Sexy Summers (Sexy Series) (4 page)

"Pretty out there, huh?" Luke's sleepy voice brings me back to the now.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, it's gorgeous."

"Like you," he says, patting the bed beside him. I smile and stroll over to sit down on the edge of the bed. "What time is it? We're meeting at nine to go to the ski store for you guys."

"I don't know," I say, standing again to walk around the bed to get my phone. "Oh shit! Luke! It's eleven o'clock!"

"Oh..." he says, rubbing his eyes, "whoops."

"Why didn't anyone come and get me? Or call me?"

"Hey, don't sweat it, let's get ready and go get some breakfast downstairs, then I'll take you to the ski store later."

"Really? Is that okay?"

"Sure it is, hot-lips. So, you wanna shower with me?" he asks, wiggling his eyebrows.
No chance! You'll definitely notice in the shower!
No, I'll get dressed, have breakfast and then sit down and tell him. Yes, that's the new plan.

"No, I'm running myself a bath, I'd like to just get dressed quickly on my own if you don't mind. I'll meet you downstairs." I say, grabbing one of the fluffy towels from the top of the chest of drawers and backing towards the en-suite."

"Sure. See you down there in about half hour."

"Okay. See ya," I say as I enter, close the door and immediately lock it, so I know there's no chance of him seeing my wet, naked, newly pregnant body in broad daylight.

~~~~~~~

Dressed in black snowboarding trousers and a long-sleeved, loosely fitted, grey t-shirt, I make my way down the stairs. Although I'm a skier, rather than a snowboarder, I really liked the look of these trousers, and they cling nicely to my bum. I thought I'd better find something to accentuate a different part of my body, so I could try to conceal my stomach a little easier. And who cares if I don't snowboard? I'm not doing either on this trip so I'm literally wearing them for the sake of it, anyway.

Luke is sitting at the kitchen island when I walk in, looking devilish in his über cool snowboarding gear. Now Luke
is
a snowboarder, he told me all about it in LA, and he looks the part.
Mmm, he looks hot
. The housekeeper I met last night is standing at the hob and she turns to smile at me as I walk in.

"Good morning, ma'am, what can I get you for breakfast?" Before I can answer, Luke looks at me and interrupts.

"Hey Princess, looking
hot!
I'm having eggs Benedict, you want some?"

I turn to the housekeeper, "If you're making eggs Benedict, I'd love some, thank you."

"You want to sit in the dining room? It's all laid out." he asks and I scrunch my nose, shaking my head.

"Naa, too formal, I'll just sit here with you,"
and tell you a big fat secret.

"Cool. You look hot in this, you want me to teach you to snowboard?"
That would have been so much fun. Here you go Til, now's you're opportunity. Go.

"Actually, Luke, I want to talk to you about something."

"Sure, hot-stuff, shoot."

Fuck, fuck, fuck, here we go.
"Well, the thing is... I, um," The housekeeper interrupts, putting our breakfast down in front of us.

"Can I get you a hot drink?" she asks.

"No thank you, this is fine." I want to slap the bitch for making me delay this. Okay, okay, she did just lovingly prepare my favourite breakfast, and I'm being particularly harsh, but I really need to say this, and now I don't want to!

"I'll leave you to eat then, please leave your plates, I'll clear up when you leave."

"Thanks, beautiful," Luke responds with a cheeky grin, and she exits the kitchen, leaving us to finish this awkward conversation.
Yikes
.

"You were saying? You, um?"

"Yes, I, um, I don't really plan on hitting the slopes, while I'm here..."

"Really? Why not? You're in Aspen, baby!"

"Yeah, I know. Look, the others don't know about this. Luke, I need to tell you something."

"Sure, what is it?" He looks at me, concerned; so cute. I know as soon as the words come out of my mouth, this will all change, he won't be caring, jovial, funny-guy-Luke anymore; he'll be cross, he'll be afraid, he'll be out that door in a flash. I can't do it. I can't. Maybe I can sleep with him again, have a bit more of this gorgeous Luke, and then tell him after. But that's
such
a bad idea.
Just do it, you pussy.

"I um, I had an accident last time I went skiing and I really,
really
don't want to do it again."
You fucking wimp, Tilly! But quick thinking; well done for that.

He looks at me, confused, and I want to slap myself.
Idiot!
"Is that all? Shit, Til, must have been bad, you look scared-crazy. You know, if you want, I can take you out, we can take it real slow, get you back in the swing of things?" He puts his hand on my thigh and I hate myself. He's so fucking sweet, and I'm lying to his face, withholding from him the most important information of his life.

"Luke, I don't know how you'll understand without me getting deeper into it, and I don't want to do that. But I
really
can't put a pair of skis on."

"Okay, how about a little fun snowboarding? With me? I'll be gentle, I promise."

I shake my head and he simply nods. "Okay, say no more. Well! This will be fun, we can plan a load of other fun shit to do instead."

God, he has a heart of gold. Yes, he shags a different woman daily, but he openly admits that, and whoever he's with knows the score.

"Luke, that is really so sweet of you, but don't change your plans, I'm happy to chill out around here and go out for walks and stuff. You go and have fun doing what you're supposed to do on a snowboarding holiday."

"No way! Tilly, you can't spend every day on your own, we'll do stuff together, it'll be fun. Just like LA, but with snow..." he pauses for a moment, "you're okay with that though, right? I mean, after all the weird shit that happened before?"

"Luke, I'm going to be totally honest with you, because I know it won't change anything, okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay. At the end of the LA trip, it all got a bit weird and I said we weren't seeing each other again because... well, how do I put this? Um... you like fun, yes?"

"Yeah?"

"And me, too, yes?"

"Okay, yeah..."

