Seeker (Shadows) (20 page)

“Please stay, Kara.” Ocean sits next to me.

He had to know what I was just thinking.

“I will, but I’m failing. I don’t know who else to talk to. How to convince them.”

“I asked Landon last night to talk with everyone and ask them to really give your knowledge on this some thought. I think they will.” There’s a wonderful kind of innocence about Ocean, even though I’m sure he’s not innocent—he’s way too good at talking to people and touching me for that. My mind picks up on what Micah said a few moments ago in how pure his emotions are and I start to really wonder what he feels for me.

No, Kara. One problem at a time.

“What do you think they’ll decide?” I ask.

“I don’t know.”

“And what will you decide?” The words hurt coming out because I want him to take me in his arms and tell me that he’ll be with me, no matter what.

So much for one problem at a time.

He takes my hand in his and rests his two hands on my one. “I’m sorry, Kara. I don’t know yet. I wish I could believe everyone, but I can’t. I don’t know what to do.”

My heart squeezes a little because I want him to trust me like Micah trusts Landon. But as I watch his hair blow in the wind and feel our hands together, our energy mixing together, I know it’s going to take more than want. We’re too new for that kind of trust. But I want it, whatever Landon and Micah have, whatever Dean and Addison h
ave, and for me, that’s a big deal.

“They’re in there talking now. I’m going to go back. Do you want to sit in, or…?”

“No. I can’t take it. I’ve already told them what I want to say. You could just remind them, okay? I need to be alone.” I have too much to process because when he’s around, and I forget that there are other things more pressing than how I feel.

He pulls our hands up together and kisses mine sending shivering waves through me that I want to find a way to get more of. “I wish that we’d had time together before this.”

“If we’re lucky, we’ll have time after.” I squeeze his hand, and he leans over until his nose touches my cheek and his warn breath tickles my neck.

He gives me a quick kiss before standing up and walking to the back of the boat to talk.

I’m dancing inside for Ocean and dreading learning the outcome of their little chat. I guess the best I can hope for is continued postponements.

Seems like kind of a lame wish when all I really want right now, and for the first time ever, is to be home, to be normal, and to go on a real date with Ocean

TWENTY-THREE

Kara

I’m glad for the time alone, but I need to know what’s going on inside the boat. Just before I start to stand, Ocean steps next to me and sits. “Nothing’s decided, but we’re going to Long Island.”

I give him a smile as a lie to say that I’m okay. I’m not okay, I just can’t formulate what to do.

“I know you have to be thinking a million things right now.”

“Too many to put into words.” I lean against him and he pulls me in front of him, wrapping his arms around my middle and resting his chin on my shoulder.

The energy pushes between us and swirls around us and I can barely take a deep breath.

“Relax into it, Kara.” He pulls h
is arms more tightly. I close my eyes and try to force my body to relax, but it’s so hard.

“That’s a little better.” He chuckles. “One day you’ll be able to really relax when I hold you, and it’ll be perfect.”

“One day.” And because I want to give him something to show him I’m trying and that I want him around, I turn my head until his lips touch mine. His kiss is soft and unhurried and everything I wanted for my first kiss. In my mind, this one can be it. This is the first time we’ve kissed when it belonged to both of us.

“I’m falling for you, you stubborn girl.” He smiles and kisses the corner of my mouth.

I pull his arms more tightly around me. “Me, too.”

The wind has filled the sails, and we’re really moving now. I’m actually on a boat with no way off and no say in what happens. There’s almost a calm, peaceful feeling in knowing that it’s all out of my hands. Thinking about what I’ll tell my parents starts turning my stomach inside out, and thinking about the shadows does the same thing, so I stare out at the water instead.

Ocean and Landon crawl on the top of the boat together, leaving Micah at the wheel, and Dean and Addison who knows where.

Landon and Ocean sit close, like brothers, and Landon’s holding his phone in both hands and staring.

“Here we go.” Landon grins as he starts to dial. “I don’t have much time before we’re traced, so it needs to count.”

I glance between them again. They move like brothers, sit like brothers, have the same smile. 

Ocean waves once to say I can join them, and before giving it much thought, I climb onto the roof with them, just close enough to hear. Ocean immedi
ately takes my hand and smiles, so I scoot a little closer.

“Hello?” A man answers the other end of the line.

“Hey, Dad,” Landon says.

“Where the hell are you? I have people breathing down my neck. I’m up to my ass in appropriations committee paperwork or I’d be down there hunting your ass.”

Landon’s still, holding the phone between he and Ocean. “I met my twin brother the other day. You have about thirty seconds to give me the rundown if you ever want to have any kind of relationship with me again.” Landon’s voice is calm but forceful, and I’m holding my breath as I wait to see what happens.

There’s a long pause.

“Well, that just sucks, Dad.” Landon’s face contorts as he holds the phone out almost as if he’s about to throw it.

Micah’s behind Landon in seconds, her arms around his middle and her face pressed against his shoulder.

“Wait!” His dad yells. “Belinda. God. She was…everything. Amazing.”

Landon’s eyes meet Ocean’s, and Ocean nods. His mother.

“Her and I. You and I have the same gift, Landon. But you’re more powerful than anyone I’ve seen. Belinda and I loved each other and hated each other, and when it was on it was…everything. But when we weren’t, we’d both get caught up in a rage we had a hard time controlling. We loved each other, but we couldn’t live like that.  No one could live like that and stay sane. Too much energy.”

“Dad.” Landon stops him. “I have older brothers.”

There’s another pause. “Belinda left The Middle Men and begged to be left alone. I love your mother. Your… The woman who raised you.”

“Does she know?” Landon asks.

