Sense of Wonder: A Century of Science Fiction (474 page)

“Your Da was a twenty-year man, Zed. Are you proud that he served the Emperor?”

“Yes, lord.” Zed’s eyes sought escape, trapped by these terrible adults.

Miles forged on. “Well, these practices—mutie-killing—shame the Emperor, when he stands for Barrayar before the galaxy. I’ve been out there. I know. They call us all savages, for the crimes of a few. It shames the Count my father before his peers, and Silvy Vale before the District. A soldier gets honor by killing an armed enemy, not a baby. This matter touches my honor as a Vorkosigan, Zed. Besides”—Miles’s lips drew back on a mirthless grin, and he leaned forward intently in his chair—Zed recoiled as much as he dared—“you will all be astonished at what
only a mutie
can do.
That
I
have sworn on my grandfather’s grave.”

Zed looked more suppressed than enlightened, his slouch now almost a crouch. Miles slumped back in his chair and released him with a weary wave of his hand. “Go play, boy.”

Zed needed no urging. He and his companions shot away around the house as though released from springs.

Miles drummed his fingers on the chair arm, frowning into the silence that neither Pym nor Dea dared break.

“These hill-folk are ignorant, lord,” offered Pym after a moment.

“These hill-folk are
mine,
Pym. Their ignorance is…a shame upon my house.” Miles brooded. How had this whole mess become his anyway? He hadn’t created it. Historically, he’d only just got here himself. “Their continued ignorance, anyway,” he amended in fairness. It still made a burden like a mountain. “Is the message so complex? So difficult? ‘You don’t have to kill your children anymore.’ It’s not like we’re asking them all to learn—5-Space navigational math.” That had been the plague of Miles’s last Academy semester.

“It’s not easy for them,” shrugged Dea. “It’s easy for the central authorities to make the rules, but these people have to live every minute of the consequences. They have so little, and the new rules force them to give their margin to marginal people who can’t pay back. The old ways were wise, in the old days. Even now you have to wonder how many premature reforms we can afford, trying to ape the galactics.”

And what’s your definition of a marginal person, Dea?
“But the margin is growing,” Miles said aloud. “Places like this aren’t up against famine every winter anymore. They’re not isolated in their disasters, relief can get from one district to another under the Imperial seal…we’re all getting more connected, just as fast as we can. Besides,” Miles paused, and added rather weakly, “perhaps you underestimate them.”

Dea’s brows rose ironically. Pym strolled the length of the porch, running his scanner in yet another pass over the surrounding scrubland. Miles, turning in his chair to pursue his cooling teacup, caught a slight movement, a flash of eyes, behind the casement-hung front window swung open to the summer air—Ma Karal, standing frozen, listening. For how long? Since he’d called her boy Zed, Miles guessed, arresting her attention. She raised her chin as his eyes met hers, sniffed, and shook out the cloth she’d been holding with a snap. They exchanged a nod. She turned back to her work before Dea, watching Pym, noticed her.

* * * *

K
aral and Alex returned, understandably, around suppertime.

“I have six men out searching,” Karal reported cautiously to Miles on the porch, now well on its way to becoming Miles’s official HQ. Clearly, Karal had covered ground since midafternoon. His face was sweaty, lined with physical as well as the underlying emotional strain. “But I think Lem’s gone into the scrub. It could take days to smoke him out. There’s hundreds of places to lie low out there.”

Karal ought to know. “You don’t think he’s gone to some relative’s?” asked Miles. “Surely, if he intends to evade us for long, he has to take a chance on resupply, on information. Will they turn him in when he surfaces?”

“It’s hard to say.” Karal turned his hand palm-out. “It’s…a hard problem for ’em, m’lord.”

“Hm.”

