Sex, Marriage and Family in World Religions (51 page)

I.6.1. The father may give away his daughter (to the bridegroom) with a libation of water, after adorning her with ornaments. Such a marriage is called
Brahma¯.

A son born of this marriage purifies twelve descendants and twelve ancestors on both sides. The father may give away his daughter to a priest, having adorned her with ornaments, while a sacrifice with the three
sŕauta
fires is going on. This marriage is called
Daiva.
The son born of this marriage purifies seven descendants and seven ancestors on both sides. If the bride and bridegroom observe the nuptial rites together, the marriage is called
Praja¯patya.
The son born of this marriage purifies eight descendants and eight ancestors on both sides.

If the father of the girl receives a bull and a cow from the bridegroom, for giving away the girl, the marriage is called
A¯rs
.
a.
A son born of this marriage purifies seven descendants and seven ancestors on both sides.

If the bridegroom marries her after entering into mutual contract it is called
Ga¯ndharva
marriage. If the bridegroom marries her after satisfying her father with money this sort of marriage is called
A¯sura
.

If he carries off the girl while her kinsmen are asleep or inattentive, the marriage is called
Paisća¯ca
. If he carries off the girl after killing her relatives, cutting their heads, while she weeps and they weep, the sort of marriage is called
Ra¯ks
.
asa.

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I.7.1. Now, indeed, different are the customs of different countries and villages. He should observe those at the wedding.

2. What, however, is common to all the countries and villages we shall state.

3. He should place to the west of fire a stone and a water-vessel to the north-east. He should sacrifice while the bride takes hold of him. He should stand with his face turned to the west, while she sits with her face turned to the east.

With the formula, “I take hold of thy hand for the sake of pleasure,” he should grasp her thumb if he longs that only male issues be born to him.

4. If he desires only female issues he should catch hold of her fingers alone.

5. If he desires both male and female issues, he should seize her hand on the hair-side, together with the thumb.

6. He should lead her thrice round the nuptial fire and the water-jar so that their right sides are turned to the fire. He should murmur: “This am I, that art thou. That art thou, this am I; the heaven I, the earth thou; the Sa¯man [song]

I, the R.k [chant] thou. We shall marry here; we shall produce children. Loving, bright, and kind-hearted, may we live a hundred years.”

7. Each time after he has taken the bride round the fire, he makes her ascend the stone reciting the formula: “Ascend on this stone; be firm like a stone, suppress the enemies, tread the enemies down.”

8. The bridegroom should pour butter over the hands of the bride while either her brother or a substitute for her brother should pour fried grain twice over the joined hands of the bride.

9. Thrice, as it is customary among the descendants of Jamadagni.

10. He should pour butter again over the sacrificial food.

11. And over what has been cut off.

12. This is the rule about the portions to be cut off.

13. “For god Aryaman the girls have offered oblations to Agni. May he, god Aryaman, release her from this and not from that place, Sva¯ha¯.

For god Varun.a the girls have offered oblations to Agni. May he, god Varun.a, release her from this and not from that place, Sva¯ha¯.

For god Pu¯s.an the girls have offered oblations to Agni. May he, god Pu¯s.an, release her from this and not from that place, Sva¯ha¯!”

With these verses she should offer the fried grain without opening her joined hands as if she did so with the spoon—
sŕuk.

14. Without taking her round the fire, she offers grain from the neb [tip] of a basket towards herself, silently a fourth time.

15. Some take the bride round the fire each time after the fried grain has been poured out. Thus, the two last oblations do not immediately succeed each other.

16. He then unties two locks of her hair if they are made.

17. If the two tufts of wool are tied round her hair on the two sides, he should release the right tuff first with the following: “I release thee from the noose of Varuna.”

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18. Next he should release the left tuft with the following: [“I release thee from the noose of Varuna.”]

