Shades of Atlantis (43 page)

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Authors: Carol Oates

BOOK: Shades of Atlantis
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First, I stated, holding up one of my fingers to emphasize the point. You haven’t asked me to marry you. You instructed me to pick a ring. Second — He pursed his lips raising one eyebrow. I held up another finger.

You’re only doing this to keep me with you, when I’m not going anywhere without you anyway. Third —

Caleb opened his mouth to speak, and I paused and glowered at him.

He closed his lips, and his arms dropped by his sides.

 

Third, I lifted another finger, my voice calming. What’s the sudden rush? It won’t change the fact Zeal and Lucien are coming.

Sudden? he exclaimed. His sapphire eyes were cool. You think this is sudden? He placed his hand on my face, cupping my cheek. His skin was soft against mine, and my stomach flipped.

Well — yeah. I was curious about his abrupt change of attitude.

I am acutely aware of every stupid mistake I’ve made with you since the day we met, and yes, I am furious that he would try to steal you from me. I know can be self-righteous, obstinate, and overprotective. Caleb was on a roll again, confessions streaming from him, and his expression grew more sheepish with each word. I was intrigued to know where he was going with all this self-berating. I’ve been struggling with my own fears about what my part in your future is since we discovered who you are, shifting between clinging to you and playing a martyr. I guess I was doing it even before then, if I’m being honest.

His lips pulled back to form an embarrassed smile. He slid his hand under my chin and then stroked the length of my other cheek with the back of his fingers.

I was weak to leave you

Why? I interrupted, a flash of anger rushing through me for an instant.

Why did you leave me, why didn’t you stay, why didn’t you fight for us? Caleb flinched at my choice of words, and I winced, realizing that’s exactly what he had done. He fought his own brother for me. My gaze dropped to the ground. The older woman behind the counter coughed, clearing her throat to gain our attention. I glanced at Caleb from under my eyelashes as he flashed his fiery eyes at her; she was silenced. He leaned toward me so his lips brushed my ear and whispered.

I would have died for you that night, he said. I still would, but when you wanted to die for me — He sighed. I couldn’t allow it. You can’t image the loathing I felt for myself when you said that to Seth, the guilt. I couldn’t bear for you to want to die for me. In that moment I decided the only way to make you safe was if you thought I was dead already. I looked up to search for honesty in his face. It was there in his eyes, the split-second decision he’d made to leave and the crushing regret he’d felt ever since.

Caleb reached behind his back and pulled something from his pocket; it was a slightly tattered envelope, the one from my memory box. He must have taken it out when he was getting his sweatshirt. He smiled an easy relaxed smile. I was surprised to see you never opened this. Do you remember the day I gave it to you?

Of course, I replied incredulously. You called me immature. He chuckled, waving the envelope in front of my face teasingly so I had to pull back a little. You kept talking about what you wanted to be when you grew up. I have never called you immature. I simply told you to open this when you grew up.

Same thing, I grumbled, crossing my arms over my chest like a petulant child. At the same time, my heart began to thunder, remembering how I had stormed out of the car that day and refused to take Caleb’s calls for the two days before he died. He was right; I had been immature. My face burned even more.

It’s not my fault you’re such an old man, I exclaimed much too loudly.

I looked back to the women. The older woman’s eyebrows rose at my comment about the young, bronzed god in front of me.

I thought you would rip it open then and there. Open it, he instructed handing me the envelope. I complied without hesitation, pursing my lips in frustration and almost tearing the slip of paper inside in my haste. Caleb took the envelope from me and crushed it in his fist. I sighed and glanced up at him warily before unfolding the paper.

My suggestion on what you should be:

Be my wife.

My heart thumped even louder and more erratically than before, and my hands trembled on the piece of paper. My eyes met Caleb’s, serious and devastatingly beautiful.

You see, not sudden at all, he said softly. I’ve wanted this from the moment we met. I just wasn’t always confident it could happen. His eyes flickered with shame at his own doubt.

This suddenly all felt very real. My breathing was getting more and more staggered. Caleb took one of my hands and held it in his. I was frozen. He inhaled deeply, looking like he needed to steady himself too.

With what is coming, I can’t make you many promises. But I promise that I will stand by you. I will stand up with you against whatever the future brings, and I promise I will never, ever leave your side again. I know after what I put you through I don’t deserve you, but I’m asking you now. He took another deep breath, and I gulped expectantly. Please say you’ll be my wife. Marry me?

 

My stomach turned over, and my heart seemed to be trying to escape through my ribcage. My hand instinctively flew to my chest as if to hold it there. Caleb waited, his eyes studying my expression, but I really wasn’t sure what it looked like in that moment dazed, maybe? He looked perfect beyond imagination, a demigod standing in front of me holding my hand.

I lifted my hand from my chest to his face; I didn’t care if my heart escaped.

It would never belong to me again. I stroked the warm smooth skin over his defined cheekbone with the back of my fingers and then traced the line of his lips with my thumb. Caleb took a shallow, ragged breath as my hand glided over the skin on his neck, coming to rest on his thundering heart.

His expression started to change, becoming impatient, and I realized that I hadn’t answered not out loud, anyway. I presumed he knew I wouldn’t have the will or the inclination to turn him down. Caleb had promised himself to me, and the thought of it sent hot shivers rushing under my skin.

I watched his jaw clench what was wrong with me? I still hadn’t answered.

I nodded silently, releasing him from the unnecessary anxiety in his eyes, even while my own were brimming over with tears. This incredible being was completely mine at last.

Is that a yes? His lips spread into a hopeful smile.

Yes, I said, nodding again. The unadulterated love I felt for him choked my words.

