Sewn with Joy (19 page)

Joy smiled as they neared. “Ladies, welcome. My
mem
and
sister are both here. I hope you're hungry. My
mem
made three coffee cakes.” Joy laughed and then hurried them toward the house. She turned her head and looked up and down the road before she opened the door. Was she worried about who saw them enter? Alicia had heard rumors that many in the Amish community were not pleased they were here. But if there were any worries, Joy quickly brushed them away with a smile.

Alicia stepped inside and breathed in the aroma of cinnamon and cake. The living room was small but neat, and it opened up into a kitchen. When they had all entered the living room, an older man sat on a sofa, wearing an oxygen tank. He struggled to rise and then sat back down again. As the Amish woman welcomed the other ladies, Alicia strode over to the man.

“Oh, you must be Joy's father.” She extended her hand, and he shook it. “I have to say, if your wife's coffee cake tastes as good as it smells, I have a big decision to make.”

His eyes were bright, and he seemed pleased to be acknowledged. “Oh, what's that?”

“The problem is whether to have Joy measure my waist before or after I enjoy some cake. I have a feeling that if I have one piece I won't want to stop.”

The man patted his thin stomach. “Oh, I'm supposed to be fattening myself up. I used to be as skinny as a beanpole before marriage. And as each of my five daughters has learned how to cook, I gained a few more pounds. Now they say I'm too thin again. I suppose I won't be able to win this one. But maybe since I just got this oxygen tank they'll feel sorry for me and give me two pieces.”

They chatted for a little longer, yet even as Alicia talked, she also paid attention to the women chatting in the kitchen. She zeroed in on the cadence of the Amish words and their focus on
their guests. If she had any worries that the actresses weren't welcome to this home, they quickly vanished.

They sat down to coffee cake first, and then each woman went into Joy's room to be discreetly measured for the dresses. Alicia paused as she stepped into the bedroom. It was as small as her closet back home, with two twin beds on metal frames. There was a quilt and a pillow on each bed. A table between the beds had a lamp and a few books. The closet door was open, and a few dresses were neatly hung.

Alicia packed more when she went away for the weekend than what was in that closet. An uneasiness stirred within as she realized she probably also spent more at Starbucks and on gourmet snacks than these women earned in a month.

When they were finished with the measurements, Alicia followed Joy to the kitchen. Julie was sipping on an orange punch as she chatted with Joy's mother. “It's so strange that you haven't heard of Alicia before. She's been on the cover of
People
a dozen times.”

“And most of them were positive headlines,” Olivia commented as she accepted another piece of cake. “But as my mother always said, ‘A good reputation is more valuable than money.' Thankfully Alicia was one of the best-paid—”

A jab to Olivia's ribs by Kristen stopped the woman's words, and her eyes darted to the hallway for the first time, realizing Alicia was there.

Alicia's heart pounded as if each of the woman's accusatory words was being pounded into her chest with a hammer.
A good reputation
. She tried to forget that she didn't have one, but comments like these reminded her of her personal failure. A failure that made the headlines of most of the popular magazines.

“Good thing Hollywood is quick to forget. The latest scandal
helps us forget the old ones, doesn't it?” Kristen said, attempting to sugarcoat the situation, but before she could continue, Joy's mother jumped in. She tapped the top of her
kapp
and then fixed her eyes on Olivia.

“We have a saying too, and I first heard it from my mother.” The plump older woman cleared her throat. “Instead of putting others in their place, put yourself in their place.” She pressed her hands on her apron and sighed. “It's hard to truly understand what someone else is going through unless you walk in their shoes.”

Olivia's smile slipped from her face, and Alicia put a hand over her mouth to hide the smile. She never expected that. The woman's words touched her, especially considering that they'd just met.

Then the older Amish woman scanned the other shocked faces, pausing on each one. Finally, she turned her attention to Alicia. “I'm not sure why folks pay good money to read bad news. I just know it hurts plenty when it's you everyone's wagging their tongues about. And truly the only One we should be concerned about meddling in our business is our good Lord. Because His meddling isn't for the sake of harm, but always good.”

Alicia nodded, although she wasn't sure if the woman's words made her feel better or worse. She knew the Amish believed God allowed both bad and good into one's life for His greater purposes, but what if you caused the greatest harm yourself?

She straightened her shoulders and strode into the kitchen, attempting to act as if Olivia's words hadn't just cut to her core. “If we're done, then I think we should get back to the set. Rowan asked that we try not to take too long.”

The women thanked their host and gladly accepted the paper plates with coffee cake Joy's sister Faith passed out to each one.

