Semper Fi (40 page)

Shoulders hitching up with a deep breath, Cal nodded. “Heading south.”

“Think it’ll be bad?”

Cal met his gaze. “Yeah. We should get some sleep.”

It was almost dawn when Jim stirred in his foxhole. The rain had let up, although he was still soaked to the skin, cold and clammy as he stretched his aching limbs. The fighting had quieted in the night, and it was almost eerily calm as he shuffled toward the trees to piss. As he passed the rest of the sleeping squad, he blinked at two empty muddy foxholes.

Without another thought, he raced into the forest with his rifle at the ready. He was already too far gone when he realized he should have woken Cal and the others. He followed the route Sully and the replacement would have taken, darting his eyes left and right in the gloom. Everything faded away behind him and he listened intently.

Stopping in his tracks, he peeked around a large patch of scrubby bushes. Ahead, two figures sat against the wide trunk of a tree. Adrenaline bursting through him, Jim raised his rifle and fired as he dropped to his belly in the muck. The shot echoed through the leaves, but the two men didn’t so much as flinch. As his heart clobbered his ribs, Jim got them in his sights again.

It was as though time stood still, everything silent but for the blood rushing in his ears. Jim stared at the unmoving men, and finally realized what he was looking at.

Who
he was looking at.

He blinked, certain his eyes were betraying him. He pushed himself to his feet and took a tentative step. Then another, and another, until he stood trembling in front of the bodies.

Sully’s red hair was almost the only distinguishable feature left. Where his hazel eyes had been were now empty, bloody sockets. His mouth was horribly stretched around a hunk of flesh. As Jim tried to make sense of the gore and slashed uniforms, he realized it was Sully’s penis that had been shoved into his mouth.

The replacement was equally brutalized, and Jim choked on a scream and surging bile. He looked down and realized he was standing in the blood and guts that had been strewn across the forest floor.

By the time he registered the footsteps, they were right behind him. Jim yanked his Ka-Bar knife from his belt as he lunged around. Cal raised his arms as he barely dodged the blade.

“Whoa! It’s me!”

Cal. He’ll fix it. He’ll make everything okay.
Jim lowered his arm and swayed on his feet. Cal caught his shoulders, and his fingers dug into Jim’s flesh.

“It’s okay. You’re okay. Come on, let’s get back.”

“We can’t go without them. Did you see? Do you see them?” Jim felt as though he would disintegrate if not for Cal’s grasp.

“I see them, Jim.”

“Sully…and…I can’t remember his name. Lord, I should know his name!” Jim forced his lungs to expand, and a sob escaped his lips. Sully’s voice echoed in his head—the twang of his accent so familiar. He’d never hear it again. Jim tried to remember the last thing he’d said to his friend. He couldn’t.

“It’s all right.” Cal’s voice caught as he peered at the carnage. He cleared his throat and urged Jim to take a step. “Davis. His name was Davis.”

Gambler was on his knees heaving, and the others clearly struggled with the urge. One of them cried, “Sweet Jesus, look at them.”

Despite himself, Jim’s gaze returned to Sully and Davis. Davis’s hands and feet had been chopped off, along with his ears. Rage boiled up in Jim’s gut, and he’d never hated the Japanese more than he did in that moment. “I’ll kill them all.”

Cal’s breath was warm on his cheek, his arm steady around Jim’s shoulders as he urged another step. “Okay. Let’s go. We’ll come back with stretchers and make sure they have a proper burial.”

Gambler wept. “They were supposed to wake me and Logger up when it was our turn. I should have woke up myself and realized they weren’t back. I should have looked for them. Maybe—”

“It would have been too late.” Cal’s voice was thin, but even. “If it’s anyone’s fault for not realizing, it’s mine.” He turned Jim around and prodded him back to their camp. “We have to go.”

Jim shuffled through the leaves and dirt, telling himself not to look back.

Hours later as the sun set and the skies opened, Jim huddled behind a boulder on the outskirts of a village as bullets ricocheted overhead. The war waged on, indifferent and relentless.

