Seger, Maura (14 page)

Drowning in sensation, she savored the enthralling differences between them, loving what her fingers discovered about the bulging strength of his muscles, the fiery heat of his rough-textured skin, the shudders of pleasure that followed the path of her gentle touch.

The harsh intake of his breath thrilled her, as did the racing beat of his heart beneath her hand. When his mouth slipped down to nuzzle the sensitive line of her throat, she could not help but respond in kind. Her tongue darted out to taste the faintly salty flavor of his skin, lapping at him like a kitten at a dish of cream.

"So beautiful"
he moaned huskily, his fingers trembling as they swiftly undid the tie of her robe, pushing open the delicate fabric to reveal the lovely body beneath.

The flickering light of oil lamps shone on the opalescent perfection of her skin. Her breasts swelled at his touch, the velvet tips hard and taut. His hands easily spanned the narrowness of her waist, brushing down across her flat abdomen toward the dark tangle of curls between her thighs.

Slowly, almost reverently, he bent his head, tracing the curve of her breast with his lips, coming ever closer to the straining peak that begged for his touch. As he drew her gently into his mouth, Erin gasped. It had never occurred to her that a man might suckle her, much less that the effect would be so devastating.

Undulating waves of rapture rippled through her. Behind her closed eyelids, pinpoint sparks of light exploded riotously. Blood pounded in her ears like the rush of an ancient wind blowing away the last fragments of resistance.

Stretched out beneath him on the bed, her arms twined around his massive chest and her body arched against his sinewy length, she knew only that she wanted to belong to him in the most elemental way possible.

When he abruptly stopped his dizzying caresses, frustration stabbed through her.

"Storm . . . please . . ."

He didn't answer. Instead, he sat up shakily, running a hand through his unruly hair.
"My God, what am I doing?"

Erin stared at him in dismay. Even with all her inexperience, it seemed perfectly obvious what was happening. What she couldn't understand was why he had stopped, just when they seemed on the edge of a glorious revelation she could not bear to be denied.

A cry of protest rose in her throat, only to be cut off by his sudden movement. Seizing the edges of her robe, he yanked them together over her body, as though he could not bear the sight of her nakedness.

Jumping up, he pulled her to her feet and, without a word of explanation, marched her back to her own room, where he left her dazed, bewildered and more frustrated than she had ever been in her life.

Chapter Ten

Rain splattering against the tile roof woke Erin from an uneasy sleep. She turned over gingerly, reluctant to give up her dreams. The damp smell of dying foliage mingled with the cozy aroma of the charcoal brazier that had burned all night to help keep her warm. In the distance, she could hear the sounds of the household beginning to stir.

The kitchen would already be busy with preparations for the day's meals. Sleepy-eyed serving girls would be rinsing rice kernels, slicing vegetables, and pounding soybeans under the watchful gaze of the cook.

In the stables, grooms would be cleaning out the stalls that housed Storm's half-dozen horses and filling the troughs with clean water. Gardeners would be raking up the scar- let and gold leaves that had fallen from the almost bare trees. They would be put carefully away in the compost shed to help form fertilizer for the next year's flowers.

Odetsu would be up and dressed, overseeing the household with her usual calm efficiency. There would be no slacking off just because her employer happened to be away.

Erin sat up slowly, stifling a sigh. In the three weeks she had lived in Storm's home, she had grown more and more puzzled by his behavior. Since that first night, when he had so unexpectedly broken off their lovemaking, he had scrupulously avoided touching her. Though they shared most meals and spent hours in each other's company, he seemed content for her to be no more than a friend and business associate.

Certainly he had never again suggested by word or deed that he wanted her to be bis mistress. At a loss to understand his behavior, Erin finally concluded that she must lack some essential quality he required in a bed-mate. While he seemed willing enough to keep his promise regarding the purchase of cargo for her ships, he appeared to want nothing in return other than companionship.