Mr. Michaels scoffs. “She knows you’re mine. And she knows she didn’t give birth to you, yes.”

“But—”

“The Middle Men asked if I’d check on Belinda. It had been years. Your mom was so distracted and we’d been fighting and it was stupid, yes. The moment I saw her it was like I’d never walked away. A day and a half later, we were screaming in anger like we did when we weren’t… Well. Doing other things.”

I can feel my cheeks heat up at Landon’s Dad’s admission, and then I start to wonder if this was my mom’s idea, because putting those two together to experiment as to what their children could do, definitely seems like something she’d try.

Landon checks the phone. “Ten seconds, Dad.”

“Sorry I didn’t tell you. But you need to turn around. You have no idea what you’re playing with out there—”

“Did you just come and pick one of us up?” Ocean snaps, but Mr. Michaels probably doesn’t know the difference between the voices of the two guys.

“The Middle Men told me when you and your brother were born. Twins, but not identical. She named both boys Ocean, and when I showed up we fought, like we did, and I refused to live without seeing my sons. She said she wouldn’t part with the one who had her talent, and that she wasn’t going to have a half-relationship with her own children and then she let you go.”

Landon slumps, Micah’s tears start falling and my chest caves in for both guys.

“Time,” Ocean whispers, pointing at the phone and trying to look normal.

“I’m not turning around, Dad.” And he hangs up.

I do for Ocean what he’d done for me not long ago and scoot around behind him to wrap my arms around him. The warmth of his body pushes into mine, and I lean my head on his back amazed at how natural it feels. He feels new, but there’s so much comfort that it’s like I’ve been with him forever. His arms rest over mine, and it hits me that he was exactly right—whatever we have between us has to be rare
, and I’m trying to decide if I care that my energy is dictating part of this or not.

Ocean looks
toward Landon as his fingers absently brush over mine. “I can’t believe Mom just let him take you.”

“So she could keep you.” There’s no hiding the hurt in Landon’s voice. “But my dad took me without looking back, and left you there.”

“Guess they
are
both assholes.” Ocean pushes out a laugh and I know I’m missing something here, because even Landon laughs, but it’s definitely forced.

Again, I ache a little wanting to make it better for Ocean. He’s right. Both parents pulled asshole moves. It’s not something I could ever really hope to understand.

“Come with me?” Ocean stands and I stop my arms off him follow him to the back of the boat. “Someone needs to check on the autopilot.”

Landon and Micah stretch out on the roof as the sun comes up and the wind nearly stops, slowing our movement to a crawl.

He sits on the edge of the seat, making room for me to sit next to him, which I take, even though my heart’s starting to go a little crazy. Ocean’s staring at me, but I can’t take it so I check over the navigation. Landon has this set up for beginners. Sheesh. If this is the kind of screen he needs to get around, he shouldn’t be out here. I push a few buttons and get the chart to work with his radar so the screen can be split or shared.

“Holy…” Ocean squints. “Awesome.”

“It’s my thing.” I push a few more buttons, and don’t even take the opportunity to set us on a different course. It’s not like Micah wouldn’t see the difference in our futures immediately. I have to take a deep breath to move my tightening chest as I think about how truly trapped I am.

“I love this energy between us,” Ocean whispers as his fingers stroke my leg.

“Doesn’t that worry you?”

“No. He wraps his arm around me. “No. Because I love how your stubborn mind works and I love that you fight for the things you care about.”

I pull away enough to see his face, but not enough that his arm can’t still hold me. “Even if you’re not sure if you agree?”

“Yep.” He frowns a little as he pulls me closer. “And with this whole thing with Landon, it feels really good to be close to you.”

I swallow a few times because I want to be for him what Micah is for Landon. How he relaxes the moment she touches him. I wrap my arms around his neck, feeling brave. “I’m sorry I don’t know what to do to make you feel better.”

“You’re here. That’s enough.” He squeezes my knee.

And this time I lean over and press my lips to his cheek, letting him hold me closer than I ever thought I would—even after the first time we touched and I knew how he’d feel next to me.

Dean and Addison stumble up the stairs from their room, holding hands, and looking bleary eyed. She turns and gives him a smile, and that small, intimate gesture makes me wish none of us were here because there’s this bubble of happiness around them that I don’t fully understand.

“You two have a nice night?” Landon
winks. “Wink, wink, nudge, nudge…” He cackles as he flops down at the table on the back deck. Only an hour after talking with his dad, and he’s back to relaxed Landon. A little more haggard looking, but still Landon.

Instead of blushing, Addison steps into Dean’s arms.

“The Monty Python jokes are getting old!” Dean yells from inside the boat.

“Blame Micah. She’s the one who got me hooked.” Landon pops open a Coke and takes a long drink.

“And we’re letting the prisoner navigate?” Addison walks onto the back deck and glances to where Ocean and I are sharing the captain’s chair.

“She’s a hell of a lot better at it than the rest of us.” Landon smirks. “You’ll love what she did with the charts.”

Addison rolls her eyes, but stops herself and glances away quickly. Maybe even feeling guilty for giving me crap. Or maybe I want to feel okay being here that much. Which is stupid. I mean, they’re all ignoring me and going where I told them not to go, it’s just that… I’m not sure what, and maybe that’s something I sorta want to find out.

TWENTY-FOUR 

Kara

The closer we get to Long Island the tenser I get. Do I contact The Middle Men? Can they read my location through the tape (I’m sure they can) and know where we are? Will they think Ocean and I are helping?

Will Ocean help?

My stomach’s in knots.

Yesterday, I thought I felt trapped and that it didn’t matter that they were moving forward because I could do nothing. Today I
’d feel like a traitor for stopping them.