Sex, Marriage and Family in World Religions (53 page)

[55] This is the law for the offspring of cows and mares, slave girls, female camels, and she-goats, and birds, and female buffalo. [56] The significance and
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insignificance of the seed and the womb have thus been proclaimed to you.

After that I will explain the law for dealing with women when one is in extremity. [57] The wife of the elder brother is the guru’s wife to the younger brother; but the wife of the younger brother is traditionally regarded as the daughter-in-law to the elder brother. [58] If, when he is not in extremity, an elder brother has sex with the wife of a younger brother, or a younger brother with the wife of an elder brother, both of them fall even if they have been appointed (to have a child). [59] When the line of descendants dies out, a woman who has been properly appointed should get the desired children from a brother-in-law or a co-feeding relative.

[60] The appointed man, silent and smeared with clarified butter, should beget one son upon the widow in the night, but never a second. [61] Some people who know about this approve of a second begetting on (such) women, for they consider the purpose of the appointment of the couple incomplete in terms of duty. [62] But when the purpose of the appointment with the widow has been completed in accordance with the rules, the two of them should behave towards one another like a guru and a daughter-in-law. [63] If the appointed couple dispense with the rule and behave lustfully, then they both fall as violators of the bed of a daughter-in-law and a guru.

[64] Twice-born men should not appoint a widow woman to (have a child with) another man, for when they appoint her to another man they destroy the eternal religion.

[65] The appointment of widows is never sanctioned in the Vedic verses about marriage, nor is the remarriage of widows mentioned in the marriage rules. [66]

For learned twice-born men despise this as the way of animals, which was prescribed for humans as well when Vena was ruling the kingdom. [67] Formerly, he was a preeminent royal sage who enjoyed the whole earth, but his thinking was ruined by lust and he brought about a confusion of the classes. [68] Since that time, virtuous men despise any man who is so deluded as to appoint a woman to have children when her husband has died. [69] If the (intended) husband of a girl dies when their promises have been given verbally, her own brother-in-law should take possession of her, according to this rule: [70] when she is wearing a white dress and has made an unpolluted vow, he should have sex with her in accordance with the rule, and he should make love with her once during each of her fertile seasons, until there is a child. [71] An intelligent man who has given his daughter to someone should not give her again, for a man who gives and then give again is lying to someone. [72] Even if a man has accepted a girl in accordance with the rules, he may reject her if she is despised, ill, or corrupted, or if she was given with something concealed. [73] If anyone gives away a daughter with a flaw and does not mention it, that (gift) from the evil-hearted daughter-giver may be annulled. [74] A man may go away on a journey on business only after he has established a. livelihood for his wife; for even a steady woman could be corrupted if she is starving for lack of livelihood.

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[75] If he goes away on a journey after providing a livelihood, she should subject herself to restraints in her life; but if he goes away on a journey without providing for her, she may make her living by crafts that are not disapproved of. [76] If the man has gone away on a journey to fulfill some duty, (she) should wait for him for eight years; (if he has gone) for learning or fame, six; for pleasure, three years. [77] A husband should wait for one year for a wife who hates him; but after a year, he should take away her inheritance and not live with her. [78] If she transgresses against a husband who is infatuated, a drunk, or ill, he may deprive her of her jewelry and personal property and desert her for three months. [79] But if she hates him because he is insane, fallen, im-potent, without seed, or suffering from a disease caused by his evil, she should not be deserted or deprived of her inheritance.

[80] A wife who drinks wine, behaves dishonestly, or is rebellious, ill, violent, or wasteful of money may be superseded at any time. [81] A barren wife may be superseded in the eighth year; one whose children have died, in the tenth; one who bears (only) daughters, in the eleventh; but one who says unpleasant things (may be superseded) immediately. [82] But if a woman who is kind and well-behaved becomes ill, she should be superseded (only) when she has been asked for her consent, and she should never be dishonoured. [83] And if a woman who has been superseded should leave the house in fury, she should be locked up immediately or deserted in the presence of the family. [84] But if she drinks wine at celebrations, even when she has been forbidden, or goes to public spectacles or crowded festivals, she should be punished by a fine of six “berries.”

