Shadow of Shame: Book 1 of the Shadow series (6 page)

He knew she meant to say
him
. His heart was pounding so hard he feared it would show on the outside of his shirt. As much as he wanted to say, “with me?” he couldn’t. He wasn’t good enough for her, and it was wrong to lead her down a dead end road. He felt it time to end the conversation.

They’d reached the stable, and then continued to the gateway separating his property from the road. “Shall I get your family’s horse?” he asked.

“Oh! I’d nearly forgotten her.” She blushed sweetly.

“Wait here. I’ll get her and you can lead her home.”

She nodded.

“Are you all right riding while leading another horse? Do I need to follow you or anything?”

“Would you?” she asked. He noticed her forehead wrinkled when she worried. “I feel as though I've taken up too much of your time already.”

“Nonsense.” He turned and brought her horse back. “I’ll lead her.”

“Jonas, you are the most generous man I’ve ever met. Thank you for the horse, the saddle, and all your time.”

The sound of his name on her lips sent a thrill through his entire body. “Nah!” he said, “I’m just being neighborly,” and he nudged his horse on.

When they neared her house she remembered she’d told her parents that Peggy might be accompanying her. If they saw Jonas they’d know Peggy wasn’t with her. She stopped and turned to Jonas.

“I think I can handle leading the horse from here.”

Jonas nodded. “Good idea.”

Ivy thought he understood the awkwardness his escort would cause.

“I really enjoyed today. I can’t thank you enough,” she said.

“You’re welcome,” he said, handing her the lead to her other horse.

Again, their hands touched. This time neither pulled away. They both just smiled.

“Maybe someday I can repay you for your generosity,” she said.

Jonas smiled and said, “That isn’t necessary. It was worth it just to meet you, and to give Lucky a good home.” He turned, waved, and rode off.

Jonas couldn’t concentrate on his paper work. He hadn’t attended a barn dance, or anything else in town for five years. Why was he suddenly tempted to go to the dance? One reason could be that he didn’t trust Boyd with Ivy. He knew how crude Boyd was with women. Boyd behaved worse than he had when he was eighteen. At least Quinn had learned from Jonas’s mistake, but Boyd hadn’t. Now he was going to a barn dance with his angel, Ivy. He felt uncomfortable about it, yet he couldn’t possibly go to keep an eye on her. It was awkward going to functions in town. He worried that people might still remember. What if someone told Ivy about his past? Sooner or later someone would, of that he was sure.

While Jonas dallied with the paperwork on his desk, several days later, he heard someone riding down the path. He dropped his pen, and walked out the front door onto his porch to see Quinn, who leaped off his horse, tied it to the post, and jumped up onto the porch.

“Hey!” he greeted.

“Hey, yourself. Wait here,” Jonas pointed to a rocking chair on the porch and said, “I’ll bring out some lemonade.”

“Sounds good,” Quinn said.

Jonas returned carrying two glasses. “It’s pretty warm for this time of year, so I had Thelma whip up a batch this morning.”

“Pretty soon it’ll be hot cocoa,” Quinn said.

“So what brings you out, or is this just a visit?”

“Both, actually.” Quinn took a long drink. “You know I don’t always want something when I visit, but this time I do need a small favor.”

“Let’s hear it.”

“Well, there's a barn dance tomorrow night at the Hanleys’.” Quinn paused. “As it happens, I’ll be going. Do you suppose—”?

“No!” Jonas said without even thinking. Then added, “You know I never go to things like that.”

“I know, but I think it would do you good. You’re becoming too much of a recluse.” Quinn set his empty glass on the porch railing. “I worry about you.”

“I’m fine.”

“You aren’t. You are as single as I am. There's no reason why you can’t go to the dance and even court some women while you’re at it.”

“Quinn, you’re taking Mary Beth right?”

“Yes, but I’d like you to come, too. ” Quinn said.

“If you’re taking her, you don’t need me hanging around,” Jonas said.

“I do, because I don’t like thinking of you here all alone all the time.”

Jonas turned his glass around in his hands. If he went, he could keep his eye on Ivy, but a five-year habit was hard to break, even if it was for Ivy. Jonas contemplated all Quinn had said. He needed time to digest the information. He hesitated so long before answering that Quinn grew restless.

“Well?” Quinn asked.

“I’m afraid to face the people who scorned me five years ago,” Jonas said.