That left Erin singularly unsatisfied. The strain of being in his presence without revealing the vast love she felt for him was almost unbearable. She could not deny a certain relief when he had announced a few days before that he had to take a trip down the coast on some unspecified business.

While he was gone, she was making a sincere effort to come to terms with her complex emotions, in the hope that when he returned she might be able to confront him openly about their situation.

Distracted by a soft knocking at the door, she got out of bed and padded quickly across the smooth wood floor to admit Odetsu. The Japanese woman's cheery spring-green kimono embroidered with white and pink plum blossoms made Erin smile. Odetsu had confided to her that she loathed cold weather and viewed the advent of each winter with dismay. Her choice of garments declared her unwillingness to accept the gray dankness of the season.

"Ah, you are awake," she said, standing aside to admit two little serving girls carrying a basin, towels and a tray of tea and cakes. "That is good. It is much too nice a morning to sleep away."

"Nice, but chilly," Erin said, eyeing the steaming water appreciatively. "I expect to see frost any day now."

"Soon enough," Odetsu agreed. "The chrysanthemums we collected yesterday will be the last for a long time. Perhaps later you would like to help me arrange them."

Splashing the sleep from her eyes, Erin nodded. "I've enjoyed the flower-arranging lessons you've given me, as well as the instruction in playing the samisen and performing the tea ceremony. But I don't want you to think you have to keep me occupied."

Odetsu laughed as she held out a quilted cotton kimono for Erin to slip on. The ready friendship that had sprung up between them allowed her to indulge in a little gentle teasing.

"Are you saying you don't regret not being able to go to the boatyard or into town? When Davin-san gave instructions for you to remain here during his absence, he said you were liable to chafe at such restrictions. Was that not correct?"

"I suppose," Erin admitted. "It's a good thing I understood the reasons behind his orders, or you can be sure I would have objected to them strenuously."

"Ever since that attack in the marketplace, it is not safe for anyone to go about without an escort. Yokohama looks calm enough on the surface, but I fear we have only begun to see the trouble that is corning."

Brushing the tangles from her hair, Erin nodded somberly. Unable to hide the worry in her voice, she asked, "Do you think Davin-san will be home soon?"

Odetsu smiled gently. She did not ascribe to the widely held believe that Westerners were artlessly transparent. But she had to admit that Erin's feelings were hardly mysterious.

From the first moment she had seen her employer and his lovely guest together, she recognized the intense currents of passion running between them. What she had difficulty understanding was why two people who were so obviously meant to be together seemed intent on staying apart.

"Yes," she said reassuringly. "I had a message early this morning. If all goes well, he should be back tonight."

"Goes well? Does that mean there is some danger in what he is doing?"

Odetsu hesitated. She did not want to worry Erin, but on the other hand she thought it might be beneficial for her young friend to know the truth of the situation.

"Davin-san has gone to meet with several leaders of the movement to overthrow the shogun. He is in sympathy with their objectives and they accept him as one of the few Westerners who can be trusted. The main purpose of this trip is to bring one of the leaders into Yokohama without the shogun's guards discovering his presence."

"But that sounds very dangerous," Erin exclaimed. "What would happen if they are found out?"

"They will not be," Odetsu assured her gently. "Davin-san has much experience with such matters, and the man he is bringing back, Satsuma Takamori, is very clever."

Something in the way she spoke the other man's name alerted Erin to the fact that he and Odetsu were not strangers. Glancing at her, she saw that her friend's almond-shaped eyes were unusually soft and pensive, as though focused on some inner vision. She seemed suddenly very far away, caught up in her private thoughts.

Curious about the man who could have that effect on such a calm, self-possessed woman, Erin nonetheless did not pursue the matter. She had learned enough about the intensely private Japanese character to know that any questions she might ask would be the height of discourtesy. Besides, she would be able to see what was happening for herself when Takamori and Storm arrived.

If
they arrived. Despite Odetsu's assurances, Erin had no doubts that the mission was extremely dangerous. The shogun's guards were everywhere, manning every watchtower and gateway. Since the attack in the market, they were more vigilant than ever. A shiver of fear ran through her as she considered what would happen to Storm if he were caught.

