin, which means I stumble, and have to grab the railing before going over the side of the boat.

Guess I sort of know where I stand with Ocean, I just have no idea how to move forward.

Out of the corner of my eye, Landon smirks and gives Ocean a nudge with his elbow, and I’m suddenly one of the crowd. One of the people that other people talk to and about because I’m here and Micah’s felt what I’ll feel or what I do feel and Landon didn’t throw me overboard, and I don’t feel like a prisoner anymore and it’s almost like having friends. Almost.

“Ocean likes you a lot,” Micah says as I sit down next to her on the front of the boat.

“How do you—” Right. Insight. “Nevermind.” But the hope swells inside me, and I remember again that I don’t want to be dealing with two things at once. I need to handle the shadow situation, and then I can deal with how I’m feeling for Ocean.

“I don’t mean to, you know,” she says as she drops her legs over the front of the boat, letting them hang.

“Don’t mean to what?”

“Be a part of those moments in people’s lives. Landon’s made me feel better about it, and when I thought I’d lost my gift once I panicked, but I’d be okay without it.”

“Is that your fear?” I wonder. “Being without your gift and not what the shadows might do?”

Have they not listened to me at all?

“So, Ocean.” She turns toward me.

“I don’t want to talk about Ocean.” I shake my head, wanting to know where she stands on Landon trying to help the shadows.

“I do. Just for a little bit.”

And because I’m supposed to be playing nice and play along, I ask, “What do you want to know?”

Micah smiles. “Don’t sound so excited about sharing.”

“Sorry.” I try to re-group and wonder how little I can tell her but still relay what I want to. “I don’t have a lot of experience with—”

“Being around normal people?” she suggests.

“Not a one of us is normal.”

Micah shrugs. “Guess it’s all in your definition then. Landon was the second boy I kissed, ever.”

I open my mouth to tell her Ocean was my first, but keep it in. I glance behind me and can just make out the blond heads of Landon and Ocean at the steering station.

“Ocean is good all the way through. The emotions I get from him are so pure. It’s a little astounding.” She’s now looking back where I just was.

“Look, Micah…” I start as she stays focused on the boys.

She turns, now staring at the ocean, pointedly not looking at me. “I’m going to trust Landon and do whatever he decides.”

“But what if it kills us all?”

“I spent almost all of my life afraid of who I was. What I am. What I can do. I never told anyone because I couldn’t stand the thought of losing the very few people around me. Long before Landon knew what he could do and long before I understood anything about where my talent came from or The Middle Men or anything, he loved me. Me. With all of my crazy flaws, and fear of people and of him. He took everything without hesitation.” I don’t need Insight to know that Micah’s love runs deep and that she came from a darker place than I can understand.

I’ve grown up with so much pride in what I can do. In my talent. And she grew up afraid of it, and on top of that was hit with the emotions of everyone who touched her. It’s maybe a little amazing that she’s isn’t a complete mental case.

“I’ve never seen Landon broken the way he is now. And if when we get there, he wants to move forward with whatever we’re supposed to do, I’m ready to face the consequences with him.”

“That’s insane. You know this, right? Would you leap off a cliff if he asked you to?” This is another reason that getting involved with someone who has matching energy might not be the best idea. Total insanity.

“You and I both know that’s not the same.” Micah shakes her head. “And what if we’re right and it works? What if we’re able to let all of these people die in peace the way they weren’t allowed to three hundred years ago? How incredible would it be to be part of something like that?”

I swallow once before I can find my voice. “But, Micah. You have felt how afraid I am. It’s real. What I know is real. My scar is real. The danger is real. Do you remember being afraid when you saw the shadows? Do you remember how your chest tightened up and you ran? That’s instinct. Don’t let them fool you into thinking they’re something they’re not.”

Micah covers her face with her hands for a moment before pulling in a deep breath and looking at me again, her blonde hair is positively wild around her face. “And you remember that Landon told you to come out here even knowing how I’m unsure and knowing how you would try to persuade me. He’s not going into this blind.”

“No.” I shake my head. “He’s going into this completely and totally deceived. I’m not saying he’s not smart. I’m saying they’ve had three hundred years to prepare just how to get people with energy to come here.”

It takes everything in me not to scream as Micah stands and walks back to Landon, leaving me on the front of the boat by myself. I’m sure he’s going to go through with it, and if that’s the case, maybe I should just jump off the boat now and see where I end up. The water’s warm, and there are lots of small cayes around here. I could hole up for a while. I’ve got my watch, and I’m not without survival skills.

I lean over the front of the boat. It would be so easy. Just step off, rip the stupid metallic tape off my watch, and call for help. Not that the metallic tape can stop the
transmission, it just might slow it down. I wonder if they can pinpoint my location now that the storm is clearing and if they can, how disappointed my parents might be.