19. He then makes her walk seven steps in the north-eastern direction with the following formula: “For food with one step, for juice with two steps, for the increase of wealth with three steps, for comfort and welfare with four steps, for offspring with five steps, for the seasons with six steps. Be friend with seven steps. Be thou devoted to me. May we acquire many sons who may reach old age.”

20. The priest then joins their heads together and sprinkles them with water from the water-jar.

21. The bride should live that night in the house of an aged Bra¯hmana woman whose husband is alive and whose children are alive.

22. When she sees the polar star, the star Arundhatı¯ and the seven sages (ursha major) she should break silence and say: “May my husband live long and may I get children.”

I.8.1. When the newly-wedded couple set out on journey, let the bridegroom help her ascend the chariot with the verse, “May Pu¯s.an take thee from here grasping thy hand.”

2. With the hemistich, “carrying stones, the river flows, hold fast together”

he should make her ascend a ship.

3. With the following hemistich [half-line] let him make her descend from it.

4. If she weeps, he should speak the verse, “the living one they lament.”

5. They carry the wedding fire in front always.

6. At auspicious places, trees and cross-ways he should murmur: “May no robbers meet us.”

7. At each and every abode on the way he should look at the seers and murmur the following verse: “Good fortune brings this woman.”

8. He should make her enter the house with the verse: “Here may thy pleasure increase along with offspring.”

9. He should set up the nuptial fire (at his dwelling place) and then spread, to the west of it, a hide of the bull with its neck to the east, with the hair outside.

He should then offer oblations to the fire while she sits on that hide and takes hold of him. He should murmur the following four verses: “May Prajapati create offering to us” and after each verse offer oblations. And with the verse “May all the gods unite” he partakes of curds and gives a portion thereof to her, or he besmears his as well as her heart with the rest of the
A¯jya.

10. From that time onward, they should not eat saline food, they should observe chastity, decorate their person and sleep on the ground.

11. They should observe this rule for three nights or twelve nights after the performance of sacrifice on entering the house.

12. Or for one year, according to some teachers. Thus a sage will be born to them.

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13. When he has fulfilled this vow, he should give the bridal dress to the Ba¯hmana who knows the Su¯rya¯ hymn [
Rig Veda
10.85 above].

14. He should give food to the Bra¯hmanas.

15. He should cause the Bra¯hmanas to recite
svastyayana
hymn.

I.9.1. Beginning from the wedding he should worship the domestic fire himself, or his wife or also his son or his daughter or his pupil.

2. The fire should be kept without break.

3. If it goes out, the wife should fast. Thus say some teachers.

4. The rules in regard to this are the same as in the Agni-hotra.

5. The time for blazing the fire and for sacrificing in it has already been explained.

6. The sacrificial food should not contain meat.

7. If he likes he may perform the sacrifice with rice, barley, and sesamum.

8. He should sacrifice in the evening with the formula “To Agni, Sva¯ha¯”; in the morning with the formula “To Su¯rya, Sva¯ha¯.” He should offer the second oblation both times.

[As´vala¯yana Gr.hyasu¯tra I.5–9, The Wedding Ceremony, in
Asvalayana Grhyasutram,
trans. Narendra Nath Sharma (Delhi: Eastern Book Linkers, 1976), pp. 148–153]

LAWS OF MANU

The
Laws of Manu
(ca. 100 bce–200 ce) has been a preeminent authority on
dharma
from as early as the third century ce. The text is presented as the teachings received by Manu from the Creator on what actions are appropriate under a vast number of circumstances, with particular instructions for persons of various classes, stages of life, family relations, occupations, and genders in both normal and extraordinary situations. Manu’s treatise is not a set of commandments, but rather a description of various actions and their consequences.

It reflects the perspective of the Brahmin class and attends primarily to the actions appropriate to twice-born Hindus. Manu takes up the subject of marriage at considerable length, addressing the duties of husbands and wives, how marriage arrangements should be conducted, and the benefits and distresses marriage brings when its obligations are followed or neglected.