How long would Lem Csurik hang around out there in the scrub, anyway? His whole life—his blown-to-bits life—was all here in Silvy Vale. Miles considered the contrast. A few weeks ago, Csurik had been a young man with everything going for him; a home, a wife, a family on the way, happiness; by Silvy Vale standards, comfort and security. His cabin, Miles had not failed to note, though simple, had been kept with love and energy, and so redeemed from the potential squalor of its poverty. Grimmer in the winter, to be sure. Now Csurik was a hunted fugitive, all the little he had torn away in the twinkling of an eye. With nothing to hold him, would he run away and keep running? With nothing to run to, would he linger near the ruins of his life?

The police force available to Miles a few hours away in Hassadar was an itch in his mind. Was it not time to call them in, before he fumbled this into a worse mess? But…if he were meant to solve this by a show of force, why hadn’t the Count let him come by aircar on the first day? Miles regretted that two-and-a-half-day ride. It had sapped his forward momentum, slowed him down to Silvy Vale’s walking pace, tangled him with time to doubt. Had the Count foreseen it? What did he know that Miles didn’t? What
could
he know? Dammit, this test didn’t need to be made harder by artificial stumbling blocks, it was bad enough all on its own.
He wants me to be clever,
Miles thought morosely.
Worse, he wants me to be seen to be clever, by everyone here.
He prayed he was not about to be spectacularly stupid instead.

“Very well, Speaker Karal. You’ve done all you can for today. Knock off for the night. Call your men off too. You’re not likely to find anything in the dark.”

Pym held up his scanner, clearly about to volunteer its use, but Miles waved him down. Pym’s brows rose, editorially. Miles shook his head.

Karal needed no further urging. He dispatched Alex to call off the night search with torches. He remained wary of Miles. Perhaps Miles puzzled him as much as he puzzled Miles? Dourly, Miles hoped so.

Miles was not sure at what point the long summer evening segued into a party. After supper the men began to drift in, Karal’s cronies, Silvy Vale’s elders. Some were apparently regulars who shared the evening government news broadcasts on Karal’s audio set. Too many names, and Miles daren’t forget a one. A group of amateur musicians arrived with their homemade mountain instruments, rather breathless, obviously the band tapped for all the major weddings and wakes in Silvy Vale; this all seemed more like a funeral to Miles every minute.

The musicians stood in the middle of the yard and played. Miles’s porch-HQ now became his aristocratic box seat. It was hard to get involved with the music when the audience was all so intently watching him. Some songs were serious, some—rather carefully at first—funny. Miles’s spontaneity was frequently frozen in mid-laugh by a faint sigh of relief from those around him; his stiffening froze them in turn, self-stymied like two people trying to dodge each other in a corridor.

But one song was so hauntingly beautiful—a lament for lost love—that Miles was struck to the heart.
Elena.…
In that moment, old pain transformed to melancholy, sweet and distant; a sort of healing, or at least the realization that a healing had taken place, unwatched. He almost had the singers stop there, while they were perfect, but feared they might think him displeased. But he remained quiet and inward for a time afterward, scarcely hearing their next offering in the gathering twilight.

At least the piles of food that had arrived all afternoon were thus accounted for. Miles had been afraid Ma Karal and her cronies had expected him to get around that culinary mountain all by himself.

At one point Miles leaned on the rail and glanced down the yard to see Fat Ninny at tether, making more friends. A whole flock of pubescent girls were clustered around him, petting him, brushing his fetlocks, braiding flowers and ribbons in his mane and tail, feeding him tidbits, or just resting their cheeks against his warm silky side. Ninny’s eyes were half-closed in smug content.

God,
thought Miles in jealousy,
if I had half the sex-appeal of that bloody horse I’d have more girlfriends than my cousin Ivan.
Miles considered, very briefly, the pros and cons of making a play for some unattached female. The striding lords of old and all that…no. There were some kinds of stupid he didn’t have to be, and that was definitely one of them. The service he had already sworn to one small lady of Silvy Vale was surely all he could bear without breaking; he could feel the strain of it all around him now, like a dangerous pressure in his bones.