His whole face lit up with joy. The smile I had longed to see finally appeared again, reaching his eyes, making them burn and shimmer, like blue flames. Caleb swept me into his arms, lifting my feet from the ground, and crushing his lips to mine. The passion-fueled movement of his mouth sent blood rushing to my head and made me dizzy with happiness. I could have sworn I heard a sigh behind us.

Caleb placed me back on the ground, and I staggered a little, overcome by his exuberant kisses. He took my hand and announced to the sales women,

We’re ready now. He pulled me back toward the counter. I presume you’ve already checked out my card, he added curtly, hardly trying to hide the sarcasm in his tone.

I examined the diamonds glittering under the glass and artificially bright lighting, then looked up to Caleb’s eyes, deep pools of blue, burning with emotion. There was no comparison.

You’re going to have to look to pick one, Caleb urged after what seemed like milliseconds. I suspected it was probably longer because my chest ached from all the uneven breathing. He looked like he was trying to hide a grin.

 

Huh? I muttered.

He lifted a hand and placed one finger gently under my chin to turn my face back toward the display case. It was one of the most difficult things I ever had to do in my life so far, ripping my eyes from his gaze in that instant.

I didn’t notice that the older saleswoman had left us again.

Do you know your size? the younger saleswoman asked in a professional voice.

Eh — no, no I don’t.

Well, then, let’s start with that, shall we? Her tone was friendly, but her eyes repeatedly flickered to Caleb when she spoke to me. I grimaced at her as soon as she turned her back.

She used a set of differently sized metal rings to find the correct size for my finger and then went on to take a tray of sparkling diamond rings from the cabinet.

You can have anything at all made into your size, she said courteously.

This is an example of what we have available. Again her eyes found Caleb instead of me.

This girl didn’t know how much she was treading on my nerves. I glanced up to Caleb, but he seemed oblivious, standing close to me with his hand at my back. His face was more at ease than I had ever seen it, a grin still twitching at his lips. I turned my eyes back to the tray, but before I could focus on the diamonds again, I spotted a blue stone glistening on a small silver cushion under the glass the exact color of Caleb’s eyes.

The oval, blue stone sat in a four-pronged setting between two small diamonds. The white metal band was almost as wide as the stone at the top; it tapered and narrowed as it moved away from the stone. The small diamonds were set into triangle shaped indents in the metal on either side, the widest side against the stone. Except for Caleb’s eyes, it was the most stunning thing I had ever seen.

We’ll take that one, I said excitedly.

The young woman’s eyebrows rose for a moment. Would you like to try on a few before making a decision, just to be

I am sure, I cut in. The way she was still gazing at Caleb irritated me.

I had to breathe deeply to keep my temper at bay.

She smiled halfheartedly and reached in to get the ring. I’ll just check the size. She pulled it out and turned over the tiny white label attached to the band and sighed. Wouldn’t you know, it’s your size. She sounded almost disappointed. The Stone of Destiny it is, then.

Excuse me? I asked, perplexed at her easy use of the words I was beginning to dread.

Her eyes darted to me and then back to Caleb. He didn’t return her stare; instead he was fixated on the delicate ring she held in her hands.

It’s a star sapphire set in eighteen carat white gold, she explained, turning the ring slowly so that it caught the light. The diamonds are point two five carats each.

When the light reflected off it, I saw the intersecting lines of occlusions that appeared like a six-rayed star-shaped pattern in the stone.

It’s known as asterism, the saleswoman explained. It’s caused by tita-nium dioxide deposits in the stone. The star sapphire is sometimes called the Stone of Destiny.

I looked up to Caleb, amazed. Was this another coincidence? Caleb looked into my eyes. Sensing I had made my decision, he tightened his hand at my back and smiled before taking the ring from the girl’s hand.

She blushed and looked away when his skin brushed hers. He turned to me, holding the ring in his hand between us. Releasing his hand from my back he looked down and ran his finger tentatively over the blue stone, his expression radiant. When his eyes met mine again, a light seem to be coming from within him. His golden skin appeared to glow. His eyes returned to the stone.

The sapphire symbolizes destiny, the diamonds are a durable representa-tion of love — a love worthy of marriage. It’s also said to protect the wearer from evil spirits, Caleb said, flashing me a knowing look.

I was hardly aware at all now of the young woman still with us. Caleb ran his finger around the delicate band.

The gold is the man’s promise to always take care of his future wife, and the band means never-ending, eternal an eternal love between the giver and the receiver.

My heart began to beat rapidly, and heat coursed through my body as he reached down to raise my left hand. Holding the ring between his thumb and forefinger, he grazed the back of his little finger along the length of the third finger on my hand.

The ancient Egyptians believed the vena amors ran from this finger, the vein directly connecting the finger to the heart, and this — He stared directly into my eyes.

 

My breathing was ragged already, but the intensity in his expression, the adoration that simmered in his eyes, made my breath stop completely.

As he slowly slid the ring onto my finger, he smiled. This is the first step on our walk through life and eternity together. I wasn’t aware I was crying until I heard the strangled sob emanating from my throat. Still holding my hand in one of his, Caleb brushed the tears from my flushed cheeks. I was frozen for a long moment. It was the loud sniffle coming from behind the counter that started my heart beating again. The woman, Lindsey, was also brought to tears by Caleb’s words. I reached my arms behind his neck and pulled myself tightly to him.

I love you, I sobbed into his neck.

I felt his breath in my hair as he answered me. I love you too, forever.

Chapter 16

Lia FAil

The next two days were a strange mixture of stress and comfort. When we returned to the hotel, my brother and my other soon-to-be family members gathered around us. Joshua gave Caleb a very manly hug. Eila offered her congratulations to both of us before placing herself conspicuously close to Joshua. Samuel and Annice both embraced me warmly, Annice with tears in her eyes informing me she couldn’t wait to call me her daughter.

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