Document 4–3

l a w s o f m a n u , o n t h e d u t i e s o f h u s b a n d s a n d w i v e s [3.1] The vow for studying the three Vedas with a guru is for thirty-six years, or half of that, or a quarter of that, or whenever the undertaking comes to an end.

[2] When, unswerving in his chastity, he has learned the Vedas, or two Vedas, or even one Veda, in the proper order, he should enter the householder stage of life. [3] When he is recognized as one who has, by fulfilling his own duties, received the legacy of the Veda from his father, he should first be seated on a
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couch, adorned with garlands, and honoured with (an offering made from the milk of) a cow.

[4] When he has received his guru’s permission and bathed and performed the ritual for homecoming according to the rules, a twice-born man should marry a wife who is of the same class and has the right marks [physical char-acteristics]. [5] A woman who is neither a co-feeding relative on her mother’s side nor belongs to the same lineage (of the sages) on her father’s side, and who is a virgin, is recommended for marriage to twice-born men. [6] When a man connects himself with a woman, he should avoid the ten following families, even if they are great, or rich in cows, goats, sheep, property, or grain: [7] a family that has abandoned the rites, or does not have male children, or does not chant the Veda; and those families in which they have hairy bodies, piles, consumption, weak digestion, epilepsy, white leprosy, or black leprosy.

[8] A man should not marry a girl who is a redhead or has an extra limb or is sickly or has no body hair or too much body hair or talks too much or is sallow; [9] or who is named after a constellation, a tree, or a river, or who has a low-caste name, or is named after a mountain, a bird, a snake, or has a menial or frightening name. [10] He should marry a woman who does not lack any part of her body and who has a pleasant name, who walks like a goose or an elephant [that is, gracefully], whose body hair and hair on the head is fine, whose teeth are not big, and who has delicate limbs. [11] A wise man will not marry a woman who has no brother or whose father is unknown, for fear that she may be an appointed daughter or that he may act wrongly.

[12] A woman of the same class is recommended to twice-born men for the first marriage; but for men who are driven by desire, these are the women, in progressively descending order: [13] According to tradition, only a servant woman can be the wife of a servant; she and one of his own class can be the wife of a commoner; these two and one of his own class for a king; and these three and one of his own class for a priest. [14] Not a single story mentions a servant woman as the wife of a priest or a ruler, even in extremity. [15] Twice-born men who are so infatuated as to marry women of low caste quickly reduce their families, including the descendants, to the status of servants. [16] A man falls when he weds a servant woman, according to Atri and to (Gautama) the son of Utathya, or when he has a son by her, according to Sáunaka, or when he has any children by her, according to Bhr.gu [other authorities on
dharma
].

[17] A priest who climbs into bed with a servant woman goes to hell; if he begets a son in her, he loses the status of priest. [18] The ancestors and the gods do not eat the offerings to the gods, to the ancestors, and to guests that such a man makes with her, and so he does not go to heaven. [19] No redemption is prescribed for a man who drinks the saliva from the lips of a servant woman or is tainted by her breath or begets a son in her. . . .

[45] A man should have sex with his wife during her fertile season, and always find his satisfaction in his own wife; when he desires sexual pleasure he should 242

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go to her to whom he is vowed, except on the days at the (lunar) junctures [when abstinence is required]. [46] The natural fertile season of women is traditionally said to last for sixteen nights, though these include four special days [of the menstrual period] that good people despise. [47] Among these (nights), the first four, the eleventh, and the thirteenth are disapproved; the other ten nights are approved. [48] On the even nights, sons are conceived, and on the uneven nights, daughters; therefore a man who wants sons should unite with his wife during her fertile season on the even nights. [49] A male child is born when the semen of the man is greater (than that of the woman), and a female child when (the semen) of the woman is greater (than that of the man); if both are equal, a hermaphrodite is born, or a boy and a girl; and if (the semen) is weak or scanty, the opposite will occur. [50] A man who avoids women on the (six) disapproved nights and on eight other nights is regarded as chaste, no matter which of the four stages of life he is in.