Selby Speaks (13 page)

“Please forgive me, I didn’t steal it,” Dr Trifle said, getting to his feet and dusting himself off. “I only borrowed it back to uncross your eyes. I wanted to do it while you were out of town to surprise you, but it took till today to get it right. See?” he said, pointing to the portrait.

“He’s right,” Selby thought as he looked up at the repainted portrait, “the eyes aren’t crossed
any more. In fact they’re
very
uncrossed — they’re looking off in different directions.”

“Oh, darling,” Mrs Trifle said, giving Dr Trifle a mayorly hug, “it’s a wonderful surprise. Of course you’re forgiven.”

“And so ends another day and another mystery,” Selby said, quoting what Inspector Quigley always said at the end of his program, and he dashed home to watch the latest episode of
Inspector Quigley’s Casebook, The Case of the Quick-Thinking Dog.

Duncan Ball

‘Tell me what I should do with my life!’ Bert wailed. ‘Should I catch a boat to South America? Should I learn to play the trombone? Should I start an ostrich farm? I need your help! Give me a sign, any sign!’

Sadly, Bert was talking to the only one he trusted in the whole world: Gazza, his stuffed goat. And, once again, the goat wasn’t talking …

Piggott Place
is a riotous but touching comedy about twelve-year-old Bert Piggott as he struggles to keep his family of dreamers, ratbags and scoundrels together. Everyone hates the Piggotts and now the council is going to evict them from their once beautiful mansion, Piggott Place. But the authorities haven’t bargained on Bert and his young friend Antigone (would-be star of stage and screen) and their crazy scheme. The question is: can two kids take on a world of adults and win?

Duncan Ball

Piggotts in Peril
begins with the shy and sensitive Bert Piggott accidentally finding the map to pirate treasure hidden many years ago by his great-great-great-great-grandfather. At first a quest for untold wealth seems the answer to all his problems but getting it means bringing along his scheming, ratbag family. Little does he know that what lies ahead are problems that even the pessimistic Bert could never imagine: the terror of turbulent seas aboard a ‘borrowed’ boat, capture by pirates, being marooned on the Isle of the Dead, and more.

Piggotts in Peril
is a warm, adventure-comedy about the origins of the universe, the evolution of humankind — and pirate treasure.

Duncan Ball is an Australian author and scriptwriter, best known for his popular books for children. Among his most-loved works are the Selby books of stories plus the collections
Selby’s Selection, Selby’s Joke Book
and
Selby’s Sidesplitting Joke Book
. Some of these books have also been published in New Zealand, Germany, Japan and the USA, and have won countless awards, most of which were voted by the children themselves.

Among Duncan’s other books are the Emily Eyefinger series about the adventures of a girl who was born with an eye on the end of her finger, and the comedy novels
Piggott Place
and
Piggotts in Peril
, about the frustrations of twelve-year-old Bert Piggott forever struggling to get his family of ratbags and dreamers out of the trouble they are constantly getting themselves into.

Duncan lives in Sydney with his wife, Jill, and their cat, Jasper. Jasper often keeps Duncan company while he’s writing and has been known to help by walking on the keyboard. Once, returning to his work, Duncan found the following word had mysteriously appeared on screen: lkantawq

Emily Eyefinger
Emily Eyefinger, Secret Agent
Emily Eyefinger and the Lost Treasure
Emily Eyefinger and the Black Volcano
Emily Eyefinger’s Alien Adventure
Emily Eyefinger and the Devil Bones
Emily Eyefinger and the Balloon Bandits
Emily Eyefinger and the Ghost Ship

Piggott Place
Piggotts in Peril

Selby’s Secret
Selby Speaks
Selby Screams
Selby Supersnoop
Selby Spacedog
Selby Snowbound
Selby Surfs
Selby Snaps!
Selby’s Joke Book
Selby Splits
Selby’s Selection
Selby’s Stardom
Selby’s Side-Splitting Joke Book
Selby Sorcerer
Selby Scrambled