He turned to find Speaker Karal presenting a woman to him, far from pubescent; she was perhaps fifty, lean and little, work-worn. She was carefully clothed in an aging best-dress, her graying hair combed back and bound at the nape of her neck. She bit at her lips and cheeks in quick tense motions, half-suppressed in her self-consciousness.

“ ’S Ma Csurik, m’lord. Lem’s mother.” Speaker Karal ducked his head and backed away, abandoning Miles without aid or mercy—
Come back, you coward!

“Ma’am,” Miles said. His throat was dry. Karal had set him up, dammit, a public play—no, the other guests were retreating out of earshot too, most of them.

“M’lord,” said Ma Csurik. She managed a nervous curtsey.

“Uh…do sit down.” With a ruthless jerk of his chin Miles evicted Dr. Dea from his chair and motioned the hill woman into it. He turned his own chair to face hers. Pym stood behind them, silent as a statue, tight as a wire. Did he imagine the old woman was about to whip a needler-pistol from her skirts? No—it was Pym’s job to imagine things like that for Miles, so that Miles might free his whole mind for the problem at hand. Pym was almost as much an object of study as Miles himself. Wisely, he’d been holding himself apart, and would doubtless continue to do so till the dirty work was over.

“M’lord,” said Ma Csurik again, and stumbled again to silence. Miles could only wait. He prayed she wasn’t about to come unglued and weep on his knees or some damn thing. This was excruciating.
Stay strong, woman,
he urged silently.

“Lem, he…”—she swallowed—“I’m sure he didn’t kill the babe. There’s never been any of that in our family, I swear it! He says he didn’t, and I believe him.”

“Good,” said Miles affably. “Let him come say the same thing to me under fast-penta, and I’ll believe him, too.”

“Come away, Ma,” urged a lean young man who had accompanied her and now stood waiting by the steps, as if ready to bolt into the dark at a motion. “It’s no good, can’t you see.” He glowered at Miles.

She shot the boy a quelling frown—another of her five sons?—and turned back more urgently to Miles, groping for words. “My Lem. He’s only twenty, lord.”

“
I’m
only twenty, Ma Csurik,” Miles felt compelled to point out. There was another brief impasse.

“Look, I’ll say it again,” Miles burst out impatiently. “And again, and again, till the message penetrates all the way back to its intended recipient. I
cannot
condemn an innocent person. My truth drugs won’t let me. Lem can clear himself. He has only to come in. Tell him, will you? Please?”

She went stony, guarded. “I…haven’t seen him, m’lord.”

“But you might.”

She tossed her head. “So? I might not.” Her eyes shifted to Pym and away, as if the sight of him burned. The silver Vorkosigan logos embroidered on Pym’s collar gleamed in the twilight like animal eyes, moving only with his breathing. Karal was now bringing lighted lamps onto the porch, but keeping his distance still.

“Ma’am,” said Miles tightly. “The Count my father has ordered me to investigate the murder of your granddaughter. If your son means so much to you, how can his child mean so little? Was she…your first grandchild?”

Her face was sere. “No, lord. Lem’s older sister, she has two.
They’re
all right,” she added with emphasis.

Miles sighed. “If you truly believe your son is innocent of this crime, you must help me prove it. Or—do you doubt?”

She shifted uneasily. There was doubt in her eyes—she didn’t know, blast it. Fast-penta would be useless on her, for sure. As Miles’s magic wonder drug, much counted-upon, fast-penta seemed to be having wonderfully little utility in this case so far.

“Come away, Ma,” the young man urged again. “It’s no good. The mutie lord came up here for a killing. They have to have one. It’s a show.”

Damn straight,
thought Miles acidly. He was a perceptive young lunk, that one.

Ma Csurik let herself be persuaded away by her angry and embarrassed son plucking at her arm. She paused on the steps, though, and shot bitterly over her shoulder, “It’s all so easy for you, isn’t it?”