Seth (11 page)

“Geeze, that almost sounds like-”

“A family.” Seth finishes.

“But
I’m
Caleb’s real family and there’s nothing I
wouldn’t…”

I am incapable of finishing that sentence ‘cause I’m not
sure it would be the truth. In fact I’m sure it wouldn’t be true. Ten years ago
I would have done anything for Caleb but I just don’t feel the same way. And
here’s a bunch of guys who’ve only known my brother for a few years and they’re
more committed to him than I am. Seth claims he would do anything for my
brother and I believe him one hundred percent and until I can say the same how
can I call myself a big sister? I hate to admit it, but I have failed Caleb.

“So why the guns and drugs?” I ask. “And what do you
actually do here on this earth that makes your existence here worth the space
you take up on this overcrowded green and blue ball? All I see is a bunch of
guys who’ll do just about anything to make money and anything to protect that
way of making money. Tell me I’m wrong.” I challenge.

“I prefer to show you.” He says. “Have you ever been on a
motorcycle?”

“Hell no!”

“Well let me expand your horizons then.”

He gets up and reaches in his pocket before he realizes
he doesn’t have any money on him. He opens his mouth to ask and I drop two
twenties on the table before he can ask. Not knowing what else to do I follow
him out of the restaurant. He leads me outside before he remembers his
motorcycle has been retrieved by his brothers and is sitting in his driveway at
home.

“Look,” He says. “I wanna take you somewhere on my bike
but-”

“It’s at the clubhouse.” I conclude for him.

“Actually one of my brothers brought it back to my house.
You think you could take me home?”

I nod my head. “Sure, why not?”

Twenty minutes later he’s astride a giant shiny black
beast waiting for me to get on. I take a deep breath and do as he has
instructed. I put my left foot on the rear peg, stand up and swing my right leg
over the bike where I settle down behind Seth. That wasn’t too bad.

“Reach your arms around my waist and do not let go; ever!
Even if we slow down you never know if I’ll have to suddenly hit the gas to
avoid an accident or something. I don’t want you landing on your ass somewhere
on the road.”

“Yeah I kinda like my ass. I really don’t want to leave
half of it on the pavement.”

“Hang on then and don’t let go until we’re parked and the
engine is off.”

“Got it.”

I squeeze tighter than is probably necessary but I’m
super nervous to be on a motorcycle for the first time. To his credit he eases
slowly out of the parking lot of the diner and into the flow of traffic. The
first thing I notice is how close the road is to my feet. It’s like…less than a
foot and the speed of the ground passing beneath my feet is both frightening
and exhilarating at the same time. I can see how when you get over your fear,
this could be really fun! I like the feel of the cool wind as it works its way
into my jacket and up and down my arms and neck. I’m tempted to lift my
helmet’s face mask to let the wind on my face but I remember his admonition and
keep my arms fast around his waist. When he pulls onto the freeway I get
nervous all over again. We’re probably only going sixty or seventy miles an
hour but if looks and feels more like a hundred! After about twenty minutes or
so he pulls off the highway and into the town of Dinuba, California. I’m not
too familiar with this town and I have no clue as to why we’re here. Almost
immediately after he gets on the main surface roads we’re joined by three
bikers wearing some other cut. Instantly my adrenaline starts pumping! Oh my
god, these guys are going to attack Seth. How the hell could he have brought me
here?

I watch as one biker positions himself on our left and
another on our right. The other biker rides up front about five feet in front
of us and it’s beginning to look like an escort actually. I’m about to breath a
huge sigh of relief when I see the expression on the guys face to my right.
It’s definitely not friendly. Judging by his face I’d say that we’re being led
into an ambush!

We go for another mile or two before we take a left turn
and in the process pick up two more escorts; another in front and one just off
our back wheel. What the fuck is this? This is not what I expected from our
visit this afternoon. Seth keeps on driving for another couple miles before we
slow down and he signals that we’re entering the parking lot of a large
building that looks like a cross between a church and an old school. Seth takes
us right up to the front of the building and as he prepares to park our escorts
magically fade away and are soon completely vanished!

I don’t even wait for the bike to stop running before I’m
ripping off my helmet (Ouch!) and climbing off his bike.

“What the hell was that?” I bark.

“Just a sign of respect.” He replies calmly.

“Respect? Are you freaking kidding me? I saw the look on
one of those dudes’ faces and it wasn’t respect. It was more like I wish I
could beat your ass!”

“You can be respected in two ways Kim. People will either
respect you out of love, or fear. My brothers in the MC respect me out of love;
well mostly. The dudes you saw today, they respect me out of fear and that’s
why we were, and are perfectly safe.”

“I don’t know Seth…I saw that guy’s face and I think
you’re putting way too much emphasis on respect. I think I saw hate and sometimes
that emotion can be a lot stronger than respect.”

“I know my business darlin’ and you got nothing to worry
about. If I thought there was even a tiny chance that this could go sideways I
wouldn’t have brought you here today or any other day for that matter.”

“So…you brought me to a church?”

“I brought you to my home Kim. This is where I lived from
the age of seven till I graduated from high school.”

“Holy crap, this is an orphanage then?”

“Basically yes…it’s an orphanage and this is where a lot
of the club’s money ends up.”

Wow… I’m actually beginning to…to think differently about
Seth and his club. He leads me up a set of marble steps and to a pair of large
double doors. He pushes them open and we walk into a large entrance. Off to
both sides are doors, presumably to offices. Seth opens one and we both walk
into a medium sized office with a large desk along one wall. Behind the desk is
a woman wearing what I think is a habit. She immediately gets up and comes
around her desk where she gives Seth a bear hug.

“And who is your friend?” She asks.