Gambler was beside him swearing under his breath, cursing the Japs for surprising them, and the women and children for being in the way. “Why the fuck aren’t these people cleared out? And what the fuck are the Nips doing here? We aren’t even at the ridge!”

The rock was rough against Jim’s cheek, and he closed his eyes, seeing not the blackness he craved, but Sully’s final empty, terrible gaze. He opened his eyes again, wishing the noise would just stop. He was so tired. He vaguely remembered packing his gear that morning and moving southward with Cal at his side, murmuring words Jim didn’t understand.

Now he was here in the growing darkness with the rain pouring into his eyes. He closed them again.

“Jesus Christ! Help me with this mortar! The riflemen can’t do it all, Johnny!”

Jim opened his eyes again to find Gambler shaking him roughly.

“Snap out of it! Please! I can’t do this by myself.”

The fear in Gambler’s voice penetrated the fog in Jim’s mind, and he focused on what Gambler wanted him to do—set up the gun. He’d done it a million times, even blindfolded back in training, and Jim readied the mortar as the world continued exploding around him. When he was finished, he closed his eyes again.

Then someone was slapping his cheek, and he blinked to find Cal a few inches away, holding Jim’s face in his palms. Jim tried to make out what he was saying.

“Don’t leave me now, Jim. It’s going to be okay. We just have to get through this ambush. We’re pinned down. Are you hearing me? Jim!”

Jim hated seeing Cal upset, and the haze began to dissipate. He had to do his job. His buddies were counting on him.
Cal
was counting on him. “I’m here.”

Cal uncovered the ammo while Jim peeked out from behind the boulder to aim. All he could see were several ramshackle huts, but the Japs had to be on the other side. Movement caught his eye, and he squinted. Cal was about to drop in the shell, but Jim grabbed his wrist. “Wait.”

The woman staggered into view from behind a hut, her belly heavily swollen. Jim heard Cal shout, “Hold your fire!”

Enemy machine gun fire and artillery still came, and the woman wept, shaking her head as she stumbled toward them in the darkness. Jim inched to the edge of the boulder, crouched and ready to move. The poor woman didn’t belong here. He had to help her.

Cal’s fingers were tight on Jim’s shoulder. “Jim, stay right here.”

“Good God, she’s pregnant. The Japs may not care, but we should!”

They watched as she came closer, shaking her head rhythmically, a sob ripping from her throat.

“No,” Cal said sharply. “Something’s wrong.”

Jim moved before he knew what he was doing. He needed to save her. He couldn’t fail this woman the way he’d failed Sully. He slipped in the muck, staying low and lurching forward. He was reaching for her, getting closer, closer—

Strong hands dragged him back, hauling him through the mud.

Cal yelled, “Stop!”

Jim thrashed, kicking and scrabbling at Cal’s grip. “We have to—“

Hot gore exploded over them as a blast tore the night. Jim choked on charred flesh, certain it was his own, or Cal’s. He screamed, and tasted blood.

Then there were hands pulling him through the mud, and he blinked the singed mess from his eyes. He screamed, “Cal!” The hoarse voice at his ear was the sweetest sound he’d ever heard.

“I’ve got you.”

They reached the relative safety of the boulder. Cal was covered in blood and guts, and Jim grabbed at Cal’s arms and legs, making sure he was whole. Jim miraculously had all his limbs, too, but—God! The woman! He had to go back.

He tried to scramble around the boulder again, but Cal held him down. “Bastards strapped her with explosives. It’s over.”

Jim could do nothing but spit the metal of her blood from his mouth, too much of it already swallowed deep inside him. He thought of the terror and sorrow in her eyes, and Sully’s empty sockets.

And he knew it would never be over.

Beside Jim, Cal tensed. “Eddie? The Eddie who used to work here?”

“Yeah. I guess it’s a day for unexpected arrivals.” Jim put a spring in his step and met Eddie by the paddock fence.

After an awkward beat, Eddie extended his hand. “Jim. How are you?” He smiled tightly, the dimples in his cheeks barely making an appearance.

“Just fine. Thank you.” Jim took Eddie’s hand. “This is Cal Cunningham.”

The two men shook, and Cal smiled, although it didn’t reach his eyes. He asked, “What brings you back to Clover Grove?”