Hard upon it came anguish at the thought of all the time she had wasted. How could she bear it if they were parted forever without her ever telling him how she felt? The pride and doubt that had prevented her from speaking up now seemed singularly unimportant. What did they matter when compared with the overwhelming love she could no longer deny?

But what if, far from returning her love, Storm genuinely no longer even desired her? Erin shivered at that thought. Should she discover that to be the case, all the joy and promise of her life would be gone.

Driven by an almost intolerable need for reassurance, she murmured, "Do you think . . . that is, from what you've seen, does it appear to you that Davin-san . . . wants me to remain here?"

Struck by a very un-Japanese desire to laugh, Odetsu had to take a deep breath before answering. "Of course he does. Why else would he spend so much time with you? I cannot pretend to understand all the ways of Westerners, but some things are the same for men and women everywhere. It is very clear that Davin-san cares for you." Deliberately she added, "Just as it is obvious that you care for him."

"I do," Erin admitted huskily. She glanced down at her hands, twisting in her lap. "So much that sometimes it actually hurts. I just don't know what to do about it."

A gracefully curved eyebrow arched eloquently. "When a man and woman desire each other, there is only one thing to do. Westerners must already know this. How else could there be so many of you?"

Erin smiled faintly, but could not prevent a slight blush. "It's different for us. Here in Japan, you seem to be very matter-of-fact about. . . physical matters. Where I come from, it is all shrouded in mystery. Unless a woman has actually been married, she very often doesn't know much about these things."

Odetsu frowned slightly. "Are you saying that you have not been taught how to please a man, and how he can please you?"

Erin's blush deepened. "We don't speak of such matters."

"But why not? They are one of the great joys of life."

"I know, or at least I'm willing to believe they are. But people back home think that it's improper, even immoral, to bring them out in the open and talk about them. So even though I'm twenty-four years old and I've worked as a nurse, I feel very ignorant."

"So you desire Davin-san but you do not know how to encourage him to feel the same way about you?"

"That's only part of the problem. Even if I did know, I can't imagine what good it would be. If I made any . . . overtures to him, he would think I was being unbearably forward."

Odetsu shook her head in astonishment. She had difficulty believing that any people could create such complications in what was essentially a very simple matter. Yet Erin was obviously sincere. She had not considered making the first move toward Storm, despite the fact that his own sense of morality hindered him from following through on what they both so clearly wanted.

Smothering a sigh, she marveled at the quandary two apparently intelligent people could get themselves into. How fortunate that there was a Japanese on hand to help them out. She hesitated barely an instant before deciding it was up to her to end the stalemate between her honored employer and his beautiful guest.

Very quietly, so that Erin had to lean forward to hear her, she asked, "Have you thought that perhaps there is some reason for Storm's behavior which you are overlooking? Something that prevents him from making love to you?"

Erin swallowed hard. Far from being distressed by Odetsu's frankness, she was grateful for it. At last there was someone she could turn to for help and advice.

"No ... I hadn't considered that. Except, of course, to wonder if he just doesn't desire me."

"His behavior has made it clear such is not the case. But are you aware that sometimes it is not enough for a man to simply desire a woman?"

"Not enough? I don't understand."

Odetsu smothered a sigh. Such ignorance was truly remarkable. But in this case, at least, it just might be for the best. "Davin-san fought in your Civil War, did he not? Men in battle are very vulnerable. Are you certain he was not injured in some way?"

"He may have been. But there's no sign of any lasting wound."

"Isn't there? Sometimes when a man has been through a terrible experience, he needs a very loving, caring woman to help him believe he is still truly a man. Otherwise, certain physical acts become extremely difficult."

As the full meaning of her words sank in, Erin's eyes grew saucer-wide. She turned bright red, but only for an instant. All the color drained from her features, leaving her ghostly white. "Are you saying . . . ?"