“This is my…friend Kim.”

“So nice to meet you Kim.” She replies. “We weren’t
expecting you for another week. Is everything okay Seth?”

“Things are great actually.” He replies. “Is she here?”
Seth asks mysteriously.

“We notified her the moment you spotted. One of the
sisters will come and get you when she’s ready to receive you.”

“Thank you.” Seth replies.

He takes me to an inner courtyard with a spectacular
fountain in the middle. It’s a statue of a lone warrior dressed in leather like
armor bearing a circular shield and a short sword. He’s raised his shield as a
tiny barrier between himself and some kind of dragon. The cruel beast is
situated to where his tail is actually starting to curl around the young man’s waist.
The Dragon’s body is in a kind of C shape with his head about a foot from the
warrior’s shield. A huge burst of flames shoots from the Dragon’s mouth but the
warrior and the shield holds fast as the flames strike it and are repelled.

Looking up I am amazed at the level of detail in the
sculpture. The piece is so dynamically fluid I could almost swear it’s actually
moving. The sprays of water add to the spectacular imagery and the whole effect
is dazzling. I am so completely lost in the view I fail to notice the approach
of a very old woman. She is dressed in white robes and her silver long flowing
hair gives her this angelic look. Seth immediately gets up and hurries to her
side, slipping his arm in hers for support.

“Nana you shouldn’t have come. I would have gone to your
bedside.”

She pats his arm in a grandmotherly way and allows
herself to be led to the edge of the fountain where they take a seat beside me.

“Kim this is my surrogate grandmother Celia. Nana this is
my friend Kim.”

I reach out and shake the frail woman’s hand and nearly
wince as my hand is caught in her vice like grip.

“Just a friend?” She asks.

“Yes ma’am.” I reply.

“Well clearly my eyesight is failing me if you two don’t
see the same thing I see in your eyes.”

“I don’t understand.” I begin. “What do you mea-”

“It’s just an old woman babbling.” Seth clarifies.

“Yes, he is of course correct.” Celia says.

“Now wait a second.” I object. “She obviously sees
something and I want to know what it is.”

Seth actually rolls his eyes and starts to say something
but his Nana holds up her hand to forestall any further reaction on his part.
I’m glad because I want to hear what she has to say.

“What do you see ma’am?” I ask reverently.

“You’re not going to want to hear this.” She says.

“I don’t care.”

“You call each other just friends, but when you look at
Seth your eyes all but are screaming something else entirely. You two make a
big show of not looking at each other and not touching one another but the real
story is in your eyes.” Then she turns back to Seth. “So what’s the story here
Seth?”

“There’s nothing going on here?” I object. I open my
mouth to expound on that then I remember who it is I’m talking to; a sweet old
woman who must certainly be in her late eighties or early nineties.

This talk about something going on between us is
unsettling and I’m afraid, right on the money. There’s just something about him
that gets under my skin, only in a good way. If I wasn’t already dating a
member of the law enforcement community I might be curious about seeing if
something would actually develop between the two of us. The second that thought
is out of my mouth so to speak I know I’m full of shit. On one level or another
I have been pining away for Seth ever since we first met. Seth chooses to ignore
his Nana and asks about her health.

“I don’t have much time left Seth.” She replies.

“You shouldn’t have come out here Nana,” he chides. “You
have to save your strength.”

“Oh really?” She replies with a smile. “What is it I am
supposed to be saving my strength for?”

“You know what I mean.” He says.

There’s something about the way he talks to her. It’s not
what he’s saying, it’s the tone of voice, the utmost reverence he holds for
this white haired angel. Clearly she means a great deal to him.

“I don’t know how many trips to the fountain I have
left.” She says. “So when it’s an extraordinary beautiful day as this, or I
have such an esteemed visitor I make the effort. Pretty soon I won’t be leaving
my room regardless.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.” He says.

“You’ll soon be on your own dear and I won’t be here to
keep you grounded. What are you going to do then?” She asks.

“I don’t know. I’ve always depended on your input in my
life. You’re the one who has kept me from going off the deep end Nana. You have
always reined me in and called me on my shit. No one else ever does that for
me.”

“I think maybe there’s someone else ready to take those
reigns over.” She says to him. “And I’m certainly ready to hand them over.”

If she’s talking about me she’s got Alzheimer’s disease
and it’s really advanced. One thing’s for sure though - for the first time I
see Seth in a different light. Right now he’s not the outlaw biker I know. This
is a completely different side to him. I guess what they say is true. Every
person has the capability for evil and good and it’s which side we choose that
defines us. There’s something else I am noticing. Despite Seth’s amazing good
looks, he’s always had this hardness about him. It’s not only the way he looks
or carries himself, but it’s just this whole…vibe, if you will, that screams
this is a hard man. But the longer the two of them converse, I can see the
steel edges of the man soften. The sharp corners of his personality begin to
ware down and take on a softer edge. Not only is his voice different, it’s the
way he’s holding himself. Anywhere else and he looks like a panther ready to
pounce. He’s a man that is impossible to sneak up on and he’s always ready for
a fight; just like the animal in the wild. But sitting here with his Nana he
has softened to a point he almost has this boyish look about him. His
mannerisms have softened and he doesn’t move like he’s about to attack. Maybe
some of it has to do with the place we’re at. In here is probably the only
place in the whole world where he feels safe. But I know that’s not all of it.
I get the idea that this is the woman who raised him. Maybe he didn’t have the
male influence in his home just like my brother didn’t either. I think everyone
who joins a motorcycle club, an outlaw one especially, come for a lot of the
same reasons. It’s what helps them bond so closely. They’re all peas of the
same pod so to speak.