“I know harvest is almost here,” Eddie said. “I thought I’d see if you could use the help. I’m visiting my folks in town.”

Jim wanted to say that it was too little, too late for Eddie’s help now, but he pushed the unkind thought away. “How are your parents?”

“They’re good. How are Sophie and Adam?”

As if on cue, Sophie’s voice rang out, and she burst from the house with Adam at her heels. “Eddie!”

A genuine smile lit up Eddie’s face. “There’s my girl!” He lifted Sophie into a big hug.

Resentment flared in Jim. It was completely irrational and unfair—he should be glad Sophie was seeing her friend again. Cal squeezed his elbow for a fleeting moment, and Jim inhaled deeply. Of course Cal understood without him needing to say a word.

Eddie placed Sophie back on the ground and bent to hug Adam. “Look at how much you’ve grown! Both of you.”

“I’m a big boy now,” Adam said.

“He’s a goober,” Sophie added.

Laughing, Eddie ruffled Adam’s light curls and straightened. To Jim, he said, “I can’t believe it. It seems like just yesterday I saw them last.”

“It was almost a year ago,” Cal noted. “Kids grow. It’s what they do.”

His tone was jovial, but Jim could sense the surprising hostility beneath it.

Eddie nodded. “True enough. Jim, the place looks great.” He laughed incredulously. “Is that a cider house?”

“It is. Cal’s co-owner of the orchard now, and we’re expanding the business. Making hard cider,” Jim said. “I’m afraid we’re all hired up for the harvest, though.”

Eddie’s smile was tight again. “I figured you might be. I wanted to stop by anyway and say hi. I guess I should let you get back to it.”

“But you just got here!” Sophie grabbed Eddie’s hand. “You have to stay for a little while at least! I’m making shepherd’s pie for dinner. Mrs. O’Brien taught me.”

Eddie smiled. “That sounds delicious, Soph. If it’s okay with your dad I’d love to stay.”

“Of course.” Jim smiled, too, although he had to force it. He wasn’t sure why he was so unsettled by Eddie’s sudden reappearance. “We have some work to do, though.”

With a furrow in her forehead, Sophie looked back and forth between Eddie and Jim. “That’s okay. Eddie can play with us. Oh! You should see the dollhouse Uncle Cal made me! Come on!” She tugged on him impatiently, and off they went.

Cal laughed darkly. “Too bad you didn’t go to church today. I could have run him off before you got back.”

Since it was Sunday, the pickers had the day off, but Jim hadn’t felt like dressing up and going into town. It wasn’t the first service he’d skipped lately, although he knew he should take Sophie and Adam. But listening to the minister talk about living a Godly life filled Jim with confusion and shame. He needed to get his head on straight before he returned to church.

“I’m sorry to say I wouldn’t have minded if you had. Seeing him again like this, it’s…I don’t know.” Jim scrubbed a hand through his air. “It’s strange, is all. I should be glad he’s all right, given the way he disappeared.”

Cal snorted. “You don’t owe him anything, Jim.”

“Why do you say that? I know he left suddenly, but he was a big help to Ann and my father while I was gone. And when I got back. He was a good worker. That’s what made him taking off like that so upsetting.”

Cal plucked a blade of grass and rolled it between his fingers. “I just don’t like him.” He glanced up. “You didn’t seem too happy to see him either.”

“All right, I’m not. It’s silly, really.”

“What? Tell me.”

Jim put his hands on the fence and watched Mabel graze, her tail flicking rhythmically. “When I got back, it was…difficult. Sophie didn’t know me. She was so little when I left. When I came home, she was six. I was a stranger, and it was Eddie she knew. At first she clung to him. How could I blame her?”

“But it still hurt.”

Jim sighed. “It did. But I was so messed up then. The nightmares were terrible. Poor Ann didn’t know what to do.”

“Sophie told me you had a nightmare recently.”

His pulse spiking, Jim took this in. “She told you that?”

“Don’t look so guilty. It’s not your fault.” Cal reached out.

Jim sidestepped. “Of course it’s my fault. I shouldn’t still be having nightmares. Lord, it’s been years.”