[85] If twice-born men take women of their own and other (classes), their seniority, reverence, and dwelling place should be (established) according to the order of their class. [86] For all husbands, a woman of his own (class), and never a woman of his own caste, should care for his body and perform the obligatory daily duties. [87] But if man is so deluded as to have this done by a woman other than the one that he has of his own caste, he is just like someone that people in ancient times regarded as a “Fierce” Untouchable priest. [88] A man should give his daughter, in accordance with the rules, to a distinguished, handsome suitor who is like her, even if she has not reached (the right age).

[89] But it would be better for a daughter, even after she has reached puberty, to stay in the house until she dies than for him ever to give her to a man who has no good qualities.

[90] When a girl has reached puberty she should wait for three years, but after that period she should find a husband like her. [91] If she herself approaches a husband when she has not been given one, she commits no error, nor does the man whom she approaches. [92] A girl who chooses her own bridegroom should not take with her the jewelry given to her by her father, mother, or brothers; if she took that away, she would be a thief. [93] Nor should
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a man who takes away a girl when she has reached puberty give a bride-price to her father; for (the father) would have neglected his charge over her by impeding (the fulfillment of) her fertile seasons. [94] A thirty-year-old man should marry a twelve-year-old girl who charms his heart, and a man of twenty-four an eight-year-old girl; and if duty is threatened, (he should marry) in haste.

[95] A husband takes his wife as a gift from the gods, not by his own wish; he should always support a virtuous woman, thus pleasing the gods. [96]

Women were created to bear children, and men to carry on the line; that is why the revealed canon prescribes a joint duty (for a man) together with his wife. [97] If the man who gave the bride-price should die after the bride-price has been given for the girl, the girl should be given to the brother-in-law, if she consents. [98] Not even a servant should accept a bride-price when he gives his daughter, for a man who takes a bride-price is covertly selling his daughter. [99]

Neither in the ancient past nor in recent times did good men ever promise (a girl) to one man and then give her to another; [100] nor have we heard that, even in former aeons, a daughter was ever covertly sold for a sum of money that was called a bride-price. [101] “Let there be mutual absence of infidelity until death”; this should be known as the supreme duty of a man and a woman, in a nutshell. [102] A man and woman who have performed the (wedding) ritual should always try not to become separated and unfaithful to one another. [103]

The duty of a man and a woman, which is intimately connected with sexual pleasure, has thus been described to you, as well as the way to obtain children in extremity. Now learn about the division of inheritance. [104] After the father and mother (are dead), the brothers should assemble and divide the paternal estate equally, for they have no power over the two of them while they are alive.

[105] But the eldest brother may take the paternal property without leaving anything, and the rest live off him as if he were their father. [106] As soon as his eldest son is born a man becomes a man with a son, and no longer owes a debt to his ancestors; that is why the (the eldest) deserves to have the whole (estate). [107] The son to whom he transfers his debt and by whom he wins eternity is the one born out of duty; people know that the others are born out of desire. [108] The eldest brother should support his younger brothers as a father (supports) his sons, and in duty they should also behave like sons to their eldest brother. [109] The eldest (brother) makes the family thrive, or else he destroys it; the eldest is most worthy of reverence among people; the eldest is not held in contempt by good men.

[110] An eldest (brother) who behaves like an eldest (brother) is like a mother, like a father; but if he does not behave like an eldest (brother) he should be revered like a relative.

[ Laws of Manu 3.1–19, 3.45–63, 5.147–169, 9.1–110, On the Duties of Husbands and Wives, in
The Laws of Manu,
trans. Wendy Doniger and Brian K. Smith (London: Penguin, 1991), pp. 43–45, 47–49, 115–116, 197–210]

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THE
KA¯MASU

¯ TRA

The
Ka¯masu¯tra,
treatise regarding erotic love, was composed in Sanskrit in the third century of the common era, in Northwest India, reputedly by one Vatsya¯yana Mallana¯ga. The text opens with a discussion of how the aims of life, pleasure, success, and virtue, may be achieved. It then focuses on pleasure
(ka¯ma)
with sexual positions, types of women, lovers, wives, co-wives, and courtesans. The
Ka¯masu¯tra
reflects an urbane and sophisticated culture. Like Manu, the
Ka¯masu¯tra
discusses marriage, but from a more secular perspective.