“You’re too hard on yourself, Jonas. God has forgiven you. You’ve turned your life around, and you're now as good as anyone—better, even, than most. I don’t think the people in town even remember your past. Most of them are new to town, besides.”

“I received another letter asking for double what I paid last month,” Jonas said.

“You didn’t!” Quinn said loudly. “What will you do?”

“I have no idea,” Jonas said, draining his glass. “No idea at all.”

“I’ll tell you what I think you should do. Call her bluff,” Quinn said.

“And then she’ll drop the child on my doorstep. What would I do then?”

“The child has to be four years old by now. Surely Beulah's bonded with the child over the years. I can’t see her parting with her,” Quinn said. “Call her bluff.”

“What she's doing is almost blackmail. And I never know how high the next payment will be. They're sometimes double, and even triple that of the last.”

“All the more reason to put a stop to it.” Quinn stood. “So, I guess you won’t go to the dance with us, huh?”

Jonas also stood, and walked Quinn to the porch steps. “I hear Ivy's going to the dance with Boyd.”

“You heard right,” Quinn said. “And I feel guilty about it too.”

“Why would
you
feel guilty?”

“He asked me to help him to get to know her. I’m the one who set it up for him to bring her here to pick out a horse.” He added quickly, “But not the dance!”

“Why would you do that? You know how Boyd is with women?” Jonas said, unable to conceal a touch of anger in his voice.

“I was thinking that if he courted a decent woman, he’d behave, but the more I think about some of Boyd’s antics, the more I feel I might've made a mistake in judgment.”

“I don’t trust him, Quinn. He’s the main reason you want me to go to the dance?”

Quinn nodded. “Partly. Do you really think he’d try something with the minister’s daughter?”

“I don’t know. Has he ever courted a decent woman?”

“Come to think of it, no,” Quinn said. “Now you have me worried. That’s an excellent reason for you to go tomorrow night.”

“Doesn’t your church frown on dancing?”

“Our church has always banned close dancing. These barn dances play all fast music, so you simply hold your partner’s hand and sort of skip around.“ Quinn laughed. “It’s sort of silly, if you ask me, but I promised Mary Beth I’d go.”

“My church is about the same. Years ago they wouldn’t allow it, but they’ve loosened up a bit since then.”

“Will you never return to our church? Ivy’s father is a really good speaker.”

Jonas shrugged. “Never's a long time, Quinn.”

“Come with me tomorrow, Jonas, help me keep Ivy safe.”

“I want to, Quinn, believe me, I do. I just don’t know if I can.”

“You have no problem going to church on Sunday.”

“My church is on the north end of Abilene, and the gossip about me never reached them.

“It wasn’t easy going there at first, either, but I had to show God how truly sorry I was. Do you have any idea how I felt when Minnie died? I'd hardly spoken to her the whole time we were married. We never slept together, or even ate a meal together. I couldn’t stand to look at her after what she did to me, so I ignored her. She died, and I made her last months on earth miserable.”

Quinn put his hand on Jonas’s shoulder. “It was as much her fault as it was yours. Stop dwelling on it, and get on with your life.”

Jonas walked Quinn to his horse. “I’ll try.”

“That’s good enough for me.” Quinn mounted his horse. “Jonas, if you change your mind, stop by my house around seven and we’ll go together. You have to live again.”

“When I said I’d try, I meant to get on with my life, not go to the barn dance.”

“C’mon, Jonas. Live a little. You’re only twenty-three and you're withering away out here on the ranch all alone.”

“I’ll think about it and try,” Jonas replied.

“You’ll try to go to the dance or try to think about it?”

Jonas sighed. “Both.”

In the morning, Jonas rode over to his brother’s house. Caleb was pulling pumpkins and squash from his garden. Jonas walked up to him and said, “I’d like for you to come with me to face Beulah Kreider. I’m not paying her this amount.” He handed the letter to Caleb.

Caleb took the letter and nearly swallowed the toothpick he had been dangling from his mouth. “Are you joking?”

“Nope. I need moral support. Are you with me?”

“You bet!” Caleb picked up his bushel of vegetables. “Just let me put these in the root cellar and I’ll have Barney bring my buggy around.”

“That’s too heavy for you!” Jonas grabbed the bushel basket out of his hands.

“Stop babying me, Jonas! I have to manage on my own. I can do it.” He grabbed the bushel back, and limped to the root cellar behind his house. Jonas just stood there, shaking his head.