As she stood just outside the front door in a summer dress,
with a plate of coffee cake in hand, Alicia felt like a different woman living in a different time. She hadn't checked her cell phone once inside, and she hadn't missed it. Joy and her family paid attention in ways that most people Alicia knew didn't. They didn't just make small talk to pass the time until they moved on to the next thing. Instead, they seemed to really listen, really care.

Joy stood next to her with her hand resting on the door frame. “We'll do our best to get all the dresses done in a few days.”

“A few days?” Kristen brushed her long, black hair over the back of her shoulder. “You can really get them done that fast?”

“Well, we don't sew them by hand.” Joy pointed inside to the sewing machine in the living room. “The only things we sew by hand are quilts. And even then we do the piecing on the machine to save time.”

“Thank you for helping.” Alicia stepped closer to Joy. Then she turned to her mother. “And thank you for…your kind words.”

As the others exited, Joy's mother patted Alicia's hands. “Remember, no matter what I've done, what you've done, Jesus wants you to know you can go to Him. I've never read a gossip magazine and I never will, but don't trust the words of others over the words of God.”

Alicia nodded, and the words gave her a bit of peace even if they sounded impossible to follow. That's what her life was about, wasn't it? Pleasing others, being rated in movies. Being commented about at red-carpet events and being photographed looking less than her best on Starbucks runs. An actress's job was to be appraised and bid on one day and rejected and overlooked the next. Could she really trust what God said over what people did? And what exactly would God say about her? With the road Alicia had walked—especially in the last year—she didn't want to know.

“The cake was delicious. I can't wait to enjoy more tonight.”

Joy's mother chuckled. “Good. And remember, when you get your dresses, if they don't fit just right we can help you out.”

The group of women left with a chorus of thanks, but the walk back to the set was quiet. Was Olivia worried she'd tell Rowan what she'd said? A few years ago she probably would have. But now Alicia didn't have the strength to get involved in an on-set feud. It's not as if anything she said wasn't the truth. Everyone, she supposed, wondered how things would turn out behind the scenes. Even though no one wanted to talk about the past, it had followed her and Rowan onto the set. Like an invisible gorilla, it sat in the middle of the room. She just hoped the beast would stay contained until their shooting was done. Not for her sake, but for Rowan's. She'd dragged his name through the mud with her the last time. And the last thing he needed was for her to do it again.

 

Streusel Coffee Cake

1 cup butter

1½ cups sugar

3 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

¾ cup buttermilk (or sour milk)

2½ cups all-purpose flour

½ teaspoon baking soda

½ teaspoon baking powder

½ teaspoon salt

Streusel Topping

1 cup brown sugar

4 tablespoons all-purpose flour

2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

3 tablespoons butter, melted

½ cup chopped nuts (optional)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cream butter and sugar; add eggs one at a time. Add vanilla and sour milk. Stir in dry ingredients. Put half of the dough in a greased 9 by 13-inch pan. Mix together streusel topping in a separate bowl. Sprinkle half of the streusel topping mix on the dough, then repeat layers. Bake for 1 hour.

Eighteen

Bibles that are coming apart usually belong to people who are not.

A
MISH PROVERB

A
licia sat on the balcony and listened to the waves rolling in. Seagulls cried out as they dipped and rose on the ocean breezes, almost dancing on the invisible currents. The air was chilling today, and a slight mist touched her face. Alicia wasn't sure if the mist fell from the gray clouds above, which had swept in last night and still lingered, or if it blew off the expansive ocean beyond her.

She pulled the plush blanket tight around her and gazed out at the rising sun. She needed to finish getting ready. Her car would be here in less than fifteen minutes, but she needed to clear her thoughts first. She'd brought out her journal and a pen, but for the last thirty minutes she hadn't been able to figure out what to write. Then she knew. She had to write the truth, even though the words would be hard to get down.

I've read some of the commentaries about me being cast for this show. I've played both prisoners and spies, and I have a mean sweeping kick if I say so myself. The role itself doesn't bother me. My real personality is closer to
this Amish woman's character than most of the roles I've played, but what's worrying me most is the internal struggle. The Amish live the way they do because they believe God has asked them to live separate from the world. So the basis of all they do is centered on God. Which means I have to think about Him.

For most of my life it's been easier not to think about Him. Because to think about Him means I know He's thinking about me. I hate to think of what God thinks of me—especially after all I've done. Good thing I'm an actress. This might be my biggest challenge yet. Acting as if my life is committed to God while at the same time not wanting to think about Him so much.