"Well, I kind of started liking you. Like, more than 'fun'. And it freaked me out because I don't 'do' relationships, and neither do you, and I really didn't want to end up like Bea and Daniel were at the time, pining for you, with no hope of ever being together. So the easiest thing was to just break away from you and not have to deal with it."

He surprises me, smiling a giant, mischievous, childlike grin. "Tilly..." he sings teasingly, "you totally fell in love with me. You think I'm awesome, you want to be
Mrs. Summers."

I giggle, he's so cute, and funny, and yes, awesome... "You are massively gorgeous and I'm sure girls do fall in love with you, frequently, but no; I wasn't in love with you. I just wanted you. I got jealous at the thought of you with other women, which freaked me out even more because I don't get emotionally attached like that. I'm not telling you this because I want anything to come of it, I just thought maybe you should know why it got weird."

"Totally, I felt like that too, Princess," he says, casually, chewing on some breakfast.

"No, you didn't. You don't need to say that just because I did. I know you're not into it, and honestly neither was I, so it was completely alien for me to feel like that."

"Think what you want, but I don't make shit up. So what does that mean for this vacation? Can we still do stuff and have fun together or what?"

"Yeah, we do have fun, I think I'm ready for another taste of Luke..." I say with a cheeky wink.

"So, are you still jealous at the thought of me and other women?"

"Um... I don't know. I think I've just accepted it, it's who you are and what you do. I know that I left LA and you had a new girl on your arm within a few hours, I'm not daft. I just had so much fun, I wanted to carry on having fun instead of some other girl taking my place. It would fuck me off if you shagged someone while you're having a holiday fling with me though."

"I wouldn't do that, my god, what kind of person do you think I am?" I simply shrug and he smiles slightly before continuing. "I like this, I like that we can just talk like this, totally open, nothing hidden."
Yeah, about that...
"I like you, Til, I like all the stuff we do together, which is weird because most girls bore the hell out of me in five minutes flat. Like I said, we did more than I've done with anyone in a long time. I don't want you fucking other guys either, but hey, I've gotta accept that that happens..." he pauses, "don't I?"

"What?"

"You with other guys."

"Well, I wasn't a virgin when I met you, so... duh."

"That's not really what I meant." he says, putting his knife and fork down on his cleared plate. "Oh, by the way, there was a letter for you on the hearth, did you see it?"

"No?" I put my cutlery down, hop off my stool and head to the fireplace. I don't know how I missed the A4 page, folded in half with 'TILLY' written in massive letters on the front. I open it up.

'
Morning sleepyhead,

As you were both still asleep at ten, we had to go without you. Hope you had a fantastic 'sleep'. Text me if you want to meet up later, we can make another trip to the ski hire place for you. You naughty little minx, didn't take long for you two to find each other ;-) Maybe lock the door next time so I don't have to walk in and see you cuddled up like husband and wife. Very cosy.

Only teasing, can't wait to meet him later,

Love you, Clare.

(Oliver is making me sign his name, too.) And Oliver. Xxx’

Those two need to do it and get it over with.

Luke surprises me suddenly by scooping me into his arms and collapsing on top of me on the giant sofa. I laugh hysterically as he tickles my waist, kissing my neck simultaneously.
No, no! Away from my Wriggler bump!
I squirm underneath him and manage to distract him by hooking my legs around his waist, tightly. He looks at my face, those dimples...

"You know, your ass looks pert as apples in these pants," he says with a grin, "you have a great ass, let me see it."

I laugh, "No! Listen, Luke, can you do me a big favour?" I ask, folding the letter and tossing it on the coffee table that sits between us and the amazing log fire.

"Anything, if you'll show me your sweet ass."

"Okay, I'll show you my '
sweet
ass'
, if you can help me persuade the others to drop the subject, when I tell them I'm not skiing. I really don't want to make a big deal out of it."

"No sweat, sugar-lips, I can do that. Can we act, like, together and all?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know, in LA we were all, like, couples; Danny and Bea, you and me, your sister and Jay. Can we do that here? Then we can say we're doing our own thing, instead of skiing with everyone else."

"Oh okay, good idea," I just know this is going to make everything difficult. I am going to have an amazing time, I'm not going to want to tell him about Wriggler and when I do, I'll end up in love with him, begging him to be the active daddy in our little family. Which is
not
going to happen. I am letting myself have fun with Luke, but I
have
to tell him soon and I
have
to keep my wits about me. Remember the type of man he is, a lovely one, but a ladies' one.
He's not ours, Wriggler, we must remind ourselves regularly. He's not ours.

"You love it." he says, his face closing in on mine.

"Love what?"

"You love acting
together
and all. Admit it, you love me, you want my babies." He kisses my lips softly.

I laugh with him, but also at the irony of it all.
I've already got one of those, darling.
"Yep. I love you, I think we're a match made in heaven, I think we should go and pick out china patterns."

"Sure, baby, and I'll get right on building that picket fence."

"I think it's
you
that loves it,
you
that loves me.
You
want to see me cradling your cute little bubba." I say. And immediately I know that I've gone too far. My heart thumps painfully in my chest, wishing it were true.
Why the fuck did I say that?

Wriggler does some sort of acrobatic manoeuvre, I can feel it,
really
feel it, much more than I have felt before. I desperately want to put my hand to my belly and tell him what's just happened.
Right, that's it. You're telling him. Maybe not right now, but you're telling him. Soon.