Document 4–4

k a

¯ m a s u

¯ t r a , o n h u s b a n d s , w i v e s a n d l o v e r s [4.1.1] An only wife, with deep, intimate trust, treats her husband like a god and always acts in ways compatible with him. [2] Following his thinking, she takes on herself his cares about the household. [3] She keeps the house clean and heart-warming to look at, with well-polished surfaces, all sorts of floral arrangements, and smooth and shiny floors, and she makes sure that offerings are made three times a day and that the gods in the family shrine are properly honoured.

[4] For, Gonardiya says, “Nothing holds the heart of householders like this.”

[5] She treats the man’s older relatives, servants, sisters, and sisters’ husbands according to their merits. . . .

[11] When she hears his voice outside as he approaches the house, she stands ready in the centre of the house and says, “What should be done?” [12] Pushing aside the female servant, she herself washes his feet. [13] She does not let the man see her alone when she is not wearing make-up and jewellery. [14] If he has spent too much or spent the wrong amount, she tells him in private. [15]

Only with his permission does she go to a betrothal, a wedding, or a sacrifice, or get together with her girlfriends, or visit the gods. [16] In any game, she follows his lead. [17] She lies down after him, gets up before him, and never wakes him up when he is asleep. [18] She keeps the kitchen well guarded and well lit. [19] Mildly offended by the man’s infidelities, she does not accuse him too much, [20] but she scolds him with abusive language when he is alone or among friends. She does not, however, use love-sorcery worked with roots, [21]

for, Gonardiya says, “Nothing destroys trust like that.” [22] She refrains from bad language, nasty looks, talking while avoiding his gaze, standing at the door-way or gazing from it, chatting in the park, and lingering in deserted places.

[23] She guards against her own sweat, dirty teeth, and bad body odour, for these cool his passion. [24] When she goes to him to make love, she wears gorgeous jewellery, a variety of flowers and scented oils, and a dress dazzling with many different tints. [25] Her everyday dress is made of delicate, smooth, thin silk, with a modest amount of jewellery, good perfume but not too much of scented oils, and flowers both white and of other colours. [26] When the
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man fasts or follows a vow, she herself also undertakes this for her own purpose; if he tries to stop her, she refutes his arguments, saying, “I am not going to be thwarted in this matter.”

[27] When the price is right, at the right time, she buys household goods made of clay, bamboo, wood, leather, and iron. [28] She lays in a stock of salt and oil as well as hard-to-get perfumes, spices, and medicines, and keeps them hidden within the house. [29] And she buys, and sows at the proper season, the seeds of all sorts of edible plants, such as radishes, arrowroot, ginger, wormwood, mangoes, melons, cucumbers, eggplants, pumpkins, squashes, round yams, trumpet flowers, horse-eye beans, sesame, sandalwood, glory-tree, garlic, and onions. [30] She does not tell other people about her own assets or about her husband’s counsels. [31] She surpasses all the women of her group in her skill, her dazzling appearance, her cooking, her pride, and her services. [32] She calculates the year’s income and adjusts the expenditure to it. [33] She makes butter from the milk left over from meals, and also from sesame oil and mo-lasses. She spins threads from cotton balls and then weaves cloth with those threads. She collects string-bags, cords, ropes, and bark-fibres; she oversees the grinding and pounding; when rice is boiled, she makes use, afterwards, of the water, the froth, the husks, the uncooked kernels, and the coals. She knows the servants’ wages and maintenance. She sees to the tilling of the fields, the care of the cattle, and the upkeep of the carriages. She looks after the rams, cocks, quails, parrots, pheasants, cuckoos, peacocks, monkeys, and deer. And she prepares the daily portions of income and expenditures.