Barney, Caleb’s hired man, pulled the buggy up in front of the small cottage on a street in the poorer section of town. The house leaned to one side and needed a good painting. The windows were dirty, and the roof had been patched in three places.

“This is where I drop the money off. My instructions are always to put the money inside the backyard shed. I’ve never been inside the house, and I've only ever met Beulah once, when she picked up the baby on the day of Minnie’s funeral.”

“How much were you paying her at the start?” Caleb asked.

“A quarter of what she is asking now,” he said.

They alighted from the buggy, and walked up the dirt path to the home. Jonas looked around. “They surely aren’t using the money to improve the child’s home.”

“I have to agree,” Caleb said.

Jonas knocked loudly on the rickety door. After several knocks, the door cracked open just enough for a pair of eyes to peer out. “Who are you and what do you want?” a woman’s voice said.

“Beulah?” Jonas asked.

“No! Go away!” she cried, and tried to slam the door, but Jonas had put is foot into the small opening, preventing her from closing it. He began to edge his way inside.

“Hey!” she cried. “You can’t just barge in here!”

Jonas pushed the door, and the slight woman moved aside with it, and he and Caleb stepped in and closed the door behind them. They looked at each other and grimaced. “What smells in here?” Jonas asked her.

The woman shrugged.

“Who are you?” he asked her. “And where is Beulah Kreider?”

“I don’t know anything,” she said, fear in her eyes. “I just babysit.”

“Why does this house smell so bad?” Caleb asked.

“You’d better leave, then, both of you. Please. I’ll be in big trouble if you don’t,” she begged.

“Who would give you trouble?” Jonas asked. “Beulah?”

The woman shook her head. She was a redhead with freckles, and looked vaguely familiar to Jonas. “Don’t I know you?” Jonas asked.

“Please leave,” she begged again.

“I
do
know you. You worked at the Silver Slipper.”

“Not anymore. Now please go,” she said. “I’ll lose the best job I’ve ever had.
You have to leave.”

“By whose orders? I pay plenty for the right to be here. I pay the rent.” Jonas gazed around the room. “I hope the child is kept better than this room.”

“Did
he
send you?” she asked, brightening a bit.

Jonas and Caleb exchanged looks. “He?” Jonas asked.

She frowned again. “Never mind…just leave.”

A youthful wailing rang out from somewhere in the house. “Is that the baby you’re supposed to be watching?” Jonas asked.

“Yes, but you must leave. I think you have the wrong house.” She started to open the door, but Jonas put his hand on it, slamming it shut. Jonas stood in front of the door.

“What’s the child’s name?” he demanded.

“Zoe, why?”

Jonas and Caleb again exchanged knowing looks.

“We're not going anywhere until you tell us who this man is that you fear. Is he the one who hired you?”

“Yes, but please, I can’t say more. He’ll fire me.”

Jonas pulled a few bills out from his pocket and held them out to her. “Can you tell me now?”

The woman grabbed the money and stuffed it down the front of her soiled dress. “He calls himself Mr. E., that's all I know him by. He walked into the saloon and offered me this job for twice what I was making there. Once a week he drops off money and food.”

“What does he look like?” Jonas asked.

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “He’s not as tall as you. He has dark hair and eyes.”

“And you never saw him in the saloon before the day he offered you the job?” Jonas asked.

The screaming had reached a pitch that could no longer be ignored. “Caleb, see to the child,” Jonas said.

Caleb followed the sound of the crying.

“I’d seen him many times before he offered me the job. I've even slept with him, but he’s always been nothing more than Mr. E. Now I'm going to lose this job.” She hesitated before continuing, biting her lower lip. “I’ll need a bit more money to tide me over.” She held out her hand.

Jonas removed a few more bills from his pocket, but held them out of her reach. “Where is Beulah?”

“Mr. E. told me that the child’s grandmother was dead. Is that who Beulah is?”

Jonas nodded. “Strange that no one in town knows about her dying, or I’d have heard about it,” Jonas said.

“That’s all I know.” She held out her hand again.

“When is this Mr. E. due to come by again with supplies?” Jonas asked. He was growing impatient with the woman.

“I never know. He was here just yesterday, so not for a while again.”

“Jonas!” Caleb yelled from another part of the house. “You’d better come in here.”

Jonas slapped the bills into her hand and told her, “Leave right now, and don’t come back.”

She grabbed the money and sped out of the house.

Jonas hurriedly followed the sound of a child’s screaming cry, and found Caleb standing in the doorway of a small, dark, closet-like room.